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IRL: Lan Party "Achievements" (ITT, we fragged your sister)
1ddqd
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
My brothers and cousin get together every year for a bonding experience. We usually rent out a cabin/house somewhere nice and spend the weekend/week playing games. Usually, we have a way of gauging success with points, but this year we want to do something a little more special.
Achievements. You know then, you love them (or hate them). Here are what we've come up with since last night, and I would really appreciate your thoughts/ideas/insights.
Achievements. You know then, you love them (or hate them). Here are what we've come up with since last night, and I would really appreciate your thoughts/ideas/insights.
@$%;&!: Do something in-game that manages to get four or more players to shout / utter profanities simultaneously.
AFK: Fall asleep at your computer while in game.
Alt, in the name of the Law.: Use Alt-F4 to close somebody's game three times without being caught. They must be playing a single-player game, and they must be seated at their PC.
Army of One: In an MP team game:[/b] One team consists of only one player (and no bots) vs another team of at least 5 human players.
Army of Two: In an MP team game:[/b] One team consists of only two players (and no bots) vs another team of at least 6 human players.
Baazar: More than two hours of the LAN became dedicated solely to file swapping and no games are being played during this entire period, either SP or MP, by attendees.
Bandwidth Bandit: Aquire 20 gigs of leeched material
Bladder Devastator: Drink 12 Drinks within the day.
Bling Bling: Have more nonessential LEDs in your case than any other person in attendance.
Blue Teeth: Find 5 Bluetooth services and get them to accept a really crude picture
Born To Lose: Show up at the event with a non-working PC, leave without playing a game.*
Boy Scout: You brought extra hardware and other people actually had to use it.
Brain Science: Perform OS installation or driver maintenance while at the LAN.
Burning Inferno Man: Successfully charge into a group of enemies, release a grenade, and blow yourself and at least one enemy up. If possible in game, do not release grenade, but rather let it blow up while you're still holding it. Must shout BURNING INFERNO MAN while doing so.
But it was funny, huh?: Prolong a match in any RTS for at least an hour by hiding a single unit in a corner of the map.
But, but!: Refuse to join in the LAN festivities because you just know those shoulders are going to drop for your guild tonight.
By the Power of Greyskull: Impress everyone one with your new SLI/Crossfire super computer, then proceed to only play CS 1.6.
Check Check Check: Use in-game voice chat to speak to someone using speakers.
Chivalry Is Dead: Rebind everyone's reload keys while they go for more booze. Get away with it.
Clean Slate: Erase another player's porn collection without their knowledge
Dead Man Walking: Still be awake when everyone else is beginning to wake up
Dear Yes: Complete a 60 second call to wife/girlfriend, while drunk and not die.
Deities: (Prerequisite: Army of Two) Win the round with your partner against a team of 8 or more in any game type besides Team DM.
Depositing Diamonds: Go an entire round desperately needing to defecate, without dying or having an "accident".
Desktop Don Juan: Have a Japanese dating sim installed.
Destined to Lose: Have a Computer die while at a LAN Party.
Did I say that?: While being killed by one person who you don't know over and over, announce out loud that they're some sort of flaming cockeating douchebag. Then, have it turn out to be that 6-foot tall gorilla in the corner who could kill you with his pinky finger.
Digital Poon Ninja: Play a Japanese dating sim with no objections or ridicule from anyone else in attendance.
Dominated: Win at least 3 events during the lan (alternatively, 3 rounds of the same game)
Don't be that guy: Bring your second monitor with you and take up an extra power slot just to plug it in
Don't be that guy Pt. 2: Get disconnected from a LAN game because you didn't take your windows keys off of your keyboard, yet
Don't Forget to Wash Your Hands: Take a bathroom break mid-round without being killed during the break
Don't Quit Your Day Job: Sing any pop song into the microphone in a full game on Xbox Live/Playstation Network/Steam/etc.
Don't Tease Me, Bro!: Insult another person at the LAN until they refuse to play the game with you any longer.
