Stranger: youre b or m
You: B or M?
Stranger:
Stranger: i asked first ;]
You: What does B mean?
You: And what does M mean?
Stranger: m or w ^^
Stranger: my fail
You: Male.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Stranger: Hi
You: so when you are pissing blood, is that considered an emergency?
You: I have a
Stranger: You have a what?
You: "friend"
You: who needs to know this
Stranger: Holy Moly! It sounds serious
You: Oh shit
You have disconnected.
You: hes pretty bad at everything
You: much like your mom
You: i mean
Stranger: he sounds like a waste of space
You: give her some lessons
You: she cant suck for crack
Stranger: who is your mom?
Stranger: FUCKING YANK, IT'S MUM NOT MOM
You: i have no mother
Stranger: your mother is a dragonfly
You: are you fucktoothed eurogarbage?
Stranger: your dad is a pokemon
Stranger: together ur mum and dad created u... Picafly
You: wait
You: so he's a pikachu?
Stranger: yeah
You: ok because you didn't specify
Stranger: i catched your dad on a game console :P
Graves on
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Snowbeati need somethingto kick this thing's ass over the lineRegistered Userregular
edited March 2009
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: vienna?
Stranger: Brother?
You: BROTHER!
Stranger: I am not your brother.
Stranger: I am looking for my brother.
Stranger: This is Belarus.
You: this is romulus
You: have you seen my bro anywhere
Stranger: Have you seen my brother?
Stranger: No.
You: no
You: jupiter's throwing a sick kegger later
You: maybe our brothers will be there
Stranger: I see we have similar predicaments.
Stranger: Perhaps.
You: mos def brah
You: anyway I'm heading back to the cave to play some gamecube and maybe found Rome
You: talk to you later, hope you find your bro
Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: VIENNA
You: vienna
Stranger: what
You: OF COURSE
Stranger: HAHAHAHAHAHA
You: delicious
Stranger: this is the greatest day
You: yes it is
You: i wonder how many pa-ers are even doing this
Stranger: enough it seems!
You: I just had someone call me a sick fuck for mentioning the word vienna
Stranger: well
Stranger: it is pretty offensive
You: I don't know what they had against it
Stranger: some sort of bodily violation, i presume
You: maybe a forced sausage eating, or their father was kidnapped in the city
Stranger: kidnapped, forced to eat sausage upon sausage while he looked on
You: man that would be a sick ass super hero origin
Stranger: watch out, evil doers
Stranger: the sausage is on the case
You: side kick lil pickle
Stranger: all making food based puns while fighting crime
You: How would you like *shove* to soak in your own juices!?
You: 8)
Stranger: YYYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello
You: Look, let's just get this out of the way now and make everything much more comfortable moving forward.
You: I'm a robot from twenty years after your death.
Stranger: when do i die then?
You: I've come here to tell you how to avoid the plague which will sweep your people from this land.
You: Twenty years before I was made. We went over that, keep up.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Callius on
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Larlarconsecutive normal brunchesModerator, ClubPAMod Emeritus
Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: VIENNA
You: vienna
Stranger: what
You: OF COURSE
Stranger: HAHAHAHAHAHA
You: delicious
Stranger: this is the greatest day
You: yes it is
You: i wonder how many pa-ers are even doing this
Stranger: enough it seems!
You: I just had someone call me a sick fuck for mentioning the word vienna
Stranger: well
Stranger: it is pretty offensive
You: I don't know what they had against it
Stranger: some sort of bodily violation, i presume
You: maybe a forced sausage eating, or their father was kidnapped in the city
Stranger: kidnapped, forced to eat sausage upon sausage while he looked on
You: man that would be a sick ass super hero origin
Stranger: watch out, evil doers
Stranger: the sausage is on the case
You: side kick lil pickle
Stranger: all making food based puns while fighting crime
You: How would you like *shove* to soak in your own juices!?
You: 8)
Stranger: YYYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
h5
crwth on
0
Options
Larlarconsecutive normal brunchesModerator, ClubPAMod Emeritus
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello
You: Look, let's just get this out of the way now and make everything much more comfortable moving forward.
You: I'm a robot from twenty years after your death.
Stranger: when do i die then?
You: I've come here to tell you how to avoid the plague which will sweep your people from this land.
You: Twenty years before I was made. We went over that, keep up.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Mine eyes have seen the coming of the glory of the lord. Repent now and give your soul over to the Reverend so that he may reserve your place amongst the angels. Bend yourself over and take it for the Lord, opening yourself up to his throbbing wisdom and pulsating faith.
You may only find salvation on your knees before He who would open your mind and open your throat. So sing his praises and drop ye pants!
Stranger: who the
You: VIENNA!
Stranger: I hate jesus
Stranger: FUCK U
You: Yea well, he hates you too, pal
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Vienna?
Stranger: hai
Stranger: sausage?
You: salutations
You: nevermind
Stranger: daddy would you like some sausage?
You: no
Stranger: why not
You: I am full
Stranger: of sausage?
You: no i had a hearty breakfast
You: and it was a balanced one at that
Stranger: mcdonalds?
Stranger: or crack?
You: both
You: see
You: thats how they get ya
You: they are all
Stranger: with the morning 40?
You: crack or mcydees
You: but you dont have to choose
You: i had an iced tea
You: it was raspberry
Stranger: psht
Stranger: i asked em to make me smile, so the black girl gave me a bj
Stranger: shit was so cash
You: oh shit that sounds pretty cash alright
You have disconnected.
You: VIENNA
Stranger: wat
You: dammit
You: nobody ever knows
Stranger: like...Vienna beef and sausage? the food you see vendors sell on the streets?
Stranger: haha
You: that uh
You: wasn't that funny, champ
Stranger: O RLY FGT?!
there are some fucking wierdos, on here, let me tell you.
Stranger: Hi
You: hi. vienna?
