As was foretold, we've added advertisements to the forums! If you have questions, or if you encounter any bugs, please visit this thread: https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/240191/forum-advertisement-faq-and-reports-thread/

School me on the butsex

2»

Posts

  • DemerdarDemerdar Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Prepare to enjoy the smell of ass.

    Demerdar on
    y6GGs3o.gif
  • japanjapan Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    That Guy wrote: »
    Thanks for the great advice so far guys, it's been very helpful.

    One question - Where the hell am I supposed to get poppers from? Also, are they even legal in the UK right now? I know that they have been made illegal in the past, but I think that they are legal now...

    No idea about legality, but I know you can usually find them in the kind of shop that sells cannabis paraphenalia. You shouldn't need them though, unless you're planning on really rough and/or prolonged buttsex.

    japan on
  • That GuyThat Guy Registered User
    edited May 2009
    Well that was a lot of fun. Thanks for the advice guys.

    That Guy on
  • Fuzzy Cumulonimbus CloudFuzzy Cumulonimbus Cloud friend pelican soft and relaxing mouthRegistered User regular
    edited May 2009
    japan wrote: »
    That Guy wrote: »
    Thanks for the great advice so far guys, it's been very helpful.

    One question - Where the hell am I supposed to get poppers from? Also, are they even legal in the UK right now? I know that they have been made illegal in the past, but I think that they are legal now...

    No idea about legality, but I know you can usually find them in the kind of shop that sells cannabis paraphenalia. You shouldn't need them though, unless you're planning on really rough and/or prolonged buttsex.
    Uh, poppers are nitrile based and have been linked to several kinds of brain cancer. Don't use them. Please.

    Fuzzy Cumulonimbus Cloud on
    pelcan Mouth perfect size for put poster in to n\ap! inside poster sleep soundly put poster in Pelicn Mouth no problems because good Support for poster neck weak of big poster head
  • Fuzzy Cumulonimbus CloudFuzzy Cumulonimbus Cloud friend pelican soft and relaxing mouthRegistered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Well, not necessarily linked, but god why would you huff alkane derivatives

    Fuzzy Cumulonimbus Cloud on
    pelcan Mouth perfect size for put poster in to n\ap! inside poster sleep soundly put poster in Pelicn Mouth no problems because good Support for poster neck weak of big poster head
  • mooshoeporkmooshoepork Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Meh, in terms of Amyl Nitrate I'm pretty sure it isn't as bad as the media makes it out to be.

    "there is little evidence of significant hazard associated with inhalation of alkyl nitrites"

    http://www.merck.com/mmpe/sec15/ch198/ch198m.html#sec15-ch198-ch198m-400

    I suppose if you abuse it, then maybe. Brain cancer though?

    mooshoepork on
  • JasconiusJasconius sword criminal mad onlineRegistered User regular
    edited May 2009
    I'm not sure I would trust a health assessment on a chemical from a big-pharma web site.

    That's kind of like asking Exxon about the environmental impact of oil drilling.

    Jasconius on
  • mooshoeporkmooshoepork Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Jasconius wrote: »
    I'm not sure I would trust a health assessment on a chemical from a big-pharma web site.

    That's kind of like asking Exxon about the environmental impact of oil drilling.

    What would they gain from that? I just pulled it from Wikipedia, but still.

    I haven't seen any conclusive evidence of brain cancer

    mooshoepork on
  • supabeastsupabeast Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Practice with toys first. Practice on yourself, too, so you know what you’re doing to her ass.

    supabeast on
  • Desert_Eagle25Desert_Eagle25 Registered User
    edited May 2009
    Make sure she get's use to your size by leading up to it with anal sex toys for a couple days/weeks leading up to the big night. It's the difference between a really fun experience and something you guys don't talk about...ever.

    Desert_Eagle25 on
  • Fuzzy Cumulonimbus CloudFuzzy Cumulonimbus Cloud friend pelican soft and relaxing mouthRegistered User regular
    edited May 2009
    PubMed reveals a decent bit. The main worry is that it might cause Kaposi's Sarcomas.

