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Might & Magic - World Of Xeen LP. Part 14 up now.
Moriveth
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Welcome to Might & Magic: World Of Xeen.
Originally I wanted to start this from Might & Magic I: Secret Of The Inner Sanctum. Unfortunately that game is so dated as to be unplayable, and although I’d still like to go back to it, I don’t have the patience right now, or any of the nostalgia for the game to really be willing to do it.
So instead I’m going to play World of Xeen, which is a combination of Might & Magic 4: Clouds of Xeen, and 5: Darkside of Xeen. You can probably already tell that the two are pretty direct sequels. I also attempted a LP of this before, and I am determined to finish this game this time.
See, the setting of Xeen, is, well. It’s a flat world out in space. Each game took place on one side. You can actually do the 5 stuff before 4, but given how goddamn brutal 5 can be (and hell, even 4 at some parts), I don’t recommend it. I actually had at one point an original boxed copy of Darkside of Xeen, though being a dumb kid I think I wrecked it. Which is a shame, because that game came in a really nice box.
The thing to remember about the Might & Magic games (up to at least 7, as far as I know) is that they’re technically fantasy, but also kind of not. Basically they’re supposed to be colony worlds from some ancient civilization which have descended into barbarism. Up until 7 or so, there’s always a point when you meet a robot. Or a cyborg. Or go on a crashed spaceship and use laser guns to fight space demons. I think one of the principal villains of Darkside is an evil robot and the end of the game involves you awakening another robot to fight him. Yeah, seriously.
That’s part of the reason why I love these games so much – I always get into them to the point where I forget about the weird sci-fi elements so when they hit me my reaction is always “Oh shit, yeah!” Plus there’s also the fact that they’re pretty good games in their own right.
To be honest, I’ve never really paid much attention to the plots of these games. They always seemed ancillary to the sword-and-sorcery “I am going to this town to solve your problems and then I am going to go to another town and solve their problems and then I’ll probably save the world.” way I played them. Basically how I play Elder Scrolls games except I’ve actually finished one of these.
Anyway, enough rambling about my nostalgia. On to the game.
Part 1- WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF XEEN
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QohuuqOtv54
So, there’s about all the plot we get right now. There’s an evil guy called Lord Xeen and he’s imprisoned Crodo and we need to defeat Xeen… somehow.
Side note: One thing I really miss is in the CD release of World of Xeen they added voice work to every character in the game. Terrible, terrible voice work. I have the disc somewhere so I’m going to try and extract the audio files for it, which will be easy since they’re literally just an audio track after the data portion of the CD. The difficulty is that each track is probably about 20 minutes long and the dialogue is literally just accessing a time stamp for the dialogue, so playing it all at once (which I have actually done) is more confusing than anything else. Still… It might be worthwhile, because people really do need to hear how ridiculous the VA is.
Okay, so, here we are. Apologies for wonky color, I’ll try and get that fixed for the next update.
So, this is basically a difficulty selection. Warrior mode is a bit more difficult, so I went with adventurer mode.
And here we are in beautiful Vertigo! Let me quickly explain the interface, which I kinda love despite it being cluttered and dated as fuuuck. Hey, the game’s like 20 years old.
1 – If you have the Clarivoyance spell active, when you reach something that gives you an option, these heads will either nod or shake their heads to give you the correct course of action. Want to drink out of that weird barrel? The heads will tell you!
2 – This gargoyle’s wings will flap if you have Levitate active. Useful considering this game has a single plane, and it’s kinda hard to remember how many steps some of the spells last.
3 – This little gecko waves his hand if you’re in front of a secret door and have a skill active. Detect secrets, maybe? It might even be a spell.
4 – This bat will be opening and closing its mouth if one of your party has the danger sense skill and an enemy is near. More useful than it seems.
5 – This is where the map appears if you have a character with the cartography skill. Also weirdly even though I do have someone with that, you still have to click it to activate the map. Dunno what’s up with that.
6 – Ranged attack! It’s a good tactic to give all your party ranged weapons so you can attack enemies from afar, even if there’s a low chance of hitting them. Plus it looks really funny to see six arrows hurtling toward a guy.
7 – Cast a spell!
8 – Make camp.
9 – Bash through a door or secret door. Usually not recommended if you can help it as it does cause damage, though I do like the idea of the stubborn barbarian just smashing his face into a wall that he is convinced hides a secret door.
10 – Dismiss a party member. You can also do this in inns, and I’m not really sure why it exists as an interface button.
11 – Quest log and notes. Interestingly enough this game does take automatic notes of useful stuff – what colors correspond to what stat boosts (and there are a LOT of stat boosts in this game).
12 – Map. Useful for finding out where the fuck you are and the minimap doesn’t help.
13 – Time and date info. I’m not sure exactly why this exists, but I think there’s some ingame use for it.
14 – Quick reference. Just gives you an overview of your party and how they’re doing.
Anyway, enough of the interface! Let’s get rid of these default chumpos and bring in some real folks.
Slimes in the inn?!? This town is messed up!
