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I've never shit my pants

2

Posts

  • UnbreakableVowUnbreakableVow Don't fuck with a witch Time to go VROOM!Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    What

    the

    fuck

    XbJml1e.jpg?1
    I feel like a fucking celebrity in this town! | PSN: UnbreakableVow | Wii U: UnbreakableVow26
  • the Professorthe Professor PONY ROMNEY DOES NOT CARE PONY ROMNEY WILL CUT YOUR FUNDINGRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Zephos wrote: »
    I never spit in public toilets because i'm afraid that a microscopic line of spittle will trail down to the toilet bowl, then upon disconnecting with the main mass slingshot all sorts of nasties into my mouth.

    I know that this scenario is unlikely, and possibly even impossible, but it still freaks me out.

    man you haven't lived until you've vomited into a public toilet with pee and old shit inside and the mixture splashes back up into your face

    the professor is the best poster this forum has ever had hth
  • L|amaL|ama Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    hey fun fact the chlorine smell in public pools and stuff isn't actually chlorine itself but chloramine compounds which come from the reaction of pool chlorine and ammonia

    guess where most of the ammonia comes from

  • HoukHouk Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    i have a terrible bladder though, and am in constant fear of pissing myself while drunk or high
    im the same way. once i start drinking i am peeing every 3 seconds. and it sneaks up on me like lightning and i have come close to drunkenly pissing myself so many times. frankly i am lucky its never happened

    also one time i had REAAALLY bad constipation. for like, 3 or 4 days straight. it was ready to go to, but when i sat down it felt like trying to push jabba the hutt through a keyhole. i honestly thought i was gonna rip my asshole apart. so i got the great idea to eat an entire can of pringles, which was using that fake butter shit that gave me the runs like whoa. cut to 3 hours later, im releasing waste for a solid minute with the biggest, happiest smile on my face

    oh also on the subject of poop, i went to the bathroom at a train station the other day. and in japan they use these squat toilets where its basically just an oblong porcelain hole on the floor. and i stepped into the stall and there were two HUGE logs sitting halfway off the bowl ledge and on the tile floor. it was the biggest poop ive ever seen in japan and i came about half an inch from plowing right into it

    nipplessig.jpg
  • MaceraMacera Registered User
    edited January 2010
    what the fuck is wrong with you people

    xet8c.gif
  • VALVEjunkieVALVEjunkie Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    L|ama wrote: »
    hey fun fact the chlorine smell in public pools and stuff isn't actually chlorine itself but chloramine compounds which come from the reaction of pool chlorine and ammonia

    guess where most of the ammonia comes from

    WORK CAMPS FOR ERRYBODY

    CHILDREN GET OVERTIME

  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    hey guys

    i've never shit Houk's pants either

    just so you know

  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    now, here's a much better question

    how many of you fine heterosexual men know the taste of semen

    your own, or someone else's

    tell me that story

    because it will amuse me

  • VALVEjunkieVALVEjunkie Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    >_>

    <_<

    no comment
    Spoiler:

  • ThatDudeOverThereThatDudeOverThere hasn't seen the movie just likes the titleRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    I've shit Houk's pants before

    true story

    nHu0VJL.png
    My Youtube My Steam SMITE IGN: TDOTCRFH4 come SMITE with me
  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited January 2010
    Pony wrote: »
    now, here's a much better question

    how many of you fine heterosexual men know the taste of semen

    your own, or someone else's

    tell me that story

    because it will amuse me

    nuzak thread

    belruelotterav-1.jpg
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    >_>

    <_<

    no comment
    Spoiler:

    hahahah beautiful

  • Volucrisus AedriusVolucrisus Aedrius Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    I know what semen tastes like because I got curious because girls were always like "ewww it is so gross" and I wanted to know why their sexual discharges were somehow delicious in comparison to that of men.

    Really, the texture is the worst part.

    Dex Dynamo wrote: »
    Keith wrote:
    What would be your ultimate slam dunk??
    I would dunk it so hard my parents would love each other again
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
  • VALVEjunkieVALVEjunkie Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Pony wrote: »
    >_>

    <_<

    no comment
    Spoiler:

    hahahah beautiful

    ONE TIME I SWEAR

    pony i thought you of all people would know about that book

  • Volucrisus AedriusVolucrisus Aedrius Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Wait you think Cal keeps a gallon of semen in his fridge just because? He cooks with it, dear boy.

