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Is there no hope for me?

CephalicCarnageCephalicCarnage Registered User regular
edited December 2006 in Help / Advice Forum
Im from new jersey. Im athiest. I joined the air force. They stationed me in abilene texas, the city with the most churches per square mile in america.
Im looking for a girlfriend, basicly.and being in the military, there arent many girls here, and i would prefer to not be with a military girl anyways. i dont know what to do to meet girls here. my friend goes to church and hangs out with girls at "bible study" i am not going to go to church to pick up girls. He also does not want to hang out with me because im athiest, he didnt say this but i have sources. now i have other friends but they are all over 21 so i cant hang with them realy. i will be 21 in a few months, and it will be easier to meet girls then because you can go out and party n shit. But girls also wont want me because i am athiest, and being that this is a ridiculously religious town, my pickings are slim. the town is also isolated from everywhere else, at least 2 hours in every direction...............................

i dont know what to do! :(

We are not evil because of the evil things we do, we do evil because we ARE evil.
CephalicCarnage on

Posts

  • LondonBridgeLondonBridge __BANNED USERS regular
    edited December 2006
    Dude, when you discrimanate that means less pussy for you. Who cares what religion they are as long as you like them. You need to get off that athiest high horse of yours. Also, military girls are good to date as well since they're tested and you'll have things in common.

    LondonBridge on
  • CephalicCarnageCephalicCarnage Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    lol im on no "high horse"i said its the religious girls that wont want me. i have already tried to get with them, and no go because i was athiest.

    CephalicCarnage on
    We are not evil because of the evil things we do, we do evil because we ARE evil.
  • DakDak Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Just don't bring up the subject of religion. It's not that likely of coming up, and if it eventually does, hopefully they'll be enamored with you and it won't be enough reason to break up with you.

    Dak on
    GAWink.jpg
  • MahnmutMahnmut Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    lol im on no "high horse"i said its the religious girls that wont want me. i have already tried to get with them, and no go because i was athiest.

    How did this work? Was it instant rejection? If so, why? I mean, do girls in this town commonly check your religious credentials first thing when you ask them out? Do you say, hi, you're neat, let's date, btw I'm an atheist is that all right? Because in the first situation... bummer. In the second, the fact that you might be bringing up religion very early on would probably be a turnoff in itself. Absolutely do not lie or even prevaricate, but don't force the issue to surface early--you might slip in under notions of tolerance or making allowances if they have a chance to decide that you're a pretty cool guy.

    If your experience is that the relationship ends the moment it comes up, even if you've been dating for a while... bummer. But there's hope! Keep looking.

    Mahnmut on
    Steam/LoL: Jericho89
  • xxhennersxxxxhennersxx Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Mahnmut wrote:
    lol im on no "high horse"i said its the religious girls that wont want me. i have already tried to get with them, and no go because i was athiest.

    How did this work? Was it instant rejection? If so, why? I mean, do girls in this town commonly check your religious credentials first thing when you ask them out? Do you say, hi, you're neat, let's date, btw I'm an atheist is that all right? Because in the first situation... bummer. In the second, the fact that you might be bringing up religion very early on would probably be a turnoff in itself. Absolutely do not lie or even prevaricate, but don't force the issue to surface early--you might slip in under notions of tolerance or making allowances if they have a chance to decide that you're a pretty cool guy.

    If your experience is that the relationship ends the moment it comes up, even if you've been dating for a while... bummer. But there's hope! Keep looking.

