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Dawn of War 2: R.I.P. Space Marines
Akira
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
In our continued effort to improve Dawn of War 2 forum posting at lightspeed (compared to the rest of the forum-posting industry) we will be releasing our first forum patch, upgrading us to version 1.01!
Here are the patch notes:
General Changes:
The following discussion topics have been banned:
- Anything related to Eldar balance in Dawn of War 2 and/or how it compared to Dawn of War 1 and/or how it compared to tabletop Eldar
- Posts by scrubs who don't understand basic mechanics of the game and yet feel the need to "enlighten" us with their expert opinions
- Whining about whining
- Whining about whining about whining
Faction Changes:
Forum Bastards (a.k.a. the Eldar Martyrdom Squad)
- Pancake is banned from all posting until she actually plays again
- Canis is not allowed to shit up the thread because, yet again, he forgot how bad 1v1 is and played it again
- Goomba is banned from discussing Dawn of War 2 balance unless his arguments are legitimate and free of sarcasm and bitterness
- All Tyranid players just get the fuck out
Cool Forum Posting Bros
- Stop arguing with the above, you are wasting your time and making the thead even more of a cesspool than usual
- Otherwise keep up the good work 8-)
Mechanic Changes:
- We have arbitrarily decided that forum posts are 15% too long, so all posts will have 15% of their words randomly removed. We spent maybe 5 minutes thinking about this before implementing this so fuck all y'all
- If you can't spell but still decide to post, other forumers are now allowed to verbally abuse you until you learn or leave
PHEW nearly half a page of changes! I'm sure everyone can agree that was worth the 6 months of wait since release! It was a rough time for everyone with the rampant shitposting but we have fixed at least 5% of all forum problems today, and that is definitely lightspeed results. Patch 1.02 is just around the corner, initial work has already started and we expect it to be here in only 8 months or so. We can safely say that this change to smaller, faster patches has been a positive change for everyone, allowing us to break the game almost twice as often! Oh did I say game, I meant forum posting. Yes, forum posting.
Dawn of War 2: Wading through shit for a carrot on a stick (it is a metaphor you see)
Here are all the races in order of most overpowered to least overpowered
TY "RELIC YOU ARE SO BAD AT THIS" RANIDS
If you have ever clicked on this portrait for reasons beyond "joke" games, please put a gun to your head and do us all a favour (kill yourself).
Fuck you to death Ravener.
Pros:
- Race designed for handicapped persons who are both blind and missing 3-4 limbs, Tyranids allow anyone to compete at a TS40+ level! Ever wanted to be a pro while lacking basic motor skills? Time to Tyranid it up!
Cons:
- Living with the constant shame of playing Tyranids
PRO STRAT BY AKIRA:
kill yourself
WHINEDAR / IMPERIAL GUARD
He used to be ssooooooo OP, and now he's just OP
Pros:
- Play as secret Dawn of War 2 Race the Imperial Guard! The DoW2-exclusive Eldar regiment are masters of disguise, but their immobile heavy weapons give them away every time!
Cons:
- There's like a compulsion to shit up this thread if you play these guys, I don't know what it is but damn
PRO STRAT BY AKIRA:
Just zerg OP guardian grenades around until you can mega buff banshees and kill everything geez what do i have to play for you FUCK OFF
SELECT EVERY GREEN UNIT - A - LEFT CLICK (STIKKBOMMAZ FIESTA OF ASSHOLES)
For fucks sake nerf the Trophy Rack
Pros:
- Never think again! Between Stikkbommaz destroying enemy power and keeping them constantly in T1 forever and your main force having no problem tar pitting entire retreating enemy squads, the game almost plays itself!
Cons:
- Weak second tier units (haha not really)
PRO STRAT BY AKIRA:
Build a bunch of melee guys then attack the other teams guys, after they retreat theyll get stuck on your mans and you can wipe out their entire army aharhaihsd
ADEPTUS ASTARTES, THE EMPEROR'S FINEST, SPACE MARINES OF THE IMPERIUM OF MAN
Frosted tips have a higher armor rating than helmets
Pros:
- Play as the best race in the game
Cons:
- Weakest race in the game, every battle is an uphill struggle. On those occasions you manage to best your opponent despite your massive disadvantage, you can know that he is probably crying himself to sleep tonight for actually losing to the massively underpowered Space Marines
PRO STRAT BY AKIRA:
pick a different race
WHHHOOOAAA HOW DO I PLAY WITH YOU AKIRA, YOU STUNNING EXAMPLE OF ALL THAT IS MAN?
