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The Olympics: Yes, We're Doing This A Goddamn Year Early
Gosling
Looking Up Soccer In Mongolia Right Now, ProbablyWatertown, WIRegistered User regular
Looking Up Soccer In Mongolia Right Now, ProbablyWatertown, WIRegistered User regular
And why are we doing this a goddamn year early? Because a nice starter has popped up in the past week.
If you go deep into your dial, have the full cable package, or get a little bit lucky, you might get a channel called Versus. It's the place they buried the NHL after it died, but that's not important. What's important is that it is airing the 2007 track and field championships from Osaka, Japan. I find it to be a microcosm of everything parent company NBC does when airing the Olympics, except for the constant fluff pieces of people who go on to either a) win the gold, or b) wind up a laughingstock. Here's what you'll see if you watch the coverage of the track meet:
*Extensive previews of all American athletes.
*Moderate coverage of their primary rivals, unless the announcers have decided that the Americans have no rivals, in which case they just spend every second they can squeeze in before the gun fawning over the American. Even if they lose.
*Coverage of everyone else that amounts to "oh, and here's THIS guy, apparently he's halfway decent too". Even if they win. (In the 4x100 meter relay, they went so far as to not even give the NAMES of the runners for any teams except the US and rivals Jamaica and Germany. This includes Japan, who as you will recall is the host nation.)
*Entire races spent focusing on the American/s, ignoring whoever might ACTUALLY be in the lead (unless it is a rival) until the moment the winner crosses the line. And then they are ignored again to go back to the American.
*Events where Americans do not feature prominently are treated as sidebars. If it is a field event, exactly four people- the top four finishers as of the end of that round of competition- will be shown. Nobody else even gets on air. (If Americans do feature, it's the top four plus the Americans.)
*Interviews of only Americans. Even if the winner is not American but speaks English. Because, really: fuck you, Jamaica. You and all your gold medalists who speak fluent English and were in the neighboring lane.
*When recapping who qualifies for the next round (if it's not a final), the announcers will only say variations of the phrase "(number) Americans (names, if applicable) qualified for the next round." If there are rivals, and if those rivals are very lucky, they may have their name heard... ON TELEVISION.
*Should they wish to show you a medal ceremony, guess what anthem you're going to be hearing. Go on. Guess.
Olympics coverage is different in the following ways:
*Perhaps, if you ask nice, they'll give an interview to one of those filthy foreigners that for some reason don't want the glorious Americans to have all the medals.
*More medal ceremonies, but the ones where Americans didn't win risk being talked over by the announcers to the point where the viewer can't hear the fucking anthem of the nation that DID win. They particularly like talking over the Italian anthem. They get so wrapped up in how awesome the Italian anthem is that they leave no time for anyone to actually hear it.
*Fluff pieces. Like I said. They all feature either Americans, foreigners for whom winning is more or less inevitable unless they get hit in the head with a brick, or an American who's spent their entire life in the States and has no business being in the Olympics under normal circumstances but then decided to compete under some other countries' flag, usually due to dual citizenship. The identity of that country is usually irrelevant. (The actual event, you will be reminded that even though this guy may be COMPETING under the flag of, say, Kiribati, he's actually an American and you need to remember that. Boo Kiribati! USA! USA! USA!)
*The Parade of Nations skipping over blocks of several countries at a time, but staying there for the entire session of showing all the Americans several times so it looks like they have 14 million athletes as opposed to everyone else that brought only a couple hundred athletes, and sometimes as few as a single guy. Those poor bastards. Don't they know that the country that brings the most athletes wins all the medals, has the most fun, and are the best overall people?
Seriously. This shit goes on for the entire Games.
Topic? Consider this an Olympics equivalent to the NFL, MLB and soccer threads. A goddamn year early.
If you go deep into your dial, have the full cable package, or get a little bit lucky, you might get a channel called Versus. It's the place they buried the NHL after it died, but that's not important. What's important is that it is airing the 2007 track and field championships from Osaka, Japan. I find it to be a microcosm of everything parent company NBC does when airing the Olympics, except for the constant fluff pieces of people who go on to either a) win the gold, or b) wind up a laughingstock. Here's what you'll see if you watch the coverage of the track meet:
*Extensive previews of all American athletes.
*Moderate coverage of their primary rivals, unless the announcers have decided that the Americans have no rivals, in which case they just spend every second they can squeeze in before the gun fawning over the American. Even if they lose.
*Coverage of everyone else that amounts to "oh, and here's THIS guy, apparently he's halfway decent too". Even if they win. (In the 4x100 meter relay, they went so far as to not even give the NAMES of the runners for any teams except the US and rivals Jamaica and Germany. This includes Japan, who as you will recall is the host nation.)
*Entire races spent focusing on the American/s, ignoring whoever might ACTUALLY be in the lead (unless it is a rival) until the moment the winner crosses the line. And then they are ignored again to go back to the American.