Stranger: Napalm Beach, CA
You: oh, sorry. i have a bet with my firend that i'll get someone from vienna on this thing
You: how's napalm beach? that's name that tempts fate, don't you think?
Stranger: No, every hear of Bony worshipping?
You: no, what's that
Stranger: the worship of an elite breed of sogs
Stranger: check them out on facebook
Stranger: dogs, not sogs
You: really. i'll do that. facebook dog worshippers.
You: that comes off as snide, but i'm actually really interested
You: tell me more
Stranger: I figure most people would
Stranger: not much to tell, pictures of Bony go up, people worship them, that's about it
You: sweet. is there, like, a reference system? do you get points if i mention your name?
Stranger: I have no name
You: that's got to be awkward at team-building exercises
You: how do your coworkers know to tell you when to guard their flanks?
Stranger: I am not a member of a team
Stranger: I work for no man
You: so you're a single dog worshipper, then.
Stranger: pretty much
You: seems like it'd be lonely
You: and expensive
Stranger: dog worship is rather inexpensive, except for the accessories
You: i suppose. you've got to feed them, though.
You: and groom them.
You: and you'ev got to carry them to and from the grooming.
You: time is money, bro.
Stranger: why would i want to groom a picture of a dog
Stranger: it's the costumes necessary for the worship ceremony that make it expensive
You: you only worship pictures? what is this, the manson family?
You: you're like the amateur hour of cults, you realize
You: why not get an actual dog
Stranger: there is an acutal dog, but only one, thus ceremonies for worship are carried out with pictures at the branch offices
You: oh, i see. still, infrastructure upkeep's gotta be a bitch.
You: especially if none of you have names.
Stranger: eliminates the need for name tags
You: i suppose. that would be a considerable savings branch-wide
You: i wish i coudl give you my business card. i specialize in infrastructure management and consulting.
Stranger: epspecially given this market
Stranger: I'd just lose it anyway
You: dang. well, it's been nice talking.
Stranger: oh well, must go time to light the candle for the 3:00 service
You: good luck, my friend.
Stranger: if it were legal would you fuck a middle schooler?
You: vienna
You: oh
You: uhm
You: prooobably not
You: unless she was like
You: left back a shitload
Stranger: like what
You: i mean
You: i like my girls more mature
You: in the boob area
You: and in the hips area
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
You: OK GOOD MY G KEY WORKS
You: I WAS REALLY WORRIED FOR A SECOND THERE
Stranger: sweet
You: DOES YOUR G KEY WORK?
Stranger: no it really doesnt
Stranger: i am sad for that
Stranger: o away
Stranger: damnit
Stranger: doesnt work
You: OK I WILL TALK YOU THROUGH THIS
You: WHAT ALSO LOOKS LIKE A G
Stranger: sweet
You: MAYBE IF YOU TYPE AN O AND A Q REALLY QUICK
Stranger: are you tryin to scream?
You: IT WILL LOOK LIKE A STRANGE G
You: SCREAM WHAT DO YOU MEAN
You: CAPSLOCK IS AWESOME MAN
You: NOW
You: OK
You: TEST YOUR G KEY
Stranger: yes but in my head i read as screamin
You: OH SORRY
Stranger: oq
Stranger: nope
You: DAMMIT
You: I AM TOTALLY OUT OF IDEAS
You: UHHH
You: HOW ABOUT USING THE NUMBER 9
Stranger: 9
You: THAT IS LIKE A LOWER CASE G THAT IS JUMPING UP
Stranger: yea that works
You: IS THERE SUCH A THING AS A LOWER CASE 9
You: BECAUSE I THINK MINE IS UPPERCASE
Stranger: uh
Stranger: there should be
You: SEE OUR DISCUSSION RE: CAPS LOCK
Stranger: haha
You: I WILL HAVE AN ANNOTATED COPY SENT TO YOUR DESK
You: HHHHHHHHHHH
You: OH MAN I WAS FREAKING OU
You: I THOUGHT MY H KEY DIDNT WORK
You: OH NO
You: DID YOU SEE THAT
You: I LOST A T THERE
You: TTTTTTTTTT
You: CRISIS AVOIDED.
You: MAN THIS TYPING SHIT IS BLOWING MY MIND
You: I BET THIS IS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO WRITE ON A TYPEWRITER THAT IS REALLY FORGIVING ABOUT MISTAKES
You: BUT THE DOWNSIDE IS
Stranger: i think you mi9ht need a new keyboard
You: NO LOWER CASE
You: YOU MEAN TYPEWRITER
Stranger: that would be sweet
You: ITS COOL, I GET THEM CONFUSED TOO
You: I TRIED TO QUAKE ON MY TYPEWRITER
Stranger: hooking up a typewriter to ao comp would be sweet
You: I WAS TRYING TO ROCKET JUMP AND I WAS ALL
You: OMG WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
You: IM GOING TO FRAG THIS DUDE
You: WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
You: DING
You: FUCK
You: IM OUT OF RUNNING
Stranger: doesnt a type writer get jammed if you press down more than one key?
