Is there some way to intermingle baby talk with stereotypical old codger talk?
Or maybe text giving a detailed analysis of the scene, the moments before the crime took place, probable motive, the weapon used, etc, followed by baby talk?
It worked in that commercial: (financial stuff) (spitting up) "Whoa..."
I definitely think the original poop version was better. It came accross more like an old man bladder problem sort of joke rather than a baby diaper joke. I laughed. The other one, it was more of a "heh"
I disagree; you could see the poop joke coming a mile off. This one has more layers.
And I saw this coming. Maybe its a personal thing, but I honestly thought while reading it, "The punchline better not be goo goo gah gah."
Also, conisdering the "Adventures of" title, it would seem to the layman that there were either previous, or succeeding comics on this topic. If all he can do is talk like a baby, the humor is lost. There is no punchline for future iterations, as humor is less funny the second time around. If he is capable of speaking he can SPEAK the punch line. no just goo ba boo bo bo.
I mean, has anyone seen Jack? Y'know the movie?
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EncA Fool with CompassionPronouns: He, Him, HisRegistered Userregular
Also, conisdering the "Adventures of" title, it would seem to the layman that there were either previous, or succeeding comics on this topic. If all he can do is talk like a baby, the humor is lost.
This is exactly why it's funny.
In the next iteration the audience comes in with certain expectations. The lazy writer would change the scenario but deliver the same punchline, ad infinitum. The clever writer knows the audience comes in expecting the former and sets up the joke on the strength of that expectation, then delivers something completely unexpected that raises the steaks.
Examples I can give that spring to mind are some from Futurama.
The episode where Bender turns into the Werecar and tends to chase Leela around more than Fry, which causes Fry to grow jealous for fear his Best Friend doesn't reciprocate. This is a running motif through out the episode where Fry gets increasingly more distraught the more Bender chases Leela. In the Third Act when Fry and Leela confront Bender as the Werecar, Bender peels out and aims right at Fry. In this moment the expectation the audience holds is that Fry will run away screaming his head off because the Werecar is after him, but instead, as Fry runs away he's elated and overjoyed because Bender is chasing him, thus, validating his friendship.
The entire Space Chicken Lawyer character is based on this principle.
The plot of "Alls well that Roswell" hinges on this idea: The crew go back in time and The Professor stresses they must not interfere with the timeline for fear of screwing all of everything up. Fry freaks out and decides to protect his Grandfather, thus ensuring he exists, then gets his Grandfather killed, then figures that must not have been his Grandfather since he wasn't erased from history, so that means this saucy 1940's waitress he just slept with couldn't possibly be his Grandmother, right?
It was. He becomes his own grandfather.
"The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings" whole plot is built around this concept, and that episode even has a subplot emphasising this by having Bender calling people out on the misuse of the concept of Irony.
This dialogue:
Leonard Nimoy: Melllvar, you have to respect your actors. When I directed Star Trek IV, I got a magnificent performance out of Bill because I respected him so much.
William Shatner: And when I directed Star Trek V, I got a magnificent performance out of me because I respected me so much.
Bender: Oh, but you can. But you may have to metaphorically make a deal with the devil. And by "devil", I mean Robot Devil. And by "metaphorically", I mean get your coat.
These two are an especially clear example of what I mean, particularly the raising of the steaks.
Fry: Fetal stem cells? Aren't those controversial?
Professor Farnsworth: In your time, yes, but nowadays—shut up! Besides, these are adult stem cells, harvested from perfectly healthy adults whom I killed for their stem cells.
Al Gore: My fellow Earthicans, as I discuss in my book "Earth in the Balance," and the much more popular "Harry Potter and the Balance of Earth," we need to defend our planet against pollution. As well as dark wizards.
Dark Wizard in the Audience: Sure, blame the wizards!
It's knowing your audiences is expecting the punchline, then delivering a completely unexpected punchline (sometimes consecutively), raising the steaks of the initial joke. When it's the same joke each time, then it's just the same joke each time, regardless of the content. The key is in raising the steaks.
