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Baby Tips
Ganluan
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Registered User regular
My wife and I just had our first baby - a son. He was born a few weeks early so he is still in the hospital, but will be home in the next few days (hopefully).
Any general advice for the first few weeks with a new baby at home? It seems like everything I look at talks about strangulation hazards, even their crib/play yard/stroller, which is a bit disconcerting. My wife is also worried he'll stop breathing or choke on something, and I don't want her to feel like she has to watch him like a hawk 24/7.
I'm sure the nurses will be giving us some advice and tips when we're ready to take him home, but any other advice would be appreciated.
Any general advice for the first few weeks with a new baby at home? It seems like everything I look at talks about strangulation hazards, even their crib/play yard/stroller, which is a bit disconcerting. My wife is also worried he'll stop breathing or choke on something, and I don't want her to feel like she has to watch him like a hawk 24/7.
I'm sure the nurses will be giving us some advice and tips when we're ready to take him home, but any other advice would be appreciated.
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If his clothes don't involve ties (or cravats), and there's nothing small in the crib, you should be OK. Some people don't even put loose blankets in there, but it's not universal.
I guess just try to relax and enjoy it. Probably the only general advice is to be as interactive and play with him as much as you can. I see a big difference between my friends who interacted with their kids, and those that didn't.
But like Michael said don't worry too much about the strangulation by crib thing, that's more to cover the companies butt in case of incompetent parents. Just use common sense and you'll be fine (aka. Marbles aren't a good baby toy).
The advice my sister was given by the doctor when she had her kid: "Feed it, change it, don't drop it".
And that about sums it up.
Sorry to hear that the little man has to stay in the hospital. My first was a month early, but he's a tough bastard and got to come home. Had some jaundice though had to chill out on the baby tanning bed for a week. But I digress...
Really, just don't worry about it too much. I know that's not really possible, but it's still good advice. Remember that stupid people have kids, and their kids live. So you already have an advantage :P
We watched our first like a hawk too. Can't help it. That went away with the second.
Babies are simple things. Their main method of communication at that age is crying. They pretty much only need 3 things: food, diapers and some love. One of those three will usually make them happy.
Remember to burp him after feedings and figure out quick if he likes to puke or not. Burp cloths are your friend, your clothes will thank you.
When changing him, use the old diaper as a shield. Saves the need to duck and weave. Diaper off = cold weenie = projectile peeing.
Swaddling is good. Big thick blankets are bad. Don't let him sleep alone on anything fluffy, puffy, stringy, etc. The nurses will probably show you how to make a baby burrito with a nice thin blanket. If you fail at that, you can get a blanket-thing with a pouch and some velcro, makes it easy. They love it, makes them sleep like...yeah.
Ok, enough ranting. Remember, they do grow up, so enjoy the cute while you can, don't go crazy, and watch out for kid germs. They're the devil.
Things like cooking, cleaning, errands, bills, etc. will be very hard for you folks to keep up on - so having a friend or family member on standby is a huge boon.
It raises the risk of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome), though doing it too much can apparently turn your kid into a conehead. (Obligatory note: I AM THE LEAST DOCTORIEST PERSON THAT WAS EVER NOT A DOCTOR, SO PLZ TALK TO ONE ABOUT THIS FOR MORE INFO)
My advice? Don't be afraid to ask for help from friends and family. Sleep when the kid sleeps. Be patient with each other.
I shouldn't worry too much about choking, at least not for the first few weeks. During this period the baby is basically immobile. It won't figure out how to roll onto it's front for a few months and forget about it being able to pick things up and put them in it's mouth, not gonna happen. The only way it's going to choke in the first few weeks is if you feed it marbles.
You will basically have to watch him like a hawk 24/7 to begin with though, because he will need fed and tended to so regularly. He isn't going to be sleeping right through the night any time soon, he'll basically be on a feed/sleep/feed/sleep rotation of one or two hours to begin with. We worked out a shift system in the evenings where I would sit downstairs with ours sleeping in the pram until about 2am, bringing her up to feed when she needed and then I'd go to bed to get a few hours sleep while my wife sat up with her and then I'd get up early morning to give my wife another hour in bed. We were breast feeding, so I still had to wake my wife to feed the baby but you could bottle feed at night so as not to have to wake her. This was actually a pretty good time, because with the baby sleeping in the pram in the living room, I basically just sat and played on the xbox for a few hours each night, breaking to tend to the baby as needed.
Shouldn't you two have gone to some classes or something? Regardless, visit your local library and snag a few childcare books. Never rely on just one, and make sure they're written by actual professionals. Go online and read a few reviews before taking any of them as gospel.
The only real advice I can give is breastfed if you can - its better for baby, its better for mum, even if its just for those first few weeks, babies need all the antibodies they can get. While your baby is still in hospital, your wife could express - La Leche League will be able to help with stuff like breast pumps. If you choose to breastfeed, nappies/diapers are a bit less smelly and messy, too.
