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Morally Wrong?

JeiceJeice regular
edited August 2009 in Help / Advice Forum
So, I have this friend who met this girl, girl A about a month ago. They went out together for a group hang about a couple weeks ago and everything went well. Girl A expressed interest in the guy and the guy did so as well. Nothing too big, they pretty much just held hands and held each other closely. It was kind of like those romantic comedies where the nerdy guy takes the girl's hand, then they look at each other with affirmation that they both like each other. In any case, it was really, "cute."

Then, they parted ways and the guy went to a party. At the party, the guy flirted with this girl, girl B, all night with pretty much the intention of hooking up with that girl. Nothing happened. But, all my friends were kind of pissed at him because they think that the guy is "cheating" on girl A. The guy's reasoning, "He's not together with girl A yet, so he can do whatever because he's still technically single."

Over the next couple of weeks, he's been talking to girl A via IM. The conversations aren't too big, they're just friendly and sometimes slightly flirty. If their conversations were between any other 2 people, it would just seem like normal conversations between a girl and guy who are friends. But, I think girl A thinks it is more than that. I don't really know where they stand (they haven't seen each other since the group hang).

Now, it's girl B's birthday party coming up and the guy is invited and he asked me if he should go or not. I don't have an answer for him, but it looks like he doesn't know what he's doing and is just looking for confirmation that if he does go, it's not wrong. But, if he gets told it is wrong, he might not go. Oh, and if he does go, he will probably go for girl B.

So, is it wrong for a guy to hit on 2 girls when one of the girls, possibly both have an interest in the guy?

Jeice on

Posts

  • LailLail Surrey, B.C.Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    He isn't doing anything wrong.

    Lail on
  • RethiusRethius Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    If I understand correctly your friend is not committed to either of these women. I don't think he's doing anything wrong, you can't cheat on somebody that you're not dating.

    Rethius on
  • FightTestFightTest Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    If he and girl A were seeing each other more or doing something more than talking on the internet every so often I'd say he should be a little more classy about it, but really who hangs their hat on holding a hand and then not seeing someone for a month?

    I'm pretty sure most people would be of the opinion that there's nothing wrong with applying for multiple jobs until you land one. If he's not dating a girl she can't complain about him pursuing another one. Especially if they don't even see each other to pursue their own thing.

    FightTest on
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  • Penguin_OtakuPenguin_Otaku Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Nope.

    Penguin_Otaku on
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  • admanbadmanb unionize your workplace Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    No.

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  • VisionOfClarityVisionOfClarity Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    He's doing nothing wrong and your friends are lame. Just because someone likes you and you flirt a bit it doesn't tie you at the hip and take you off the market. Hell, even if they went on a few dates together it wouldn't matter unless they decided to be exclusive. Why is casual dating such a foreign concept these days?

    VisionOfClarity on
  • Dark_SideDark_Side Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Nothing wrong with it, and I would probably argue it really isn't any of your business either. Were it a more severe situation, or with a close friend of yours who you knew was infatuated with him, then different story. But I'd stay out of it, why drag yourself into drama.

    Dark_Side on
  • JeiceJeice regular
    edited August 2009
    Dark_Side wrote: »
    Nothing wrong with it, and I would probably argue it really isn't any of your business either. Were it a more severe situation, or with a close friend of yours who you knew was infatuated with him, then different story. But I'd stay out of it, why drag yourself into drama.

    I really don't have an opinion on it. He asked me, and I told him I didn't know. So, he asked me to ask here because he doesn't have an account.

    Jeice on
  • ThanatosThanatos Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Jesus Christ, holding hands doesn't mean you're married.

    Thanatos on
  • VisionOfClarityVisionOfClarity Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Also, any girl who thinks holding hands means you're now in a committed relationship and can't see anyone else is a nutter and you should run away, fast.

    VisionOfClarity on
  • RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    VisionOfClarity wrote: »
    Also, any girl who thinks holding hands means you're now in a committed relationship and can't see anyone else is a nutter and you should run away, fast.

    to be fair, they might be 8 years old

    Raneados on
  • CrashtardCrashtard Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Thanatos wrote: »
    Jesus Christ, holding hands doesn't mean you're married.

    Are you SURE?

    Seriously though, it's fine. Tell him to stop worrying about it and go to the birthday party.

    Crashtard on
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  • FiggyFiggy Fighter of the night man Champion of the sunRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    It sounds to me like you are all maybe 15 or 16? That's the only way I can understand why this would be a confusing issue.

    He is doing absolutely nothing wrong. He can hit on as many girls as he likes, and it doesn't matter how many of them have an interest in him. It's not until he creates some form of mutually exclusive relationship with someone that going outside of that becomes even remotely wrong.

    And who names their kids A and B anyway?

    Figgy on
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  • EskimoDaveEskimoDave Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Thanatos wrote: »
    Jesus Christ, holding hands doesn't mean you're married.

    If you walk around a table while holding hands it does.

    Full House taught me so many things.

    EskimoDave on
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  • underdonkunderdonk __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2009
    I will add one thing...

    The great thing about not having a moral compass is, unlike in the woods, you never get lost.

    underdonk on
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  • KalTorakKalTorak One way or another, they all end up in the Undercity.Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Thanatos wrote: »
    Jesus Christ, holding hands doesn't mean you're married.

    Than, why can't you just admit your feelings? I haven't washed my hand since that day and I know you haven't either!

    KalTorak on
  • THEPAIN73THEPAIN73 Shiny. Real shiny.Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Rethius wrote: »
    you can't cheat on somebody that you're not dating.

    Correct, this was my first thought.

    The guy is playing the field. That's all.

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  • DarkewolfeDarkewolfe Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Lail wrote: »
    He isn't doing anything wrong.

    With the addendum that he is not misleading the first girl into thinking that they are already in the first stages of a relationship.

    Darkewolfe on
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  • RocketSauceRocketSauce Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Don't be hatin'.

    RocketSauce on
  • Eat it You Nasty Pig.Eat it You Nasty Pig. tell homeland security 'we are the bomb'Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Are you in high school? It sounds like you are in high school.

    Eat it You Nasty Pig. on
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  • Gandalf_the_CrazedGandalf_the_Crazed Vigilo ConfidoRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Depending on the impression he has given Girl A (as it sounds like he has convinced her, in some way, that they are "going places"?), he may or may not be acting like a bit of a jerk to her. But morally wrong? No, definitely not.

    Gandalf_the_Crazed on
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  • Inquisitor77Inquisitor77 2 x Penny Arcade Fight Club Champion A fixed point in space and timeRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Dyscord wrote: »
    Are you in high school? It sounds like you are in high school.

    Inquisitor77 on
  • PracticalProblemSolverPracticalProblemSolver Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Holding hands, being cute and hell, even making love or just plain fucking someone is not some sort of contractual agreement granting exclusive privileges. Girl A obviously has some sort of expectations that are not being properly communicated to your friend, she needs to clear things up with your friend, directly.

    ps Don't worry, middle school might feel like it takes forever, but it'll be over before you know it! Enjoy the summer break.

    PracticalProblemSolver on
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