    Dex Dynamo wrote: »
    Keith wrote:
    What would be your ultimate slam dunk??
    I would dunk it so hard my parents would love each other again
  • FedoraFedora Registered User
    edited January 2010
    I did not realize that not shitting your pants was something to be proud of.

    Really you guys?

    We are really setting the bar low here.

  • VALVEjunkieVALVEjunkie Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Fedora wrote: »
    I did not realize that not shitting your pants was something to be proud of.

    Really you guys?

    We are really setting the bar low here.

    so low its in china

  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Fedora wrote: »
    I did not realize that not shitting your pants was something to be proud of.

    Really you guys?

    We are really setting the bar low here.

    pfft

    motherfucker

    do you want me to even start

    i will show you how deep your rabbit hole goes

  • FedoraFedora Registered User
    edited January 2010
    Pony wrote: »
    Fedora wrote: »
    I did not realize that not shitting your pants was something to be proud of.

    Really you guys?

    We are really setting the bar low here.

    pfft

    motherfucker

    do you want me to even start

    i will show you how deep your rabbit hole goes

    Go ahead, I dare ya! Oh snap, Ewok celebration just came on grooveshark.

    everybody shut up for a second.

  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    holy shit that was a hell of a freudian slip

    i'm not even going to edit that

    just gonna leave that one out there

    god damn

  • DhalphirDhalphir don't you open that trapdoor you're a fool if you dareRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Callius wrote: »
    Tonkka wrote: »
    Yeah I've never been able to feel okay about that.

    Yuck.
    It's not like you're in a location specifically designed to clean you up.

    PEE AWAY! Sometimes, I'll turn on the shower and take a wizz INTO it while I'm waiting for the water to heat up.

    hi5

    Tube-san wrote:
    I apologise for my rudeness desu.
  • the Professorthe Professor PONY ROMNEY DOES NOT CARE PONY ROMNEY WILL CUT YOUR FUNDINGRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Pony wrote: »
    now, here's a much better question

    how many of you fine heterosexual men know the taste of semen

    your own, or someone else's

    tell me that story

    because it will amuse me


    pony you speak as if my lips are not currently enveloped around your erect, throbbing phallus

    lustfully sucking every pearlescent drop of man-cream from your tube steak

    i am typing from my iphone under his desk

    the professor is the best poster this forum has ever had hth
  • Volucrisus AedriusVolucrisus Aedrius Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    There was this kid in high school.

    I do not remember his name, only that we all called him Stinky Mantits.

    Stinky Mantits.

    One day Stinky was sitting there in class and he had to fart, so he farted. And instead of warm, rank air, his ass released a moderate quantity of shit. Being Stinky, he looked at the clock. Boy, he thinks, maybe I can make it to the end of class before anyone notices!

    Only they did, and he finally had to get out prematurely when everyone around him was like "oh my god you shat your pants! get the fuck out of here!"

    Dex Dynamo wrote: »
    Keith wrote:
    What would be your ultimate slam dunk??
    I would dunk it so hard my parents would love each other again
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Pony wrote: »
    now, here's a much better question

    how many of you fine heterosexual men know the taste of semen

    your own, or someone else's

    tell me that story

    because it will amuse me


    pony you speak as if my lips are not currently enveloped around your erect, throbbing phallus

    lustfully sucking every pearlescent drop of man-cream from your tube steak

    i am typing from my iphone under his desk

    i said heterosexual men, you faggot
    Spoiler:

  • satansfingerssatansfingers Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    if you're blessed with a certain amount of flexibility

    well you'd be crazy not to have a go

  • RaneadosRaneados Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    i have also never shit my pants

    :/

    Dubh wrote: »
    Rane is the future of ancient greek tradition
  • HoukHouk Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Fedora wrote: »
    I did not realize that not shitting your pants was something to be proud of.

    Really you guys?

    We are really setting the bar low here.
    considering how many apparently have shit their pants (and mine), i dont think its an unreasonable place to start

    besides, i did invite people to discuss non-pant-shitting related pride, but the only place we've gone so far is semen-tasting

    this was not unforeseeable

    nipplessig.jpg
  • I Win SwordfightsI Win Swordfights fuck tough be coolRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    The last time i shat myself was in ninth grade with the squirrel

    the worst time was fifth grade.

