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[TRENCHES] Tuesday, April 3, 2012 - Vulgarity

GethGeth LegionPerseus VeilRegistered User, Super Moderator, Penny Arcade Staff, Vanilla Staff vanilla
edited April 2012 in The Penny Arcade Hub
Vulgarity


Vulgarity
http://trenchescomic.com/comic/post/vulgarity

It’s a feature! A sexy, sexy feature.

Anonymous

Gauntlets can be thrown in lots of ways, but the intent of insult is always there.

I was testing a part of a game where the user had to interact with a computer terminal to type in various commands. I was told to try variations on known phrases, but alter it slightly for each iteration (capital letters, spaces, etc). “Try everything you can think of.”

After several hours of this and nearing total mental collapse, I started putting in various nonsense phrases for fun (similar to you’d do with old text parser games), just to see if the programmers had planned for that sort of juvenile behavior. Besides, I thought I could always argue that this should have been thought and tested.

I typed in “slut” and suddenly a slideshow appeared with naked women.

After the shock, I noticed it was actually all the same woman, but in the requisite fantasy poses this sort of thing affords. A few seconds into this revelry, my supervisor walked by and asked me just what the world I thought I was doing, son. I explained what happened. He stares for a few seconds and then walks off, telling me to stay there until he returned and Don’t. Touch. Anything.

20 minutes pass, during which I’m equally terrified and embarrassed, as people were walking by my desk and giggling uncontrollably. One guy did offer me a high five. Also the pictures looped, and I lost interest after the first eighteen cycles. Sort of.

Supervisor returns with another guy I’ve never seen before, and tells him to look at my screen. This second guy runs through the full spectrum of emotions - giddy surprise which begets alarmed realization - before his eyes redden in fury and he runs down the hall. Seconds later, he emerges in a fist fight with another man. Turns out a programmer had been having an affair with an artist’s wife, and I’d brought it to the climactic breaking point upon stumbling across this “feature.”

Their struggle ended quickly once security was called in. Both were fired immediately. I was terminated the next day for vague reasons at best.

I did try it once the game released, and (of course) was disappointed.


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Posts

  • RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    The comic made me smile. The story did not.

  • AntimatterAntimatter if you want to talk to me look elsewhere.Registered User regular
  • collinccollinc Registered User regular
    Wrongful termination lawsuit anyone? I'm usually the last person to say lawsuit and mean it, but damn. That could almost be a sexual harassment lawsuit as well.

    Free cake. Inquire within.
  • chrishallett83chrishallett83 Hi! Registered User regular
    Whoa, damn. Hell of a way to find out your wife's sleeping around on you!

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  • DarkewolfeDarkewolfe Registered User regular
    Yeah, that story is complete, total, absolute bullshit.

    "Well, look at this. Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What's that make us?"
    "Big Damn Heroes, Sir."
    "Ain't we just."
  • UnluckyUnlucky Registered User regular
    edited April 2012
    Given it's Trenches, that doesn't surprise me at all.

    Edit: To clarify, I meant the stories often end with people having bullshit things happen to them. The comic I like.

    Unlucky on
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  • DarkewolfeDarkewolfe Registered User regular
    No, I mean it's bullshit in that it is 100% untrue.

    "Well, look at this. Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What's that make us?"
    "Big Damn Heroes, Sir."
    "Ain't we just."
  • SticksSticks Registered User regular
    I'm fairly skeptical as well. There is zero upside for the coder to put that in there unless he WANTED to lose his job. Even if that was an 'M' game, no studio wants a 'hot coffee' scenario on their hands.

  • EclecticGrooveEclecticGroove Registered User regular
    Sticks wrote: »
    I'm fairly skeptical as well. There is zero upside for the coder to put that in there unless he WANTED to lose his job. Even if that was an 'M' game, no studio wants a 'hot coffee' scenario on their hands.

    No idea if true or not, but I've seen plenty of people do exceedingly stupid things they should not do, even when they "know" it's stupid, they just can't seem to stop themselves.

    So I see no reason why it couldn't be true. I've seen people do much more overtly stupid things than that in places I have worked. He may have thought it was super clever and no one would EVER find it for years. He may have even planned to leak the way to unlock it himself after release.

  • GyralGyral Registered User regular
    collinc wrote: »
    Wrongful termination lawsuit anyone? I'm usually the last person to say lawsuit and mean it, but damn. That could almost be a sexual harassment lawsuit as well.

    If they're working in an At Will state, they can be fired for any reason. Unless they have specific contracts, the employer can sack them with no justification at all.

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  • Fatty McBeardoFatty McBeardo Registered User regular
    I don't buy a word of that story.

