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You Slack-Jawed Cunt-Sack
Vann Diras
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Allow me, if you will, to unravel a tale to you.
There I stood in the aisle of my local bookstore. I was browsing the fiction section for nothing in particular, when I notice a rather large volume, tan with gold lettering. Etched in the binding is Homer, and my curiosity rises. I pull the tomb out to see if it is The Iliad, my favored epic over its brother, The Odyssey.
As these very events unfold, a man walks into the same aisle as me. Tall and quite gaunt, he wore what was assuredly a perpetual stubble. His attire consisted of worn, ragged skinny jeans and a t-shirt. Circling his neck was a scarf, while thick-rimmed glasses hid under his coarse, unwashed shoulder-length hair.
So I am looking at this paperback as he walks by, and I see out of my peripheral vision that he has turned to look at me. I see this man form a smug smile as he looks down at the book I'm holding. I then watch as he laughs. He turned, look at me and the book I was holding, and literally laughed at me. Not a snicker, not a chuckle. A full-on unbridled chortle.
He then continues on down the aisle, proceeds to pick a novel by Anne Rice out of the shelves, and moves to another part of the store.
I stood, petrified by confusion and rage. Did he really just laugh? Really? And then after mocking my particular selection, grabbed a novel by Anne Rice? That son of a bitch. I'm typically of a cool demeanor, but for a brief moment I wanted to destroy that man.
So SE++, who did you encounter today that needed a good punch to the jaw?
There I stood in the aisle of my local bookstore. I was browsing the fiction section for nothing in particular, when I notice a rather large volume, tan with gold lettering. Etched in the binding is Homer, and my curiosity rises. I pull the tomb out to see if it is The Iliad, my favored epic over its brother, The Odyssey.
As these very events unfold, a man walks into the same aisle as me. Tall and quite gaunt, he wore what was assuredly a perpetual stubble. His attire consisted of worn, ragged skinny jeans and a t-shirt. Circling his neck was a scarf, while thick-rimmed glasses hid under his coarse, unwashed shoulder-length hair.
So I am looking at this paperback as he walks by, and I see out of my peripheral vision that he has turned to look at me. I see this man form a smug smile as he looks down at the book I'm holding. I then watch as he laughs. He turned, look at me and the book I was holding, and literally laughed at me. Not a snicker, not a chuckle. A full-on unbridled chortle.
He then continues on down the aisle, proceeds to pick a novel by Anne Rice out of the shelves, and moves to another part of the store.
I stood, petrified by confusion and rage. Did he really just laugh? Really? And then after mocking my particular selection, grabbed a novel by Anne Rice? That son of a bitch. I'm typically of a cool demeanor, but for a brief moment I wanted to destroy that man.
So SE++, who did you encounter today that needed a good punch to the jaw?
It was The Odyssey, by the way.
Vann Diras on
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I am fucking godly tonight
because that's the best one.
PARKER, YOU'RE FIRED! <-- My comic book podcast! Satan look here!
well fuck you, you fuckin jackoff
PARKER, YOU'RE FIRED! <-- My comic book podcast! Satan look here!
his odyssey one is good. though i like allen mandelbaum's aeneid more. and lattimore's Iliad, but that's probably because that's the one i used most in school.
PARKER, YOU'RE FIRED! <-- My comic book podcast! Satan look here!
Because I'm a complainasaurus.
Also you've got to be one among a very few people who prefers the Iliad to the Odyssey. (at least among folks I've met)
Also I've never been in a fight.
Good Quaker education all up ins.
Isn't this a Simpson's quote?
Nope. Mission Hill.
"Sir. I work for the state. I'm quite familiar with crap and jerkoffs."
I've actually never been in one myself
I'm typically exceedingly patient with assholes!
oh but I will curse at them under my breath. that'll show 'em
Congratulations. You will probably lose sleep over it tonight.
Chances are you're going to get hit, and even if you hit the other guy more, it's still going to hurt and probably leave a bruise.
Some punk kid had been harassing me the whole year and then my teacher found me crying in the hall after school once because the guy had stolen my shoes and then kicked me in the balls when I confronted him about it.
So my teacher said "wait, he kicked you in the balls? Why didn't you do anything? Why aren't you doing something now?"
So I figured, 'hey yeah!' and went up to the waiting area next to the parking lot and decked him right in the eye. The yard duty was there before he could even get up so it wasn't much of a fight.
The talk with the principal was interesting, though. "But the teacher told me to do it!"
it's mostly me just being bitter and hateful since i've never committed a violent act in my life
I fought back by verbally abusing them in public settings.
For instance: One time this guy gave me shit. I happened to know that he was adopted. So I said, "Well, at least I know who my parents are. They didn't leave me on the street to die."
No, but they still get all the good chicks.
and he was on my fucking team.
so i got up and pushed him back. and then he punched me in the temple.
i was stunned for a few seconds and he ran off and i couldn't find him for the rest of recess.
turns out that he broke his hand punching me and ran off to the principals office and had to get an ambulance to take him to the hospital.
PARKER, YOU'RE FIRED! <-- My comic book podcast! Satan look here!
Wanted to sock that kid square in the nose, but I was brought up in the right sort of household and knew not to hit the mentally handicapped.
I can live with that, I'll still die alone unloved and unwanted right?
Why? Being hit isn't very enjoyable.
Why?
Ohhh yeah...
"I need this tooth put back in my head..."
speaking as someone who has gotten in many fights i can say you are retarded.
Yes, fighting is fun times now.
Lifetip for fighting: it's not a matter of whether or not you can take one of them, it's how long you can last before their friends jump in.
yeah, you definitely haven't ever been in a fight
PARKER, YOU'RE FIRED! <-- My comic book podcast! Satan look here!
His Iliad is fucking incredible. Buy ittttttttttttttttttttt