well you probably can't because i probably hate you, I don't need more scrubs leeching off me in team games (I ALREADY HAVE GOOMBA AND CANIS DOING THAT HHHEEEEHHHH). serious post just add me on GFWL or Steam or w/e
heres a list of all the other forum jerks
If you want to play with other PA dudes get in vent I guess, that's where everyone else with no friends goes to find games
Here are the patch notes:
General Changes:
The following discussion topics have been banned:
- Anything related to Eldar balance in Dawn of War 2 and/or how it compared to Dawn of War 1 and/or how it compared to tabletop Eldar
- Posts by scrubs who don't understand basic mechanics of the game and yet feel the need to "enlighten" us with their expert opinions
- Whining about whining
- Whining about whining about whining
Faction Changes:
Forum Bastards (a.k.a. the Eldar Martyrdom Squad)
- Pancake is banned from all posting until she actually plays again
- Canis is not allowed to shit up the thread because, yet again, he forgot how bad 1v1 is and played it again
- Goomba is banned from discussing Dawn of War 2 balance unless his arguments are legitimate and free of sarcasm and bitterness
- All Tyranid players just get the fuck out
Cool Forum Posting Bros
- Stop arguing with the above, you are wasting your time and making the thead even more of a cesspool than usual
- Otherwise keep up the good work 8-)
Mechanic Changes:
- We have arbitrarily decided that forum posts are 15% too long, so all posts will have 15% of their words randomly removed. We spent maybe 5 minutes thinking about this before implementing this so fuck all y'all
- If you can't spell but still decide to post, other forumers are now allowed to verbally abuse you until you learn or leave
PHEW nearly half a page of changes! I'm sure everyone can agree that was worth the 6 months of wait since release! It was a rough time for everyone with the rampant shitposting but we have fixed at least 5% of all forum problems today, and that is definitely lightspeed results. Patch 1.02 is just around the corner, initial work has already started and we expect it to be here in only 8 months or so. We can safely say that this change to smaller, faster patches has been a positive change for everyone, allowing us to break the game almost twice as often! Oh did I say game, I meant forum posting. Yes, forum posting.
Dawn of War 2: Wading through shit for a carrot on a stick (it is a metaphor you see)
Here are all the races in order of most overpowered to least overpowered
TY "RELIC YOU ARE SO BAD AT THIS" RANIDS
If you have ever clicked on this portrait for reasons beyond "joke" games, please put a gun to your head and do us all a favour (kill yourself).
Fuck you to death Ravener.
Pros:
- Race designed for handicapped persons who are both blind and missing 3-4 limbs, Tyranids allow anyone to compete at a TS40+ level! Ever wanted to be a pro while lacking basic motor skills? Time to Tyranid it up!
Cons:
- Living with the constant shame of playing Tyranids
PRO STRAT BY AKIRA:
kill yourself
WHINEDAR / IMPERIAL GUARD
He used to be ssooooooo OP, and now he's just OP
Pros:
- Play as secret Dawn of War 2 Race the Imperial Guard! The DoW2-exclusive Eldar regiment are masters of disguise, but their immobile heavy weapons give them away every time!
Cons:
- There's like a compulsion to shit up this thread if you play these guys, I don't know what it is but damn
PRO STRAT BY AKIRA:
Just zerg OP guardian grenades around until you can mega buff banshees and kill everything geez what do i have to play for you FUCK OFF
SELECT EVERY GREEN UNIT - A - LEFT CLICK (STIKKBOMMAZ FIESTA OF ASSHOLES)
For fucks sake nerf the Trophy Rack
Pros:
- Never think again! Between Stikkbommaz destroying enemy power and keeping them constantly in T1 forever and your main force having no problem tar pitting entire retreating enemy squads, the game almost plays itself!