You: TOTALLY
Stranger: no runnin and jumpin
You: AND THEN RANDOMLY
Stranger: not ood
You: IT JUST HAS A BELL GO OFF
You: SHIT IS CRAZY
You: IT GAVE ME AN IDEA FOR A NEW INDY GAME
You: JONNY MC I CANT RUN VERY FAR BECAUSE A BELL GOES OFF AND STOPS ME
Stranger: sounds epic
You: ITS LIKE BRAID BUT TERRIBLE
You: SO ITS JUST LIKE BRAID
Stranger: couldnt a9ree more
You: AWESOME YOU CAN BE MY BUSINESS PARTNER IF YOU GET YOUR G KEY ISSUES HANDLED
You: WRITING CODE WITHOUT A G KEY WOULD BE CRAZY
You: YOU COULD NEVER USE THE GET FUNCTION
You: BUT IF YOU COULD MAKE A GAME DOING THAT
Stranger: you could make it work
You: YOU WOULD BE A GENIUS
Stranger: only idiots use 9et
Stranger: or 9oto
You: BUT GET SET
You: YOU NEED THOSE
Stranger: in the pro9 lan9 i use i have never needed them
You: LIKE FISH NEED MOTORCYCLES
You: OK HAVE YOUR PEOPLE SEND A PROOF OF G KEY ANNOTATED AND SIGNED BY A LEGAL OFFICAL
Stranger: will do
Stranger: peace
You: I AM THINKING CAPLOCK OH GOD I THINK MY S KEY DOES NOT WORK SSSSSSSSSS OH WHEW THERE WE GO
You: FOR THE COMPANY NAME[/SPOILER]
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hiya
Stranger: sup
Stranger: asl?
You: 10/t/fiji
Stranger: lolwut?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Stranger: would you believe me if i said i was a girl?
You: would you believe me if i said i was your father?
You: i'm not saying that i am, just feeling out what our limitations are
Stranger: hah.
Stranger: well let's hope not, ay
Stranger: asl?
You: 21/f/canada
You: ?you
Stranger: 16/f/jakarta
You: where's jakarta?
You: vienna?
Stranger: and they say there's not alot of females here.
Stranger: indonesia
Stranger: other side of the world.
Stranger: :P
You: oh, that's pretty cool.
You: hah, i wasn't even close
Stranger: haha nope
You: how's jakarta today? what is it, like 3 am th ere?
Stranger: oh hey, you're the fifth female i found in the past 5 hours on here
Stranger: haha
Stranger: yea it's 4am
Stranger: can't sleep
You: shiiiit. go to bed, girl.
Stranger: yea, i gta wake up at 5 something anyway
Stranger: i won't be able to get up if i sleep now
You: fuck. take a 20min nap or something
Stranger: in the car. lots of traffic in jakarta.
You: you'll feel better, i promise
Stranger: actually my laptop's battery is down to 3% so i think it's telling me to sleep anyway
Stranger: hahhaha
You: go for it. godspeed
Stranger: nice talking to ya
Stranger: take it easy
You: likewise. sleep well
Stranger: i think i'll go read a book
You: is it ayn rand
You: don't read ayn rand
Stranger: i just finished her
Stranger: i like Ayn
Stranger: maybe a little thoreau will entertain me
You: WAIT
You: read some joyce
Stranger: for what?
You: read his letters to his wife
Stranger: i don't have a copy available
You: they're on the internet
Stranger: i'd have to go to the library
Stranger: where on the internet?
You: just use google
You: search
You: joyce barnacle letters
Stranger: ok, will do
Stranger: hello friend
You: Vienna
Stranger: ahhh
Stranger: music captial of the world
Stranger: good old vienna
You: I like ham. Do you like ham?
Stranger: HELL NO
Stranger: i hate ham
You: WHAT???
Stranger: i like turkey tho
Stranger: ham
Stranger: s gross dude
You: What the hell is wrong with you?
Stranger: nothing
You: How can you not like ham? Are you a commie?
Stranger: i just think its gross!
Stranger: nah, I'm an american who voted for Obama
Stranger:
You: Obama is a pink commie. he will abort all your babies
You: Seriously ... not liking ham
Stranger: ummm
Stranger: i dont like steak either
Stranger: sue me?
You: omg
Stranger: or pork
Stranger: am I weird?
You: you don't like steak and dare, DARE! to call yoruself american?
Stranger: yep!
Stranger: Im a sissy boy lol
Stranger: actually not reallyt
Stranger: i just dont like dark meat
You: fuck, i am not an us citizen and i am more american than you
Stranger: really, the only meat I like is chicken, and hamburger
Stranger: lol im tellin on you!
Stranger: immigration!
You: ... you some kind of liberal? dirty steak hating liebral?
Stranger: this stranger is illegal!
Stranger: nope
Stranger: i dont have any political affiliations
Stranger: im an anarchist
Stranger: \M/
You: why did you vote for obama than? Change??? You want change? Her, take this nickle
Stranger: CHANGE
Stranger: I LIKE CHANGE
You: you know not eating dark meat and anarchy don't work well together
Stranger: nah
You: you'll be too weak to defend yourself in a survival of the fittest world
Stranger: im not weak
You: being all malnuriest
Stranger: i have muscles
Stranger: dood
You: pff, i bet you can't even press 50 lb
Stranger: pshhhh
Stranger: I can press like 200?
You: just look at your arms man, scrawny twigs
You: should be ashamed of yourself
Stranger: http://img.4chan.org/b/src/1238444798205.jpg
You: yeah, no
Stranger:
Stranger: but its awesome
You: you a btard?
Stranger: lol no
You: i bet you are. a neckbearded, meat hating commie btard
Stranger: lol no
Stranger: i hate neckbeards
Stranger: i have a soul patch
You: proof it
You: what si the manliest thing you ever did?
Stranger: marched drum corps
You: soul patches are for fags and latino gangstas
You: get a real beard. like Abe
Stranger: http://i41.tinypic.com/n31dgo.jpg
Stranger: I cant
Stranger: im blonde
Stranger: my facial hair is hard to see
You: thats not manly. i bet you're even a virgin! hah
Stranger: I am
Stranger: im only 18
Stranger: big deal!
You: yes it is a big deal. no wonder you don't like real food.
Stranger:
You: you're all confused on the inside
Stranger: well, help me hook up with a girl?
Stranger: where you from?
You: germany
Stranger: oh
Stranger: pshhh
Stranger: youre not even american?
You: didnt i say that?
Stranger: oh ya
Stranger: lol
Stranger: you did
Stranger: so are you in germany now?