*Events where Americans do not feature prominently are treated as sidebars. If it is a field event, exactly four people- the top four finishers as of the end of that round of competition- will be shown. Nobody else even gets on air. (If Americans do feature, it's the top four plus the Americans.)
*Interviews of only Americans. Even if the winner is not American but speaks English. Because, really: fuck you, Jamaica. You and all your gold medalists who speak fluent English and were in the neighboring lane.
*When recapping who qualifies for the next round (if it's not a final), the announcers will only say variations of the phrase "(number) Americans (names, if applicable) qualified for the next round." If there are rivals, and if those rivals are very lucky, they may have their name heard... ON TELEVISION.
*Should they wish to show you a medal ceremony, guess what anthem you're going to be hearing. Go on. Guess.
Olympics coverage is different in the following ways:
*Perhaps, if you ask nice, they'll give an interview to one of those filthy foreigners that for some reason don't want the glorious Americans to have all the medals.
*More medal ceremonies, but the ones where Americans didn't win risk being talked over by the announcers to the point where the viewer can't hear the fucking anthem of the nation that DID win. They particularly like talking over the Italian anthem. They get so wrapped up in how awesome the Italian anthem is that they leave no time for anyone to actually hear it.
*Fluff pieces. Like I said. They all feature either Americans, foreigners for whom winning is more or less inevitable unless they get hit in the head with a brick, or an American who's spent their entire life in the States and has no business being in the Olympics under normal circumstances but then decided to compete under some other countries' flag, usually due to dual citizenship. The identity of that country is usually irrelevant. (The actual event, you will be reminded that even though this guy may be COMPETING under the flag of, say, Kiribati, he's actually an American and you need to remember that. Boo Kiribati! USA! USA! USA!)
*The Parade of Nations skipping over blocks of several countries at a time, but staying there for the entire session of showing all the Americans several times so it looks like they have 14 million athletes as opposed to everyone else that brought only a couple hundred athletes, and sometimes as few as a single guy. Those poor bastards. Don't they know that the country that brings the most athletes wins all the medals, has the most fun, and are the best overall people?
Seriously. This shit goes on for the entire Games.
Topic? Consider this an Olympics equivalent to the NFL, MLB and soccer threads. A goddamn year early.
I have a new soccer blog The Minnow Tank. Reading it psychically kicks Sepp Blatter in the bean bag.
Gosling on
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In 2004 the USA had their big breakthrough with their first ever Olympic medals in fencing, a gold (Mariel Zagunis) and bronze (Sada Jacobson) in the same event, Individual Women's Saber. Since WS is a new addition to the Olympics, the committee ruled that fencing can only have 10 events, so they were going to cut two events already in. They got their heads on straight eventually, because doesn't swimming have like 50 freaking events already?
The USA is a giant powerhouse in WS because we've had the same time to compete as the other countries, whereas in the other weapons European and Asian countries have several decades of experience on us. Although we almost pulled out a bronze in Team Men's Saber, but lost by 1 point to get into the final, and then again by 1 point to take the bronze.
But for the Women's Saber event, Rebecca Ward is going to own faces. She's already taken out Mariel a few times in international competition along with every other saber fencer on the planet. I really can't afford to go to Beijing for the 2008 Olympics, but I really want to go to London in 2012 as a spectator (or competitor... but most likely as a spectator).
Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!
The woman in the outside lane on the first leg of the relay had really bad form.
Are they playing Baseball this time? And are any of you filthy steroid pumping yanks turning up?
what are you talking about?
took out her barrettes and her hair spilled out like rootbeer
It is not perfectly fine to seemingly ignore the fact that there are nearly 200 other countries that are also competing. If all I wished to see were the Americans, I'd watch the US Olympic Trials, or the US Championships.
Am I correct in thinking that the host country can drop or add a certain number of sports? I think I saw somewhere that one of the olympic sports in 2012 will be cricket. If I am correct what will the special sports be in Beijing?
http://www.snopes.com/politics/sexuality/doping.asp
All I remember is the amount of fluff pieces last time made this stuff nearly unwatchable.
I really really really hope that is false.
Wow, a scare tactic from an anti-choice group! It must be true!
Also, I like the coverage CBC does. NBC is horrible every time I flip to it.
took out her barrettes and her hair spilled out like rootbeer
It should be false, because I think it's based on faulty - or at least somewhat counter-balanced - science. Women in the peak of their cycle generally have slightly looser muscles around their pelvis, because, nominally the body is kind of getting ready for a pregnancy. There's a statistical correlation to a higher rate of injuries during that time in some sports (hence why it's optimum to bash the whole thing out with birth control pills). I would've thought actually getting pregnant might make that issue worse, in a sport where among other things you're landing rather solidly on your feet.
Fuck I'm going to go look that up now to make sure I've got it right before I get killed by other scientists...
EDIT: Woo! Link
It doesn't say anything about pregnancy, but it occurs to me that the same basic hormones are involved so it seems likely the same issues might present.
I was hoping the 2012 special sport would be Tiddlywinks - not exactly a sport, but one of the other options was darts so I consider it fair game. Anyway.
