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I need the most bestest cover letter & resume

FellhandFellhand Registered User regular
edited December 2006 in Help / Advice Forum
I am finally sick of my job as a computer tech for the local school district.
I have a BSEE and there are a few local firms that have openings that are perfect for me. Sadly, I lack the skill to be impressive in a cover letter (not title of thread bad, but I never seem to get call backs) and I always think my resume could be better. Please help me out.

Fellhand on

Posts

  • InvisibleInvisible Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Maybe you could post your cover letter and an example of your resume (just change the personal info)? It would certainly be easier for us to see what you're doing right and wrong and what you could do better.

    Invisible on
  • freekfreek Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Don't know whether you're comfortable with it or not, but we might be able to help more if you posted what you have. Omit things like address and last name for us.

    Other than that, the only tips I have are to be honest and keep it simple.

    freek on
  • FellhandFellhand Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Here's what I have so far for a cover letter and resume:

    HR Department/Hiring Manager: Logic Supply
    RE: Computer Technician, Job ID: 49690884

    I am contacting you today regarding the position of Computer Technician that was recently posted on Monster.com. The two areas that were most appealing to me about the job posting were first, the prospect of working with mini-ITX motherboards and second, your relocation to Burlington in 2007.

    Based on my skill set, I believe I am an ideal candidate for this position. Since 2003 I have been expertly assembling computer systems professionally for users from the very basic to complex. My project management and implementation skills are peerless as is my ability to work with little to no supervision while producing excellent results. Considering the vast levels of experience my current users have I am able to communicate clearly and in a friendly and casual manner with my users. I take pride in making sure that my current users and co-workers are always satisfied with my service, skill and professionalism.
    The enclosed resume provides more details on the skills I have touched on above, as well my other experience, skills, and abilities.

    In researching your company I came across a page on www.resellerratings.com and I was extremely impressed with the level of feedback that the average user gives Logic Supply. This is the kind of company that I want to work for, one that takes each customer, from the single household to the government installation, as a valued customer toward building the future of the company.

    I think we could both benefit from a meeting to talk about this opportunity in more detail. I would really like to follow up within the next week to discuss your thoughts. In the meantime, please do not hesitate to call me at (my cell phone) with any questions. Thank you for your time and consideration!

    Sincerely,
    Fellhand

    This is intended for Thanatos Edit: Hyperlink, dammit. No H-scroll raping, please.

    My resume is being updated, but here is the most recent one I had from February:

    RESUME

    Fellhand
    Address goes here
    Email Address
    Telephone


    EDUCATION
    Clarkson University, Potsdam NY
    Bachelor of Science, Electrical Engineering
    Graduated May 2003

    PRESENT WORK EXPERIENCE

    Sept. 2003-Present
    Computer Technician Addison Central Supervisory Union, Middlebury

    Supporting multiple OS, WAN, LAN for Bridport Central School, Hannaford Career Center, and the ACSU Central Office. One-on-one, hands-on support and training for hardware and software throughout the school district. Identifying and critical service issues, address day-to-day network, and desktop services. Function as part of a team and independently. Manage systems critical to technical initiatives, perform and provide documentation, and assist team in conducting risk analysis of high stakes projects. Independently research and solve problem, as well as maintain focus on teamwork in terms of research, project management, flexibility, amount of training and type, triage process, documentation skills- visual text, vendor negotiation/purchasing (government contracts).

    PAST WORK EXPERIENCE

    July-Sept. 2003
    Personal Assistant Computer Service and Repair Center, Inc., Middlebury

    Scheduled service work for clients’ PCs, provided technical support for software and hardware problems via phone, identified and explained problems for clients. Also responsible for billing and maintaining store records.

    SKILLS

     Certified Intern Engineer in the state of New York
     Experienced in design strategies and techniques for digital and analog circuits
     Proficient in: MS Server 2003, Windows XP
     Software: VHDL, PSPICE, MATLAB, MS Office


    I see already I need to focus more on my leet skills.

    Fellhand on
  • blanknogoblanknogo Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Here's an important point to remember: people who look through resumes will look through piles of them at a time. What makes your stand out?

    First of all: Your work experience is in paragraph form. That's really hard to read, and I can see you have a lot of good skills in there that people look for (project management is great, etc). Don't bury it in a paragraph, use bullet form points to make the reader aware of what you're selling.

    Secondly, make your experience come alive. "Project management" is a great skill set. But what does that mean when you tell me you have it there? Tell me about how you applied it. Something like "Managed organizational system switchover consisting of xx computers" or whatever (I know that's not the best sentence) is much better. Whenever possible, be specific and give numbers. Quantify what you've accomplished.