You: soo, is there a girl you have a crush on?
You: yes
Stranger: yes
Stranger: my best friend
You: well, here is what you do
Stranger: Ive been her best friend for like 2 years
Stranger: known her for 4
You: you man the fuck and tell her about your feelings.
Stranger:
Stranger: how though?
Stranger: do I just say
Stranger: I LIKE YOU!
You: else you will only pine and it will eat you up from the inside
You: just tell her in your own words:
Stranger: hmmm
Stranger: I really do want to
You: that you have really grown to know and like her
Stranger: I think she likes me too
Stranger: but im so scared to ruin what we have going...
You: rule number one: ask them out! you can't get more than shot down
You: see that is bullshit
Stranger: huh?
Stranger: whats bullshit?
You: that is your inner comfort zone talking
Stranger: hey I know how I can man up enough to tell her my feelings
You: than do
Stranger: threaten me to tell her within a week
Stranger: and if I dont'
Stranger: you'll kill me and my whole family
Stranger: k?
You: sure
Stranger: its like in fight club
You: but seriously, when you have feelings for a girl, go for it. the friend zone sucks and hurts you more in the long run
Stranger: very very true
You: well, it was nice talking to you. the next time you and her are alone I want you to be honest with her. if she doesn't have to the same feelings don't despair, there are more fish in the sea as they say
Stranger: hmmm, I think ill go for it
You: and eat some ham. jesus
Stranger: thanks for the motivation dude!
You: bye
Stranger: see ya
You: vienna?
Stranger: nintendo 64444444444444
You: man superman 64 was a terrible game
Stranger: brb flyin thru radioactive green mist
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Stranger: Good afternoon, this is Microsoft Support, and my name is Chip. How can i help you today?
You: Well
You: It's about the new iMac
You: It broke when I installed a microsoft on it
Stranger: Sorry sir, what's an iMac?
You: It's a gay thing
You: don't worry about it
Stranger: I'm sorry sir, what exactly is your problem?
You: Tried to see if gay was contageous
You: it broke when I installedm icrosoft on it
Stranger: On what?
You: Now microsoft won't come out again
You: on the iMac
Stranger: What's an iMac?
You: It shows a bomb sometimes
Stranger: Do they sell that at McDonalds?
You: Othertimes it's a duck
You: Maybe
You: haven't been in a while
Stranger: Thankyou for calling Dell support.
You: VIENNA
Stranger: MILLER
Stranger: oh no sorry that's Sienna Miller
You: that's sienna, champ
You: but good try
Stranger: she's hot
You: so's your mom
You: HO HO
You: (and your sister)
You: lulz
Stranger: that's what your mom said..
Stranger: that my mom was hot..
You: um
Stranger: and I said really....
You: this is like the worst re-burn ever
Stranger: and she was like ya
You: just so you know
You: what are you like 7?
You: come now
You: this is ludicrous
Stranger: ya my mom did your mom..
Stranger: so there.
You: um
Stranger: and she did your dad
Stranger: and your sister.
You: this is seriously
You: like
You: the worst re-burn ever
You: in the history of burns
Stranger: I win though..
You: you are basically saying
You: that your mother is a bisexual slut
Stranger: you've no come back...
Stranger: ya ..
Stranger: exactly..
You: let's get this clear
You: you are saying this
You: about your own mother
Stranger: hey your mother was game for it..
You: here's the thing though
You: when you are making 'your mom' jokes
You: it is commonly accepted
Stranger: yeah?
You: to make jokes about the mother of the other party
You: not one's own mother
You: just wanting to straighten you out there, champ
Stranger: but it wasn't a joke...
Stranger: my mother is bisexual.....
You: and a slut
You: apparently
You: good heavens
You: out of all the people in the whole world
Stranger: we live in libertine comune......
You: i have been connected to the one whose mother actually fits the stereotypes
Stranger: your family come and visit all the time
You: is she also so corpulent that when she sits around the gorgeously appointed tuscan villa, she sits *around* the gorgeously appointed tuscan villa?
Stranger: high
You: so high
Stranger: higher than high
You: the highest
You: nah i'm not high right now
You: but i'm making pizza bagels
Stranger: no you're not.
You: i totally am
Stranger: I can tell by the way you type that that's a falsehood.
Stranger: The pause says it all.
You: i have a tray of them on my lap now
You: they even have sausage on em
Stranger: Nope. You'll find, my friend, that that's called "a laptop computer".
You: actually
You: i have a laptop on my desk
You: and it's hooked up to a larger monitor
You: since my desktop is fried
You: so i have dual screen action going on
You: so i can surf the web and watch videos on the large monitor
Stranger: So you're typing into a pizza bagel that's sitting on your lap. Okay.
You: and chat on the small one
You: while i eat pizza bagels
Stranger: Hmm, and you keep a lizard (monitor) ?
You: um
You: no
Stranger: What do you mean by that? chatting on the small one
You: i have 2 screens
Stranger: shower screens?
You: 2 monitors
Stranger: lizards?
You: computer monitors
Stranger: what, like robots that monitor your computers? What are you monitoring?
You: child predators
Stranger: Cool. I love the film predator. Would have loved to have seen the Predator as a child. I bet he was nimble.
Stranger: That would be a great prequel: Child Predator
You: if it bleeds we can kill it
You: but i ain't got time to bleed
Stranger: "get to the chopper"
You: good movie
You: gonna eat these pizza bagels
You: have a nice day
You have disconnected.
Graves on
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Metzger MeisterIt Gets Worsebefore it gets any better.Registered Userregular
edited March 2009
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hello
You: Hi.
You: This is the first time I haven't initiated the connection.
You: It caught me off guard.
Stranger: Congrats
You: INDEED.
Stranger: Last time someone just said Batgirl and left
You: Batgirl is pretty rad.
You: Especially when Joker shoots her and kidnaps her dad.