Cons:
- Weak second tier units (haha not really)
PRO STRAT BY AKIRA:
Build a bunch of melee guys then attack the other teams guys, after they retreat theyll get stuck on your mans and you can wipe out their entire army aharhaihsd
ADEPTUS ASTARTES, THE EMPEROR'S FINEST, SPACE MARINES OF THE IMPERIUM OF MAN
Frosted tips have a higher armor rating than helmets
Pros:
- Play as the best race in the game
Cons:
- Weakest race in the game, every battle is an uphill struggle. On those occasions you manage to best your opponent despite your massive disadvantage, you can know that he is probably crying himself to sleep tonight for actually losing to the massively underpowered Space Marines
PRO STRAT BY AKIRA:
pick a different race
WHHHOOOAAA HOW DO I PLAY WITH YOU AKIRA, YOU STUNNING EXAMPLE OF ALL THAT IS MAN?
well you probably can't because i probably hate you, I don't need more scrubs leeching off me in team games (I ALREADY HAVE GOOMBA AND CANIS DOING THAT HHHEEEEHHHH). serious post just add me on GFWL or Steam or w/e
heres a list of all the other forum jerks
Nerd Forumer Name= Stupid GFWL Tag
Mock the bad ones
Akira = MechaAkira
3clipse= R3clipse
815165 = thee telescopes
A-Puck = Za Puck
Accualt = The Accualt
admanb = admanjb
Aegeri= Aegeri
Battle Jesus = Aarnog (what the fuck why is this nothing like your name, jesus)
bongi = bongitrs
cakemikz = ryantschutter (can't fucking send it to me with forumer/gfwl or just gfwl like a normal person, so Ryan I hope someone castrates you.)
Captain K = I Am Captain K
Canada_jezus = Canada Jezus
CanisAquilus = Canis Aquilus
ChubbyRaccoon = Juice Tinn
Computer Generated Faggotry = CasinoGhost
Core= defconcore
Critter = TrotskysIcepick
Cronus = MasterCronus
darksteel=Cokesakto
darunia106=darunia106
Defunker = JollyGreenJssus
Demiurge = Demiurge03
Dissociater= Dissociater
Dr.Oblivious = DrOblivious
Figgy = FigmentNS
Foefaller = FoefallerMagus
Hawk= Hawk xSx
jdarksun= jdarksun
Jebu= Chrethon
Jives = JilesFTW
Joril = Cordiss
kaliyama = marblesthechimp
Kami = KamiDaHobo
Kinderparty = Kinderparty
kildy = Kildy
Kivutar = Morgant M
Klyka = Klyka
Leitner= Colonel Leitner
Lord_Asmodeus= I3rigand
Lurk = Saltek
MagicPrime = FireSideWizard (an ungrateful cunt for not saying "please" add me)
Medan = CaptDearborn
mightyspacepope= mightyspacepope
Moridin889 = LazyGit889
ObstSkwerl = Pvtskwerl
Pyromaniac221 = Pyromaniac221
Sepah = Seppah (heh, he can't spell, what a tard).
Shamus= El Shamus
Shorn Scrotum Man= SojakFA
Shujaa = ShenanigansUK
SJ= Warboss SJ
SniperGuy = SniperGuy710
Sonar = sonarogre
Quid = Asmadeus
Sidarthur = Eff O Eff (FoF? Fleet of Foot? Eldar scum.)
Spindrift = Cudboat
TekDragon= TekDragon84
TheBog = TheBog2
TheCrumblyCracker = CrumblyCracker
TheGerbil = TheGerbil86
troublebrewing = TroubleBrewin
Traikan = Traikan
TychoCelchuuu = TychoCelchuu
urahonky = IMAPWNJ00 (wins award for name most likely used by a pedophile)
Urian = Fathom216
valtzy = valtzy
Varega = Varega (likes to be called "Vagina Man" because he's a big vagina)
Velmeran = Vechloran
Vi Monks= ViMonks2
Woggle = Woggle 0
Wulf= Wulf
Zen Vulgarity= ZenVulgarity (probably the worst poster/player on the forums)
Mock the bad ones
Akira = MechaAkira
3clipse= R3clipse
815165 = thee telescopes
A-Puck = Za Puck
Accualt = The Accualt
admanb = admanjb
Aegeri= Aegeri
Battle Jesus = Aarnog (what the fuck why is this nothing like your name, jesus)
bongi = bongitrs
cakemikz = ryantschutter (can't fucking send it to me with forumer/gfwl or just gfwl like a normal person, so Ryan I hope someone castrates you.)