It’s worth noting that every table in the tavern can be interacted with, which sometimes leads to useful information.
Sometimes it’s not so useful.
And sometimes it’s not useful at all.
Though most of the time the stuff is town-specific, occasionally they’ll let you know about other towns and other things happening in the world.
Gross. Grosssss.
In every ‘service’ in the town, you access them by clicking on this mysterious marble obelisk.
Well hellloooooooooo innkeeper lady.
When you choose to make new characters, the screen gets folded up like a scroll and then unfolded. I’m not sure if that’s to mask a load or if they just thought that it looked way cool (It does look kinda cool).
So we remove all those precreated nerdos from our party, and…
And start making our own. I stuck with the basic classes (Knight, Paladin, Cleric, Sorceror, Robber, and Archer). There are more unique classes like Druid (Sort of a cleric/sorcerer), Ninja (fighter/robber), Barbarian (more powerful attack but can’t use as much armor), but I like the basics. Whatever.
After a lot of rerolling we have our party:
I… might have been hungry when I made these characters.
So after making our fancy new party we go and talk to the mayor. Basically any questgiver is holed up in some tent or something. I don’t know, it’s weird.
So, that explains the slimes, at least.
Anyway, after getting the quest we decide to buy some shit. Bad thing about using your own characters is that you start with nothing but gold and gems. And gems are primarily used for spells.
See those display cases on either side of the room? They’re not just for display.
It’s worth noting that ONLY ROBBERS CAN STEAL. You’d think this is obvious but if you attempt it with ANY other character (except maybe a ninja?) then you’ll just get caught and get put in jail for an ingame year.
We got some nice stuff from there. This rod of insect repellent is pretty handy for fighting the various bugs that infest Vertigo.
And then after robbing the poor blacksmith we just go ahead and buy some stuff from him too. Nothing spectacular, just some weapons and armor for everyone. I couldn’t afford them for the sorcerer and cleric, but they have magic as their weapons.
There is a super-handy skill in the game that automatically maps an area you’re in. I can’t wait to get it, but I think it’s a late-game thing.
These things are weird, but useful. Enter the name of any town in the game and it’ll teleport you there. Useful when you’re powerful enough to maybe deal with some stuff, but not just yet. Interestingly you can use it to get to Shangri-La (a ‘secret’ town that I think was added in World of Xeen, it has basically everything you could possibly need), but there’s actually no mirror out. And the traditional exits are populated by absurdly powerful monsters, so… Best not to do it right now.
Hmm… What was that the person in the bar said earlier?
Well I’ll be damned.
Throughout the game you’ll find people willing to teach you new skills. But since I already have a dude what knows Cartography this is pretty useless.
Oh hey, let’s go play a visit to Joe. Maybe he’s just overworked?
Maybe those are just his pets?
Joe, I’ma be honest. I think you’re full of shit.
Originally I wanted to start this from Might & Magic I: Secret Of The Inner Sanctum. Unfortunately that game is so dated as to be unplayable, and although I’d still like to go back to it, I don’t have the patience right now, or any of the nostalgia for the game to really be willing to do it.
So instead I’m going to play World of Xeen, which is a combination of Might & Magic 4: Clouds of Xeen, and 5: Darkside of Xeen. You can probably already tell that the two are pretty direct sequels. I also attempted a LP of this before, and I am determined to finish this game this time.
See, the setting of Xeen, is, well. It’s a flat world out in space. Each game took place on one side. You can actually do the 5 stuff before 4, but given how goddamn brutal 5 can be (and hell, even 4 at some parts), I don’t recommend it. I actually had at one point an original boxed copy of Darkside of Xeen, though being a dumb kid I think I wrecked it. Which is a shame, because that game came in a really nice box.
The thing to remember about the Might & Magic games (up to at least 7, as far as I know) is that they’re technically fantasy, but also kind of not. Basically they’re supposed to be colony worlds from some ancient civilization which have descended into barbarism. Up until 7 or so, there’s always a point when you meet a robot. Or a cyborg. Or go on a crashed spaceship and use laser guns to fight space demons. I think one of the principal villains of Darkside is an evil robot and the end of the game involves you awakening another robot to fight him. Yeah, seriously.
That’s part of the reason why I love these games so much – I always get into them to the point where I forget about the weird sci-fi elements so when they hit me my reaction is always “Oh shit, yeah!” Plus there’s also the fact that they’re pretty good games in their own right.
To be honest, I’ve never really paid much attention to the plots of these games. They always seemed ancillary to the sword-and-sorcery “I am going to this town to solve your problems and then I am going to go to another town and solve their problems and then I’ll probably save the world.” way I played them. Basically how I play Elder Scrolls games except I’ve actually finished one of these.
Anyway, enough rambling about my nostalgia. On to the game.
Part 1- WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF XEEN
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QohuuqOtv54So, there’s about all the plot we get right now. There’s an evil guy called Lord Xeen and he’s imprisoned Crodo and we need to defeat Xeen… somehow.
