The new forums will be named Coin Return (based on the most recent vote)! You can check on the status and timeline of the transition to the new forums here.
Please vote in the Forum Structure Poll. Polling will close at 2PM EST on January 21, 2025.
ok so I have these 2 friends. Basically, long story; very short is that the dynamic between the 3 of us has changed. me and another dude and a girl. girl is dating someone but sleeping with the other dude. There was a shitty event that took place involving him being blackout drunk and while I forgave a few things he did, I can't help but feel the dynamic is just different now.
So basically I hate seeing them anywhere close to each other and almost can't stand hanging out with both of them at the same time. I kinda wanna tell the girls boyfriend, but also I'm considering just dropping 1 of the friends. The guy is a much closer friend to me. The girl is cool, but ever since these things occured she just aggrivates me.
So, what's a good way to tell if the dynamic really *has* changed and what's a good solution to said dynamic shift?
This one isnt tough. I'd say just dont invite the girl out on anything you and the guy do together. This kind of situation has happened to me a few times, where somone does something that is just so morally bad that it makes me question their character and makes me no longer trust them. I just cut these kinds of people out of my life.
Friends are great, but not friends that intentionally make morally corrupt choices for their own amusement/benefit. Thats my opinion on it anyhow.
This chick kinda sounds like my ex GF, she did/still does that kind of stuff, dating one dude then going and hooking up with somone else and lying about it. Then she'd spaz out and make this big drama scene about how horrible said guy is for turning around and being an asshole to her and she did "nothing to disserve it" when we all know she probably fucked around on the poor sap. Again, like she does to everybody. People like that tend to be filled with lies and excuses for everything.
Just thought I might switch it up. But seriously you might want to express to them the problem you have with their actions and allow them to explain it away which might be a better solution than cutting ties. Or if they have no problem with the action and are intending to keep doing it tell them to break it off w/ the other guy. If that still doesn't work meh, you're not dating them.
Sounds more to me that your jealous said girl wasn't with you. Either that or you're not very close with these guys.
elfdude on
Every man is wise when attacked by a mad dog; fewer when pursued by a mad woman; only the wisest survive when attacked by a mad notion.
ioga is right on. The important this is DO NOT tell the boyfriend. repeat: DO NOT. It's always better to talk it out with the cheaters, especially if they're better friends of yours than the cheatee.
Posts
Friends are great, but not friends that intentionally make morally corrupt choices for their own amusement/benefit. Thats my opinion on it anyhow.
This chick kinda sounds like my ex GF, she did/still does that kind of stuff, dating one dude then going and hooking up with somone else and lying about it. Then she'd spaz out and make this big drama scene about how horrible said guy is for turning around and being an asshole to her and she did "nothing to disserve it" when we all know she probably fucked around on the poor sap. Again, like she does to everybody. People like that tend to be filled with lies and excuses for everything.
Is this a completely intangible feeling, or are you angry at them for the indiscretion?
The dynamic has changed... there's no such thing as thinking that's the case when it isn't... just means it's probably only with you.
If you're uncomfortable about it, talk to them... if you don't think it's worth their friendship, find new friends.
Just thought I might switch it up. But seriously you might want to express to them the problem you have with their actions and allow them to explain it away which might be a better solution than cutting ties. Or if they have no problem with the action and are intending to keep doing it tell them to break it off w/ the other guy. If that still doesn't work meh, you're not dating them.
Sounds more to me that your jealous said girl wasn't with you. Either that or you're not very close with these guys.
I'm sorry, but what does that even mean? Dynamic? What?
It sounds like your friends are bangin each other, one of whom is doing so behind their significant other's back.
There's not much you can do - you can voice your disapproval, you can stop associating with them or you can suck it up and get over it.
In either case, I'd have to agree that you should make some different friends.