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hey kids, let's play doctor!

babyeatingjesusbabyeatingjesus Registered User regular
edited June 2009 in Social Entropy++
So this morning my bride-to-be woke up with a cold.

Not a big deal normally, but we happen to be getting married in 5 days, and being sick on Saturday is, well not optimal.

Immediately I told her to put aside her ego and call in sick, she works in a lab so she won't really be missed today. Next up though we need to think of things to put inside her that will make her well for Saturday.

So what's it going to be, kids? I've heard Spiced Rum & OJ cocktails to raise the body temperature and provide vitamin C, ColdFX(tm) tablets, Echinacea, sitting outside in the sun, but none of that baseless advice compares to cold hard anecdotal evidence.

So give me what you got SE++. Cure the common cold in 4 days or less!

hitthatcheeseburgerfatty.gif
babyeatingjesus on
«13

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    IskanderIskander Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Next up though we need to think of things to put inside her that will make her well for Saturday.!

    Admit it, you worded it exactly that way for someone to suggest penis, didn't you?

    Iskander on
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    #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited June 2009
    tell her to go to bed and not get out.

    and drink lots and lots of water

    #pipe on
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    ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    I've been reading The Stand and if this book is right it means that your almost-wife is going to die.

    ChicoBlue on
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    ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Blood letting.

    Butters on
    PSN: idontworkhere582 | CFN: idontworkhere | Steam: lordbutters | Amazon Wishlist
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    Macro9Macro9 Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    leeches

    edit:

    ugghhh

    Macro9 on
    58pwo4vxupcr.png
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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    i always drink lots of V8 Berry Splash when i get sick

    it is so good

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    ChicoBlue wrote: »
    I've been reading The Stand and if this book is right it means that your almost-wife is going to die.

    captain trips!

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
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    Macro9Macro9 Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    I don't get sick.

    Macro9 on
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    DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited June 2009
    I would suggest that alcohol be avoided while she's ill

    Druhim on
    belruelotterav-1.jpg
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    Airking850Airking850 Ottawa, ONRegistered User regular
    edited June 2009
    one time in high school my friend drank so much V8 splash that his skin turned orange.

    True story.

    Airking850 on
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    ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Airking850 wrote: »
    one time in high school my friend drank so much V8 splash that his skin turned orange.

    True story.

    Was his name Arnold?

    Did your sexy redheaded teacher take the class on a magical field trip into Arnold's body to see what was making his skin orange and then start peeling his skin off?

    ChicoBlue on
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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    ChicoBlue wrote: »
    Airking850 wrote: »
    one time in high school my friend drank so much V8 splash that his skin turned orange.

    True story.

    Was his name Arnold?

    Did your sexy redheaded teacher take the class on a magical field trip into Arnold's body to see what was making his skin orange and then start peeling his skin off?

    you thought Mrs. Frizzle was sexy?

    really?

    CrackedLens on
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    DrZiplockDrZiplock Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Druhim wrote: »
    I would suggest that alcohol be avoided while she's ill

    No Irish Cure? awwww maaaaaan.

    Go to bed with bottle of jameson.

    Place hat at end of bed.

    Drink jameson until you see two hats.

    Pass out.

    Wake up and no more cold.


    That was pretty much word for word of what my grandmother mailed me when I had a cold in college. She's one hell of a lady.

    DrZiplock on
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    ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    ChicoBlue wrote: »
    Airking850 wrote: »
    one time in high school my friend drank so much V8 splash that his skin turned orange.

    True story.

    Was his name Arnold?

    Did your sexy redheaded teacher take the class on a magical field trip into Arnold's body to see what was making his skin orange and then start peeling his skin off?

    you thought Mrs. Frizzle was sexy?

    really?

    I used to draw naked Ms. Frizzles in my school books.

    ChicoBlue on
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    NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Ed McMahon died.

    NotASenator on
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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    ChicoBlue wrote: »
    ChicoBlue wrote: »
    Airking850 wrote: »
    one time in high school my friend drank so much V8 splash that his skin turned orange.

    True story.

    Was his name Arnold?

    Did your sexy redheaded teacher take the class on a magical field trip into Arnold's body to see what was making his skin orange and then start peeling his skin off?

    you thought Mrs. Frizzle was sexy?

    really?

    I used to draw naked Ms. Frizzles in my school books.

    nasty!





    (show me)

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
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    DrZiplockDrZiplock Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Holy crap.

    DrZiplock on
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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    NotACrook wrote: »
    Ed McMahon died.

    THAT IS CORRECT, SIR!

    CrackedLens on
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    ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Druhim wrote: »
    I would suggest that alcohol be avoided while she's ill

    Blasphemy!

    Butters on
    PSN: idontworkhere582 | CFN: idontworkhere | Steam: lordbutters | Amazon Wishlist
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    JoeUserJoeUser Forum Santa Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    NotACrook wrote: »
    Ed McMahon died.

    THAT IS CORRECT, SIR!

    Hiyoooo!

    JoeUser on
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    Airking850Airking850 Ottawa, ONRegistered User regular
    edited June 2009
    ChicoBlue wrote: »
    Airking850 wrote: »
    one time in high school my friend drank so much V8 splash that his skin turned orange.

    True story.