Side note: One thing I really miss is in the CD release of World of Xeen they added voice work to every character in the game. Terrible, terrible voice work. I have the disc somewhere so I’m going to try and extract the audio files for it, which will be easy since they’re literally just an audio track after the data portion of the CD. The difficulty is that each track is probably about 20 minutes long and the dialogue is literally just accessing a time stamp for the dialogue, so playing it all at once (which I have actually done) is more confusing than anything else. Still… It might be worthwhile, because people really do need to hear how ridiculous the VA is.
Okay, so, here we are. Apologies for wonky color, I’ll try and get that fixed for the next update.
So, this is basically a difficulty selection. Warrior mode is a bit more difficult, so I went with adventurer mode.
And here we are in beautiful Vertigo! Let me quickly explain the interface, which I kinda love despite it being cluttered and dated as fuuuck. Hey, the game’s like 20 years old.
1 – If you have the Clarivoyance spell active, when you reach something that gives you an option, these heads will either nod or shake their heads to give you the correct course of action. Want to drink out of that weird barrel? The heads will tell you!
2 – This gargoyle’s wings will flap if you have Levitate active. Useful considering this game has a single plane, and it’s kinda hard to remember how many steps some of the spells last.
3 – This little gecko waves his hand if you’re in front of a secret door and have a skill active. Detect secrets, maybe? It might even be a spell.
4 – This bat will be opening and closing its mouth if one of your party has the danger sense skill and an enemy is near. More useful than it seems.
5 – This is where the map appears if you have a character with the cartography skill. Also weirdly even though I do have someone with that, you still have to click it to activate the map. Dunno what’s up with that.
6 – Ranged attack! It’s a good tactic to give all your party ranged weapons so you can attack enemies from afar, even if there’s a low chance of hitting them. Plus it looks really funny to see six arrows hurtling toward a guy.
7 – Cast a spell!
8 – Make camp.
9 – Bash through a door or secret door. Usually not recommended if you can help it as it does cause damage, though I do like the idea of the stubborn barbarian just smashing his face into a wall that he is convinced hides a secret door.
10 – Dismiss a party member. You can also do this in inns, and I’m not really sure why it exists as an interface button.
11 – Quest log and notes. Interestingly enough this game does take automatic notes of useful stuff – what colors correspond to what stat boosts (and there are a LOT of stat boosts in this game).
12 – Map. Useful for finding out where the fuck you are and the minimap doesn’t help.
13 – Time and date info. I’m not sure exactly why this exists, but I think there’s some ingame use for it.
14 – Quick reference. Just gives you an overview of your party and how they’re doing.
Anyway, enough of the interface! Let’s get rid of these default chumpos and bring in some real folks.
Slimes in the inn?!? This town is messed up!
It’s worth noting that every table in the tavern can be interacted with, which sometimes leads to useful information.
Sometimes it’s not so useful.
And sometimes it’s not useful at all.
Though most of the time the stuff is town-specific, occasionally they’ll let you know about other towns and other things happening in the world.
Gross. Grosssss.
In every ‘service’ in the town, you access them by clicking on this mysterious marble obelisk.
Well hellloooooooooo innkeeper lady.
When you choose to make new characters, the screen gets folded up like a scroll and then unfolded. I’m not sure if that’s to mask a load or if they just thought that it looked way cool (It does look kinda cool).
So we remove all those precreated nerdos from our party, and…
And start making our own. I stuck with the basic classes (Knight, Paladin, Cleric, Sorceror, Robber, and Archer). There are more unique classes like Druid (Sort of a cleric/sorcerer), Ninja (fighter/robber), Barbarian (more powerful attack but can’t use as much armor), but I like the basics. Whatever.
After a lot of rerolling we have our party:
I… might have been hungry when I made these characters.
So after making our fancy new party we go and talk to the mayor. Basically any questgiver is holed up in some tent or something. I don’t know, it’s weird.
So, that explains the slimes, at least.
Anyway, after getting the quest we decide to buy some shit. Bad thing about using your own characters is that you start with nothing but gold and gems. And gems are primarily used for spells.
See those display cases on either side of the room? They’re not just for display.
It’s worth noting that ONLY ROBBERS CAN STEAL. You’d think this is obvious but if you attempt it with ANY other character (except maybe a ninja?) then you’ll just get caught and get put in jail for an ingame year.
We got some nice stuff from there. This rod of insect repellent is pretty handy for fighting the various bugs that infest Vertigo.
And then after robbing the poor blacksmith we just go ahead and buy some stuff from him too. Nothing spectacular, just some weapons and armor for everyone. I couldn’t afford them for the sorcerer and cleric, but they have magic as their weapons.
There is a super-handy skill in the game that automatically maps an area you’re in. I can’t wait to get it, but I think it’s a late-game thing.
These things are weird, but useful. Enter the name of any town in the game and it’ll teleport you there. Useful when you’re powerful enough to maybe deal with some stuff, but not just yet. Interestingly you can use it to get to Shangri-La (a ‘secret’ town that I think was added in World of Xeen, it has basically everything you could possibly need), but there’s actually no mirror out. And the traditional exits are populated by absurdly powerful monsters, so… Best not to do it right now.