I love futurama. And I know precicely what you mean by diversionary humor. (Fletcher is really great at that) like in the episode of Futurama where they're trying to pickle a tornado and the Doc says "This cattle prod will help."
Lela: How will that help?
Doc: GHZTT GET TO WORK!
Goooood stuff.
But thats why I thought the original was so funny, because A) I was expecting the gah gah punchline, and I took it as old person with bladder problems, not baby/diaper joke.
In the end I think my preference is an isolated incident. The strip was good either way, but I just didn't laugh out loud at the second version.
No I agree with you Ninjai. I liked it better the first way, but I feel like this is a debate that will go down in history.
The reason I liked it was because I was expecting him to say something clever and solve the crime. But instead of acting as adult as he looked, the only thing he was able to say was something very childish. The fact that he was still able to talk, but wasn't mature enough to say anything intelligent was funny to me.
I think the reason there's such strong optinions either way is because everyone's different. Some people expected him to say 'goo goo ga ga' while others expected a poop joke, and it's only funny to the individual if the punch line was unexpected to them. (If that make's sense.)
Whichever ending you choose though Ronnie, I'm don't think anyone's going to hate you. Especially me
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Let's look death in the face and say, "Whatever, man!"
NappuccinoSurveyor of Things and StuffRegistered Userregular
edited May 2011
I feel like i'm a little late to the baby/old baby discussion but i'll throw in my two cents. I saw the poop joke coming from very far away because its been a long standing joke that old people are just babies that can talk.
The baby not knowing english made me laugh because its not an expected joke from the set up.
I liked the poop joke more, because I'm immature and laugh at ALL poop jokes. However, I do like the revised version. And the latest comic is adorable!
Please, I'm begging you, if you are a venture brothers fan or not, if you have any dignity at all... don't watch this if you ever plan on watching season 4 at any point in the future.
For the love of God.
Just... be careful. You've been warned.
edit: Goddamn it they bleep this version. Oh well. Still, spoilerz.
Also, did not read spoilers, Ninjai. I plan on watching 4th season at some point. I can't remember if I've seen season 3 yet. But I may as well start from the beginning.
NappuccinoSurveyor of Things and StuffRegistered Userregular
edited May 2011
I feel like the punchline might be sold better if the final bubble was lower and more to the right of the frame. It would add some delay to the timing of the punchline and be that just little bit more effective imo.
Thanks for the input. I'm probably going to keep it how it is, because the reader's eye typically hates searching the lower right quadrant of a panel for the text bubble. It's usually more attractive and easier to digest in the top half of the panel, at the very least.
Thanks for the input. I'm probably going to keep it how it is, because the reader's eye typically hates searching the lower right quadrant of a panel for the text bubble. It's usually more attractive and easier to digest in the top half of the panel, at the very least.
you don't have to move it much to make the impact i'm thinking about.
I kind of felt the laughter was part of the joke. Ronnie's enjoying this, and he scoffs verbally at M Dudes unreasonable demands.
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NappuccinoSurveyor of Things and StuffRegistered Userregular
edited May 2011
I guess i kinda saw it as a joke a bit like Phil Ken Sebben with a big HAHA (pause) punchline. Where the pause is almost as important as the set up and final line.
edit: I should say that, personally i like the edit better. Its a subtle difference, but I think it adds to the final product
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Or maybe text giving a detailed analysis of the scene, the moments before the crime took place, probable motive, the weapon used, etc, followed by baby talk?
It worked in that commercial: (financial stuff) (spitting up) "Whoa..."
(be sure to refresh if it doesn't show up changed)
that was super effective
:^:
I am the king of fixing comics
Now to make The Family Circus good
And I saw this coming. Maybe its a personal thing, but I honestly thought while reading it, "The punchline better not be goo goo gah gah."
Also, conisdering the "Adventures of" title, it would seem to the layman that there were either previous, or succeeding comics on this topic. If all he can do is talk like a baby, the humor is lost. There is no punchline for future iterations, as humor is less funny the second time around. If he is capable of speaking he can SPEAK the punch line. no just goo ba boo bo bo.
I mean, has anyone seen Jack? Y'know the movie?
Old Baby: "Depends."
This is exactly why it's funny.
