Ex-Fiance Still Causing Problems

MeeOk

I broke things off with my fiance after supporting the lazy slime bucket for almost two years (yeah I know it was dumb). In addition to burning through money I had saved, and having to spend more money for him not contributing anything, I've probably lost almost 40k. I broke things off with him about 9 months ago, and while I changed passwords on all my important stuff (banks, etc) I keep having to keep a close eye on my bank statements, because I keep having shit charged to me. I have no idea where he is, because he has been homeless since I dumped him, as he has nobody to mooch off of. Small claims seems a little excessive, and I don't know how to track down the bastard anyway. I have no.. familiarity or knowledge, really, of identity theft kind of things, so.. suggestions would be welcome. Should I close my account and open a new one? I do call the various companies that are charging me, and they're always really nice, but this is frustrating. And I really can't afford to keep having my bank account nickel and dime-d to death.

noir_blood

Yeah, easiest thing to do is close your account and open up a new one.

onceling

I had this problem with my ex too. It takes a long time to sort this out. Unfortunately I think you really need to take care of this in a big way. I think you need to:

1. Get new account and card numbers. Yeah it sucks but it's worth it.
2. Speak with your *bank* specifically about blocking charges from these specific companies.
3. File a watch on your credit rating. Basically they will not allow new things to be opened without phoning you, it'll stop some of the junk mail too. These expire but its good for a short term solution.
4. If you had a joint anything (even like a coupon card somewhere with his name on it also) cancel the whole lot and get new cards and new numbers.

MeeOk

I never had a joint account with him, and I don't get any mail for him, but I do get calls for him. I think all of the current problems come from a single instance where I let him borrow my debit card, and they are just reoccurring charges.

Pheezer

Okay, so why haven't you spoken to your bank about it yet?

EggyToast

Exactly. The bank holds your money. If you don't tell them that something is wrong, why would they fix it?

RallyGirl76

MeeOk wrote: »

I never had a joint account with him, and I don't get any mail for him, but I do get calls for him. I think all of the current problems come from a single instance where I let him borrow my debit card, and they are just reoccurring charges.

Call the bank today (change accounts and numbers) and change your phone number.

Also good choice to cut the looser, once your past this crapy stuff, enjoy your single life (hopefully stress free...)

VThornheart

Aye, definitely talk to them, what he's basically doing is stealing from you. Have them make you a new account, and if he has access to anything else of yours (credit cards), try to (if possible) cancel those and get new ones started in their place (if needed).

You also may want to do a credit check, to see if he may have opened any accounts in your name. If so, you can report it to the police and they'll hunt him down the next time he tries to use these fraudulent accounts.

SammyF

Really if it's a matter of recurring charges, it's actually easier to take care of this than you'd think. You don't need a new account number--you just need to have your cards reissued to you. When Verizon of Blizzard Entertainment or whoever tries to get money out of your monthly automatic billpay thingamajig, they'll get flagged because while they'll have the right account number still, the expiration date will be different.

ADDED-You should still go ahead and talk to your bank about ways to make sure your account is secure in case they have reason to believe he has other methods of accessing your account.

stratslinger

One additional note: If these are recurring charges for some account(s) he opened, make sure those accounts were NOT opened in your name! If they were, contact them and close those accounts!!! If you change bank account numbers and such to block those accounts, but those debtors have your name down as an account holder, you'll shortly be an account holder not in good standing. Depending on who/what they are they may send your account to collections and/or report you to the credit bureaus.

MeeOk

The two times I did have to call people, because they were reoccurring charges, the companies were really nice. Everything was in his name, and they canceled everything and I just checked my account and part of the partial refund one of them is giving me is already in there.

I sent a help request to my bank already, but haven't heard back from them yet. I'm going in person to speak with some people at the bank on Saturday. I hope I'll hear back from them via e-mail or phone before then, though.

VThornheart

Is there a chance that he's writing checks in your name or anything like that? Or has a debit card of yours? Or making direct withdrawals? Just checking all the bases, making sure it's covered as best as possible.

Hypatia

Definitely get those copies of your free credit report. It's important to note that even if you got your free credit report less than a year ago, if there's any evidence that you might be a victim of identity theft they'll send you another free one.

If you find out he's opened things in your name and need to deal with the identity theft stuff and need help just send me a PM. I had to deal with my identity getting stolen and it is a real pain in the ass and can take years and years to clean up. The nice part is that if you do get victimized they'll put a lock on your name for up to 7 years where they'll call you whenever someone tries to open anything in your name and check your identity, you don't have to renew it every year etc.

MeeOk

I know he has no checks of mine, and I have my debit card. I think this is all just from the one day I let him use it, to try and pay for something having to do with him getting a job. Which he never did. Bastard. In any case, I'll talk with my bank, ask for a credit report.. etc. I don't think I am actually having to deal with identity theft. Just recurring things that he instigated from that single day.

MagicPrime

Banks have to deal with these kinds of situations all the time. Changing your account numbers and getting you new cards/checks/etc. is very routine.