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NBA: Jordan Leading the Bobcats to the promised land.
Posts
The Spurs are a paper tiger.
Make no mistake, I absolutely think the Jazz will lose, but out of all the 8 seed candidates, I think they are most likely to pull an upset because they most closely resemble last year's Memphis squad. Tony Parker will annihilate them though.
Well, technically that crowd had the chance in 2006, they even got to the 2nd round. But other than that, yeah it has been a while since they were in the playoffs and never really had any success at all, ever.
I'm going to guess without looking that that was a forgettable team led by Chris Caveman, probably Sam Cassell before he shed his human shell and returned to the mothership, and a bunch of journeyman castoffs who didn't give two shits about the franchise.
Now I'm going to check to see if there was a long playoff drought before that. OK, yes. Basketball Reference says yes.
http://www.basketball-reference.com/teams/LAC/
So this is going to be just the second time in 15 years that the Clippers have made the playoffs, not the first. Eww.
Then it looks like they barely sneaked into the playoffs in 97 even though they finished 10 games under .500 in the West (??). I vaguely remember that. That team evidently featured a lot of washed up veterans better known for playing on other teams, like Kevin Duckworth.
Then you have to go back to the Ron Harper era before that, before he got fed up with that team and fled to the Bulls.
Alright, clicking those links is depressing, like reading an obituary page. Man, that franchise sucks. There's no halcyon age they can point to where they had overwhelming success, either. No Stockton age. No Jordan age. This poor, poor team.
If there ever was a team more in need of an owner change it is the Clippers. If the NBA would ever seriously talk contraction, the Clippers would have to be in the conversation (along with Minnesota, Toronto and Charlotte - 3 other franchises with zero success so far). Lets hope Chris Paul leads them to some success this and next year and Sterling decides to sell high or something.
And yes - I know this is a pipedream. Then again, what do I care - the Hornets just sold and are on their way to a name change and maybe some respectability and maybe even success. Somehow I have a gut feeling Stern will rig the lottery for us and we'll pull the same stunt like Cleveland last year.
Speaking of pipedreams ...
Things are looking up for that Hornets team, definitely. They've got a nice stake in the Unibrow Sweepstakes, and new ownership is looking to reboot the team with a new name and logo in the next few seasons. And then Charlotte takes back the Hornets name, instead of the stupid, uninspired "Bobcats" name their first owner came up with. That's the plan, anyway. And then the New Orleans team won't be the Hornets anymore, they'll be <blank>. Nobody knows yet.
They want the Jazz name back, is what they REALLY want. But that won't happen, I think the people of Utah have grown accustomed to it. I humbly submit "The New Orleans Vipers." Rock some black and gold unis just like the Saints.
Vipers, really, really? You realize you have to actually come up with better names of your own before you can make any sort of meaningless, two-word critique of your own, right? This contrarian bullshit is just getting super sad and transparent now.
My wish for you: Clippers in four, and Zach Randolph is banned and ostracized from the league after involuntarily pooping his pants on national TV after a Blake Griffin posterizing dunk. Rudy Gay then slips on the refuse and is out for the rest of the series. Marc Gasol laughs so hard that his beard hair falls out in clumps, sticking to the black morass of sweat and poop on the court. We only see some of this televised, as Mike Breen hastily cuts to commercial, himself bent over hysterically laughing. Cell phone video of the incident nevertheless goes viral on YouTube. Griffin's handiwork is referred to from that point on as The Dunk and becomes one of the defining moments in NBA history.
Essentially, put up or shut up. Let those creative juices flow, like a runny, involuntary Zach Randolph deuce. You're tasked with finding good, appropriate new names for the New Orleans NBA basketball team. You even have the benefit of thinking about this for hours or days on end, instead of just in 10 seconds or so as I did. Ready set go.
It's been a challenge for ownership themselves to do it. "Jazz" was so on the nose, "Saints" was pretty great too. But I'm sure you'll have no problem. Ready set go, forums poster Elldren!
Oh, the fearsome and relentless nutria?
Okay, you win.
Not only that, but Stern bascially ruled it out in the press conference last week (the same presser btw where he shut down an ESPN guy for asking questions about the Saints).
Vipers is lame. I'd actually prefer "Krewe of New Orleans", but that probably won't happen either. Voodoo is another name thats floating around.
Krewe is poor. If outsiders have to Google your name to figure out what the hell it even is, or else dismiss it as a trying-too-hard-to-sound-cool alternate spelling of another word, then it's not a good name. But Voodoo sounds baller.
As a historical note, the Lakers were too, to some extent--their old home in Minnesota was the "Land of 1000 Lakes"--but have since made the name their own. So it is doable, just not common.