  • Dark Raven XDark Raven X When you speak I hear muffinsRegistered User regular
    Is it any weirder than the "wank folder" story?

    Or any weirder than the Simcopter speedo men thing?

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  • jackaljackal Registered User regular
    Far weirder. It's in a whole different universe of weird.

  • DelzhandDelzhand motivated battle programmerRegistered User regular
    I think they've totally forgotten about the New Readers page.

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  • El SkidEl Skid The frozen white northRegistered User regular
    Gyral wrote: »
    collinc wrote: »
    Wrongful termination lawsuit anyone? I'm usually the last person to say lawsuit and mean it, but damn. That could almost be a sexual harassment lawsuit as well.

    If they're working in an At Will state, they can be fired for any reason. Unless they have specific contracts, the employer can sack them with no justification at all.

    I have a new appreciation for the labour laws we have up north now.



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  • DarkewolfeDarkewolfe Registered User regular
    At Will wouldn't protect him from being fired. But it also wouldn't protect the company from the fucking IMMENSE pile of sexual harassment lawsuits that should've piled out of that event and made the national news, dragging everyone involved under and resulting in a huge payout for the person telling the story.

    "Well, look at this. Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What's that make us?"
    "Big Damn Heroes, Sir."
    "Ain't we just."
  • RemingtonRemington Registered User regular
    There seems to be this common misconception about game companies that you can just "sneak" these huge things into games without anyone noticing. And then the QA guy happens to stumble upon the secret.

    BoCSig.jpg
  • Ori KleinOri Klein Registered User regular
    edited April 2012
    Remington wrote: »
    There seems to be this common misconception about game companies that you can just "sneak" these huge things into games without anyone noticing. And then the QA guy happens to stumble upon the secret.
    And gets fired for it (=doing your job)? Damned if you do, damned if you don't...


    I'd name the company.
    It deserves public defacement for wrongful termination such as this.

    Ori Klein on
  • DarkewolfeDarkewolfe Registered User regular
    Ori Klein wrote: »
    Remington wrote: »
    There seems to be this common misconception about game companies that you can just "sneak" these huge things into games without anyone noticing. And then the QA guy happens to stumble upon the secret.
    And gets fired for it (=doing your job)? Damned if you do, damned if you don't...


    I'd name the company.
    It deserves public defacement for wrongful termination such as this.

    It would, except that there is no way this thing happened. This story is a fabrication of amusing fantasy. Any discussion of this story, vis-a-vis the possibility it actually occurred, are misleading. It is a non-story.

    Kinda ruins the story section. Earlier things seemed embellished, but this is just silly.

    "Well, look at this. Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What's that make us?"
    "Big Damn Heroes, Sir."
    "Ain't we just."
  • BaidolBaidol I will hold him off. Escape while you can.Registered User regular
    I am going to choose to believe this story is real.

  • DedwrekkaDedwrekka What Would Nyarlathotep Do? Registered User regular
    Samuel Clemmons (Mark Twain) once said, "Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; truth is not."
    Tom Clancy probably said it a bit more succinctly "The difference between reality and fiction? Fiction has to make sense."

  • FramlingFramling Registered User regular
    Okay, so it was a programmer nailing an artist's wife? How did no one notice a programmer checking in a whole bunch of image assets?

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  • HenroidHenroid Nobody Nowhere fastRegistered User regular
    Framling wrote: »
    Okay, so it was a programmer nailing an artist's wife? How did no one notice a programmer checking in a whole bunch of image assets?

    This right here is why I'm skeptical of the story.

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  • BiweeklyAaronBiweeklyAaron Registered User regular
    Also, if the programmer was the one having the affair, why would he be the one getting mad and running down the hall. (there's no way they would bring an artist over a programmer to look at that kind of issue)

  • collinccollinc Registered User regular
    Gyral wrote: »
    collinc wrote: »
    Wrongful termination lawsuit anyone? I'm usually the last person to say lawsuit and mean it, but damn. That could almost be a sexual harassment lawsuit as well.

    If they're working in an At Will state, they can be fired for any reason. Unless they have specific contracts, the employer can sack them with no justification at all.

    I don't think at will negates sexual harassment. I'm by no means knowledgeable, but that seems incorrect. He brought something sexual (that he did not do) to the attention of his superiors and was subsequently fired.

    Free cake. Inquire within.
  • GaslightGaslight Registered User regular
    Always a little scary when nice girls who usually don't swear let fly with a blue streak.