Hmm… What was that the person in the bar said earlier?
Well I’ll be damned.
Throughout the game you’ll find people willing to teach you new skills. But since I already have a dude what knows Cartography this is pretty useless.
Oh hey, let’s go play a visit to Joe. Maybe he’s just overworked?
Maybe those are just his pets?
Joe, I’ma be honest. I think you’re full of shit.
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GOOD JOB
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GOOD JOB
Burlock seems unsure that he's actually the king
Also, the colors don't seem nearly as bad on my phone. Still kinda off, but unfortunately it doesn't look like anything can be done.
wouldn't you set up a festive pavilion tent and wait
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A pavilion tent basically says "ADVENTURE HERE"
also I somehow fixed the color issues that I was having with the game, so the update after the next one should look a bit less weird. Unfortunately my capture program also introduced a weird delay in capturing so most of the time I won't get those oh-so-funny monster reaction screencaps when they get hit. I might have been the only person who found that funny, though, so.
I mean even though his own office was infested with the pests he claimed to have a handle on. Also they already knocked out our wizard. Maybe Joe’s not so bad, I mean, c’mon.
But first let’s visit the Slime Temple and pay tribute to our Lord High Slime God. I hope there’s not a conflict of interest in worshipping the slime god and killing all kinds of slimes.
This incredibly smug-looking elf informs us that yes, we are all doomed.
Now, what’s handy about temples besides the fact that you can get healed and resurrected at them, is that if you give them a mere 100 gold or so, you get massive boosts from them. It’s one of the few times I actually support giving lots of money to religious groups.
Best not to drink from the well in town just yet. With the monster plagues it actually makes people sick.
Most of the ways into the actual monster-filled parts of town (and this is true of the first couple towns, at least), are barred by gates. You’ll want a strong character to try and open them because they have a much higher chance to do it without hurting themselves. Apparently straining your muscles is a big fucking deal in the Might & Magic universe, because weaker characters will apparently actually knock themselves out attempting to do it.
But thankfully Wendy is super-strong so she opens it without much trouble.
Most of these boxes scattered around have nothing in them. It might be Luck based, but I’m not positive.
Doom bugs! Kind of annoying because they almost always come in packs, but they’re beginning game enemies so they’re not much of an issue really.
I absolutely love the ‘monster getting hit by weapon’ frames for most of the monsters.
You can search through the garbage like a good adventurer would.
Much like actual dumpster diving, you sometimes find something neat, but sometimes you also just get a nasty disease.
One of the biggest things in World Of Xeen is: “search everything, because apparently people put weird stuff in random places”. Who keeps a suit of plate mail under their bed?
Hmm, Joe’s storeroom. While it would be good to bust in and investigate, I feel like we should have probable cause to or something. It doesn’t seem fair to just break and enter if we’re trying to dispense justice.
HOLY GOD WHAT THE HELL IS THAT! It’s probable cause is what it is!
Inside the storeroom are lots of boxes and also lots of monsters. Those big slimes are called Breeder Slimes, for reasons that are probably obvious.
Some of the boxes contain Doom Bugs. I’m beginning to have some suspicions about ol’ Joe.
Taking a nap in the monster-infested warehouse probably isn’t a problem.
Hmm…
Oh my god.
Or – and hear me out, here – maybe someone’s framed Joe. He seemed perfectly cordial! Maybe he’s just a shitty exterminator! Let’s go talk to him.
Oh.
Man he sure left in a hurry. Wonder what’s up with that? Well, let’s go talk to Gunther.
5k experience and 4 grand? And 50 gems, too? No wonder Joe was milking you dry, Gunther, apparently you’ve got more money than sense.
Anyway, with the money we have we can finally get some spells for ol’ Jack. Who apparently only started with a Light spell. I mean, it makes cockroaches scatter, sure, but in broad daylight?
Of course there’s still some monsters to kill around town.
And the scary-looking blue lady tells us that we need to be a member. Yeah, that’s seriously a thing – you have to pay for membership into the mage guilds. This gets even crazier in M&M6 because there are various guilds for the varied amount of skills in game and each town has their own guild, I believe. It is nutso.
Not anymore they won’t (except for you oh exalted Slime God)! We quickly buy membership in the guild for our spell slingin’ buddies, and…
And… There goes a large portion of our money. Still, our spellcasters are better equipped, so that’s good.
Also, you know how you level up in this game? You have to actually speak to a trainer. I believe there aren’t any trainers in Vertigo, either, so you have to make your way to Rivercity. It’s weird.
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DOOM BREEDERS
ineedmayo.com Eidolon Journal Updated
Noooo the stuff of nightmaaares
The real villain of the game isn't Xeen, it's Joe, ohh nooo
ineedmayo.com Eidolon Journal Updated
time to put those exterminating skills to work
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So, you know how last time I said there wasn’t a trainer in Vertigo? Turns out I’m a goddamn liar. Most everyone in the party got up to level 4. You level up goddamn fast in this game.