Sleep while you can!
!!!!!
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"The power of the weirdness compels me."
I think I've been reading the instructions for this Baby Bjorn all wrong!
You've been reading it upside down :P
Congratulations! Your parental instinct is going to say to watch him constantly and you probably will, but as you adjust to the sounds that your baby makes and you get acclimated to his schedule, you will find yourself getting into a routine. Speaking of routines; try to develop a simple one with him early like: bottle, bath and then crib/bassinet. He will be more comfortable when he knows what the heck is going on.
Also, this may or may not happen to you but it did me. I became a human radar with my son, every time he would cry in the middle of the night I would wake up at the first whimper. I'm sure you will do fine. Hell if I can manage to do it twice you should have no problems.
- Prepare to sleep in alternating shifts with your wife for the first 3 months. Newborns eat, potty, sleep, cry, eat, potty, sleep, cry in a fairly constant cycle, regardless of time of day;
- Have easy-to-make meals on hand;
- Try to stretch out the well-wishers and offers to help. Everyone and their Mother came by our house the first week with food and help, but after that, the help dried up fast. If you have friends who want to help, ask them to wait a few weeks so that you’re not swamped the first week ten nothing when you need it later;
- Breastfeeding is generally regarded as the best option, but it’s not always easy on your wife. Be patient, be encouraging and help support her, both emotionally and physically. While my girls wouldn’t take a bottle, be prepared to take at least one feeding at night for her to get extra sleep.
- Diapers are intimidating at first, but after a week you'll go numb to the routine. Just make sure you have all the diaper-changing implements (fresh diapers, baby wipes for baby, hand wipes for you, fresh outfits, pee shield, diaper cream, diaper pail, etc.) in one place so you don't have to look for them in a dirty diaper emergency;
- In re: Diapers, try to find a brand you like, and then stock up. We go with Target Brand Diapers, because they are a good balance between price and quality. YMMV;
- If you don't already have one, go out and buy a vibrating bouncing chair. Not only will it help soothe your child, they are portable, meaning you can take one anywhere and set your child up to sleep;
- Another must have if you can afford it is a rocking chair/recliner. I must've paced miles a night trying to comfort my girls until we got one;
Cloth diapers used for burp cloths
Washcloths for pee shields
A Boppy bouncy chair
A Boppy pillow
A jumparoo
A good carseat/stroller system (we use Chicco)
Sounds exactly like my cat. Though it's about 90% sleep, which is probably the reverse for babies.
There has been a lot of good advice given already but I'm going to just dump everything that is in my head about the first few weeks, I hope it is useful.
You/your wife are no longer the boss. Accept it. You exist solely to care for the little mewling creature you brought home. This changes over time as your son matures a little and you start to wean them from immediate attention but, for now, he is too young to be manipulative. When he cries he needs something, figure out what it is and give it to him. At a minimum, baby gets changed before every feeding. New baby poo does not stink, enjoy this while you can. If you are breast feeding he may not have a bowel movement for several days at a time, all of the nutrients are absorbed. Don't be afraid to call your pediatrician if you are worried about something, they know new parents are nervous wrecks. If your wife is breast feeding have her express extra so you can take a feeding here and there. This will give her a break and provide critical bonding time for you and your son. The importance of skin to skin contact cannot be overstated so make sure both you and your wife spend time every day holding him close. He won't be awake much at first so be sure to play with him between naps/feedings. Babies thrive on routine so set one and stick to it as closely as possible. Friends and relatives will want to stop by so use this to your advantage and charge a 'toll'. Mother-in-law wants to see her grandson? Great, but she has to do a pile of laundry while she is there, or run an errand on her way over. This will make your life much easier. You will be exhausted, starving, frazzled, angry and loving every second of it. I am sure I will come up with more but now I must go make cereal for the munchkin.
I hope this rambling is in some way helpful.
This dude's wife probably decided a long time ago whether she was going to breastfeed or not. Giving that advice after the baby's already been born is pointless and the only effect it's going to have is to possibly make the OP feel bad if his wife decided against it, or worse yet, would like to breastfeed but can't for whatever reason.
Beyond that, you aren't going to have time to worry about classical music and whether your crib is a strangulation hazard. (And if bought it anytime within the last 25 years, it's not.)
The best advice in this thread is "feed it, change it, don't drop it" and "You/your wife are no longer the boss. Accept it."
One thing I'd add is that your house is going to be a mess for a while. My daughter is 3 and our house is destroyed on a daily basis, despite our best efforts.
It's easy to tell who's actually been through having an infant and who hasn't.
We did take some classes, but it still feels like there's more to it than what they've said. We're probably just over-thinking it really. We've read a few different books and they all had different opinions (and were all written by doctors or PhDs) so that didn't help much :P
Thanks for the other tips as well!
