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Cronny's comics

CronnyCronny Registered User regular
edited January 2009 in Artist's Corner
Hey, everyone! I'm a big PA fan but this is the first time I've ventured into the forums. I've been doing a webcomic for a couple of months at Cronny.com and I'd love to get some of your input. The design of the site itself is atrocious right now, so if you wanna give any helpful suggestions in that area too, I'd love to hear them.

Here are a few samples of my comic:

2008-09-26.jpg

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This one is the conclusion of a story, in case the first panel is a little unclear:
2008-11-21.jpg

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2008-11-24.jpg

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Hope you like it..

Cronny on

Posts

  • L.E.O.L.E.O. Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    the first ones ending is kinda weak, too many things happen at once.

    i like the second one, where he freaks out, i remember that happening to me sometimes...

    the last one is not so funny, but it does tell us about the characters a bit, so its ok.

    the drawings seem to fit ok, some coloring would help a lot though i think.

    keep it up, its looking good.

    L.E.O. on
  • NappuccinoNappuccino Surveyor of Things and Stuff Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    I agree with Leo's first line- The comic is kind of cluttered. Does it really help the comic at all when there's more dialog then art? You do have a fairly decent thing going, I really like the rain for some reason I can't figure out. The characters are... bland and the leading man's eyes bug me.

    I also want more contrast so things pop. There are times when I couldn't quite tell what was going on because all you have are the outlines.

    The writing, however, is pretty good and natural. Even if you don't have laughs every single panel (or strip) I can see readers getting involved with the charactors and that alone carrying your comic.

    Nappuccino on
    Like to write? Want to get e-published? Give us a look-see at http://wednesdaynightwrites.com/
    Rorus Raz wrote: »
    There's also the possibility you just can't really grow a bear like other guys.

    Not even BEAR vaginas can defeat me!
    cakemikz wrote: »
    And then I rub actual cake on myself.
    Loomdun wrote: »
    thats why you have chest helmets
  • CronnyCronny Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    About the first one: I agree with what you guys have to say. That's an example of one of the earlier ones.

    To Nappuccino: What are you classifying as bland? I want to understand your comment more so I can benefit from it.

    Here are a couple of other samples:

    2008-12-01.jpg

    2008-12-08.jpg

    2008-12-12.jpg

    Cronny on
  • NappuccinoNappuccino Surveyor of Things and Stuff Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Bland as in: the designs all seem, aside from their hair/ tiny jaw difference/ to be interchangeable. Not to mention the hair seems kind of like anime hair (where that IS the only reason for the crazy hair) and... that isn't really a good thing imo.

    I suppose more than anything else, its the hair that seems bland too me. It's just done like that in so many other comics...

    Nappuccino on
    Like to write? Want to get e-published? Give us a look-see at http://wednesdaynightwrites.com/
    Rorus Raz wrote: »
    There's also the possibility you just can't really grow a bear like other guys.

    Not even BEAR vaginas can defeat me!
    cakemikz wrote: »
    And then I rub actual cake on myself.
    Loomdun wrote: »
    thats why you have chest helmets
  • winter_combat_knightwinter_combat_knight Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    I like the look of the comic. Characters expressions and poses arent too bad for the kind of comic style you're going for. Your drawings doesn't need to be great to be a good web comic. example But obviously, develop your character designs more as you go with your comic.

    One problem, i think you can make better use of your space with this comic
    2008-12-12.jpg

    The black are seems like a bit of a waste.

    The Mario 64 reference made me laugh. Cool. Keep going with it.

    EDIT: Like someone said, try a few with colour like your website banner

    winter_combat_knight on
  • CronnyCronny Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Thanks for all the input. I don't think I'll be doing color any time soon just because it's too time-consuming for me and I'm trying to keep my output at two per week.

    But what I do want to do is find ways to incorporate more black in my art so that it fills out the page a little nicer. Does anyone have any suggestions about how/where I can incorporate that into the style that I'm using?

    2008-12-19.jpg

    Cronny on
  • earthwormadamearthwormadam ancient crust Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Putting some backgrounds in there would give you a lot more of an opportunity to fill spots with ink.