Jack even has a whopping 12 hit points, now! That’s like a million for a wizard! Anyway it’s time to visit the dwarf mines Gunther was yapping on about and -
AW COME ON.
Yeah, because this is an old game, it uses old copy protection.
Thankfully GoG was nice enough to provide all the passwords.
Here we are on the outside. It’s a beautiful night, and there’s a quest tent right outside the door.
You may note that the borders are gone from these screenshots. That’s because I was using the ‘capture window without borders’ thing, but I have to run it windowed for that, and fuck running windowed. Unfortunately putting it in fullscreen makes it put it out with the borders to preserve aspect ratio. I could probably do something about it… Maybe I will.
Anyway, this nice lady wants us to get some roots for her. Pretty easy stuff. Except you have to fight awful giant toads.
This orc is apparently a member of the illuminati.
No seriously what does this thing do – AAAHH
And then the old lady shoves the orb into our hands and trundles off. Where are we?
Why, the starting town of Darkside of Xeen, of course! Yeah, those pyramids are how you move between the sides. Remember, Xeen is basically a giant rectangle hurtling through space. One side is the Cloudside, the other is the Darkside. It’s weird, I know.
Anyway, we skedaddle on back to Cloudside, just in time to fight more orcs and enter the mines –
AHHHHHH
Inside the mines, away from the horrifying dwarf that greeted us, is… darkness. Thankfully we do actually know a Light spell.
In the background – a bat, being shot.
What do you mean Wendy’s not strong enough? She’s a strong half-orc woman who don’t need no man.
But honestly, yeah, there are lots of stat checks in this game. And your stats can get pretty goddamned high, so it’s in your best interest to raise them as much as possible. Thankfully the game is super generous with stat increases.
Like, say, drinking red liquid out of strange barrels in an abandoned mine? Why not? I’ve never heard of anything bad coming of that.
AWW YISS. This color-coding of stats stays throughout the series, I believe. Red is might, Green Endurance, Blue Personality, Orange Intellect, Yellow Accuracy, White Luck, and Purple Speed. Of course, I didn’t remember this at first so a lot of my characters got random stat boosts. Still.
The bats are weirdly kinda adorable in this game. It’s too bad they all must die.
Again, search through everything. You never know when you’ll find something cool in a pile of junk. This advice also applies to real life.
Dwarven travel codes? Whatever are those for?
How about this horrifying minecart with a face? It works similarly to the magic mirrors that appear in town, although it only works for the mines.
This is one of the mad dwarves that has invaded the mines. He’s been caught in the middle of being hit by one of my characters.
Pictured - a door I bashed open because I forgot that robbers can be used to unlock doors, I think.
Another mad dwarf, this one being hit by a Shrapmetal spell. I do so love that word. Shrapmetal.
You will fight monsters that drop stuff. Often I forget and then my inventory is chock full of all kinds of garbage. Thankfully there’s no encumbrance in this game, although there is a set number of items for each category that you can carry.
I want to point out that even though T. Bella unlocked the door successfully, she didn’t avoid the trap. Most of the dungeons in this game are rife with goddamn traps – and some are absolutely merciless.
More drinking from weird barrels. It hasn’t hurt us so far!
In addition to the mine codes we found earlier, there are a few ‘hidden’ deep mines. They’re not so hard to figure out once you’ve got the name of the first one.
Seen here – why I often can’t capture screens of monsters being hit. The screenshot hitches just enough that it either takes the picture before it’s hit or right after it’s dead and the game hasn’t updated yet. In this case it’s the latter.
See my little lizard friend waving his hand here? That means there’s a secret passage. And the only way to get through a secret passage is by bashing your head against it, obviously.
Awww shiiit, spiders. While not too annoying, poison is a pretty irritating condition in this game.
The dwarf mines are rife with these veins of gold. The deeper you go, the more you get from them, although there is a significantly higher chance of a cave-in injuring everyone too. Still, worth the risk, most of the time anyway.
Moooore spiiiiders.
Ha, this dwarf brought his grocery list to the mines! And now he’s dead!
I’m done with the dwarf mines for now, but we will be back. And maybe we’ll go hunting for some roots for that herbalist lady too.
ineedmayo.com Eidolon Journal Updated
So, we get back to Vertigo, rest, and… Aw shit, Chipotlady’s poisoned. See that ridiculous face? That means poison. We go to hail the Slime God and get her healed.
Then we pick up some food in the tavern. Each town has different ‘types’ of food, which basically just amounts to how many days you can be out without starving. Shangri-la, the ‘secret’ town I mentioned before, gives food that lasts 40 days for like 20 gold. Unfortunately until we get the beacon spell we won’t get to go there. Someday, though!
Just a quick look at some of the stuff we’ve been gathering.
Out near Toad Meadow there’s this schlub. Yeah yeah, nerdo, we’ll find your wife. Fiance. Whatever. But we’ll do it later.
In the meantime we gotta get us some of that sweet, sweet herb.
For some reason I really appreciate this little affirmation. “Do you want to get this?” “Yes.” “Okay, cool, you got it!”