Stranger: She just goes on computers now, that isn't so great
You: Seriously.
You: "Oh hey I'm fucking useless who wants to hang out? No one? Alright."
Stranger: She is more useful than the hundreds of other sidekicks she has
Stranger: they just seem to die or get in the way
You: It's pretty silly. DC seems to love doing fucking awful things to their characters.
You: It's like Dick Dastardly runs the fucking company.
You: Twirlin' his mustache, killin dudes off.
You have disconnected.
Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: 4chan.org
You: you sick fuck
Stranger: i'll meet you there
You: nah
Stranger: go to random (/b/)
You: now you're going to say some incomprehensible meme and dc
You: I KNOW YOUR PLAN
Stranger: :P
Stranger: good to know there are more oldfags around
i haven't been on /b/ for longer than a minute, man these guys sure can recognize each other!
Posts
You: Vienna?
Stranger: ...no
You: oh...
You: well salutations
Stranger: mudkips?
You: YOU ARE THE SAME GUY
You have disconnected.
You: B or M?
Stranger:
Stranger: i asked first ;]
You: What does B mean?
You: And what does M mean?
Stranger: m or w ^^
Stranger: my fail
You: Male.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Facebook Zune Brutal
You: so when you are pissing blood, is that considered an emergency?
You: I have a
Stranger: You have a what?
You: "friend"
You: who needs to know this
Stranger: Holy Moly! It sounds serious
You: Oh shit
You have disconnected.
You: much like your mom
You: i mean
Stranger: he sounds like a waste of space
You: give her some lessons
You: she cant suck for crack
Stranger: who is your mom?
Stranger: FUCKING YANK, IT'S MUM NOT MOM
You: i have no mother
Stranger: your mother is a dragonfly
You: are you fucktoothed eurogarbage?
Stranger: your dad is a pokemon
Stranger: together ur mum and dad created u... Picafly
You: wait
You: so he's a pikachu?
Stranger: yeah
You: ok because you didn't specify
Stranger: i catched your dad on a game console :P
You: vienna?
Stranger: Brother?
You: BROTHER!
Stranger: I am not your brother.
Stranger: I am looking for my brother.
Stranger: This is Belarus.
You: this is romulus
You: have you seen my bro anywhere
Stranger: Have you seen my brother?
Stranger: No.
You: no
You: jupiter's throwing a sick kegger later
You: maybe our brothers will be there
Stranger: I see we have similar predicaments.
Stranger: Perhaps.
You: mos def brah
You: anyway I'm heading back to the cave to play some gamecube and maybe found Rome
You: talk to you later, hope you find your bro
Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: VIENNA
You: vienna
Stranger: what
You: OF COURSE
Stranger: HAHAHAHAHAHA
You: delicious
Stranger: this is the greatest day
You: yes it is
You: i wonder how many pa-ers are even doing this
Stranger: enough it seems!
You: I just had someone call me a sick fuck for mentioning the word vienna
Stranger: well
Stranger: it is pretty offensive
You: I don't know what they had against it
Stranger: some sort of bodily violation, i presume
You: maybe a forced sausage eating, or their father was kidnapped in the city
Stranger: kidnapped, forced to eat sausage upon sausage while he looked on
You: man that would be a sick ass super hero origin
Stranger: watch out, evil doers
Stranger: the sausage is on the case
You: side kick lil pickle
Stranger: all making food based puns while fighting crime
You: How would you like *shove* to soak in your own juices!?
You: 8)
Stranger: YYYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
Stranger: hello
You: Look, let's just get this out of the way now and make everything much more comfortable moving forward.
You: I'm a robot from twenty years after your death.
Stranger: when do i die then?
You: I've come here to tell you how to avoid the plague which will sweep your people from this land.
You: Twenty years before I was made. We went over that, keep up.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
who knew he could be such a responsible chatlog stud
h5
god damn that could have been so great
You: Mine eyes have seen the coming of the glory of the lord. Repent now and give your soul over to the Reverend so that he may reserve your place amongst the angels. Bend yourself over and take it for the Lord, opening yourself up to his throbbing wisdom and pulsating faith.
You may only find salvation on your knees before He who would open your mind and open your throat. So sing his praises and drop ye pants!
Stranger: who the
You: VIENNA!
Stranger: I hate jesus
Stranger: FUCK U
You: Yea well, he hates you too, pal
You: Vienna?
Stranger: hai
Stranger: sausage?
You: salutations
You: nevermind
Stranger: daddy would you like some sausage?
You: no
Stranger: why not
You: I am full
Stranger: of sausage?
You: no i had a hearty breakfast
You: and it was a balanced one at that
Stranger: mcdonalds?
Stranger: or crack?
You: both
You: see
You: thats how they get ya
You: they are all
Stranger: with the morning 40?
You: crack or mcydees
You: but you dont have to choose
You: i had an iced tea
You: it was raspberry
Stranger: psht
Stranger: i asked em to make me smile, so the black girl gave me a bj
Stranger: shit was so cash
You: oh shit that sounds pretty cash alright
You have disconnected.
Stranger: wat
You: dammit
You: nobody ever knows
Stranger: like...Vienna beef and sausage? the food you see vendors sell on the streets?
Stranger: haha
You: that uh
You: wasn't that funny, champ
Stranger: O RLY FGT?!
You: hi. vienna?
Stranger: Napalm Beach, CA
You: oh, sorry. i have a bet with my firend that i'll get someone from vienna on this thing
You: how's napalm beach? that's name that tempts fate, don't you think?
Stranger: No, every hear of Bony worshipping?
You: no, what's that
Stranger: the worship of an elite breed of sogs
Stranger: check them out on facebook
Stranger: dogs, not sogs
You: really. i'll do that. facebook dog worshippers.