Don't worry, we got your back: Continue playing a game while unaware that the other people still connected to the game are asleep at thier computers. (This happened to me in Dungeon Siege, thier characters were on Autopilot behaviors)
DOTA? What's that?: Get introduced to a game at a LAN party and become hopelessly addicted to it
Dude, your Mom rocks: Have your Mom supply you and your friends with all kinds of delicious foods
Dude, your Wife rocks: The host's wife cooks the delicious foods.
Dude, I'm Right Here: Use in-game voice chat to speak to someone sitting next to you.
Dude, what the hell is wrong with your mom: Show your mother hardcore porn clips you found while she laughs, then have her discuss her "alone-time" habits with your friends she's never met before and finally offering to buy weed and booze for everyone, including those who might be underage. X2 if someone takes her up on the offer.
E Coli: Gain the Sticky Fingers achievement and shake as may hands as possible.
Epidemic Show up to the lan party with the flu 100 points for each member who leaves feeling 'I little under the weather'
Everyone's A Winner: Play a noncompetitive multiplayer game (ie Garry's Mod).
Extreme Force Feedback: Win a round, where, for the entire duration of the round, another player is shaking and turning your chair around according to your in-game movements and actions.
Fanboy Defense Force: Be told the game you play sucks by another individual.
Feast!: Have enough food on hand to feed a group at least 3x the size that is actually there.
Featherweight: Your computer weighs less than 8 lbs.
Feng Shui MacGyver: Find a comfortable seating arrangement for everyone at the LAN despite serious lack of desk/floor space and chairs.
Fill the Gap: Aquire 500gigs of leeched material
Final Score 420: Win a match while high as fuck.
Finishing Move: Permanently damage, or destroy, your computer or other component when packing to leave.
Fish Eye: As a sniper, play the entire round zoomed in (spawn is "safe zone"). (Alternatively, use some extreme FOV in the console)
Free Spirit: Do something of value in a game with a horrifically inappropriate control setup (ie a Guitar Hero controller).
Freebird!: Spontaneously start a LAN-wide sing-a-long by bursting into song.
General Contractor: Create a fully functional level to play while at the LAN.
Get Money, Get Paid: Accumulate over $500 worth of tournament prizes.
Ghettowned: Lose a match due to the failure of a temporary fix.
Goggles Do Nothing!: Change every shortcut on a friend's computer to open up a web URL to a shock site. (like tubgirl)
Gotta Go: Take a bathroom break mid-round and win that round.
Graphics Department: Custom make art assets for a game while at the LAN. (Spraytags, skins, models...)
Grumpy Old Hermit: Play an SP game that is over 9 years old at the LAN.
GutBuster: (Prerequesite: Feast!) Finish all the food that was brought.
Hacking the Gibson: Write your own special purpose software at the LAN.
Have Machine, Will Travel: Travel at least 300 miles to attend a LAN.
Hay Gaiz!: Be the only person to show up with a large set of speakers and no headphones. Use said speakers to play bad music that no one can stand.
Heavyweight: Your computer weighs 80 lbs or more.
Here's a tissue: Make someone cry over the internet.
Heretic: Lure at least 3 people away from their PCs to play a console game.
HEY! LISTEN!: Repeatily play an annoying audio or video clip at blaring levels that begins to annoy the other LAN participants.
Hopeless Romantic: Play a Japanese dating sim.
I CALLED IT!: Declare a knife kill at the beginning of a round, and successfully execute one.
I don't have a bottle!: Hold your bathroom break for an entire RTS match
I Drink Your Milkshake!: Transfer enough files or stream enough media to ruin the gaming experience of everyone connected to the same hub.
I Think You Like This Game A Little Too Much: Play an entire round of an RTS using only one hand.
Innocent Until Proven Guilty: Kick so much ass that someone comes over to your keyboard to try and open up cheat menus that don't exist.
Is that a horse?: Spot a fat lonely guy "sampling" some of the porn he just leeched
Is that the whole series?: Aquire 150 gigs of leeched material
It's A Jump To The Left: Win a match in a 2D fighting game using a dance mat as controller.
It's all about Meme: Create a catchphrase for each person at the LAN party, and get everyone else to begin using at least one of these new catchphrases.
It's Time to Upgrade: Bring a computer that does not meet the minimum system requirements to play the games.
