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hey kids, let's play doctor!
babyeatingjesus
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
So this morning my bride-to-be woke up with a cold.
Not a big deal normally, but we happen to be getting married in 5 days, and being sick on Saturday is, well not optimal.
Immediately I told her to put aside her ego and call in sick, she works in a lab so she won't really be missed today. Next up though we need to think of things to put inside her that will make her well for Saturday.
So what's it going to be, kids? I've heard Spiced Rum & OJ cocktails to raise the body temperature and provide vitamin C, ColdFX(tm) tablets, Echinacea, sitting outside in the sun, but none of that baseless advice compares to cold hard anecdotal evidence.
So give me what you got SE++. Cure the common cold in 4 days or less!
Not a big deal normally, but we happen to be getting married in 5 days, and being sick on Saturday is, well not optimal.
Immediately I told her to put aside her ego and call in sick, she works in a lab so she won't really be missed today. Next up though we need to think of things to put inside her that will make her well for Saturday.
So what's it going to be, kids? I've heard Spiced Rum & OJ cocktails to raise the body temperature and provide vitamin C, ColdFX(tm) tablets, Echinacea, sitting outside in the sun, but none of that baseless advice compares to cold hard anecdotal evidence.
So give me what you got SE++. Cure the common cold in 4 days or less!
babyeatingjesus on
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Admit it, you worded it exactly that way for someone to suggest penis, didn't you?
and drink lots and lots of water
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
edit:
ugghhh
it is so good
captain trips!
True story.
Was his name Arnold?
Did your sexy redheaded teacher take the class on a magical field trip into Arnold's body to see what was making his skin orange and then start peeling his skin off?
you thought Mrs. Frizzle was sexy?
really?
No Irish Cure? awwww maaaaaan.
Go to bed with bottle of jameson.
Place hat at end of bed.
Drink jameson until you see two hats.
Pass out.
Wake up and no more cold.
That was pretty much word for word of what my grandmother mailed me when I had a cold in college. She's one hell of a lady.
I used to draw naked Ms. Frizzles in my school books.
nasty!
(show me)
THAT IS CORRECT, SIR!
Blasphemy!
Hiyoooo!
man I wish
You will notice an improvement after only a day or so.
I was hoping there was a topic about this so I could bring up the best thing McMahon ever did for anybody ever:
The Star Search Spokesmodel competition:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUPLxsscl5Q&feature=related
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ahaha, my grandpa did about the same thing except he swore by vodka and OJ
I doubt it helped my immune system at all, but I definitely fell asleep more easily.
"Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
She took him to the back of the Magic School Bus and told him to take off his pants. Somewhat reluctantly, Ralphie slowly undid his jeans and slid them down his legs until they were around his ankles. When he had slid off his tiny white underwear Ms. Frizzle shoved him to the floor of the bus, forced his knees into his chest and rammed a tuning fork into his little boy asshole.
With a wicked grin, Ms. Frizzle pulled a small metal hammer from between her legs and gently tapped the tuning fork.
Ralphie felt the reverberations radiate from his stink hole and move throughout his entire body.
"Do you get it now, Ralphie?" Ms. Frizzle whispered. "Do you understand sound?"
"Not yet," Ralphie moaned. "I think you had better continue the lesson a while longer."
My brain
Hot buttered rum is bestest.
Our only sailors were gang-pressed and jumped ship in the mid-19th century. Bad memories related to rum.
"Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
Sleep++ if possible, just get her to down some NyQuil or Benedryl and knock her out for 6+ hours over the next few days and at night so she gets as much sleep as is possible.
its because saturday i was out all day, but wearing a t-shirt, and it was stupid and rainy, and then saturday night i was drinking and stayed up laste and lo and behold monday morning i wake up and am getting sick
fuck
You don't want anything that removes the fever since the raised body temperature is what helps kill the virus. We're looking to get well in 4 days not feel better today.
I think the phrase is press-ganged. Gang-pressed just... well, it has entirely different connotations, you know?