Toad Meadow is home to snakes.
This snake is saaad that I hit him.
Oh yeah, and toads! There’s also toads in Toad Meadow.
I really love the reaction Toads have to being hit.
In order to keep you from just collecting all the roots at once and cashing in, you can only carry one root at a time. Super lame.
This is the tower, home to the aforementioned witches what turn people into toads. We’re not going there yet, it’s a bit out of our league at the moment.
Also, there’s skeletons about.
No, I don’t know how skeletons bleed either.
DON’T HIT ME MAN I’M SORRY
Yeah no SHIT.
We get the root back to Myrna and get some of that sweet dank antidote potion. It’ll actually prove really handy in the mines, cause there’s a lot of poison assholes in there.
I forgot to mention it earlier, but you do get awards for finishing various quests. Think of it as a primitive achievement system without the numbers go up addictiveness.
This fountain, opposite Myrna’s hut gives a temporary 25 HP boost. Actually not bad at all considering where we are in the game.
And we’re back in the mines, Mine 2 this time.
Another hint about the ‘secret’ mines.
Spiders!
Bats!
Gold (and cave-ins!)!
Mad Dwarves!
Tiger mol – Wait, tiger moles?
I’m just gonna be straight out and say this, Tiger Moles are straight assholes in this game. If I may post a quote from the strategy guide (which you get with the GoG version, really super handy):
TWO attacks? 2-24 damage? 40 HP when we’re lucky to do 10? These guys are brutal. For comparison, here’s the other enemies we’re fighting in the mines:
I’m pretty sure that by far they’re the most brutal enemies in the dwarf mines. But hey, as long as you only fight one at a time, they’re not that bad, so yeah.
And this guy went down without too much trouble, so whatevs. Not a big deal. I’ll just press on and –
AWW MOTHERFUCKER
So I’d like to introduce you to this game’s ‘oh shit’ button – Mr. Wizard. Basically if you find yourself fucked over, you can use this to warp yourself back to Vertigo (And I believe it’s always Vertigo). The drawback? You lose all of your gems. And that sucks. There are banks that will store your gems, and you better believe I’ll make use of those in the future. But in the meantime, it’s worth it to get away from those fucking tiger moles.
Everyone else is taking a nap.
Next time – back to the mines, to get revenge on those goddamned moles.
ineedmayo.com Eidolon Journal Updated
Yeah!
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Okay, so, due to some kind of miracle (commonly known as ‘I forgot to save and didn’t lose much progress’), the entire last update has been erased from history. And promptly rewritten almost exactly the same but not writing the part where I got nearly killed by tiger moles and lost all my gems. And now I’m at the bank, depositing most of my gems. I don’t want to deposit all of ‘em, because some spells use them!
After the bank, we make our way back to Mine 2, where we find another cryptic part of some puzzle! Hmmmm!
There’s not a ton of interesting features in these mines. I’ll try and show off what I can, but mostly it’s bones, barrels, bats, b-roken walls, big veins of gold…?
Oh and big chests of gold. Sometimes.
Sometimes cave-ins happen while we greedily mine the gold from the walls.
Sometimes everyone gets a lil’ bit sleepy.
So we decide to try and take a look outside. All of the main numbered mines actually have exits on the overworld! I’m not positive about the deep mines, though.
Well, this is unexciting.
Oh shit, lava! As lava is usually a sign of ‘This is a place too high-level for you’, I retreat to the relative safety of the dwarven mines.
And on to Mine 3 we go!
Woo! Excitement abounds!
Apparently just by touching these bones, you gain the danger sense ability.
Both of the chests you find in Mine 3 are empty. What a rip-off.
Oh shit, someone’s trying to send a message! I wonder if all of these bones are because of that, or just these bones?
Really, they should just put a drawing of tiger moles on the walls here.
Sadly, one of our brave party perished in the battle with the tiger moles.
And then just a few moments later, we lost another to some spiders. It’s important to remember that you should try and resurrect your dead party members as soon as possible. Not only because the less party members have the less effective you are, but also because they don’t gain experience, and if you get some crazy experience bonus, they’ll be lagging behind for what feels like forever.
But before we left to resurrect them, we discovered another piece of this perplexing puzzle!
Also, drinking from all those barrels has made Wendy’s strength pretty good.
So true (and a mad dwarf).
Onward, creepy minecart!
Another portion! Have you figured it out yet? It’s pretty obvious at this point.
Or is there? My gecko companion is telling me something.
Thanks gecko companion, you’re a real asshole.
Once again, touching bones makes you good at finding directions. Penis joke goes here.
If you look at the gem in the center of the screen, it now has the direction you’re facing on it. This comes in handy for some puzzles.
The final letter. So that spells… A-L-P-H-A. Yes, Deep Mine Alpha, and there are more Deep Mines too! The names for those are found in Alpha and successive Deep Mines, which seems like a staggeringly bad idea.
But whatevs, I ain’t here to judge. I’ma go back to the tavern, have a few brews, and then next time we’re taking on the Deep Mines and going after that Mad Dwarf King.