Jack of All Trades: Play every single available game at a LAN Party.
Last Man Standing: Be the last to cave in when everyone else decide to just go back to playing CS.
Left-Hand Drive: Acquire another player's porn collection without their knowledge
Like a Ninja: Unplug the winning player's network cable mid game without him noticing who did it.
Listening post: Watch what one player is doing and feed all the information back to his opponent without him catching on.
lrn 2 speek: Play an entire computer-based game match using correct punctuation and no abbreviations (lol, gg, etc.).
MacGuyver: Having to make anything you need for your LAN while at the LAN, using only supplies on hand.
Maid Service: Help clean up during or after the LAN.
Make Up Sax: Diffuse tension in a game by playing Yakkity Sax with the proper timing.
Making Friends: Accidentally kill the entire enemy team in CS during the first game of the weekend.
Master Chef: The host of the LAN prepares and cooks the delicious food by themselves.
Minty Penguin: Survive the entire night without a single caffeinated beverage or sleep aid
Misappropriated Charms: Play a Japanese dating sim with an available member of the opposite sex in attendance.
Model Citizen: Use the network for legal, non-porn file sharing.
Monkey with a Mic: Unplug the mic of the annoying guy that makes announcements every 10 minutes.
Mum's Irish, Dad's Polish: Down a bottle of a 30%+ alcohol of your choice. x2 if you end up groping someone as a result. x3 if its a woman. x4 if its the hosts sister.
My Life Is, Like, So Over: Successfully hijack another person's IM or social networking account.
Name Game: Name yourself 'I Have Crabs'* then make someone accidentally shout "Goddammit I have Crabs!" in a fit of rage.
Never gonna give you up...: Rickroll someone.
Night Owl: Be the last person to call it a night
Ninja Mind Control: Swap your mouse and keyboard cables for your opposite opponent without them noticing.
No Girls Allowed: There are no female gamers in attendance.
No Laughing Manner: Attend the entire party without laughing at any individual once.
No Mouselook!?: Win a round in an FPS without using a mouse.
No rest for the wicked: Wake someone up who has dozed off at their desk
Nothing Will Stop Me: Swap out a non-essential component of your PC, without powering-down, exiting the game, while playing in an official contest AND have your team still win.**
Nubby: Achieve top 2 status using your elbow to control the mouse in a game of your choice.
Oldschool: Play a multiplayer game that is at least 9 years old.
Omnipotent: (Prerequisite: Army of One) Win the round by yourself against another team of 8 or more in any game type besides Team DM.
On a Leash: Had to leave the LAN because you were called home.
Oww my freakin' ears: Request a really annoying song to be played loud by the host. Hardcore J-Pop is perfect.
Pack Hunter: Everyone at the LAN joins the same team on a public game.
Public Service Successfully kill the asshole who gloats to much about his win streak.
Ramsay's Rage: Order all of the food for the entire party from a single fast food joint, causing the workers to curse at you.
Reality Check: You have hallucinations that make you think you're still playing a game when away from your computer. (Such as health bars over other cars when driving home.)
Resistance Is Futile: Play a team game where one team consists of a single player with a bot army and the other team consists of everyone else.
Resourceful: Compensate for a lack of network hardware by connecting at least one machine using Windows Internet Connection Sharing.
Respawn Time: 1 Hour: Take a nap.
Ric. Rolled: Trick everyone at your LAN into downloading the HL mod Ricochet. This will be easy because it totally looks awesome.
Ricochet: Inadvertently cause not much fun to be had by suggesting everyone try out this game that "totally looks awesome".
Ridin' with the King: Win cash prizes where as none of your friends win anything.
Rocket Surgery: Perform hardware installation or removal while at the LAN.
Running Commentary: Make rediculous comments over someones shoulder while they play until they are annoyed
Safety Inspector: Object to a lengthy chain of power strips.
Sausage Fest: There are no females in attendance at all.
Scare the Pizza Delivery Guy: Scare the crap out of the pizza delivery guy
Screening King: In any team game, constantly observe the enemy team's movements and announce it as loudly and obnoxiously to your team as possible. Works also even if your not playing. Achievement unlocked when someone throws a fist at you.