    I had been feeling sick all day, but in the last ten minutes of the day i knew something was about to get down

    The door was open and I sat next to it so i graded my pack and fucking bolted

    i got in, started to take off my pants but only got half way but over before my ass decided to forcibly eject the contents of my colon.

    i said they were half way down and that is important because like a normal person my ass hole is located there as well so half sprayed the walls, half got clipped by my jeans and ran back against me

    i got myself onto the toilet and pooped for about twenty minutes

    i didn't get to wipe. wanna know why? in the boy's bathroom, everyone peed on the toilet paper rolls. i don't know why.

    when i was sure i was done i walked out of the stall as the janitor walked in. i whispered "I'm so sorry" and ran.

    I was so worried about having to see him again the next day. I didn't have to.

    He quit.

  • I Win SwordfightsI Win Swordfights fuck tough be coolRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    The last time i shat myself was in ninth grade with the squirrel

    the worst time was fifth grade.

    I had been feeling sick all day, but in the last ten minutes of the day i knew something was about to get down

    The door was open and I sat next to it so i grabbed my pack and fucking bolted

    i got in, started to take off my pants but only got half way but over before my ass decided to forcibly eject the contents of my colon.

    i said they were half way down and that is important because like a normal person my ass hole is located there as well so half sprayed the walls, half got clipped by my jeans and ran back against me

    i got myself onto the toilet and pooped for about twenty minutes

    i didn't get to wipe. wanna know why? in the boy's bathroom, everyone peed on the toilet paper rolls. i don't know why.

    when i was sure i was done i walked out of the stall as the janitor walked in. i whispered "I'm so sorry" and ran.
    I was so worried about having to see him again the next day. I didn't have to. He quit.

  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    when i was in ninth grade

    the very first day of high school

    a dude in my second period class shit his pants

    i don't know why, per se, although during homeroom dude was stressed the fuck out and sweating like a pig and stammering and shit

    so maybe he was really sick?

    anyway, he let out a fart and in doing so, shit his pants and it stank really bad, everybody knew it, and when he asked to go the bathroom he had a clearly dark spot on the ass of his pants (catholic school, we had uniforms, which included charcoal grey pants that turned black anywhere they got wet)

    so, as teenagers are a cruel and evil lot, he was eternally named "shithouse"

    which was as clever as such nicknames go, i guess, as his last name was schmaus

    the name shithouse and being mocked and derided followed him all through high school and he even found the loser kids rejected by other people rejecting him

    i remember trying to talk to him once and i am pretty sure, if Asperger's had been the hobgoblin diagnosis it is nowadays back then, he would've been labeled such

    anyway, pretty much sucked to be that guy. shit your pants on the first day of high school, ain't nobody ever let you forget that
    Spoiler:

  • satansfingerssatansfingers Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    how many times have you shat yourself, jesus

  • RaneadosRaneados Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    ahahaha swordfights

    o god

    Dubh wrote: »
    Rane is the future of ancient greek tradition
  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited January 2010
    The last time i shat myself was in ninth grade with the squirrel

    the worst time was fifth grade.

    I had been feeling sick all day, but in the last ten minutes of the day i knew something was about to get down

    The door was open and I sat next to it so i graded my pack and fucking bolted

    i got in, started to take off my pants but only got half way but over before my ass decided to forcibly eject the contents of my colon.

    i said they were half way down and that is important because like a normal person my ass hole is located there as well so half sprayed the walls, half got clipped by my jeans and ran back against me

    i got myself onto the toilet and pooped for about twenty minutes

    i didn't get to wipe. wanna know why? in the boy's bathroom, everyone peed on the toilet paper rolls. i don't know why.

    when i was sure i was done i walked out of the stall as the janitor walked in. i whispered "I'm so sorry" and ran.

    I was so worried about having to see him again the next day. I didn't have to.

    He quit.

    gunner-dog.jpg

    belruelotterav-1.jpg
  • I Win SwordfightsI Win Swordfights fuck tough be coolRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    i double posted that bcause i am on my phone. because i am pooping

  • VALVEjunkieVALVEjunkie Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    ahahahahahaa

    to both posts

  • HoukHouk Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    swordfights im so glad that was the story to get double posted

    now i am off to eat some curry at a lady friend's house

    this absolutely has the makings for a great shit-yourself story, so fingers crossed!

    i really hope this thread is still alive when i get back. my goal for my first thread is 10 pages. aim high, shit low!

    nipplessig.jpg
  • FedoraFedora Registered User
    edited January 2010
    The last time i shat myself was in ninth grade with the squirrel

    If it weren't for my horse...

  • RaneadosRaneados Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    i developed a great digestive system at a young age

    as such i've never had an incident where it was "I AM POOING AGAINST MY WILL"

    Dubh wrote: »
    Rane is the future of ancient greek tradition
2
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