    Fuzzy Cumulonimbus Cloud on
    pelcan Mouth perfect size for put poster in to n\ap! inside poster sleep soundly put poster in Pelicn Mouth no problems because good Support for poster neck weak of big poster head
  • TL DRTL DR Not at all confident in his reflexive opinions of thingsRegistered User regular
    edited May 2009
    That Guy wrote: »
    Well that was a lot of fun. Thanks for the advice guys.

    You don't know the forum rules?

    We need a full report, complete with pictures or, failing that, an artist's renderings.

    TL DR on
  • KrisKris Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    We need a full report, complete with pictures or, failing that, an artist's renderings.

    Or it didn't happen.

    Kris on
  • Cynical OptimistCynical Optimist Registered User
    edited July 2009
    To begin... The Anus is a very sensitive area. Its thousands of nerves are capable of pain and pleasure. If it hurts YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG.
    From a scientific and psychological perspective it is proven that the ass is an erotic area. This is Due to a great number of factors such as its close proximity to the genitals and the nerve paths that are shared between the mucus membranes (Anus, nipples, inner vulva lip, the penis head and not to forget the Oral lips and tongue!) In Karma sutra it is practice to literally from circuits of bio electrical feedback between partners by way of combining stimulation to multiple centers of these sensitive areas simultaneously. (Kissing during intercourse or giving her a thumb in the bum while administering cunellingus are some delightful examples)
    Instinctually speaking a male is programmed to release and circulate a chemical that results in sexual excitement when he recognizes the curves of the female design. (When a woman is sighted presenting her area while bending over for example)
    I find the soft and moist pinkness of a woman’s vulva AND anus to be equally titillating features of her ass when she bends over. Personally I feel the most sexual excitement when performing oral from behind while her area is fully exposed and surrendered. A surefire cause for a rock hard erection.
    IF YOU WANT HER TO CRAVE BEING ANALLY PENTRATED… Discuss and Consider the concept of anal pleasuring to be an act of surrender and yet worship, to be paid respect while yet consenting to violation, simultaneous dominance and submission. (Note the psychological dynamics of anal stimulation; ie getting fucked in the ass vs. having your ass kissed)
    Try
    Bending her over and coating her whole area in your tongue bathing. Start with nibbling and French kissing her thighs and ass cheaks. Familiarize your self; Get face to face with her vulva and anus and have a good look at it while you breath upon it. Sniff it. You know shes a keeper if you enjoy her fragrance. Breath on the area until shes squirming, begging and drooling. Eat out the whole vulva for a while then when shes about to cum from your rubbing her clit hood around and around munch your way up her vulva to her butthole and kiss it firmly.
    If she enjoyed her ass kissing invite her to sit her asshole upon yee ol impalement pole. Although it may be experience to be an act of submission to surrender ones contracting sphincter to penetration…. As she sits upon and slides down onto his erection she may claim the role of dominance as her clencher consumes him.
    Roll Reversal:
    Another great way for a woman to experience a sense of dominance through anal play is for her to probe him. This is known as Pegging… and its great. (The most mind blowing blowjob ive ever had was when this particular lady grasped my ass while sucking me until I was about to blow and then she said with an evil smerk “here, take this!” and rammed wet, long, feminine fingers into my most private place.) Awareness of an AWESOME force begin! If a guy is not capable of and comfortable with his own reception of anal pleasure then he has not even begun to understand how it may be enjoyable for his partner. If one does not find joy in their partners pleasure and satisfaction then they are selfish and un-reciprocating and are not worthy of their own sexual satisfaction.
    Erotic cleansing is a good suggestion in prepping for anal play. Administering your slaves enema can be joyfully humiliating. To truly submit is an act of love because it is done out of trust. Washing your lovers ass can be a very bonding and nurturing gesture as well.
    No matter how bizarre, kinky or cleaver of a sex act partners may perform on or receive from one another, it is all honorable in the name of god and the creative nature of the universe, as long as its done out of love and interest in what gets their partner off.
    Enjoy the human condition.