    Also, a little more line width variation would go a long way in making these comics more visually interesting.

    earthwormadam on
  • brokecrackerbrokecracker Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Let me start by saying I like where this is going. I enjoyed the dialogue and found most of them easy to read. I would like to echo the line variation comment, that would probably help with character definition. Back-ground, mid-ground and four-ground need to be divided somehow other than size of characters (once again, line variation would help). I am a fan of Black and White comics, so I would suggest a set of grey scale prismacolor markers. They are awesome.

    brokecracker on
  • CronnyCronny Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    So being less rigid with the thickness of my lines was a fantastic suggestion! I think it instantly improved my style and I'm still experimenting with it so it should keep getting better. Thanks for the input! I don't know why I thought it was important to assign such specific thicknesses to different things.

    This was my first shot at less rigid line work. There's still a lot of dead space, but I think it's a step up:
    2008-12-22.jpg

    And this one I'm pretty happy with, but for some reason part of its je ne sais quoi was lost in scanner translation:
    2008-12-29.jpg



    Any more notes, anyone?

    Cronny on
  • bombardierbombardier Moderator mod
    edited December 2008
    The constant wide-eyedness makes me feel like they're all talking like chipmunks and it's almost exhausting to read since everything feels so hyper. It's just all OHMYGODOHMYGOD LOOKITME IM TALKING IN A COMIC. And don't give me the 'it's a stylistic choice' thing. Just because it's a style choice doesn't mean it's a good choice.

    bombardier on
  • FANTOMASFANTOMAS Flan ArgentavisRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    I think this time you are wrong Bombardier, as the character CLEARLY blinked in the last panel of the last comic... :P

    FANTOMAS on
    Yes, with a quick verbal "boom." You take a man's peko, you deny him his dab, all that is left is to rise up and tear down the walls of Jericho with a ".....not!" -TexiKen
  • MagicToasterMagicToaster JapanRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    I agree with bombs, this is tiring to read.

    MagicToaster on
  • NibCromNibCrom Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    I know many people use the thick black lines as a gutter, but it doesn't work for me and I'm not sure I've ever seen it used well.

    NibCrom on
  • buzachakabuzachaka Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    The art is bland, but it breaks from the "talking heads" motif often enough.... most importantly,
    I think the writing is well done and relatable for the target audience. I bookmarked it... not that anyone should give a shite...

    buzachaka on
  • desperaterobotsdesperaterobots perth, ausRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    The hair should connect with the head, instead of being a crazy electric line floating about. Also, give these people some eyelids, because fuck if their eyes wouldn't be dry. Also, it will help you endow upon your characters some much needed emotion, other than the OH GOD IM IN A WIND TUNNEL AND/OR A TRAIN IS SPEEDING TOWARD ME thing they've got going.

    desperaterobots on
  • The Black HunterThe Black Hunter The key is a minimum of compromise, and a simple, unimpeachable reason to existRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    I really like the "slice of life" style and the simplistic, rather dialogue heavy style.

    I know that goes against so so very many things people think comics should be but I think you balanced it well.

    The Black Hunter on
  • The Black HunterThe Black Hunter The key is a minimum of compromise, and a simple, unimpeachable reason to existRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Yeah fuck it double posting.

    I love this comic.

    Sadly I relate far too much to the main character, but it's just a great take on things

    The Black Hunter on
  • AllanAllan Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    I know exactly how you feel in that last comic, there.

    Shyly no-longer-singing when people pull up beside you in the car, but still singing.

    Of course, I'd never sing They Might Be Giants... but I digress.

    Allan on
    banndd1av6.gifbannerdd2or5.gif
  • JohnTWMJohnTWM Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Allan wrote: »
    Of course, I'd never sing They Might Be Giants... but I digress.
    I was really enjoying your comics Allan, but now? Now, you're dead to me!

    Person man, person man
    Hit on the head with a frying pan
    Lives his life in a garbage can
    Person man

    Is he depressed or is he a mess?
    Does he feel totally worthless?
    Who came up with person man?
    Degraded man, person man

    yay tmbg!

    JohnTWM on
  • CronnyCronny Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Hahaha! Don't worry about it, John. There are only two kinds of people in the world: People who like TMBG and people who haven't had TMBG explained to them properly.

    Cronny on
  • earthwormadamearthwormadam ancient crust Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    I guess I'm in the third group that is completely uninformed about them, but love them for their excellent Oblong opening theme.

    earthwormadam on
  • JohnTWMJohnTWM Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    I guess I'm in the third group that is completely uninformed about them, but love them for their excellent Oblong opening theme.