I've found that digital TV has greatly helped my enjoyment of the Olympics - I can skip all the track events which, to me, are excruciatingly dull, and watch some of the less popular stuff.
"Look! I'm running really fast in a straight line!"
"Ruben Giamatti was different as a child. For you see, he was born without benefit of a butt. Whenever he ate, his waste would drop wherever he walked. This was just as well, as his little bony stump where his rectum should have been would make it extremely hard to sit on the toilet.
As he stood there in the shower, in his darkest and most disgusting hour, he grabbed his arrow set and literally shot the shit. Then it dawned on him. Now he has arrived in Beijing at the biggest stage of all."
"We go now to the finals of men's archery event, with Lukas Rosinger of Austria facing Jorge Farinello of Venezuela. Ruben Giamatti was defeated in the first round 49-3 by Harmon Tapoki of the Cook Islands, but what a courageous showing by Giamatti. He only impaled four referees! ...as we watch Rosinger win the gold medal. Now watch this brilliant shot by Giamatti where he scrapes the edge of the scoring area..."
Seriously, though, we kick ass in sprints and short distance speed races. I think the next closest competitors tend to be Jamaica, Russia, and maybe some Eastern European country. Occasionally Britain or Canada will field a team with decent speed, but we generally own that sort of thing.
I really want to catch ping pong.
Also, if that's all Argentina cares, they may as well keep their basketball team home next year.
IN:
China, Spain, Angola, Iran, USA, Argentina, Australia.
OPEN SPOTS:
2 European spots, 3 wild-cards.
EUROPEAN FIELD:
Greece, Russia, Serbia, Israel, Spain, Croatia, Latvia, Portugal, Germany, Turkey, Lithuania, Czech Republic, France, Slovenia, Italy, Poland. (Finalists go through to Beijing, the next four hit the wild-card tourney.)
WILD-CARD FIELD (tourney to be held in July):
Puerto Rico, Brazil, Canada, Cameroon, Cape Verde, Lebanon, South Korea, New Zealand, 4 European teams.
I'll take Greece to win in Europe. I'm still waiting for Sofo to come down to LA and suit up for the Clips. With Brand out they could sure use him.
Also, I freakin' hate Bob Costass and his innane banter... I'm going to avoid watching the opening and closing ceremonies just because of him. Hey Bob, why don't you make fun of the names of genocide-wracked African nations again? It was so funny the first time! :x
Am I the only one worried about the air quality in Beujing? I have heard they are taking some measures to improve the air quality... but I fear it may not be enough. Someone please tell me I'm being a worry-wart.
On a positive note, I will never forget the greatest Olympic Moment in recent memory: The USA Basketball team getting spanked by Puerto Rico!
Two words: Tape Delay
I have 549 Rock Band Drum and 305 Pro Drum FC's
REFS REFS REFS REFS REFS REFS REFS REFS
You're not. Beijing is is pretty damn bad.
Report.
This distresses me, because I love the Olympics.
Ng Security Industries, Inc.
PRERELEASE VERSION-NOT FOR FIELD USE - DO NOT TEST IN A POPULATED AREA
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But really. NBC's coverage of the Olympics is HORRIBLE. I could do with a short piece on an individual athlete once in a while. NOT two or three before every event, full of jump cuts and flashy shots of the athlete staring angrily into the camera. NO MORE BOB COSTAS asking Lindsay Jacobson (was that her name?) ten times how bad she REALLY felt when she threw that gold medal away in boarder cross. Seriously FUCK Bob Costas.
If I could get CBC I would totally watch on that. I would pay a reasonable amount of money for a channel (or channels) that simply showed coverage of events. Maybe with commercials. With little to no announcing, and as much full coverage as possible. This means not just showing the finals of fencing or badminton. This means showing preliminaries and semifinals and whatnot. This means showing javelin throwers and jumpers throughout their events. RHYTHMIC GYMNASTICS! SPEEDWALKING! KAYAKING!
Sadly I'll be missing most of that. Damn you, Bob Costas.
Postscript: At the first X-Games after the Olympics- basically her shot at redemption- she got to the finals again. She got to the final jump again.
She fell on her ass again. She got silver again. I laughed so hard I couldn't even type for a few minutes.
If the Olympics could handle Los Angeles in 1984, they can probably handle Beijing.
In LA in 1984, 2 of every 5 days had unhealthy ozone levels, 1 of 5 days had unhealthy carbon monoxide levels, and 1 of 100 days had unhealthy nitrogen levels. And that was with the City shutting down factories and begging people to reduce driving.
So she's like the Xtreme version of Dan Jansen.
And Bonnie Blair along with him. (Pewaukee.)
Haha that's just terrible. Maybe Bob Costas should interview her about it in front of a fireplace with his legs crossed in a smarmy manner.
But honestly you guys. Badminton!
Basically like he's doing now, but even more so. He'll be out of the States more than he's in it by the time the nominees are official.