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Shipped my computer from Seattle to St. Louis and got it all set up today. In the process of putting the 3d card back in (I had removed it for safe keeping) I took the sound card (Soundblaster X-Fi XTreme Gamer or Music, can't remember which) out, which might or might not have done anything. I put it back in.
Anyways I started up my computer and I had no sound. The computer still saw the sound card. When I went into Sound and Audio Devices all the options were grayed out. Pretty weird, eh? Reseating the card does nothing. Updating/reinstalling drivers did nothing. I uninstalled the drivers completely and now it won't let me reinstall them because it can't see the sound card. I see a "PCI Device" in my Device Manager and it has the :!: on its icon which I think means conflict or something but after removing the drivers my X-Fi is no longer in the Device Manager. It was, though, back before I removed the drivers, and at that point it said it was working perfectly (when it clearly wasn't).
Google-fu turned up this thread which has a number of people with a similar problem and a few people who have clearly unrelated problems. Nothing approaching a comprehensive fix can be found in there though.
So, why did my sound card stop working all of a sudden? Did it get bricked while the computer was being shipped? This seems unlikely and the card looks fine from the outside. Even the microphone jack, which lights up so you can see where to plug the mic in, is lit up and everything. For a while the computer detected the card. Why doesn't it work?!?!?!?