Oh man, this was so hilarious I just have to share this with somebody.
I've been kind of flirting with this girl I know via myspace while I'm at work tonight when I said something about how all the ladies love me.
"You get the ladies because you're cocky and you know you look good." she said
"That's true." I said
"But that's not why I like you. You're uber tall, skinny, you play music and you like video games. I have a soft spot for tall guys." she continued.
to which I replied "What a coincidence! I have a hard spot for girls who like tall guys!"
then I proceeded to laugh so hard outloud that I received a repremand from my employer
Oh man, this was so hilarious I just have to share this with somebody.
I've been kind of flirting with this girl I know via myspace while I'm at work tonight when I said something about how all the ladies love me.
"You get the ladies because you're cocky and you know you look good." she said
"That's true." I said
"But that's not why I like you. You're uber tall, skinny, you play music and you like video games. I have a soft spot for tall guys." she continued.
to which I replied "What a coincidence! I have a hard spot for girls who like tall guys!"
then I proceeded to laugh so hard outloud that I received a repremand from my employer
I envision you meeting this girl, who will turn out the be the x-wife in the previous horror story. You two get together and one night over beers, the topic gets brought up and you get in a big fight at which point she lets herself get 5-manned again and this whole thread becomes reality.
This guy made my life a living hell at high school. Then a few years later he took a blind corner on the wrong side of the road and slid under the trailer of a lorry, getting decapitated in the process. Not the clean type of decapitating either, we're talking head ripped off your shoulders type stuff here. Which was nice.
I feel sorry for the lorry driver though, if only he knew that the guy he killed was a total asshole then all would be right with the world.
This guy made my life a living hell at high school. Then a few years later he took a blind corner on the wrong side of the road and slid under the trailer of a lorry, getting decapitated in the process. Not the clean type of decapitating either, we're talking head ripped off your shoulders type stuff here. Which was nice.
I feel sorry for the lorry driver though, if only he knew that the guy he killed was a total asshole then all would be right with the world.
Man, karma must have been ratarsed when he was working his calculator.
hey well whaddaya know bullying = decapitation on the karmometer
whaddaya mean put the bottle down, bitch, karma don't take shit from no-one
This guy made my life a living hell at high school. Then a few years later he took a blind corner on the wrong side of the road and slid under the trailer of a lorry, getting decapitated in the process. Not the clean type of decapitating either, we're talking head ripped off your shoulders type stuff here. Which was nice.
I feel sorry for the lorry driver though, if only he knew that the guy he killed was a total asshole then all would be right with the world.
Man, karma must have been ratarsed when he was working his calculator.
hey well whaddaya know bullying = decapitation on the karmometer
whaddaya mean put the bottle down, bitch, karma don't take shit from no-one
For all I know, he probably molested babies as well.
I have an ex that cheated on me and broke up with me the day before my birthday, over the phone, while at some other guy's house.
I wished herpes on her.
A year later I bumped into her at a Baja Fresh and she had a massive herpes breakout on her mouth.
I wish I could wish herpes on people. The worst thing I ever did was teach my ex's kids(3 and 5) all the curse words I could think of, and had them run around her house screaming them when we broke up.
I wish I could wish herpes on people. The worst thing I ever did was teach my ex's kids(3 and 5) all the curse words I could think of, and had them run around her house screaming them when we broke up.
See, the secret is to get herpes yourself and just spit on people you don't like.
My ex cheated on me and I left her. It devastated her for a while and I'm having more fun and freedom than I have had in a long time and she knows this.
My freshman year roommate in college was a giant douche, so I started putting little amounts of bleach and bug spray on this one fancy potted plant he took care of everyday, and sometimes I would pee in it when he wasn't around. I like to think he would be all taking care of it and was getting a big old wiff of my pee. It died a slow death after two weeks or so. The plant probably didn't deserve it, but that guy was a cockbutt.
My ex cheated on me and I left her. It devastated her for a while and I'm having more fun and freedom than I have had in a long time and she knows this.
That is all the "revenge" I need.
Arsenic7, u r cute.
do u want to double-team a girl with me?
[ ] Y
[ ] N
[ ] This is really just a pipe dream, since my girlfriend wouldn't be into it but hey, it's the internet right?
This guy who was a complete fuckhead in college got busted later for 11 counts of child pornography and one count of blackmail. He got really fucking fat, was an education major and last I heard his major was now Philosophy & Ethics.
Jordyn on
JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
While deployed we had a thief in our tent. After some investigation we found who it was and confronted him about it. He lied and said it wasnt him and the thefts stop for awhile. Then he got caught red handed taking some of my shit. We told the squad leader who just talked to him and it still happend. So I took it into my own hands. While he was off on guard I blew a load in his sunscreen(knowing he would have to use it) and then threw away his chap stick. Later on that day he was complaining that he didnt have any so I told him to just use the sunscreen as it would work just as well. Thats right kids, he had my babies swimming all over his lips.
It was only made better when i let out what happend and the rumors got around. I was confronted by that same squad leader who yelled at me infront of the other guys, then called me aside later and told me good job.