A pack of 12-18 month baby grows won't seem like much use to you right now but in 3 months the five dozen packs of 0-3 month baby grows will seem like even less use and a year later when you're struggling for cash to buy the billion things a baby needs, discovering a fresh pack of grows can be a big bonus.
We don't know what the OP & wife decided with regards to breastfeeding/formula, because he didn't mention it in any of his posts. Let's not assume they decided for/against it.
Also, Breastfeeding is hard work. It's not as easy as attach kid to boob, rinse & repeat, especially at first. The child has to kind of learn (or re-learn, or re-adjust, depending on your point of view) how to suckle and how long, and it can be frustrating for new parents. A lot of families that give up on breastfeeding do so in the first two weeks, and when you look at the overall benefits as compared to formula (and it's been scientifically proven by a plethora of sources that breast milk has a wide variety of benefits), it's a shame.
Now, if the OP's wife can't breastfeed, that's a different story. However, there are a few ways they can still obtain breast milk for their child, but now we're veering way off-topic.
To the OP, over-thinking is par for the course. Give it a few weeks, and you'll figure out what's key and what's not. Part of being a parent is learning what works for your family and what doesn't.
Limed for truthfulness. Also, don't turn your nose up at hand-me-downs and secondhand items. Most items (like clothes) are used maybe 2-3 times before the kids outgrow them, and buying secondhand can save $$$.
Also, you will develop spider-senses. This is normal.
I think a large part of baby rearing is patience and guesswork. Generally, you find what works for you...or you don't. But hopefully you will. That's why the advice of lots of different people is useful, because it increases the chances of finding something that works for you based on what has worked for others.
Also, make a pact with your wife now. You are both going to be more tired than you can ever possibly imagine and stopping isn't an option. As such, patience will fray and tempers will rise. Acknowledge between each other now that this will happen and it's just because you're both tired, not because you don't love each other any more and to forgive and forget in advance if you get snappy with each other at 3am.
Damn...that is fucking heartbreaking. I have a 12 month old and I would absolutely flip my shit if something happened to him.
This is excellent advice. You're both only human. To top it off, Mom just dropped off something that's been growing inside of her for the better part of a year, and her hormones are running amok. Remember that if she goes a little wierd for a bit. On the same note, keep an eye out for Post- Partem Depression.
re: Cat- Yeah, those classes are not so great. It's totally 'YMMV', but I haven't heard of anyone who has found them particularly useful. The stuff people are posting here is what I wish they would have told me in those classes.
Wow. That's the stuff of nightmares right there.
Be prepared to feed/change him every 1.5-2 hours (day or night) at first. Not sure if the feeding schedule will be this rigorous as he's several weeks old already? The periods lengthen as he matures.
It's natural to be vigilant; I still sometimes check when he's asleep to see if he's breathing and he's 9.5 months.
If your wife plans to breast feed, definitely look into a pump, as it lets you feed baby and let mom sleep sometimes. Feeding the baby is cool.
I asked our our pediatrician about crying, fever, not pooping, etc., when to be concerned really, and he gave us only one rule really: if he's uninterested in food for two feedings or more then call us. When you go to ped's appointments (and I recommend you also going for the first few) be sure to ask all your questions until you're satisfied you know what to do/look for.
It was helpful to us to setup a baby-changing station (we have 2) that houses clothes, wipes, diapers, a trashcan or hamper/bag for dirty nappies, etc..
If you're an active couple (not homebodies/couch potatoes), then start taking baby with you as soon as you're comfortable with it. It's going to be a lot bigger deal to take him out with you when he's self-mobile and babbling.
If mom was taking pre-natal vitamins it might be a good thing for her to keep taking them for awhile.
Get camcorder/camera now and start shooting; make time for it because they grow fast.
http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200904/case-against-breastfeeding
Semantics, but mom will still have to wake up and pump every few hours, so not total sleep. If not, it's their equivalent to blue balls, and it ain't fun.
Also, don't worry if the baby goes a few days without pooping. They consider a week to be constipation.
Right now he is being fed every 3 hours at the hospital. We haven't stayed overnight in the nursery, but we are there for hours each day and try to be there for some feedings so he gets used to us holding him while being fed, even if it's not always with a bottle yet. He seems to be really relaxed with us when compared to being in his "bed", which is nice!
We already have an automated swing based on recommendations, so we're good to go there. We will definitely be doing a baby-proofing run soon before he gets up and starts moving around. We've gotten plenty of hand-me-down clothes along with plenty of gifts... we haven't bought any ourselves and I'm pretty sure he won't be able to wear them all :P
Babies cry and all that, but make sure you keep a weather eye out for signs of discomfort around feeding time stemming from whatever formula is being used. My youngest had a hard time with milk based formula so we had to switch to soy.