    They also did the opening for malcom in the middle and the big bang theory. But if you are interested in checking them out I recommend flood as their best album (although there are great songs on others!).

    Back on topic though, the eyes work fine for me, I never got the impression they were constantly surprised, but you might try doing some where you incorporate eyelids and see how it turns out.

    JohnTWM on
  • CronnyCronny Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Thanks. I actually do use eye-lids when I think the emotion calls for it. I'm not allergic to them or anything.

    And the Barenaked Ladies do the Big Bang Theory theme song. TMBG do a lot of theme songs though. Like the Daily Show theme and the Drinky Crow Show theme.

    Cronny on
  • nakirushnakirush Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    The thing is, eyelids are naturally in a relaxed state - about half way between the current top and the pupil. Use your current expressions for shock and excitement. If you need to show them squinting, looking annoyed etc, pull up the bottom lid. There's no reason for you to not at least give this a try, it only takes a few seconds to add two more lines to each character.

    nakirush on
  • crawdaddiocrawdaddio Tacoma, WARegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited January 2009
    I've got to say, looking at the comics, I'd have to side with nakirush, here; although I don't know if I can advocate for naturally relaxed eyelids all the way, your characters do seems to have a perpetually surprised state about them, which, it would seem to me, would diminish the impact of a portrayal of genuine astonishment. Seeing as the eyes are the banalified windows to the soul, to deny your comics the level of expression that might be accomplished with the various manipulations of the eyelids (and eyebrows, for that matter) would deny your characters of a wide range of emotional expression.

    crawdaddio on
  • CronnyCronny Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    I don't think the problem is as binary as, "eyelids = neutral, no eyelids = surprised." After all, would anyone say that South Park characters always look surprised in their normal state? Or Simpsons characters? I think you could argue that they look... keenly aware... but not surprised.

    But it is very interesting to hear all of this feedback about my characters' eyes because I always felt that they came across as neutral the way they were. I thought that I used enough indicators elsewhere to make their expressions clear, but I hear what you all are saying. I'm probably not going to give them "relaxed" eye-lids in their neutral state because I think that with the types of eyes that most of my characters have, that would look like a serious cliche. But I don't mean to sound defensive; we always have room for improvement, and I'm going to try to fix this eye issue. It'll probably just be a little bit more subtle than the methods suggested.

    Cronny on
  • nakirushnakirush Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    I did a quick paint over (or is it a sketch over?) to show you what I mean with the eyes.

    I had a hard time understanding this comic, but finally figured it out after reading some of the comments. I had no idea he was supposed to be getting quieter when the other car pulled up, so I didn't really get the joke.

    cronnycomicpaintoverwu6.jpg

    Here's what I changed:

    Panel 1) All you can see is the back of a car, so I added some spikes to the word balloon. Similar to what you have in the last panel, but not as much.
    Panel 2) I liked the expression in this panel. You could really tell he was belting it out. I just added spikes to the word balloon again, for consistencies sake.
    Panel 3) At this point I get that he's more reserved and mellowed out. I dropped his top lid even lower than I normally would to give him the bored "I'm cool" look. I did nothing with the word balloon, just another visual clue that he's stopped belting.
    Panel 4) It felt like he should be squinting, I don't know why.. so I drew in eye lids.
    Panel 5) I added some vertical lines across the yellow light, it was really competing for attention with the green light.
    Panel 6) I added speed lines for the other car.
    Panel 7 & 8) No changes.

    Hope that helps in some small way.

    nakirush on
  • CronnyCronny Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Ah! This very cool to actually see. Thanks for taking the time to do that. I like the idea of adding spikes to the word balloons. And the speed lines help the 6th panel a lot. I should brush up on my visual cues. Those ones just didn't occur to me. The eye-lid in the third panel changes the meaning, though. Rather than trying to look "cool", I meant for him to look like he's pretending he doesn't notice the other people, while at the same time quieting down a bit in order to not draw their attention. I like the eye-lids in panel 4. Although, again, they don't convey the expression I was originally trying to convey, but they do help to make him look quieter. Overall, though, I think that the addition of these eyelids does give the comic more variation, and thus makes it more aesthetic, so I certainly see your point.

    Although I still feel justified in my original version of the comic, you've given me something to shoot for.

    Cronny on
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