New babysitter, safety first?

Improvolone

I was doing some food shopping with my son (16 months) and got to talking to a woman in her 40's. She made a remark about how her youngest is graduating high school next week and that she should start carrying around business cards to give to everyone so that she can baby sit.
"Actually, I'm going to need a babysitter", says I.

So I have her name, number, and I know that she works for the school board. What do I do next to make sure that "hey, yea, I have enough information to trust this person now."
I have never used a stranger for babysitting purposes, so this whole thing just feels weird.

Duffel

It's going to be hard to say how trustworthy she is until you meet some people she has sat for.

capnrico

Meet her, interview her, that's about all you can do.

You can ask if she's ever done any babysitting before and possibly get references there. I'd also recommend a "dry run" where you are around, but out of sight, and kind of see how she handles things.

dispatch.o

I would say schedule a park visit with your wife/girlfriend and your child, and ask if she's available for a couple hours to help keep track of your son/daughter so you two can have a more relaxed time. Show up, have your picnic, tell them to go play and then relax nearby-ish and enjoy yourselves for an hour or two.

matt has a problem

Just like any other job, interview her and get references.

Wezoin

No offense to the people above, but I'd assume any child predator/whatever that you might be afraid she might be would probably be able to control themselves for an hour or two while you're around watching them, leaving the test largely useless.

I'd say find a friend of yours or your wife who has teenage kids that you think you can trust, ask if they'd like to babysit. They'd probably be cheaper too.

matt has a problem

The worry isn't that she'll turn out to be some rapist, the worry is she won't be able to take care of the kid. I mean seriously, you're putting the life of your baby in her hands. Kids who apply to work at braindead McDonald's jobs get more scrutiny than that.

capnrico

The reason I was saying it was not so much to root out the child predators (that comes later when you start hiding cameras and shit ), it's just to get a feel for how the girl interacts with your kid, and see if they're a good match.

You're right, though, people will behave differently when they know they're being watched, and kids will react differently when their parents are around, whether or not they're interacting with them. That's why I suggested being out of sight -- it seems silly, but there really is a subtle mental "you're being watched" switch that turns off, whether it's realized or not, and people will behave more naturally. Out of sight, out of mind and all that.

Improvolone

capnrico wrote: »

The reason I was saying it was not so much to root out the child predators (that comes later when you start hiding cameras and shit ), it's just to get a feel for how the girl interacts with your kid, and see if they're a good match.

More or less, yea. Sure, it's also to make sure she isn't a twisted individual, but thats where the references thing will come into play.

Wezoin wrote: »

No offense to the people above, but I'd assume any child predator/whatever that you might be afraid she might be would probably be able to control themselves for an hour or two while you're around watching them, leaving the test largely useless.

I'd say find a friend of yours or your wife who has teenage kids that you think you can trust, ask if they'd like to babysit. They'd probably be cheaper too.

Well, I'm 22, his mother isn't very involved in his life (we are separated), and the friends that I do have who are capable of baby sitting are very busy in the own lives. Suffice to say, this is why I'm going to need a baby sitter.

And of course I worry about "what might this woman do!!!!" because I watch a lot of Law and Order and some Nancy Grace every now and then.

Judge Joe Brown

I always test out a new babysitter by doing an errand day. I find a day where I need to do a bunch of things in different places. Groceries, go to the bank, and pick up some stuff at the home depot.

So I leave, tell the babysitter I'll be back for dinnertime. Go get groceries, and come back home unexpected. See if shes watching TV and letting my child get into trouble. Then I drop off my groceries and go to the bank. Come home again unexpectedly. Then do my last chore, and do it once more. If I come home and find something amiss, new babysitter.

Also has the side effect of making them think I could come home at any time. Which I never really will, but its better keeping them on their toes.

Improvolone

Whats a good pay range I should offer? I hope I can trade her time for mine (computers, TVs, general handy man type shit), but I do want to put something out there. I'll see if I can't get her to let me know what she expects, but is 15 an hour too much or too low?

She has aa job and a husband who presumably works, so I know she wouldn't be doing it for the money.