    I've had it happen.

    she was really into me and was like "so what church do you go to?" and i said "um..I'm agnostic." and she went from :D to :cry: pretty quickly and the rest of hte date was...well...uneventful.

    it happens. some people are like that.

    xxhennersxx on
  • CephalicCarnageCephalicCarnage Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    its a very religious place. the first question they ask is "what church do you go to?" since there is like a million there. then im like "i dont go im athiest" and then they dnt want to talk to me anymore. but when i can carry on a long enuff conversation for them to like me, it comes up sooner or later, and they are all dissapointed and im screwed.

    edit- It realy sucks, im all depressed and desperate for a girl. i know not everybody here is super religious, but i dont know where to find them. There are some bars and a couple clubs, but im not realy into the club scene, but add some alcohol and maybe lol. In 3 months i turn 21 so i can go out with the guys to the clubs and bars and shit, and maybe ill meet some girls, make some female friends, maybe find a girl like that. It was so much easier in highschool, girls everywhere, just talk to whoever, but now i gotta go hunt them down lol its insanity!

    CephalicCarnage on
    We are not evil because of the evil things we do, we do evil because we ARE evil.
  • Chop LogicChop Logic Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Damn, that sucks. Well at least once you find one you'll both have something big in common.

    Goodluck.

    Chop Logic on
  • ViolentChemistryViolentChemistry __BANNED USERS regular
    edited December 2006
    i dont know what to do! :(
    Masturbate.

    Edit: Seriously though, towns like that have plenty of girls who aren't religious, they don't go yelling about it because they have to live amongst people who are religious to often super-creepy degrees. How do you find them? Same way you find girls anywhere, by talking to a lot of them casually.

    ViolentChemistry on
  • ege02ege02 __BANNED USERS regular
    edited December 2006
    Can't you request a transfer to another base? If having a girlfriend is so important, maybe you should consider it.

    And why are you actively looking for a girlfriend anyway? That attitude in and of itself will scare off a lot of girls.

    ege02 on
  • Lucky CynicLucky Cynic Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    I would just not mention religion and bottle up that opinion of yours. Sure it kinda sucks, but keeping stuff like this to yourself makes things go by smoother. People might ask what is your faith but I just come up with a good one line awnser. I usually, say something like, "I just choose not to believe in any modern mainstream religions." That usually sums up everything and people woln't ask too many more questions or anything and if they do, just continue coming up with awnsers that don't give out too much information or spark much more conversation, which is hard with a subject like religion. Also, try not to limit yourself. Go ahead and date a Christian girl, but obviously not the ones with 200 crosses around the house or the ones who praise Jesus every three seconds.

    Tl:Dr, if you keep your religion to yourself, chances are, she will do the same. Though yeah, that doesn't always happen.

    Lucky Cynic on
  • aesiraesir __BANNED USERS regular
    edited December 2006
    ummm hit up bars. I've never spoken to a girl that I met at a bar about religions. ever.

    aesir on
  • WylderWylder Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Hes not 21 yet. He already said that once he is 21 he will do this.

    Wylder on
    No sig for you!
  • malkothmalkoth Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Would engaging said girls in a religious exchange work? Kinda like find out why they believe in what they do and how they came about it. Im not having much luck with girls lately either so take my advice with a grain of salt.

    malkoth on
    "Be who you are, and say what you feel because those who mind dont matter, and those who matter dont mind." - Dr. Seuss
  • AndorienAndorien Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    malkoth wrote:
    Would engaging said girls in a religious exchange work? Kinda like find out why they believe in what they do and how they came about it. Im not having much luck with girls lately either so take my advice with a grain of salt.

    I dunno, a LOT of people can get extremely defensive about their beliefs. Even if he's not a dick about it, it might just dig a deeper hole.

    Andorien on
  • CephalicCarnageCephalicCarnage Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Andorien wrote:
    malkoth wrote:
    Would engaging said girls in a religious exchange work? Kinda like find out why they believe in what they do and how they came about it. Im not having much luck with girls lately either so take my advice with a grain of salt.

    I dunno, a LOT of people can get extremely defensive about their beliefs. Even if he's not a dick about it, it might just dig a deeper hole.

    oh yes, they get EXTREMELY angry, very fast, about absolutly nothing. and it realy pisses me off that they get so mad. and its not like im being a dick about somthing, like he said, im just talking to them about what religious stuff they want to talk about and they get pissed off.