    1Slimus.jpg
  • agilemaniaagilemania Registered User regular
    Also, if the programmer was the one having the affair, why would he be the one getting mad and running down the hall. (there's no way they would bring an artist over a programmer to look at that kind of issue)

    I assumed that the supervisor did bring over the artist, probably because the supervisor recognized the artist's wife in the pictures.

  • fortyforty Registered User regular
    Tale setting off massive bullshit alarms in my head.

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  • jackaljackal Registered User regular
    When I read "requisite fantasy poses" my mind goes to 'holding a stave pointed at the camera' or 'holding a sword and shield' rather than 'bent over bed' or whatever was actually intended.

  • FandeathisFandeathis Registered User regular
    jackal wrote: »
    When I read "requisite fantasy poses" my mind goes to 'holding a stave pointed at the camera' or 'holding a sword and shield' rather than 'bent over bed' or whatever was actually intended.

    Me too! It made the story way funnier.

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  • AurichAurich Registered User regular
    I don't think the idea of a guy sleeping with a colleague's wife and planting photos of the infidelity inside media where too many people will see it is hard to believe. Add to that the continual talk of lawsuits and workers rights and whatnot, and it's like you guys just live in a nicer world. How can I get in on that?

  • Svenne345Svenne345 Treasure Hider Registered User regular
    Aurich wrote: »
    I don't think the idea of a guy sleeping with a colleague's wife and planting photos of the infidelity inside media where too many people will see it is hard to believe.

    I agree. Some people get the stiffies when they dance with danger; Kind of like spanking it with the door unlocked on purpose because "Oooo, someone MIGHT find me!"

    But alas, this is the double-edged sword of anonymous content.

  • IncindiumIncindium Registered User regular
    edited April 2012
    Framling wrote: »
    Okay, so it was a programmer nailing an artist's wife? How did no one notice a programmer checking in a whole bunch of image assets?

    All he'd have to do is obfuscate the filenames/extensions and check them in with a bunch of other stuff and no one would be the wiser.

    Incindium on
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  • TaramoorTaramoor Registered User regular
    forty wrote: »
    Tale setting off massive bullshit alarms in my head.

    Remind me to someday regale you with tales of Daggerfall and SimCopter.

  • Gaming-FreakGaming-Freak Registered User regular
    Dedwrekka wrote: »
    Samuel Clemmons (Mark Twain) once said, "Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; truth is not."
    Tom Clancy probably said it a bit more succinctly "The difference between reality and fiction? Fiction has to make sense."

    This, friend. It matters not if it was real; it was entertaining and FUNNY.

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  • TofystedethTofystedeth veni, veneri, vamoosi Registered User regular
    edited April 2012
    Sticks wrote: »
    I'm fairly skeptical as well. There is zero upside for the coder to put that in there unless he WANTED to lose his job. Even if that was an 'M' game, no studio wants a 'hot coffee' scenario on their hands.

    No idea if true or not, but I've seen plenty of people do exceedingly stupid things they should not do, even when they "know" it's stupid, they just can't seem to stop themselves.

    It's not that much stupider than the guy who got caught having an affair because he posted pictures of him with his girlfriend on his facebook, which of course popped up in his wife's facebook feed.

    Tofystedeth on
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  • TaramoorTaramoor Registered User regular
    edited April 2012
    Sticks wrote: »
    I'm fairly skeptical as well. There is zero upside for the coder to put that in there unless he WANTED to lose his job. Even if that was an 'M' game, no studio wants a 'hot coffee' scenario on their hands.

    No idea if true or not, but I've seen plenty of people do exceedingly stupid things they should not do, even when they "know" it's stupid, they just can't seem to stop themselves.

    It's not that much stupider than the guy who got caught having an affair because he posted pictures of him with his girlfriend on his facebook, which of course popped up in his wife's facebook feed.

    Or the Congressman who posted pictures of his wang on twitter.

    Taramoor on
  • TriskTrisk Registered User regular
    It's a shame those dumb (sometimes cool) stories get in the way of us talking about HOW SUDDENLY AWESOME THE COMIC HAS BECOME, now that intro is done I'm enjoying the plot so far.

  • RoyceSraphimRoyceSraphim Registered User regular
    I demand links or google friendly phrases to let me know of this "wank folder" story, I already know about the Congressman twitter (I thought he was awesome before that :( ), Simcopter, Hotcoffee, and the facebook one.

  • TofystedethTofystedeth veni, veneri, vamoosi Registered User regular
    I demand links or google friendly phrases to let me know of this "wank folder" story, I already know about the Congressman twitter (I thought he was awesome before that :( ), Simcopter, Hotcoffee, and the facebook one.
    http://trenchescomic.com/tales/post/i-suppose-flash-was-in-his-job-description

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