You: that comes off as snide, but i'm actually really interested
You: tell me more
Stranger: I figure most people would
Stranger: not much to tell, pictures of Bony go up, people worship them, that's about it
You: sweet. is there, like, a reference system? do you get points if i mention your name?
Stranger: I have no name
You: that's got to be awkward at team-building exercises
You: how do your coworkers know to tell you when to guard their flanks?
Stranger: I am not a member of a team
Stranger: I work for no man
You: so you're a single dog worshipper, then.
Stranger: pretty much
You: seems like it'd be lonely
You: and expensive
Stranger: dog worship is rather inexpensive, except for the accessories
You: i suppose. you've got to feed them, though.
You: and groom them.
You: and you'ev got to carry them to and from the grooming.
You: time is money, bro.
Stranger: why would i want to groom a picture of a dog
Stranger: it's the costumes necessary for the worship ceremony that make it expensive
You: you only worship pictures? what is this, the manson family?
You: you're like the amateur hour of cults, you realize
You: why not get an actual dog
Stranger: there is an acutal dog, but only one, thus ceremonies for worship are carried out with pictures at the branch offices
You: oh, i see. still, infrastructure upkeep's gotta be a bitch.
You: especially if none of you have names.
Stranger: eliminates the need for name tags
You: i suppose. that would be a considerable savings branch-wide
You: i wish i coudl give you my business card. i specialize in infrastructure management and consulting.
Stranger: epspecially given this market
Stranger: I'd just lose it anyway
You: dang. well, it's been nice talking.
Stranger: oh well, must go time to light the candle for the 3:00 service
You: good luck, my friend.
The Bony Cult
You: vienna
You: oh
You: uhm
You: prooobably not
You: unless she was like
You: left back a shitload
Stranger: like what
You: i mean
You: i like my girls more mature
You: in the boob area
You: and in the hips area
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
You: OK GOOD MY G KEY WORKS
You: I WAS REALLY WORRIED FOR A SECOND THERE
Stranger: sweet
You: DOES YOUR G KEY WORK?
Stranger: no it really doesnt
Stranger: i am sad for that
Stranger: o away
Stranger: damnit
Stranger: doesnt work
You: OK I WILL TALK YOU THROUGH THIS
You: WHAT ALSO LOOKS LIKE A G
Stranger: sweet
You: MAYBE IF YOU TYPE AN O AND A Q REALLY QUICK
Stranger: are you tryin to scream?
You: IT WILL LOOK LIKE A STRANGE G
You: SCREAM WHAT DO YOU MEAN
You: CAPSLOCK IS AWESOME MAN
You: NOW
You: OK
You: TEST YOUR G KEY
Stranger: yes but in my head i read as screamin
You: OH SORRY
Stranger: oq
Stranger: nope
You: DAMMIT
You: I AM TOTALLY OUT OF IDEAS
You: UHHH
You: HOW ABOUT USING THE NUMBER 9
Stranger: 9
You: THAT IS LIKE A LOWER CASE G THAT IS JUMPING UP
Stranger: yea that works
You: IS THERE SUCH A THING AS A LOWER CASE 9
You: BECAUSE I THINK MINE IS UPPERCASE
Stranger: uh
Stranger: there should be
You: SEE OUR DISCUSSION RE: CAPS LOCK
Stranger: haha
You: I WILL HAVE AN ANNOTATED COPY SENT TO YOUR DESK
You: HHHHHHHHHHH
You: OH MAN I WAS FREAKING OU
You: I THOUGHT MY H KEY DIDNT WORK
You: OH NO
You: DID YOU SEE THAT
You: I LOST A T THERE
You: TTTTTTTTTT
You: CRISIS AVOIDED.
You: MAN THIS TYPING SHIT IS BLOWING MY MIND
You: I BET THIS IS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO WRITE ON A TYPEWRITER THAT IS REALLY FORGIVING ABOUT MISTAKES
You: BUT THE DOWNSIDE IS
Stranger: i think you mi9ht need a new keyboard
You: NO LOWER CASE
You: YOU MEAN TYPEWRITER
Stranger: that would be sweet
You: ITS COOL, I GET THEM CONFUSED TOO
You: I TRIED TO QUAKE ON MY TYPEWRITER
Stranger: hooking up a typewriter to ao comp would be sweet
You: I WAS TRYING TO ROCKET JUMP AND I WAS ALL
You: OMG WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
You: IM GOING TO FRAG THIS DUDE
You: WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
You: DING
You: FUCK
You: IM OUT OF RUNNING
Stranger: doesnt a type writer get jammed if you press down more than one key?
You: TOTALLY
Stranger: no runnin and jumpin
You: AND THEN RANDOMLY
Stranger: not ood
You: IT JUST HAS A BELL GO OFF
You: SHIT IS CRAZY
You: IT GAVE ME AN IDEA FOR A NEW INDY GAME
You: JONNY MC I CANT RUN VERY FAR BECAUSE A BELL GOES OFF AND STOPS ME
Stranger: sounds epic
You: ITS LIKE BRAID BUT TERRIBLE
You: SO ITS JUST LIKE BRAID
Stranger: couldnt a9ree more
You: AWESOME YOU CAN BE MY BUSINESS PARTNER IF YOU GET YOUR G KEY ISSUES HANDLED
You: WRITING CODE WITHOUT A G KEY WOULD BE CRAZY
You: YOU COULD NEVER USE THE GET FUNCTION
You: BUT IF YOU COULD MAKE A GAME DOING THAT
Stranger: you could make it work
You: YOU WOULD BE A GENIUS
Stranger: only idiots use 9et
Stranger: or 9oto
You: BUT GET SET
You: YOU NEED THOSE
Stranger: in the pro9 lan9 i use i have never needed them
You: LIKE FISH NEED MOTORCYCLES
You: OK HAVE YOUR PEOPLE SEND A PROOF OF G KEY ANNOTATED AND SIGNED BY A LEGAL OFFICAL
Stranger: will do
Stranger: peace
You: I AM THINKING CAPLOCK OH GOD I THINK MY S KEY DOES NOT WORK SSSSSSSSSS OH WHEW THERE WE GO
You: FOR THE COMPANY NAME[/SPOILER]
You: hiya
Stranger: sup
Stranger: asl?