    CephalicCarnage on
    We are not evil because of the evil things we do, we do evil because we ARE evil.
  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Try this.

    Fort Worth is about a 2 to 2.5 hour drive from Abilene. Dallas is about another half hour to 45 minutes away. Drive down on a Friday and see the sights. There are a metric fuckton of places to go. If you decide to roll out this weekend, PM me. New Years would be better. I live in North Dallas and I'd be happy to show you around.

    p.s. I was in the Marines for a while out in SoCal. I know how boring that shit gets.

    p.p.s. You do have a car, right?

    Darth Waiter on
  • CephalicCarnageCephalicCarnage Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Try this.

    Fort Worth is about a 2 to 2.5 hour drive from Abilene. Dallas is about another half hour to 45 minutes away. Drive down on a Friday and see the sights. There are a metric fuckton of places to go. If you decide to roll out this weekend, PM me. New Years would be better. I live in North Dallas and I'd be happy to show you around.

    p.s. I was in the Marines for a while out in SoCal. I know how boring that shit gets.

    p.p.s. You do have a car, right?

    I do have a car, im fairly new to driving so i have been scared to drive out to dallas for fear of getting horribly lost lolz. That sounds cool man, ive got the next 12 days off, and i have no idea what im going to do during that time. Ill PM you later im at work right now.

    CephalicCarnage on
    We are not evil because of the evil things we do, we do evil because we ARE evil.
  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited December 2006
    This weekend is for the family, but I could sneak away for a few hours. Oh, shit! My sister is in town as well. She and I can't hang unless we're drinking. It's on, son.

    Darth Waiter on
  • WeeSneakWeeSneak Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    I hate to say this but if there is no superior power, then there is no us, in any sense of the form, from creationism to evolution-ism thats basically the way it is. I think therefore i am, i am therefore i am here, i am here therefore i came from something.

    I dont believe in God, i believe in something. Dunno what, but since im here, its gotta be there. Ive found i get on alot better with the holy joes with this attitude than i did in my atheist days.

    So do that.....or lie. :wink:

    WeeSneak on
    sigmh7.jpg
  • CephalicCarnageCephalicCarnage Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Who made god?

    CephalicCarnage on
    We are not evil because of the evil things we do, we do evil because we ARE evil.
  • WeeSneakWeeSneak Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Exactly, and who made who made god? And who made it? And who made that? It goes on and on but the atheist point of view that the beginning of creation just blinked into fucking existence is as stupid as Christianity.

    Point is unless there was something, we arent actually here. But we are, which means there is.

    WeeSneak on
    sigmh7.jpg
  • localh77localh77 Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    WeeSneak wrote:
    Exactly, and who made who made god? And who made it? And who made that? It goes on and on but the atheist point of view that the beginning of creation just blinked into fucking existence is as stupid as Christianity.

    Point is unless there was something, we arent actually here. But we are, which means there is.

    I know you're trying to help, but that's a terrible argument. And really not the best advice; "I can't get women, they're all religious and I'm not" - "You should just believe in God, then"

    To the OP, women (well, people in general) are all up and down the spectrum, from crazy religious to christmas and easter service only religious. I'm an atheist, and I've dated several religious girls and it worked fine (usually). Sometimes they're dating you just in the hope that you'll convert, but sometimes they really don't care that much. I would just recommend being quiet about your atheism. If someone asks, by all means answer, but otherwise try to keep the conversation away from religion.

    localh77 on
  • CephalicCarnageCephalicCarnage Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Nothing was created. All that exists, always existed. In this mindset, you start thinking about time and such, like what was there before all that existed, in time. But realy, there is no time. ahaha its a crazy argument! but we shouldnt do it here. also that part of the argument is not very refined for me yet.

    anyways, i pretty much never ever bring up religion, its them! its all them! uhg!!

    CephalicCarnage on
    We are not evil because of the evil things we do, we do evil because we ARE evil.
  • ThanatosThanatos Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Do not turn this into a D&D religion thread, or I will start banning people.