In the next iteration the audience comes in with certain expectations. The lazy writer would change the scenario but deliver the same punchline, ad infinitum. The clever writer knows the audience comes in expecting the former and sets up the joke on the strength of that expectation, then delivers something completely unexpected that raises the steaks.
Examples I can give that spring to mind are some from Futurama.
The entire Space Chicken Lawyer character is based on this principle.
The plot of "Alls well that Roswell" hinges on this idea: The crew go back in time and The Professor stresses they must not interfere with the timeline for fear of screwing all of everything up. Fry freaks out and decides to protect his Grandfather, thus ensuring he exists, then gets his Grandfather killed, then figures that must not have been his Grandfather since he wasn't erased from history, so that means this saucy 1940's waitress he just slept with couldn't possibly be his Grandmother, right?
"The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings" whole plot is built around this concept, and that episode even has a subplot emphasising this by having Bender calling people out on the misuse of the concept of Irony.
This dialogue:
Leonard Nimoy: Melllvar, you have to respect your actors. When I directed Star Trek IV, I got a magnificent performance out of Bill because I respected him so much.
William Shatner: And when I directed Star Trek V, I got a magnificent performance out of me because I respected me so much.
Bender: Oh, but you can. But you may have to metaphorically make a deal with the devil. And by "devil", I mean Robot Devil. And by "metaphorically", I mean get your coat.
These two are an especially clear example of what I mean, particularly the raising of the steaks.
Fry: Fetal stem cells? Aren't those controversial?
Professor Farnsworth: In your time, yes, but nowadays—shut up! Besides, these are adult stem cells, harvested from perfectly healthy adults whom I killed for their stem cells.
Al Gore: My fellow Earthicans, as I discuss in my book "Earth in the Balance," and the much more popular "Harry Potter and the Balance of Earth," we need to defend our planet against pollution. As well as dark wizards.
Dark Wizard in the Audience: Sure, blame the wizards!
It's knowing your audiences is expecting the punchline, then delivering a completely unexpected punchline (sometimes consecutively), raising the steaks of the initial joke. When it's the same joke each time, then it's just the same joke each time, regardless of the content. The key is in raising the steaks.
Lela: How will that help?
Doc: GHZTT GET TO WORK!
Goooood stuff.
But thats why I thought the original was so funny, because A) I was expecting the gah gah punchline, and
In the end I think my preference is an isolated incident. The strip was good either way, but I just didn't laugh out loud at the second version.
The reason I liked it was because I was expecting him to say something clever and solve the crime. But instead of acting as adult as he looked, the only thing he was able to say was something very childish. The fact that he was still able to talk, but wasn't mature enough to say anything intelligent was funny to me.
I think the reason there's such strong optinions either way is because everyone's different. Some people expected him to say 'goo goo ga ga' while others expected a poop joke, and it's only funny to the individual if the punch line was unexpected to them. (If that make's sense.)
Whichever ending you choose though Ronnie, I'm don't think anyone's going to hate you. Especially me
Uncanny Magazine!
The Mad Writers Union
The baby not knowing english made me laugh because its not an expected joke from the set up.
Away with your weapon... I mean you know harem.
Excellent comic btw
You should put it on the internet.
This is why I thought the poop version was funny.
And I'm not going to lie.
Super
Super
Super motherfuckin spoilers
Watch at your own risk.
Please, I'm begging you, if you are a venture brothers fan or not, if you have any dignity at all... don't watch this if you ever plan on watching season 4 at any point in the future.
For the love of God.
Just... be careful. You've been warned.
edit: Goddamn it they bleep this version. Oh well. Still, spoilerz.
Also, did not read spoilers, Ninjai. I plan on watching 4th season at some point. I can't remember if I've seen season 3 yet. But I may as well start from the beginning.
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Edcrab gave me the initial idea for this comic.
or just one that says "..."
you don't have to move it much to make the impact i'm thinking about.
I kind of felt the laughter was part of the joke. Ronnie's enjoying this, and he scoffs verbally at M Dudes unreasonable demands.
edit: I should say that, personally i like the edit better. Its a subtle difference, but I think it adds to the final product