    Going on from that point - use action words. "Project management" is nice, but it's dull. Start each point of your resume with a verb. Verbs like "manage" or "designed", and so on (I'm sure you can think of much better ones) help bring your resume to life.

    So, to summarize:
    - Don't bury your skills in paragraphs, use point forms (I bet you were more drawn towards reading this part of the post than the rest)
    - Give specific examples and quantify your accomplishments whenever possible
    - Excite with good descriptive action verbs

    I think you'll find that these few things will really bring out the life in your resume.

    blanknogo on
  • SzechuanosaurusSzechuanosaurus Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited December 2006
    Regarding the cover letter, and I think backing up some of what blanknogo said, it's too buzzwordy and long. After the second or third line I was still reading it but not really paying any attention to it.

    Like blanknogo says, they're going to be sifting through hundreds of these applications and anything that rambles on too much goes straight in the bin. I always try to keep my cover letters short and to the point, especially when sending a CV by email.

    Firstly, get the intro paragraph out of the way ASAP.
    I am contacting you today regarding the position of Computer Technician that was recently posted on Monster.com. The two areas that were most appealing to me about the job posting were first, the prospect of working with mini-ITX motherboards and second, your relocation to Burlington in 2007.

    Can be reduced to 'I saw the job of Computer Technician advertised on Monster.com and would like to apply.' I don't know if you even need the second sentence, but listing their location as one of the primary reasons for wanting to work for them doesn't exactely sell your enthusiasm. You should be giving the impression that you are prepared to commute to hell and back for this job, whereas you seem to be saying 'I'd like this job because it seems pretty convenient and I like the easy option'. Either way, I think that sort of thing would best be left for the end of the letter, as I'll explain later.

    The second paragraph is good in that it talks about you, but it should also be about what you can give to the company rather than what you gave to your last company. It also uses too many buzzwords that are ultimately meaningless through general overuse. There are two ways of improving this. One is to shorten it to bullet points as per blanknogo's suggestion for the CV to keep it short and to the point so as not to take up too much of the recruiter's time. Alternatively, restructure it as a sales pitch.

    First imagine yourself as the audience. This is the umpteenth cover letter you've read today. You don't want to have to translate a bunch of buzzwords, you want to know who this guy is and if he might be suitable for the job. You're probably getting a bit jaded and willing just to bin the remainder of the CVs and recruit from what you've read already, but you're hoping that maybe there's something in here with a bit more spark than the generic applicants churned out by the local tech college. This is the mindset they are in. This is the baggage they are carrying with them when they get to your cover letter. This is your first hurdle. This should dictate the tone of the cover letter and should always be referred back to to check that you aren't going to get dragged down with it.

    In addition to this, you keep your ultimate goal in mind - convincing them that it would be a good idea to call you in for an interview.

    Next thing to do is to catch their attention - what's in it for them? This is your opportunity to empathise with them. They don't really care about you right now, they care about themselves and what you can give them to make their life better. In the case of a job application, this is pretty easy to get. It's basically a case of reiterating the vacancy, whilst reading between the lines a bit - 'You need an applications engineer who is not only tech-savvy but can also communicate well with your clients'. These are their needs, and showing you understand them from the start helps to create a bond with them. It says, 'I know what you guys are going through, I sympathise and I'm here to help'.

    Now you need to appeal to their guiding influences. Maybe you want to suggest that hiring you will save them money (or make them more money), maybe you want to appeal to their minds by telling them what technical skills you can bring to the company or maybe you just go for their emotions by offering to lighten the burden of the daily work load. Make these points straightforward, this is you explaining what you can do essentially, so don't mask it behind big words and superlatives, give it to them straight.

    You can (and probably should for the sake of proof) follow these points up with some examples if necessary - highlight an occasion when you improved productivity or particular technology that you have been involved in or situations where you have worked with clients. Keep these brief - you've got a couple of minutes here, not a half hour - but use genuine and specific examples rather than vague, general examples. You can expand on them in more detail and fill in the blanks once you get the actual interview. 'Working on the local Aztec Inc. account, I developed a strong relationship with their IT department which ultimately led to them coming to us when they decided to upgrade their systems nationwide last Spring, resulting in a small, local maintenance account expanding into a large, nationwide collaboration' says a lot more than 'I work with clients on a daily basis and get on well with all of them' (I'm entire making up examples here as you can probably tell, I'm sure you'll be able to come up with more relevant ones).

