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There's a squirrel trapped in my bathroom
Micro
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
I'm at a loss as to how to handle this situation, there are no manuals for such a dilemma, even googling this predicament didn't help.
It's all my girlfriend's fault and her fucking hazelnut shampoo, fucking lathering herself in it, and then with not a care in the world off she goes to bed, leaving the window open of course to let out the steam from the shower she just had.
Anyhow, next morning I walk in to the bathroom half-dozed and the little bastard gives me a wild look and goes for my toes, I'm outta there, of course, quicker than you can say Loreal and well...what to do now?
He's left the place in quite a mess and I wish he would leave. I went outside to have a look and it seems the winds have blown the window shut. So, I've gone upstairs and listened outside the bathroom door and the little fucker is making mad whines and panicked screeches and running around banging into things, he's bigger than you might imagine too...he came in from the trees overhanging the upstairs window, obviously conditions are cold/frozen outside and he came foraging for food. My theory is the hazelnut scent attracted him. I used to love squirrels and considered them to be cute, loveable and kind but this guy is going mental because he feels trapped
Now, I'm afraid to confront him, but in the battle between civilised man and savage animal there can be only one winner, I'm going to have to use my intelligence and craft to win this duel, so far I have come up with two possible strategies:
A) persuade my girlfriend to tame the beast
wait him out, no matter if it takes weeks or months until starvation takes hold - although this means I won't be able to shower for quite some time
(all google has is this http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081003153721AA8ZGfI but I don't have any peanut butter)
It's all my girlfriend's fault and her fucking hazelnut shampoo, fucking lathering herself in it, and then with not a care in the world off she goes to bed, leaving the window open of course to let out the steam from the shower she just had.
Anyhow, next morning I walk in to the bathroom half-dozed and the little bastard gives me a wild look and goes for my toes, I'm outta there, of course, quicker than you can say Loreal and well...what to do now?
He's left the place in quite a mess and I wish he would leave. I went outside to have a look and it seems the winds have blown the window shut. So, I've gone upstairs and listened outside the bathroom door and the little fucker is making mad whines and panicked screeches and running around banging into things, he's bigger than you might imagine too...he came in from the trees overhanging the upstairs window, obviously conditions are cold/frozen outside and he came foraging for food. My theory is the hazelnut scent attracted him. I used to love squirrels and considered them to be cute, loveable and kind but this guy is going mental because he feels trapped
Now, I'm afraid to confront him, but in the battle between civilised man and savage animal there can be only one winner, I'm going to have to use my intelligence and craft to win this duel, so far I have come up with two possible strategies:
A) persuade my girlfriend to tame the beast
wait him out, no matter if it takes weeks or months until starvation takes hold - although this means I won't be able to shower for quite some time(all google has is this http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081003153721AA8ZGfI but I don't have any peanut butter)
Micro on
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Posts
your move
edit:
actually do what kovak says, because I can't stop laughing.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
it's not likely to hamstring you and eat your eyes
Alternately,
Steam / Bus Blog / Goozex Referral
PM me a pic of your girlfriend.
XBox LIVE: Bogestrom | Destiny
PSN: Bogestrom
That one belongs to the Squirrel King now.
after that I have no idea
What if that one won't leave my bathroom? I don't want to put a cat in there, and then have to get the cat out with a dog... etc etc, pretty soon I'll have a lion fighting a bear in there or some shit.
Then again, I could charge admission so people can watch. Then I won't care about my bathroom.
they would just sit around shooting them with pellet guns. once they stunned one and put it in a glass box and hotboxed it for an hour then let it out and it was all fucked up
then they shot it
maybe you should make a thread there asking why they exist
they might help or give you advice on the subject
also Fandy do your friends also wear nothing but overalls and drink out of jugs with 'xxx' written on them?
you have horrible friends and are horrible
Do it.
XBox LIVE: Bogestrom | Destiny
PSN: Bogestrom
i never killed a single one
don't talk to them anymore
though i will never forget the smell of that time they decided to cremate a squirrel they had killed with home made napalm
Then let in an even bigger animal that is the natural predator of the bigger animal
It can't fail
PSN ID : DetectiveOlivaw | TWITTER | STEAM ID | NEVER FORGET
Wow. Just wow.
oh ok
the worst part is that they weren't rednecks
they were pothead weird hippies who were into explosives and violence and bombcraft and all kinds of ridiculous shit
a bomb squad raided one of their sheds our junior year. and once one of them accidentally pointed an airsoft gun at a cop yelling the n word and came so close to dying
PSN ID : DetectiveOlivaw | TWITTER | STEAM ID | NEVER FORGET
i wouldn't be surprised
it's been a few years since i talked to either but last i heard one was addicted to heroin and the other was
going to engineering school
stop being a fucking pussyfart and just go in there and open the damned window
Wasn't there a cartoon like this
or
it
didn't
happen.
(poidh)
I had a copy of the Anarchist Cookbook too, but I never killed any animals.
Yeah, you should totally do this!
XBox LIVE: Bogestrom | Destiny
PSN: Bogestrom
There was the old woman that swallowed the flea... or something.
I don't think she swallowed a squirrel, though, so it's probably of no help whatsoever.
but she's not his sister