    Thanatos on
  • CephalicCarnageCephalicCarnage Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    What the fizzle is a D&D religion thread? you might as well lock it, its over, i dont think anyone has any more advice for me. Ill just wait till im 21 and go out and party and all that, get some female wooo! lolz

    CephalicCarnage on
    We are not evil because of the evil things we do, we do evil because we ARE evil.
  • WeeSneakWeeSneak Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    localh77 wrote:
    WeeSneak wrote:
    Exactly, and who made who made god? And who made it? And who made that? It goes on and on but the atheist point of view that the beginning of creation just blinked into fucking existence is as stupid as Christianity.

    Point is unless there was something, we arent actually here. But we are, which means there is.

    I know you're trying to help, but that's a terrible argument. And really not the best advice; "I can't get women, they're all religious and I'm not" - "You should just believe in God, then"

    To the OP, women (well, people in general) are all up and down the spectrum, from crazy religious to christmas and easter service only religious. I'm an atheist, and I've dated several religious girls and it worked fine (usually). Sometimes they're dating you just in the hope that you'll convert, but sometimes they really don't care that much. I would just recommend being quiet about your atheism. If someone asks, by all means answer, but otherwise try to keep the conversation away from religion.

    All im saying is that a former atheist myself you have to acknowledge something out there. I found after i did this much to my dislike Christian girls where i live started talking to me more.

    So basically just don't take such a serious tone, acknowledge there MIGHT be something there.

    WeeSneak on
    sigmh7.jpg
  • AndorienAndorien Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    WeeSneak wrote:
    localh77 wrote:
    WeeSneak wrote:
    Exactly, and who made who made god? And who made it? And who made that? It goes on and on but the atheist point of view that the beginning of creation just blinked into fucking existence is as stupid as Christianity.

    Point is unless there was something, we arent actually here. But we are, which means there is.

    I know you're trying to help, but that's a terrible argument. And really not the best advice; "I can't get women, they're all religious and I'm not" - "You should just believe in God, then"

    To the OP, women (well, people in general) are all up and down the spectrum, from crazy religious to christmas and easter service only religious. I'm an atheist, and I've dated several religious girls and it worked fine (usually). Sometimes they're dating you just in the hope that you'll convert, but sometimes they really don't care that much. I would just recommend being quiet about your atheism. If someone asks, by all means answer, but otherwise try to keep the conversation away from religion.

    All im saying is that a former atheist myself you have to acknowledge something out there. I found after i did this much to my dislike Christian girls where i live started talking to me more.

    So basically just don't take such a serious tone, acknowledge there MIGHT be something there.

    Asking him to compromise his viewpoint is not the way to go. I'm not going to argue the religion thing with you since this isn't D&D, so I'll just say this:

    Something tells me that if he tells them that he's an atheist, but open to "new" ideas, they'll either not care and just treat him like they've been doing, or go on the whole "evangelize evangelize rofl" kick.

    Andorien on
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    I hate to say this, but lie? I don't think there's a solution, otherwise. I mean, I'm not going to go to a lesbian bar expecting a date. it sucks that you are stuck in this overtly-religious area, but...there's probably not a lot you can do. Hopefully you'll luck out and meet someone non-religious or tolerant of your beliefs.

    Lying is a bad idea, frankly, though that's certainly an option. I say that it's a bad idea not necessarily because of some ideological nonsense like "honesty is the best policy" (though relationships should have a foundation of mutual trust) but more because if you really are very set on Atheism, you probably should not go out with someone very set on Christianity. I mean, you may not be looking for a wife yet, I dunno, but religion is a very important thing to religious people and Atheism and Christianity are philosophically incompatible.

    Either wait 'till you're 21 and hope to meet some non-religious person at random or start chatting people up on MySpace or something. Meeting someone on the internet might work, I dunno.

    Drez on
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