While deployed we had a thief in our tent. After some investigation we found who it was and confronted him about it. He lied and said it wasnt him and the thefts stop for awhile. Then he got caught red handed taking some of my shit. We told the squad leader who just talked to him and it still happend. So I took it into my own hands. While he was off on guard I blew a load in his sunscreen(knowing he would have to use it) and then threw away his chap stick. Later on that day he was complaining that he didnt have any so I told him to just use the sunscreen as it would work just as well. Thats right kids, he had my babies swimming all over his lips.
It was only made better when i let out what happend and the rumors got around. I was confronted by that same squad leader who yelled at me infront of the other guys, then called me aside later and told me good job.
and DNA is forever..
You should have tried to get a uv-light and found out how bright he would glow.
My ex cheated on me and I left her. It devastated her for a while and I'm having more fun and freedom than I have had in a long time and she knows this.
That is all the "revenge" I need.
Arsenic7, u r cute.
do u want to double-team a girl with me?
[X] Y - but I don't only kissing...for her. You can have the rest of me.
[ ] N
[ ] This is really just a pipe dream, since my girlfriend wouldn't be into it but hey, it's the internet right?
I found out a chick I dated and was actually really fond of cheated on me several several times, so we split up. 6 months later? She has the clap and genital warts.
I immediately ran to the clinic to get tested. Thankfully she contracted that shit after me. I laughed.
Remember that story knob told us about his friend?
That's the scariest thing I can think of. It would be heart crushing to watch your gf fuck 5 guys infront of you while you were being held down. The only thing worse would be if they were raping her.
I hate the feeling of being unable to do anything.
Dear God in heaven.
I almost murdered someone (not facetiously, but literally "I was beating him to within an inch of his life, and almost took the last inch had I not had a sudden revelation of prison") for sleeping with my ex. I think I would literally go completely psychotic if something like that happened. Like, I would be one of those Hulk-like freaks that just starts screaming and thrashing about, followed by knives and limb tearing and eye gouging, and all manner of the most horrifying things I could think of. I'd probably eat parts of them.
I heard about a guy from my primary school not too long ago, who'd parked up his car and left the handbrake off. The car pinned him up against a fence with his leg held under a tyre for quite a long amount of time, and now he's the proud owner of an artificial half-leg.
Posts
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I.. I... I'm...
Is there something wrong with me if I find that story beautiful and... warm?
Karma, baby. Karma all the way.
I've been kind of flirting with this girl I know via myspace while I'm at work tonight when I said something about how all the ladies love me.
"You get the ladies because you're cocky and you know you look good." she said
"That's true." I said
"But that's not why I like you. You're uber tall, skinny, you play music and you like video games. I have a soft spot for tall guys." she continued.
to which I replied "What a coincidence! I have a hard spot for girls who like tall guys!"
then I proceeded to laugh so hard outloud that I received a repremand from my employer
twitterfacebooksteamsomemusicofminetoomuchgunshegeekshow
I envision you meeting this girl, who will turn out the be the x-wife in the previous horror story. You two get together and one night over beers, the topic gets brought up and you get in a big fight at which point she lets herself get 5-manned again and this whole thread becomes reality.
bah you guys suck!
twitterfacebooksteamsomemusicofminetoomuchgunshegeekshow
I feel sorry for the lorry driver though, if only he knew that the guy he killed was a total asshole then all would be right with the world.
After, "I have a soft spot for tall guys"
I probably would have shouted 'YA! YOUR VAGINA!" while airhumping an imaginary her.
Man, karma must have been ratarsed when he was working his calculator.
hey well whaddaya know bullying = decapitation on the karmometer
whaddaya mean put the bottle down, bitch, karma don't take shit from no-one
For all I know, he probably molested babies as well.
Look around you.
Look around you!
Look around you!
I wished herpes on her.
A year later I bumped into her at a Baja Fresh and she had a massive herpes breakout on her mouth.
So basically I can wish herpes on people.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
See, the secret is to get herpes yourself and just spit on people you don't like.
Try to spit at open orifices.
I call it "Spitting Cobra Style".
I laughed at this until I saw who posted it.
That is all the "revenge" I need.
Secret Satan
That's harsh.
do u want to double-team a girl with me?
[ ] Y
[ ] N
[ ] This is really just a pipe dream, since my girlfriend wouldn't be into it but hey, it's the internet right?
lucky for me i got away with the girl scott free
JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
It was only made better when i let out what happend and the rumors got around. I was confronted by that same squad leader who yelled at me infront of the other guys, then called me aside later and told me good job.
and DNA is forever..
You should have tried to get a uv-light and found out how bright he would glow.
This guy's still here?
GTFO
oh. I thought it was letting the others watch as I loaded the sunscreen part that made me gay, but I see now it was the act as a whole ?!.
Secret Satan
I immediately ran to the clinic to get tested. Thankfully she contracted that shit after me. I laughed.
Dear God in heaven.
I almost murdered someone (not facetiously, but literally "I was beating him to within an inch of his life, and almost took the last inch had I not had a sudden revelation of prison") for sleeping with my ex. I think I would literally go completely psychotic if something like that happened. Like, I would be one of those Hulk-like freaks that just starts screaming and thrashing about, followed by knives and limb tearing and eye gouging, and all manner of the most horrifying things I could think of. I'd probably eat parts of them.