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Creative Insults! (Quite Possibly NSFW)

24

Posts

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    HunteraHuntera Rude Boy Registered User regular
    Butler wrote: »
    Huntera wrote: »
    I've yet to stub my toe, but i almost await the day I can yell BONES OF SAINT PETER when I do

    Whoa what

    we're gonna need to spend page 2 of the thread on this one

    Not since I realized that the best thing to yell when you are minorly injured is to yell about Catholic relics

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    XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    oh fiddle dee dee

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    The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Potato trombone

    BLM - ACAB
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    Crimson KingCrimson King Registered User regular
    why did the shakespearean insults need cat pictures

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    HeadCreepsHeadCreeps NOW IS THE TIME FOR DRINKING! Registered User regular
    Green wrote: »
    I'm a fan of creative cursing more than insults

    My favorite is probably JESUS CHRIST WITH A LASER GUN

    I'm kinda the same, though I'm not super creative. Just the typical "Christ on a cracker!" and "Fuck me sideways!"

    vEaRQgH.png
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    JusticeforPlutoJusticeforPluto Registered User regular
    Green wrote: »
    I'm a fan of creative cursing more than insults

    My favorite is probably JESUS CHRIST WITH A LASER GUN

    Jesus Tap Dancing Christ.

    That got yelled over Xbox live by some random.

    It was glorious.

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    pimentopimento she/they/pim Registered User regular
    why did the shakespearean insults need cat pictures

    because internet

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    Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    edited June 2014
    When things go wrong it's immensely satisfying to sign and follow up in a sarcastic voice, well, fuck a doodle doo.

    Blake T on
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    Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    Inquisitor wrote: »
    These are all cribbed from Transmet but they are all some of my favorites.

    "I don't give two tugs of a dead dog's cock" for truly not giving a shit.

    "The best part of you dried up on your mother's thigh" to insult someone.

    "Suck out my farts" as a general "fuck this" or "fuck you"

    Though I mean, I toss them around for humor more than anything else, if I am genuinely upset with someone or something I just get quiet and excuse myself.

    "You should have been a blowjob"

    After someone returns from the toilet - "Well, that's the best part of you gone"

    "Suck a fart out of my arse"

    "You're more disappointing than stillbirth"

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    PwnanObrienPwnanObrien He's right, life sucks. Registered User regular
    Chris Jericho has taught me the power of phrases like "gelatinous tape worm", "troglodyte" and "parasitic sycophants".

    Recently I've been itching to call somebody a "thought criminal with a mind full of felonies."

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    -Tal-Tal Registered User regular
    dumb idiot baby poopy face

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    The Otaku SuppositoryThe Otaku Suppository Bawstan New EnglandRegistered User regular
    rump-fucking stumblebum

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    Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    I'm a big fan of cursing. But butthole is the best insult. Occasionally I enjoy the more vulgar baroque style insults.

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    Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
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    XehalusXehalus Registered User regular
    we're playing Nickelback at your funeral and telling people you liked them

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    FAQFAQ Registered User regular
    thank you smof

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    CreaganCreagan Registered User regular
    edited June 2014
    I enjoy flicking others off in creative ways. Such as saying, "Oh hang on. I keep meaning to give you this." And then removing my hand, middle finger extended, from my pocket and offering it to the other person.

    Creagan on
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    Kick_04Kick_04 Registered User regular
    One person I know likes...
    "pusillanimous homosapien" or "Go take a long walk on a short pier"

    depending on the person I typically don't say anything or I will say dumb ass pronounced 'do-mas'

    PSN id - kickyoass1
    PaD id - 346,240,298
    Marvel FF - Lil bill12
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    FeriluceFeriluce Adrift on the morning star. Aberdeen, WARegistered User regular
    Oh, I'm sorry. I don't know how this machine works...