Judge Joe Brown

15 an hour is more than reasonable considering you could find some young female student willing to take on the job for minimum wage + food.

matt has a problem

Wait, are you hiring the mom or the daughter graduating high school?

capnrico

I was assuming daughter this whole time too, but now I can see how he meant the mom.

Improvolone

I am talking about the mother.

TychoCelchuuu

I think it's safe to assume that if at least one of her children made it through high school alive you just need to interview her and make sure she's not crazy and check the references. If she's giving out business cards, it's unlikely that she's going to be neglecting kids as soon as she gets her hands on them.

GrimmyTOA

Definitely ask her for references. If she doesn't have any or they aren't universally enthusiastic, you should find someone else to watch your child.

Casual

I don't know if this is the same in America but in the UK anyone working in any job that has anything to do with schools or children have to go through "enhanced disclosure". Before you can even get the job you have to go through a very through set of background checks and so forth. She works for the school board, she's a mother herself and she isn't some irresponcible teen. If the price is right I would say you got yourself a baby sitter.

Djeet

Not sure how to vet babysitters as only family takes care of our kid. Day care or babysitter or nanny is inevitable for us due to work considerations. The hope is we can get by with family until kid is old enough to communicate something is wrong.

You'll want to find out if she's taking care of other kids and if so how many and their ages. You'll also want to find out if babysitting is all she'll be doing when taking care of the kid. You'll want her to have a child car seat.

Regulations w/r/to informal childcare vary state to state, but in Texas someone could take care of 3-4 children in their home without having to register with any agency or be subject to state scrutiny. Some lady was busted earlier this year, she was driving around with 2-3 babies and had left a few toddlers at home. Kids were fine, but she was really running around and taking a lot of risks that wouldn't be possible in traditional childcare.

If you don't feel right about her then look into traditional childcare. Depending upon the schedule you could probably get your kid in somewhere at or under $15/hr.

Edit: If there's a university nearby you may want to post a flyer near the education and psychology colleges so you can get more applicants from which to select.

MichaelLC

Casual wrote: »

I don't know if this is the same in America but in the UK anyone working in any job that has anything to do with schools or children have to go through "enhanced disclosure". Before you can even get the job you have to go through a very through set of background checks and so forth. She works for the school board, she's a mother herself and she isn't some irresponcible teen. If the price is right I would say you got yourself a baby sitter.

There are laws/policies for people who want to run a daycare either from their home or at a business, but nothing required for hiring someone just to babysit. Most cities will have classes (at a library or community college) for basic care or CPR-type stuff, but it's optional.

onceling

Since she was talking about the business cards and such she shouldn't have an issue for you bringing up references.

I would just phone, say hi, tell her you've had a think about the times you need a sitter and what you can afford and offer to meet her for coffee to discuss further. This can act as your interview.

If you're going to then meet at a coffee shop, you can then say something like "If you have a few phone numbers for reference it'd be great if you could write them down and bring them". Then take the numbers at your coffee meeting and call them later on, assuming you still think everything is fine after your mini interview.

As a mother, she should understand perfectly.

Improvolone

Thanks a lot guys. I am definitly going to have her meet me for coffee, give me some references, and then do the surprise I'm home to see how everything is on her first day.

Szechuanosaurus

MichaelLC wrote: »

Casual wrote: »

I don't know if this is the same in America but in the UK anyone working in any job that has anything to do with schools or children have to go through "enhanced disclosure". Before you can even get the job you have to go through a very through set of background checks and so forth. She works for the school board, she's a mother herself and she isn't some irresponcible teen. If the price is right I would say you got yourself a baby sitter.

There are laws/policies for people who want to run a daycare either from their home or at a business, but nothing required for hiring someone just to babysit. Most cities will have classes (at a library or community college) for basic care or CPR-type stuff, but it's optional.

Yes, but Improvolone mentioned that she works for the school board.

Although I'm not sure that working for the school board necessarily means you are working with children and would therefore have to clear Disclosure.

I'd say meet her daughter as well. I mean, you should be able to get some measure of a person's parenting skills from the results they've produced, right? If she's a heroine addict it isn't necessarily the parents fault, but at least if she appears to be a well rounded individual you can at least assume she wasn't horribly abused for 16 years.