Seriously Guys, This Is Going To Be Awesome: Loop Yakkity Sax for a minimum of 30 minutes.
Set the Mood: Setup additional non-standard lighting for the LAN. (Such as Red Lights because they're easy on the eyes.)
Share All: Share your entire HDD, without remembering you have now also shared your sick deviant pornography that might just get you arrested one day, as well.
Shill-tacular: Manage to convince one or more participants to buy a new video game.
Sobriety Test: Win a match while legally drunk.
Special Ops : Change the key bindings for every other players games, then kill them all in game before they can figure it out.
Spectator: (Prerequisite: Pack Hunter) When you die in game, use the Spectator/Observer mode to give your fellow teammates at the LAN intel on the other team.
Speechless: Provide a comeback online that renders it's victim completely unable to think of anything to say. Also point this out to them.
STFU: Do not stop talking the entire round/ game.
Sticky Fingers: Go a whole LAN party without washing your hands.
Still not Big Enough: Easily have the largest monitor by a wide margin at the LAN. (Such as using a projector or absurdly sized monitor.)
Technical Difficulties : Replace a players desktop with a screenshot of it, hide all icons, then laugh when they can't figure out whats wrong.
Technical Difficulties: Bring a computer loaded with Windows ME.
That Guy While everyone plays a multiplayer game together, play a singleplayer game or MMO by yourself.
THAT'S JUST MEAN: Declare a knife kill at the beginning of a round on a specific opponent and successfully do it.
The Bait and Switch: When the first person who wimps out falls asleep, open up his case and replace his high end videocard with a 16MB ATi Rage! 128 that you fished out of an old Pentium II.
The fuck did you do to this thing?: Perform general maintenance on another person's computer while at the LAN.
The Watchman: While everyone else goes to sleep, be the one guy that stays up all night.
There's Someone In Here: Jerk off in the bathroom without being caught.
They finally found me: initial a game/round of C&C Renegade.
They know where you sleep: Go a round of an FPS game without dying, and gloat like hell about it.
Thinking Different: Network all computers at the LAN using something other than RJ45 network cables and WiFi.
Thinking Outside The Box: Win a match with an atypical control setup (ie a bluetooth connected wiimote).
This Ain't Rocket Science: Fix a technical problem using duct tape.
Travel by Zen: Go the entire lan without sleeping, eating nothing but sugar and then drive home.
Troglodyte: Lure at least 3 people away from their PCs to play a board game, card game, CCG, or tabletop RPG.
True Man's Waste: Clog up a Commercial Power flushing Toilet.
Ultimate Song-down: get at least one other person to join you in singing "This is the ultimate showdown" (of ultimate destiny)
Unsafe Networking: Trigger a virus warning on one or more machines connected in the LAN.
Used Car Salesman: Talk someone into buying a new piece of equipment, who then immediately goes out to purchase the item and returns to the LAN with it.
Vomit comet- My most memorable LAN achievement was making a friend laugh so hard that he vomited.
Weekend Confirmed: Made first kill (or RTS elimination) of the weekend.
What does "high score" mean?: Be the first to beat all players in a new game that no one has played before. (Players agree to a new game before said LAN party)
What the Fuck Are They Even Singing About?: Play leekspin out loud for a minimum of an hour.
What The Fuck Is That Smell?: Go the entire week/weekend without showering.
Who Invited Him Again?: Accidentally break someone's equipment (i.e. stepping on headphones, etc.)
Who Watches The Watchman?: Use your restlessness for nefarious purposes that result in another achievement.
Why Is The Screen Shaking?: Consume only soda and sugary snacks for the whole weekend.
Wishful Thinking: Chose to sit out of game because you would rather look at porn.
Yes Dear: Successfully field an entire 60-second or longer phone call from wife/girlfriend/SO without being killed.
You just had to be different: Show up with a Linux box. x3 if it runs every game in the LAN party under Wine.
You should really get help: Taken speed just to stay up all weekend
Your Mom Is A Classy Lady: Be Fragged by the host's/a guest's parent.
Zombie: Lure at least 3 people away from their PCs to watch TV or a movie.