    XBox Live= LordFeriluce
    Steam: Feriluce
    Battle.net: Feriluce#1995
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    Mr FuzzbuttMr Fuzzbutt Registered User regular
    Creagan wrote: »
    I enjoy flicking others off in creative ways. Such as saying, "Oh hang on. I keep meaning to give you this." And then removing my hand, middle finger extended, from my pocket and offering it to the other person.

    The best is to point at nothing behind them so they turn and look, and when they turn back BAM there's already a stern look and a bird waiting for them.

    broken image link
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    MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    i like to use tailored insults to the person and situation so as to better undermine their self confidence.

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    GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    edited June 2014
    I think the best insult ever slung at me was when Knob called me "King Retard of Shitfuck Mountain."

    Goatmon on
    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204


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    LalaboxLalabox Registered User regular
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    Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    I'm pretty unoriginal with insults. For starters I only ever insult friends, generally if they've done something dumb, and I'll use bellend or numpty.

    Actually insulting people out of anger I only do under my breath because I don't like confrontation. And if I'm angry I don't tend to have any imagination so I just stick with the classics of twat and cunt. Apparently I don't mind gendered insults

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    Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    Cretin

    Bawbag

    Shitbird

    Pissweasel

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
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    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    "If it weren't such a catastrophic misuse of human endeavor, I would invent a time machine to go back and convince your mother semen is good for her complexion. As it stands, I will take solace in these words: You are a chronic waste of DNA and the greatest contribution you will ever achieve is to rot into fertilizer for some poor bastard's skunk weed."

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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
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    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited June 2014
    Overheard in boot camp:

    "Recruit, I have seen some dumb boys come through here, but you are Weapons Grade Stupid."

    I have actually used this one:

    "Fuck you, Mike!"

    "Honey, I wouldn't fuck you with a stolen dildo and ten lumberjacks pushing."

    Darth Waiter on
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    XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    Make like a tree and go fuck yourself!

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    BrainleechBrainleech 機知に富んだコメントはここにあります Registered User regular
    I have heard the Weapon Grade Stupid while in boot camp and in MEU training

    I told my LT after we got ambushed and he called for a regroup/retreat
    To fuck himself I was going to go die like a man!
    I think I flipped him off while I ran a flank into the ambush. It did rally the fireteam to join me

    I have used masturbation euphemisms, I have told women that are they planning on distracting bulls later with the amount of makeup they were wearing, I did tell someone with the bumper sticker of wwjd when they almost ran me down in a parking lot that he would at least have the decentency to use his turn signal

    When someone was talking about home schooling their kid I did say they would be quite good at misquoting Byron

    While being insulted I did tell someone I felt sorry for them that was the best they could come up with

    I have used insults in other languages and colloquialisms

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    KyouguKyougu Registered User regular
    I once told a friend that I wished I had a time machine just so I could go back in time to when his mom was pregnant with him and kick her in the stomach.

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    MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    I used to use cockmaster but then I realized it could be a compliment as well

    ikbUJdU.jpg
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    SimBenSimBen Hodor? Hodor Hodor.Registered User regular
    Inquisitor wrote: »
    Oh right this came up in another thread but people from Quebec have really creative swears and insults in general.

    I would pass on the second hand knowledge I have from my girlfriend but I think it would be better to leave it to a pro like @SimBen‌

    Sti d'calisse why are you involving me this this tabarnak d'osti de thread

    sig.gif
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    pimentopimento she/they/pim Registered User regular
    I've always like 'you're the Sidchrome of tools'.

    For the US audience, I guess replace Sidchrome with Snap-On. For anyone else, pick the local indestructable hand tool brand.

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    TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited June 2014
    In the Rockstar game Bully the mastermind villain calls the brutish one a homunculous and ever since then I've yearned for some time where I could use that one.

    TankHammer on
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    MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    'Crumb-bum'

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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    You fight like a dairy farmer.

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    MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    Your greatest contribution in this life is giving plants something to do.

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