    Do be passionate though. Superlatives and buzzwords feel hollow and insincere but passion can shine through the printed word and it will highlight to the reader that there's a genuine guy behind this who might be nice to work with rather than giving the impression that there's a boring automaton who would be hell to work with. The last two paragraphs work for this, the second last one stumbles into corporate-speak and needs to be fixed up a bit, but closing with a passionate compliment to the company , giving some reasons why you want to work there (because bear in mind up until now we've only told them why they want you to work there) and an eagerness for them to follow up is otherwise perfect. It also brings you round to the ultimate goal - convincing them to call you in for an interview.


    I should probably point out as well that the job linked appears to be for an Applications Engineer, not a Computer Technician (I think it's just the wrong job that is linked though).

    Szechuanosaurus on
  • tsmvengytsmvengy Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    The first two sentences of your cover letter are good - say what job you are applying for and why it interests you (although do you have a better reason than the location? Maybe something more specific). Usually in my cover letter I make sure to mention the skills they want (usually listed on the job postings) and WHERE I ACQUIRED THEM - saying something like "at XYZ technology, I assembled computer systems professionally for a wide variety of users." - or whatever. The cover letter should always be FORMAL - "I saw the job of Computer Technician advertised on Monster.com and would like to apply." is not OK.

    As to your resume - putting job responsibilities in paragraph form is BAD. List them as bullet points in sentence form:

    - supported multiple OS, WAN, LAN for Bridport Central School
    - one-on-one, hands on support...

    like that.

    tsmvengy on
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  • SzechuanosaurusSzechuanosaurus Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited December 2006
    tsmvengy wrote:
    The cover letter should always be FORMAL - "I saw the job of Computer Technician advertised on Monster.com and would like to apply." is not OK.

    I can never seem to get that one right. One way sounds like an eight year old writing a letter and the other sounds like a Victorian diplomat. How would you suggest you open the letter? I suppose 'Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to you in response to the advertisement for the position of Computer Technician'. It's more to the point, I suppose.

    I'm not sure that a cover letter should be overly formal either, but I suppose that depends on the industry you work in. If I send a laboriously formal cover letter to a design company they're either going to think I'm a hoity-toity nut job or taking the piss. I can see formality being important for a lawyer or a banker, but I'm not sure formality is always a good thing. Sometimes the interviewers want to see personality. Although you have to be careful not to swing the other way and come off as an illiterate moron.

    Szechuanosaurus on
  • FellhandFellhand Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    I noticed the Computer Tech/App Engineer error when I was rereading it. Thanks for pointing it out though.

    I really appreciate all these suggestions guys.

    Fellhand on
  • Sir Red of the MantiSir Red of the Manti Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Try following up on your own after about a couple days to a week. Potential employers like that as it shows initiative, and makes it seem like you're not just spamming out resumes to everyone.

    Sir Red of the Manti on
  • blanknogoblanknogo Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    tsmvengy wrote:
    The cover letter should always be FORMAL - "I saw the job of Computer Technician advertised on Monster.com and would like to apply." is not OK.

    I can never seem to get that one right. One way sounds like an eight year old writing a letter and the other sounds like a Victorian diplomat. How would you suggest you open the letter? I suppose 'Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to you in response to the advertisement for the position of Computer Technician'. It's more to the point, I suppose.

    I'm not sure that a cover letter should be overly formal either, but I suppose that depends on the industry you work in. If I send a laboriously formal cover letter to a design company they're either going to think I'm a hoity-toity nut job or taking the piss. I can see formality being important for a lawyer or a banker, but I'm not sure formality is always a good thing. Sometimes the interviewers want to see personality. Although you have to be careful not to swing the other way and come off as an illiterate moron.

    I think that really depends on the situation, and really is an area you have to employ your personal judgment. If I had previously met the person doing the hiring (which happens lots for professional jobs) I would know a bit more about their personality to make that judgment. Sometimes you know the recruiter is more laid back, more casual, and you want to gear your cover letter as such. Or sometimes you know the business is more laid back - more about being personable - then you would want to tailor it as such. I don't think theres a right or wrong with formality. You have to go with what works for you.

    The important thing to keep in mind for any resume/coverletter/interview you submit or go to is this - it is suppose to be a two way street. It's a conversation where you learn about a potential employer, and they learn about a potential employee. And the truth is, you can do something that's not you in all of these situations and get hired if you're good enough at being fake - but you'll suffer for it in the end. So make sure your resume/coverletter/interview shows off YOU - your skills, your personality, and so on. Do it well, and you'll find yourself with a great job that's perfect for you.

    blanknogo on
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