1ddqd on
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Final Score 420: Win a match while high as fuck.
I Think You Like This Game A Little Too Much: Play an entire round of an RTS using only one hand.
What The Fuck Is That Smell?: Go the entire week/weekend without showering.
Yes Dear: Successfully field an entire 60-second or longer phone call from wife/girlfriend/SO without being killed.
Can trade TF2 items or whatever else you're interested in. PM me.
Also playing GTA2 and watching my friend get run over by four fire engines after a fire he started.
Pokemon Safari - Sneasel, Pawniard, ????
Chivalry Is Dead: Rebind everyone's reload keys while they go for more booze. Get away with it.*
*Based on a true story, gentleman.
Currently playing: GW2 and TSW
I'd vote for that.
Steam
XBOX
similarly
Don't Forget to Wash Your Hands: Take a bathroom break mid-round without being killed during the break.
Another one I thought of:
Nubby: Achieve top 2 status using your elbow to control the mouse in a game of your choice.
That's a man violation! Porn can never be erased, it can only be added to!
@$%&!: Do something in-game that manages to get four or more players to shout / utter profanities simultaneously.
My proposal: Dear Yes: Complete a 60 second call to wife/girlfriend, while drunk and not die.
2008, 2012, 2014 D&D "Rare With No Sauce" League Fantasy Football Champion!
Weekend Confirmed: Made first kill (or RTS elimination) of the weekend.
Xbox Live - Draysoth1
PSN - Draysoth
Steam - Draysoth
3DS - 2320-6133-3744
Please let me know if you add me!
Burning Inferno Man: Successfully charge into a group of enemies, release a grenade, and blow yourself and at least one enemy up. If possible in game, do not release grenade, but rather let it blow up while you're still holding it. Must shout BURNING INFERNO MAN while doing so.
Last Man Standing: Be the last to cave in when everyone else decide to just go back to playing CS.
Scare the Pizza Delivery Guy: Scare the crap out of the pizza delivery guy.
All based on actual events.
I have actually gotten this achievement. It's just like getting banned from a server for doing so well but in real life.
HEY! LISTEN!: Repeatily play an annoying audio or video clip at blaring levels that begins to annoy the other LAN participants.
STFU: Force someone to turn off thier speakers or microphone.
Feast!: Have enough food on hand to feed a group at least 3x the size that is actually there.
GutBuster: (Prerequesite: Feast!) Finish all the food that was brought.
AFK: Fall asleep at your computer while in game.
No Girls Allowed: There are no female gamers in attendance.
Sausage Fest: There are no females in attendance at all.
I will have to come up with more when I'm not at work.
Dead Man Walking: Still be awake when everyone else is beginning to wake up
Dead Man Walking: Still be awake when everyone else is beginning to wake up
Dead Man Walking: Still be awake when everyone else is beginning to wake up
These are equivalent to that game where you got achievements for getting to the game menu
edit: ah shesh, guess who's internet connection fucked up
YES THAT
Went to a CS:S lan for my clan once, awesome time and while one of the dudes went to get a beer I bound his left mouse button to drop weapon. He came back down and I ran up to him with my knife and he just tossed me his weapon in which I then killed him with.
Yes it felt good
Madness! O_o
This sounds like the most awesome thing.
As a former pizza dude, I will say for him, fuck you, man.
Seriously. Pizza delivery abuse is lame. We bring you food, for christ sakes.
STFU - Do not stop talking the entire round/ game.
STFU Live! - Do not stop talking the entire round/ game on Xbox Live.
Speechless - Provide a comeback online that renders it's victim completely unable to think of anything to say. Also point this out to them.
Here's a tissue - Make someone cry over the internet.
Ok, so maybe mine are mean too.
edit: Awww, there is already some called STFU. I fail.
What does "high score" mean?: Be the first to beat all players in a new game that no one has played before. (Players agree to a new game before said LAN party)
No Mouselook!?: Win a round in an FPS without using a mouse.
Never gonna give you up...: Rickroll someone.
Don't Quit Your Day Job: Sing any pop song into the microphone in a full game on Xbox Live/Playstation Network/Steam/etc.