The Clippers wouldn't be a contraction candidate, because they're profitable every year. The Clippers sell tickets and make money even when they stink. They were 15th in attendance last year while going 30-52. And this year, when they've actually been good? They have better attendance than the Lakers, Celtics, Knicks, Thunder, and Spurs.
http://espn.go.com/nba/attendance/_/sort/homePct
If you want a candidate for contraction, look at Indiana - a team that can't sell tickets despite being a top 3 seed in the East. Or Atlanta, another team that has no fan support despite playing .600 ball. Both teams are hemorrhaging cash, despite putting a quality product on the floor.
The NBA is a business before it's a sport.
Soccer has it right if you ask me (european soccer, anyway); just use the team's area of origin as their name
the one exception to this rule is the Sharks, but I'm pretty sure that's because 75% of movies about fictitious sports leagues have a team named the Sharks.
my unofficial autobio will be accompanied with tips on how to smile
cause I've found that when they don't see you frown, they never know that you're a threat
and they don't sweat you when you came around
Craw Daddies and the logo can be a craw daddy wearing a white pimp suit.
I was strictly speaking from a sports perspective and on-court success. That is why I named those 4. And outside of the Clippers I don't think many people would care all that much if the Timberwolves, Bobcats and Raptors went away.
It's one of the few games today that matter at all, so why not?
Ah, okay. But that sounds more like a relegation concept than contraction, like what they do in soccer leagues.
Plus, there are teams that have had longer dry spells than the Wolves, Bobcats, and Raptors. Like the
Pacers
Suns
Kings
Nets
Cavaliers
Sixers
Nuggets
Warriors
Jazz
Thunder/Sonics
Knicks
Blazers
None of those teams have won a title since the Wolves, Raptors, or Bobcats were created, and they all predate the Wolves, Raptors, and Bobcats. So why should they get a pass for their lack of on-court success?
Let's name them all the Wildcats or Tigers, like in college sports.
Yup. If Charlotte loses, they'll be the worst NBA team of all time, with a .106 winning percentage. The current record is .110, held by the 1972-73 Sixers.
I'm more partial to the New Orleans New Yorkers.
That was almost the new name chosen for the New Jersey Nets after they completed their move to Brooklyn next season. They would have been the Brooklyn...New Yorkers.
I like their whole creative vibe with the naming, but the Nets went a different direction at the last minute and kept the same name.
That means "New Yorkers" is still available!
The Jazz were in the finals twice, so were the Nets and Knicks. Cavs, Sixers, Thunder/Sonics, Blazers, Pacers once. Suns, Kings, Nuggets were/are perennial playoff teams. Yes, we are getting into hairsplitting territory - but the Raptors, Bobcats and Timberwolves haven't achieved squat so far - neither have the Clippers and the Warriors actually.
Relegation might actually be a great idea. Create a second league out of all the D-League franchises and some of the worst NBA franchises and have them relegate each year. Great system that works pretty much anywhere outside of American Pro Sports. It will never happen - but it would be a great idea.
It's a sea of Kyrie Irving-face, until you spot Alfredo Berrios from ESPN Deportes picking Ricky Rubio.
Which is hilarious because Knickerbocker Ave is in... Brooklyn.
How do the Bulls have 105.9% attendance?
And it doesn't seem totally legit to say that the Clippers have higher attendance than the Lakers...the Clippers just pack more people into the building.
Clippers don't have a lot to go to late game except CP3. A lot of possessions end up with him literally dribbling around until he gets an open shot or fouled
It's not going to work well against the Grizzlies, who lead the league in steals and forced turnovers.
They'll probably put Tony Allen on Chris Paul, which is going to royally suck for Chris Paul.
But basically now that the Grizzlies have home court, I think they're a lock to advance. The theory is that Memphis is good enough and experienced enough to advance with or without home court (though it's always helpful), but that the Clippers are basically sunk without it.
It's still going to be entertaining, I just don't realistically see how the Clippers beat the Grizzlies four times first, outside of injuries or flukes.
Show, us Clips! Come on Griffin. Heretofore unknown extra gear you've been saving this whole time. Go. Do it! If not for us, then at least for the fine people at Kia Motors.
They'll definitely put TA on CP3. There are two things TA does best: defense and being crazy
clippers will get consumed by marc gasol and the grizzlies, angry clippers mob will carry out del negro's head on a stick, hopefully donald sterling will have a stroke and die cause fuck that guy so hard.
bynum will explode in the playoffs and put up major points/boards like he's pulling a shaq, kobe will miss a fuck ton of shots but make the ones that really count at the end of the stretch, lakers will make it past the talented and great but inexperienced Thunder to the WCF, but get beaten by the Spurs 4-2
because that would be a much easier matchup for the Grizz come round 2
Bulls in 4
Knicks in 7
Pacers in 5
Celtics in 6
Spurs in 5
Thunder in 5
Lakers in 6
Grizzlies in 5