Also yeah, that code seems...not tough to crack.
ineedmayo.com Eidolon Journal Updated
Okay, so, the deep mines. The only thing they really have goin’ for them is the fact that they’re a bit bigger and the veins of gold tend to be worth more.
Unfortunately they’re pretty goddamn dull otherwise, with the exception of the last one, which is more annoying than boring. Basically the MO in each Deep Mine is ‘find the skeleton what has the next mine code on it, plunder the mine, move onto the next one.’
The deep mines are significantly more twisty than the previous ones, as well as there being lots and lots of secret passages.
Oh, and more Mad Dwarfs too.
Usually when you encounter ‘nothing but bones’ in the mines, they’re in front of a secret passage. Especially if said bones are in a conspicuous alcove.
The gold veins start to be worth a fair bit more.
This is the auto notes system, which is actually pretty cool for how much stuff it keeps track of for you. It doesn’t keep track of the stat boost colors, though I know M&M6 does.
We’ve only got two quests going on right now, but we’ll be busy pretty soon once we leave Vertigo.
Clan Sargeants are basically Mad Dwarves but more powerful. I thought they had a chance to drive your characters insane, but it never happened to mine.
Yup, the mines are preeeeeetty dull.
I’ve learned to not open these boxes. Stupid tiger moles.
And on and on and on…
Yup. Omega. It is the last one, of course.
Special note about poison – it doesn’t do damage over time, or lower stats. No, what it does is just flat-out kill you after a short time. Poison sucks, especially if you don’t have antidotes for it.
The mines may be boring as shit, but hey – they are also profitable as shit.
And so we move onto the next mine.
The gold veins in Omega are worth a LOOOOT of money. It’s worthwhile to try and find them, although…
Deep Mine Omega is some BULLSHIT because it is full of hidden passageways, most of which lead to nowhere useful. Occasionally a gold vein will be hiding behind it, but occasionally not.
Oh, and did I mention the fucking poison traps? That poison your ENTIRE party? Those are all over the place.
And after trudging through the poison traps, you’re greeted by the Dwarf King and his two sargeants. Also the Dwarf King can put everyone to sleep if he wants. Lovely. So rather than take him on normally…
Instead I just get the hell blessed out of me at the temple.
He ain’t so bad then. Not by a long shot.
His treasure chest is full of weapons & armor, as well as the vein behind him being worth 7000+. Of course, I still want to get the rest of those veins, so I decide to risk it.
It doesn’t work out exactly as well as I’d hoped, but I still make it back to town okay.
And we get a cheap joke and some nice experience as a reward.
Next up - I’m not sure. Perhaps witches?
the image of your entire party making goofy faces
priceless
that's the true curse of the mad dwarves
they make your face contort
permanently
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because it looks like they have their upper lip curled above their gum-line
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Back and rested (and in one case, resurrected), we sell off all the excess junk we have. Interesting to note that yeah, this game does have your weapons break, and like every other game where this happens, it’s still super annoying! Especially since I’m not constantly checking my armor so I’ll be looking at my characters’ stuff and find out ‘oh hey their armor’s been broken for probably forever.’
Next we get some training in pathfinding. This is a super handy skill, as you’ll soon see.
Stop by the fountain for a quick boost of HP, and…
Look at these woods. Impassable, right? They’re just a way to make a stupid maze that you have to navigate through.
OHH SHIIIIT
So in the woods there’s many things. Zombies and skeletons, for one. Also, these weird obelisks. They all have different functions.
Why yes, yes I do.
Part of the reason I love these games so much is that they’re absolutely littered with weird little things like this. They may not have the deep worldbuilding that a Bethesda game has, but there’s a certain charm in just being able to destroy this undead altar with the click of a button.
Excuse me WoX that is an entire skeleton and not just a bone whistle. Either that or it’s one helluva whistle.
This comes in handy later – but since we can’t swim just yet, we can’t finish the quest this is attached to.
There’s a hut in this 2x2 clear square in the middle of the forest.
In it is that dorkus from before’s lady. I don’t know how the zombies tied her to a chair, but hey.
Alright, have fun against the hordes of slavering undead!
This shrine gives you a temporary boost to electricity resistance.
Along the coast we find this dude. Well, we’ve got nothing better to do, might as well find this guy’s skull for him.
If you talk to him again he gets a bit snippy. Hey man, you’ve been waiting around for how long? You figure you’d learn patience after a while.
If we could swim we could open these bottles. We can’t, though – but eventually we’ll be able to.
Also in the forest is the entrance to the aptly-named Dungeon Of Death. We can’t go in yet, though.
This imposing fella tells us that we need the proper stone. Pretty much all the dungeons and towers are blocked off in this way – you either need a key or a stone to enter them. We’re not gonna hit the Dungeon of Death for while, though – it’s pretty fucking hardcore.
At the end of the road there’s a town, surrounded by swamp and horrifying mosquito creatures.
These things? Kinda annoying! Good experience, though.
We find our way back to Derek. You know Derek, she wasn’t even around zombies. You coulda saved her yourself! Thanks for the gold and experience, though!