    Cynical Optimist on
  • KrisKris Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    To begin... The Anus is a very sensitive area. Its thousands of nerves are capable of pain and pleasure. If it hurts YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG.
    From a scientific and psychological perspective it is proven that the ass is an erotic area. This is Due to a great number of factors such as its close proximity to the genitals and the nerve paths that are shared between the mucus membranes (Anus, nipples, inner vulva lip, the penis head and not to forget the Oral lips and tongue!) In Karma sutra it is practice to literally from circuits of bio electrical feedback between partners by way of combining stimulation to multiple centers of these sensitive areas simultaneously. (Kissing during intercourse or giving her a thumb in the bum while administering cunellingus are some delightful examples)
    Instinctually speaking a male is programmed to release and circulate a chemical that results in sexual excitement when he recognizes the curves of the female design. (When a woman is sighted presenting her area while bending over for example)
    I find the soft and moist pinkness of a woman’s vulva AND anus to be equally titillating features of her ass when she bends over. Personally I feel the most sexual excitement when performing oral from behind while her area is fully exposed and surrendered. A surefire cause for a rock hard erection.
    IF YOU WANT HER TO CRAVE BEING ANALLY PENTRATED… Discuss and Consider the concept of anal pleasuring to be an act of surrender and yet worship, to be paid respect while yet consenting to violation, simultaneous dominance and submission. (Note the psychological dynamics of anal stimulation; ie getting fucked in the ass vs. having your ass kissed)
    Try
    Bending her over and coating her whole area in your tongue bathing. Start with nibbling and French kissing her thighs and ass cheaks. Familiarize your self; Get face to face with her vulva and anus and have a good look at it while you breath upon it. Sniff it. You know shes a keeper if you enjoy her fragrance. Breath on the area until shes squirming, begging and drooling. Eat out the whole vulva for a while then when shes about to cum from your rubbing her clit hood around and around munch your way up her vulva to her butthole and kiss it firmly.
    If she enjoyed her ass kissing invite her to sit her asshole upon yee ol impalement pole. Although it may be experience to be an act of submission to surrender ones contracting sphincter to penetration…. As she sits upon and slides down onto his erection she may claim the role of dominance as her clencher consumes him.
    Roll Reversal:
    Another great way for a woman to experience a sense of dominance through anal play is for her to probe him. This is known as Pegging… and its great. (The most mind blowing blowjob ive ever had was when this particular lady grasped my ass while sucking me until I was about to blow and then she said with an evil smerk “here, take this!” and rammed wet, long, feminine fingers into my most private place.) Awareness of an AWESOME force begin! If a guy is not capable of and comfortable with his own reception of anal pleasure then he has not even begun to understand how it may be enjoyable for his partner. If one does not find joy in their partners pleasure and satisfaction then they are selfish and un-reciprocating and are not worthy of their own sexual satisfaction.
    Erotic cleansing is a good suggestion in prepping for anal play. Administering your slaves enema can be joyfully humiliating. To truly submit is an act of love because it is done out of trust. Washing your lovers ass can be a very bonding and nurturing gesture as well.
    No matter how bizarre, kinky or cleaver of a sex act partners may perform on or receive from one another, it is all honorable in the name of god and the creative nature of the universe, as long as its done out of love and interest in what gets their partner off.
    Enjoy the human condition.

    :shock:

    Kris on
  • TinuzTinuz Registered User
    edited July 2009
    Kris wrote: »
    To begin... The Anus is a very sensitive area. Its thousands of nerves are capable of pain and pleasure. If it hurts YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG.
    From a scientific and psychological perspective it is proven that the ass is an erotic area. This is Due to a great number of factors such as its close proximity to the genitals and the nerve paths that are shared between the mucus membranes (Anus, nipples, inner vulva lip, the penis head and not to forget the Oral lips and tongue!) In Karma sutra it is practice to literally from circuits of bio electrical feedback between partners by way of combining stimulation to multiple centers of these sensitive areas simultaneously. (Kissing during intercourse or giving her a thumb in the bum while administering cunellingus are some delightful examples)
    Instinctually speaking a male is programmed to release and circulate a chemical that results in sexual excitement when he recognizes the curves of the female design. (When a woman is sighted presenting her area while bending over for example)
    I find the soft and moist pinkness of a woman’s vulva AND anus to be equally titillating features of her ass when she bends over. Personally I feel the most sexual excitement when performing oral from behind while her area is fully exposed and surrendered. A surefire cause for a rock hard erection.
    IF YOU WANT HER TO CRAVE BEING ANALLY PENTRATED… Discuss and Consider the concept of anal pleasuring to be an act of surrender and yet worship, to be paid respect while yet consenting to violation, simultaneous dominance and submission. (Note the psychological dynamics of anal stimulation; ie getting fucked in the ass vs. having your ass kissed)
    Try
    Bending her over and coating her whole area in your tongue bathing. Start with nibbling and French kissing her thighs and ass cheaks. Familiarize your self; Get face to face with her vulva and anus and have a good look at it while you breath upon it. Sniff it. You know shes a keeper if you enjoy her fragrance. Breath on the area until shes squirming, begging and drooling. Eat out the whole vulva for a while then when shes about to cum from your rubbing her clit hood around and around munch your way up her vulva to her butthole and kiss it firmly.
    If she enjoyed her ass kissing invite her to sit her asshole upon yee ol impalement pole. Although it may be experience to be an act of submission to surrender ones contracting sphincter to penetration…. As she sits upon and slides down onto his erection she may claim the role of dominance as her clencher consumes him.
    Roll Reversal:
    Another great way for a woman to experience a sense of dominance through anal play is for her to probe him. This is known as Pegging… and its great. (The most mind blowing blowjob ive ever had was when this particular lady grasped my ass while sucking me until I was about to blow and then she said with an evil smerk “here, take this!” and rammed wet, long, feminine fingers into my most private place.) Awareness of an AWESOME force begin! If a guy is not capable of and comfortable with his own reception of anal pleasure then he has not even begun to understand how it may be enjoyable for his partner. If one does not find joy in their partners pleasure and satisfaction then they are selfish and un-reciprocating and are not worthy of their own sexual satisfaction.
    Erotic cleansing is a good suggestion in prepping for anal play. Administering your slaves enema can be joyfully humiliating. To truly submit is an act of love because it is done out of trust. Washing your lovers ass can be a very bonding and nurturing gesture as well.
    No matter how bizarre, kinky or cleaver of a sex act partners may perform on or receive from one another, it is all honorable in the name of god and the creative nature of the universe, as long as its done out of love and interest in what gets their partner off.
    Enjoy the human condition.

    :shock:

    :winky:

    Tinuz on
    Quelreth wrote:
    .....when you made it sound like turning on a blacklight in your room would be like setting off a flashbang.
  • RaneadosRaneados Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    does H/A have necroposting rules jesus christ

    Raneados on
  • SaddlerSaddler Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    This is a proud moment for the people who pay for this forum.

    Saddler on
  • Charles KinboteCharles Kinbote Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    yeah I didn't want to say anything because I don't know etiquette here that well

    but that was the worst necropost I've ever seen in terms of content

    Charles Kinbote on
  • Disco11Disco11 Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    I am happy to be here for this momment.... I wonder if the OP has had his adventure yet?

    Disco11 on
    PSN: Canadian_llama
  • KyouguKyougu Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    For a moment I thought that the OP actually came in and updated.

    That post was much, much worse than anything I could have expected.

    Kyougu on
  • Ziac45Ziac45 Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    That... that was in depth...

    Ziac45 on
  • SeptusSeptus Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Ziac45 wrote: »
    That... that was in depth...

    And veered way off from simple advice. Seems like the dude was getting off on it.

    Septus on
    PSN: Kurahoshi1
  • Hey AshtrayHey Ashtray Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    It's like he's an anal salesman.

    Hey Ashtray on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • FattronicusFattronicus Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Wow, I don't know if I've laughed this hard in a really long time.

    Fattronicus on
    76561197968482768.png
  • RazielRaziel Registered User
    edited July 2009
    You have to admit, he did school us all on the butsex. A dissertation on butsex.

    Your degrees are in the mail.

    Raziel on
    Read the mad blog-rantings of a manic hack writer here.

    Thank you, Rubacava!
  • FoodFood Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Post of the Year

    Food on
  • Ziac45Ziac45 Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    I just had my girlfriend read it, the expressions of horror were priceless.

    Ziac45 on
This discussion has been closed.