    Was his name Arnold?

    Did your sexy redheaded teacher take the class on a magical field trip into Arnold's body to see what was making his skin orange and then start peeling his skin off?

    man I wish

    Airking850 on
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    SporkAndrewSporkAndrew Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited June 2009
    She needs to strip and sit outside in a tin bath filled with ice-water. You must then get neighbourhood children and stray dogs to lick her face.

    You will notice an improvement after only a day or so.

    SporkAndrew on
    The one about the fucking space hairdresser and the cowboy. He's got a tinfoil pal and a pedal bin
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    AMP'dAMP'd Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Please let this be a normal field trip!

    AMP'd on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    GRMikeGRMike The Last Best Hope for Humanity The God Pod Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    NotACrook wrote: »
    Ed McMahon died.

    I was hoping there was a topic about this so I could bring up the best thing McMahon ever did for anybody ever:

    The Star Search Spokesmodel competition:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUPLxsscl5Q&feature=related

    GRMike on
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    UsagiUsagi Nah Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    Druhim wrote: »
    I would suggest that alcohol be avoided while she's ill

    No Irish Cure? awwww maaaaaan.

    Go to bed with bottle of jameson.

    Place hat at end of bed.

    Drink jameson until you see two hats.

    Pass out.

    Wake up and no more cold.


    That was pretty much word for word of what my grandmother mailed me when I had a cold in college. She's one hell of a lady.

    ahaha, my grandpa did about the same thing except he swore by vodka and OJ

    Usagi on
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    Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    edited June 2009
    My mom used to make me warm water with bourbon in it when I was sick.

    I doubt it helped my immune system at all, but I definitely fell asleep more easily.

    Lost Salient on
    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
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    ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    AMP'd wrote: »
    Please let this be a normal field trip!
    Ralphie didn't quite understand the lessons of the Sound Castle, so Ms. Frizzle decided to keep him after school.

    She took him to the back of the Magic School Bus and told him to take off his pants. Somewhat reluctantly, Ralphie slowly undid his jeans and slid them down his legs until they were around his ankles. When he had slid off his tiny white underwear Ms. Frizzle shoved him to the floor of the bus, forced his knees into his chest and rammed a tuning fork into his little boy asshole.

    With a wicked grin, Ms. Frizzle pulled a small metal hammer from between her legs and gently tapped the tuning fork.

    Ralphie felt the reverberations radiate from his stink hole and move throughout his entire body.

    "Do you get it now, Ralphie?" Ms. Frizzle whispered. "Do you understand sound?"

    "Not yet," Ralphie moaned. "I think you had better continue the lesson a while longer."

    ChicoBlue on
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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    DAMN CHICO

    CrackedLens on
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    GumpyGumpy There is always a greater powerRegistered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Oh god Chico

    My brain

    Gumpy on
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    ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    My mom used to make me warm water with bourbon in it when I was sick.

    I doubt it helped my immune system at all, but I definitely fell asleep more easily.

    Hot buttered rum is bestest.

    Butters on
    PSN: idontworkhere582 | CFN: idontworkhere | Steam: lordbutters | Amazon Wishlist
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    Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    edited June 2009
    But we're a bourbon family, you see.

    Our only sailors were gang-pressed and jumped ship in the mid-19th century. Bad memories related to rum.

    Lost Salient on
    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
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    RabidDeathMooseRabidDeathMoose Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Rest, water, food. Durr

    Sleep++ if possible, just get her to down some NyQuil or Benedryl and knock her out for 6+ hours over the next few days and at night so she gets as much sleep as is possible.

    RabidDeathMoose on
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    Shazkar ShadowstormShazkar Shadowstorm Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    urghhh I'm getting sick too
    its because saturday i was out all day, but wearing a t-shirt, and it was stupid and rainy, and then saturday night i was drinking and stayed up laste and lo and behold monday morning i wake up and am getting sick

    fuck

    Shazkar Shadowstorm on
    poo
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    babyeatingjesusbabyeatingjesus Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Rest, water, food. Durr

    Sleep++ if possible, just get her to down some NyQuil or Benedryl and knock her out for 6+ hours over the next few days and at night so she gets as much sleep as is possible.

    You don't want anything that removes the fever since the raised body temperature is what helps kill the virus. We're looking to get well in 4 days not feel better today.

    babyeatingjesus on
    hitthatcheeseburgerfatty.gif
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    Shazkar ShadowstormShazkar Shadowstorm Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    should i nyquil

    Shazkar Shadowstorm on
    poo
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    AMP'dAMP'd Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Ugh why, Chico?

    AMP'd on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    laughingfuzzballlaughingfuzzball Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Just let it run it's course. Rest, fluids, and vitamin C are good, but mostly just waiting.

    laughingfuzzball on
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    Mr. GMr. G Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    chico don't stop i'm almost there

    Mr. G on
    6F32U1X.png
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    Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    But we're a bourbon family, you see.

    Our only sailors were gang-pressed and jumped ship in the mid-19th century. Bad memories related to rum.

    I think the phrase is press-ganged. Gang-pressed just... well, it has entirely different connotations, you know?

    Grey Ghost on
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    Burning OrganBurning Organ Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Garlic cures all, even vampirism.

    Burning Organ on
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