This is a pretty nice fountain. The levels aren’t permanent but they’re good for a quick boost if you need it.
Outside of the town mentioned previously, there’s a former mermaid who gives us a quest. The Temple of Yak, despite its goofy name, is waaaay out of our league right now.
We’re not gonna enter Nightshadow just yet, as it’s still a bit high level for us, I believe. Right now we’re trying to get to Rivercity (which I initially thought this was, whoops).
The road to Rivercity is long…
Maybe a bit perilous…
But finally we find a shortcut.
Interestingly, the game actually walks you over the water to Rivercity. It’s a weird thing.
And now we’re here in Rive-WHAT IN GOD’S NAME IS THAT
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I always wondered.
Also, how dare you not keep Kastor in your party? I recognized his mug in the first part of the series. Do you have to not keep him?
So that thing we saw at the end of the last part? That’s an Insane Beggar. They’re messed up, and will do nothing but attack you. So naturally you kill the mentally ill. I’ll admit this makes the party seem a little… sketchy, but this is a game where the only things you encounter on the overworld are actively trying to kill you.
Yes, this is the name of the temple in Rivercity. Yeah, they’re a bit money-focused here.
The Insane Beggars are all over the damn place. Poor guys. Oh well, kill ‘em all!
Swimming is a highly useful skill to have, and to even use it at all, everyone needs to know how to swim.
The trees in Rivercity are downright cheeky.
These are Robbers. They’re kind of annoying, but have low enough HP to not be a major nuisance.
So, since we actually know how to swim now, we can get past the docks where we arrived at Rivercity.
This is the astrologer’s tent. He teaches astrology (fucking duh, right?), a skill of which I am not sure the use. I accidentally taught it to Wendy.
In the middle of everything there’s the Guildmaster for the mage’s guild. No, I don’t know why she’s in the middle of the goddamn river. Maybe she really dislikes processing applications.
We have no need for mountaineering just yet, but I’ll be back for this later. As you can see, even though we got a LOT of money from the dwarf mines, things are fucking expensive on Xeen.
Jokes – we got ‘em!
This is a small corridor just full of Insane Beggars. Yeah.
Now that we’re out of the beginning town, we’re starting to see a bit more variety in the equipment here. Equipment has suffixes and prefixes that do various things. Most of them somewhat obvious, but much like Diablo there are varying levels of each effect. I think I may do an update just showing off all the prefixes/suffixes, because I do have the strategy guide, which lists everything.
Also, how could I not buy the Gem of Fists? It takes me back…
Holy crap is the food way better in Rivercity! I mean, holy craaap!
Who the hell is Barok? Barok Obama?
I already did!
So he was a jerk? Or are the sorceresses jerks?
“And then punch it!”
Yeah it is! Insane beggars, robbers, what’s next?
Thanks, Crocodile Dundee!
We stop by the mage’s guild and buy some more spells.
I haven’t bought this yet, but realize that someday I will be casting this and the Divine equivalent all the time.
Levitate is always handy.
As is this.
Now this is amazingly handy. With it, we can now go to Shangri-La if we want (and we certainly will!).
Oh god oh god yes please.
This is the divine equivalent to Day Of Sorcery.
Hell yes.
Two things about the sorceresses – they dress incredibly tacky, and they’re apparently also goddamn Amazons.
They’re also… kinda rough at this level. Good experience for killing ‘em, though.
And their hit animation is hilarious and that blood splatter is incredibly unfortunately placed.
Don’t drink from the Rivercity well unless you want to be insane in the membrane (insane in the brain).
Those dead people are from fighting a couple sorceresses! Messed up! They drop gems when you kill them, though, so that’s super handy.
The 20,000 gold I had on me when I went to Rivercity is gone already. I have to go to the bank and get some out.
Bodybuilding is something I want to get in the future, but 6000 total is a bit much at the moment. Still, additional HP is always handy.
However, this is just too good to pass up at the moment, so I snap this up. It makes everyone more effective with their weapons.
I guess this is handy if you’re super desperate for money, but I never actually did it.
Realizing Rivercity is maybe a bit too real for us right now, we head back to Vertigo, and immediately leave Vertigo for…
This horrific statue! No shit it repels me!
We find this guy on the island and he immediately snatches the whistle out of our hands and activates the statues. If we’d found him beforehand we would have known that he lost the whistle that activates the magic statues that teach you some useful spells (cure poison and cure disease).
Oh, and now that we can swim we can read these messages in bottles. We’ll get you sometime, Crodo!
When we make camp for the night we get an image of this guy saying “PLEASANT DREAMS… MWAHAHAHA!”. I’m not sure why, because we didn’t trigger anything specific, and also this guy is only involved in Darkside of Xeen stuff. Ominous!
This nice old lady gives us the key to the witch tower. Guess where we’re going next.
Yuuup!
Next time: Witches get Stitches
And getting lost in deserts is a bad. time.
and then reaching the top as Oh Shit kicked in (which got ruined for me when I realized the last verse isn't trans friendly, bleh)
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