Captain K = I Am Captain K
Canada_jezus = Canada Jezus
CanisAquilus = Canis Aquilus
ChubbyRaccoon = Juice Tinn
Computer Generated Faggotry = CasinoGhost
Core= defconcore
Critter = TrotskysIcepick
Cronus = MasterCronus
darksteel=Cokesakto
darunia106=darunia106
Defunker = JollyGreenJssus
Demiurge = Demiurge03
Dissociater= Dissociater
Dr.Oblivious = DrOblivious
Figgy = FigmentNS
Foefaller = FoefallerMagus
Hawk= Hawk xSx
jdarksun= jdarksun
Jebu= Chrethon
Jives = JilesFTW
Joril = Cordiss
kaliyama = marblesthechimp
Kami = KamiDaHobo
Kinderparty = Kinderparty
kildy = Kildy
Kivutar = Morgant M
Klyka = Klyka
Leitner= Colonel Leitner
Lord_Asmodeus= I3rigand
Lurk = Saltek
MagicPrime = FireSideWizard (an ungrateful cunt for not saying "please" add me)
Medan = CaptDearborn
mightyspacepope= mightyspacepope
Moridin889 = LazyGit889
ObstSkwerl = Pvtskwerl
Pyromaniac221 = Pyromaniac221
Sepah = Seppah (heh, he can't spell, what a tard).
Shamus= El Shamus
Shorn Scrotum Man= SojakFA
Shujaa = ShenanigansUK
SJ= Warboss SJ
SniperGuy = SniperGuy710
Sonar = sonarogre
Quid = Asmadeus
Sidarthur = Eff O Eff (FoF? Fleet of Foot? Eldar scum.)
Spindrift = Cudboat
TekDragon= TekDragon84
TheBog = TheBog2
TheCrumblyCracker = CrumblyCracker
TheGerbil = TheGerbil86
troublebrewing = TroubleBrewin
Traikan = Traikan
TychoCelchuuu = TychoCelchuu
urahonky = IMAPWNJ00 (wins award for name most likely used by a pedophile)
Urian = Fathom216
valtzy = valtzy
Varega = Varega (likes to be called "Vagina Man" because he's a big vagina)
Velmeran = Vechloran
Vi Monks= ViMonks2
Woggle = Woggle 0
Wulf= Wulf
Zen Vulgarity= ZenVulgarity (probably the worst poster/player on the forums)
If you want to play with other PA dudes get in vent I guess, that's where everyone else with no friends goes to find games
Akira on
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Posts
Also that handgun in the Tyranid pic completes that picture.
http://beta.humugus.com/index.php/auth/register/inv/1966
Now that I've started playing again... does anyone else think they should make some decorators for the vehicles and walkers? Just played a bunch of Medea Cliffs and started making some Dreadnoughts w/ Ass cannons... ya know, just for a change. They're actually not too bad. Can't heal em with the Apothecary, but what're ya gonna do? But uh... the absence of any decorator icon for em kinda surprised me. Guess it's been a while. Vehicles never had icons at all, right? Well, they shouldn't be too hard to make. Just a simple tank icon for tanks, and then some robot for the walkers.
And yea... there's pretty much no reason to ever tech to T3 for SM. Just save up more requistion for Tacs.
FUCK YOU YOU WERE 4 PAGES TOO LATE AND NOW YOU DON'T EVEN FIX HALF THE PROBLEMS YOU SAID YOU WOULD
I'M GIVING UP ON THIS THREAD UNTIL THE NEXT THREAD WHICH IS 10 PAGES TOO LATE
https://medium.com/@alascii
Croak and/or Relic, I still love you!
(OP is hilarious though.)
Shades and baseball cap desperately needs to be a genuine Guardian rank unlock.
You know, you guys should play Team Battle more. There's a lot less bullshit going on there than in 1v1. Rippers don't really work because they're confined to lanes. Spore mines get killed by massed firepower. Space Marines are a lot less crap. You can also mock your allies when you get champion even if it was only because you built 18 generators right at the end of the match. Ahem.
Unfortunately for the rest of us Pancake, there is no patch that could possibly even come close to fixing you.
How come we haven't seen any ranged melta guns in DoW1/2? Would they just be too overpowered? I mean, the flamethrower is okay but can't melt vehicles.
Hah, yea... guilty as charged. But c'mon... Sisters of Battle and Dark Eldar? That's one expansion too many.
And I lost interest in playing after DC introduced hard caps.
1v1 was, is, and always will be bullshit though.
On the black screen
I never asked for this!
I never asked for this!
I just picked this game up and my GFWL id is P1owKing. This is my first RTS game, but I'm interested in playing multiplayer.
If anyone wants to show me ropes, hit me up sometime. I'm a fast learner, I promise
This is probably a stupid question, but are the 2v2 maps any good?
I never asked for this!
It's a good thing tyranids are so rare, then.
I never asked for this!
So yes, it actually does completely suck.
No-flanking Chokepoint Spire says hi.
On the black screen