You: 10/t/fiji
Stranger: lolwut?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
man that is a great question
You: would you believe me if i said i was your father?
You: i'm not saying that i am, just feeling out what our limitations are
Stranger: hah.
Stranger: well let's hope not, ay
Stranger: asl?
You: 21/f/canada
You: ?you
Stranger: 16/f/jakarta
You: where's jakarta?
You: vienna?
Stranger: and they say there's not alot of females here.
Stranger: indonesia
Stranger: other side of the world.
Stranger: :P
You: oh, that's pretty cool.
You: hah, i wasn't even close
Stranger: haha nope
You: how's jakarta today? what is it, like 3 am th ere?
Stranger: oh hey, you're the fifth female i found in the past 5 hours on here
Stranger: haha
Stranger: yea it's 4am
Stranger: can't sleep
You: shiiiit. go to bed, girl.
Stranger: yea, i gta wake up at 5 something anyway
Stranger: i won't be able to get up if i sleep now
You: fuck. take a 20min nap or something
Stranger: in the car. lots of traffic in jakarta.
You: you'll feel better, i promise
Stranger: actually my laptop's battery is down to 3% so i think it's telling me to sleep anyway
Stranger: hahhaha
You: go for it. godspeed
Stranger: nice talking to ya
Stranger:
You: likewise. sleep well
You: is it ayn rand
You: don't read ayn rand
Stranger: i just finished her
Stranger: i like Ayn
Stranger: maybe a little thoreau will entertain me
You: WAIT
You: read some joyce
Stranger: for what?
You: read his letters to his wife
Stranger: i don't have a copy available
You: they're on the internet
Stranger: i'd have to go to the library
Stranger: where on the internet?
You: just use google
You: search
You: joyce barnacle letters
Stranger: ok, will do
uh oh
You: Vienna
Stranger: ahhh
Stranger: music captial of the world
Stranger: good old vienna
You: I like ham. Do you like ham?
Stranger: HELL NO
Stranger: i hate ham
You: WHAT???
Stranger: i like turkey tho
Stranger: ham
Stranger: s gross dude
You: What the hell is wrong with you?
Stranger: nothing
You: How can you not like ham? Are you a commie?
Stranger: i just think its gross!
Stranger: nah, I'm an american who voted for Obama
Stranger:
You: Obama is a pink commie. he will abort all your babies
You: Seriously ... not liking ham
Stranger: ummm
Stranger: i dont like steak either
Stranger: sue me?
You: omg
Stranger: or pork
Stranger: am I weird?
You: you don't like steak and dare, DARE! to call yoruself american?
Stranger: yep!
Stranger: Im a sissy boy lol
Stranger: actually not reallyt
Stranger: i just dont like dark meat
You: fuck, i am not an us citizen and i am more american than you
Stranger: really, the only meat I like is chicken, and hamburger
Stranger: lol im tellin on you!
Stranger: immigration!
You: ... you some kind of liberal? dirty steak hating liebral?
Stranger: this stranger is illegal!
Stranger: nope
Stranger: i dont have any political affiliations
Stranger: im an anarchist
Stranger: \M/
You: why did you vote for obama than? Change??? You want change? Her, take this nickle
Stranger: CHANGE
Stranger: I LIKE CHANGE
You: you know not eating dark meat and anarchy don't work well together
Stranger: nah
You: you'll be too weak to defend yourself in a survival of the fittest world
Stranger: im not weak
You: being all malnuriest
Stranger: i have muscles
Stranger: dood
You: pff, i bet you can't even press 50 lb
Stranger: pshhhh
Stranger: I can press like 200?
You: just look at your arms man, scrawny twigs
You: should be ashamed of yourself
Stranger: http://img.4chan.org/b/src/1238444798205.jpg
You: yeah, no
Stranger:
Stranger: but its awesome
You: you a btard?
Stranger: lol no
You: i bet you are. a neckbearded, meat hating commie btard
Stranger: lol no
Stranger: i hate neckbeards
Stranger: i have a soul patch
You: proof it
You: what si the manliest thing you ever did?
Stranger: marched drum corps
You: soul patches are for fags and latino gangstas
You: get a real beard. like Abe
Stranger: http://i41.tinypic.com/n31dgo.jpg
Stranger: I cant
Stranger: im blonde
Stranger: my facial hair is hard to see
You: thats not manly. i bet you're even a virgin! hah
Stranger: I am
Stranger: im only 18
Stranger: big deal!
You: yes it is a big deal. no wonder you don't like real food.
Stranger:
You: you're all confused on the inside
Stranger: well, help me hook up with a girl?
Stranger: where you from?
You: germany
Stranger: oh
Stranger: pshhh
Stranger: youre not even american?
You: didnt i say that?
Stranger: oh ya
Stranger: lol
Stranger: you did
Stranger: so are you in germany now?
You: soo, is there a girl you have a crush on?
You: yes
Stranger: yes
Stranger: my best friend
You: well, here is what you do
Stranger: Ive been her best friend for like 2 years
Stranger: known her for 4
You: you man the fuck and tell her about your feelings.
Stranger:
Stranger: how though?
Stranger: do I just say
Stranger: I LIKE YOU!
You: else you will only pine and it will eat you up from the inside
You: just tell her in your own words:
Stranger: hmmm
Stranger: I really do want to
You: that you have really grown to know and like her
Stranger: I think she likes me too
Stranger: but im so scared to ruin what we have going...
You: rule number one: ask them out! you can't get more than shot down
You: see that is bullshit
Stranger: huh?
Stranger: whats bullshit?
You: that is your inner comfort zone talking
Stranger: hey I know how I can man up enough to tell her my feelings
You: than do
Stranger: threaten me to tell her within a week
Stranger: and if I dont'
Stranger: you'll kill me and my whole family
Stranger: k?
You: sure
Stranger: its like in fight club
You: but seriously, when you have feelings for a girl, go for it. the friend zone sucks and hurts you more in the long run
Stranger: very very true
You: well, it was nice talking to you. the next time you and her are alone I want you to be honest with her. if she doesn't have to the same feelings don't despair, there are more fish in the sea as they say
Stranger: hmmm, I think ill go for it
You: and eat some ham. jesus
Stranger: thanks for the motivation dude!
You: bye
Stranger: see ya
Stranger: nintendo 64444444444444
You: man superman 64 was a terrible game
Stranger: brb flyin thru radioactive green mist
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
edit: I typed lmao here out of habit, I'm quite glad that no one uses chatspeak
I suck at this
Stranger: NO
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
aight man
Stranger: MILLER
Stranger: oh no sorry that's Sienna Miller
You: that's sienna, champ
You: but good try
Stranger: she's hot
You: so's your mom
You: HO HO
You: (and your sister)
You: lulz
Stranger: that's what your mom said..
Stranger: that my mom was hot..
You: um
Stranger: and I said really....
You: this is like the worst re-burn ever
Stranger: and she was like ya
You: just so you know
You: what are you like 7?
You: come now
You: this is ludicrous
Stranger: ya my mom did your mom..
Stranger: so there.
You: um
Stranger: and she did your dad
Stranger: and your sister.
You: this is seriously
You: like
You: the worst re-burn ever
You: in the history of burns
Stranger: I win though..
You: you are basically saying
You: that your mother is a bisexual slut
Stranger: you've no come back...
Stranger: ya ..
Stranger: exactly..
You: let's get this clear
You: you are saying this
You: about your own mother
Stranger: hey your mother was game for it..
You: here's the thing though
You: when you are making 'your mom' jokes
You: it is commonly accepted
Stranger: yeah?
You: to make jokes about the mother of the other party
You: not one's own mother
You: just wanting to straighten you out there, champ
Stranger: but it wasn't a joke...
Stranger: my mother is bisexual.....
You: and a slut
You: apparently
You: good heavens
You: out of all the people in the whole world
Stranger: we live in libertine comune......
You: i have been connected to the one whose mother actually fits the stereotypes
Stranger: your family come and visit all the time
You: is she also so corpulent that when she sits around the gorgeously appointed tuscan villa, she sits *around* the gorgeously appointed tuscan villa?
Maybe he's gotten that from like 10 other forumers already
You: so high
Stranger: higher than high
You: the highest
You: nah i'm not high right now
You: but i'm making pizza bagels
Stranger: no you're not.
You: i totally am
Stranger: I can tell by the way you type that that's a falsehood.
Stranger: The pause says it all.
You: i have a tray of them on my lap now
You: they even have sausage on em
Stranger: Nope. You'll find, my friend, that that's called "a laptop computer".
You: actually
You: i have a laptop on my desk
You: and it's hooked up to a larger monitor
You: since my desktop is fried
You: so i have dual screen action going on
You: so i can surf the web and watch videos on the large monitor
Stranger: So you're typing into a pizza bagel that's sitting on your lap. Okay.
You: and chat on the small one
You: while i eat pizza bagels
Stranger: Hmm, and you keep a lizard (monitor) ?
You: um
You: no
Stranger: What do you mean by that? chatting on the small one
You: i have 2 screens
Stranger: shower screens?
You: 2 monitors
Stranger: lizards?
You: computer monitors
Stranger: what, like robots that monitor your computers? What are you monitoring?
You: child predators
Stranger: Cool. I love the film predator. Would have loved to have seen the Predator as a child. I bet he was nimble.
Stranger: That would be a great prequel: Child Predator
You: if it bleeds we can kill it
You: but i ain't got time to bleed
Stranger: "get to the chopper"
You: good movie
You: gonna eat these pizza bagels
You: have a nice day
You have disconnected.
Stranger: Hello
You: Hi.
You: This is the first time I haven't initiated the connection.
You: It caught me off guard.
Stranger: Congrats
You: INDEED.
Stranger: Last time someone just said Batgirl and left
You: Batgirl is pretty rad.
You: Especially when Joker shoots her and kidnaps her dad.
Stranger: She just goes on computers now, that isn't so great
You: Seriously.
You: "Oh hey I'm fucking useless who wants to hang out? No one? Alright."
Stranger: She is more useful than the hundreds of other sidekicks she has
Stranger: they just seem to die or get in the way
You: It's pretty silly. DC seems to love doing fucking awful things to their characters.
You: It's like Dick Dastardly runs the fucking company.
You: Twirlin' his mustache, killin dudes off.
You have disconnected.
You: Can I kick it?
Stranger: No.
You: Damn it
You: I'll never be a killer emcee
Stranger: hahahahahaha
You: friend, and enter
Stranger: lolwut
You: it's a star wars thing
You: how are you, stranger?
Stranger: oh ahahaha
Lurkers better be recognizing Viennas
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: 4chan.org
You: you sick fuck
Stranger: i'll meet you there
You: nah
Stranger: go to random (/b/)
You: now you're going to say some incomprehensible meme and dc
You: I KNOW YOUR PLAN
Stranger: :P
Stranger: good to know there are more oldfags around
i haven't been on /b/ for longer than a minute, man these guys sure can recognize each other!
Stranger: hello
You: RETH RETH RETH
Stranger: ok
You: RETH RETH RETH
Stranger: reth?
You: RETH RETH RETH
Your conversational partner has disconnected.