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No..."wuv," with an Earth W!

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    Peter EbelPeter Ebel CopenhagenRegistered User regular
    Guys, a swan woke me up. A swan, I tell you!

    It was hacking away at one of the windows. My dad thinks it's hacking away at it's reflection. I think it just wants to see the weird pink monkeys at the zoo.

    Fuck off and die.
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    FAQFAQ Registered User regular
    swans are assholes

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    ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    FAQ, I had a dream that involved you, crwth and tynic living in an apartment above me and you were all having the rowdiest movie night ever. It was so loud that it was making my apartment's layout change so I couldn't find the bathroom and I really had to pee.

    Please keep it down in the future.

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    FAQFAQ Registered User regular
    I've heard it from multiple sources now that dream me can be a real inconsiderate dickhead/griffin type creature

    I can only apologise

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    JoeUserJoeUser Forum Santa Registered User regular
    FAQ wrote: »
    swans are assholes

    Does the Queen still own all the swans?

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    FAQFAQ Registered User regular
    a major instigator of the events of 1916 was to free our swans from british tyranny

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    KarlKarl Registered User regular
    JoeUser wrote: »
    FAQ wrote: »
    swans are assholes

    Does the Queen still own all the swans?

    As far as I'm aware yes.

    I bet it's because they're delicious and she's keeping them all for herself.

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    Crimson KingCrimson King Registered User regular
    that's what the swans want you to think

    in actuality, they own the queen

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    KochikensKochikens Registered User regular
    According to QI and Stephen fry:
    - Most of the swans in England are free, they do not belong to anyone. The Queen only owns the mute swans. Apart from Royals, the only people allowed to eat swan are fellows of St. John's College, Cambridge on the 25th June. Swans have a fishy taste, although the best ones are fed on oats when they are young. The most common cause of death for swans is electrocution. (Forfeit: The Queen)

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    ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    I always mute Zwan.

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    Bad-BeatBad-Beat Registered User regular
    A black swan once honked at me in such a way, I swear he was trying to make fun of my haircut. Never went back to that barbers.

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    JoeUserJoeUser Forum Santa Registered User regular
    I wonder why swans and geese are such jerks

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    Mr FuzzbuttMr Fuzzbutt Registered User regular
    I used to live near a lake inhabited a colony of black swans.

    I only saw one being a jerk once, and that was because someone was teasing it with bread.

    broken image link
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    BrainleechBrainleech 機知に富んだコメントはここにあります Registered User regular
    Peter Ebel wrote: »
    Guys, a swan woke me up. A swan, I tell you!

    It was hacking away at one of the windows. My dad thinks it's hacking away at it's reflection. I think it just wants to see the weird pink monkeys at the zoo.

    Zeus wanted to get with you :winky:

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    JoeUserJoeUser Forum Santa Registered User regular
    I've only seen white swans, and not to be a swan racist, they have been pretty mean.

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    ChincymcchillaChincymcchilla Registered User regular
    Swans are total assholes

    One of them literally attacked a friend of mine and chased him to his car and then tried to GET IN HIS CAR when he tried to get in and close the door

    I have a podcast about Power Rangers:Teenagers With Attitude | TWA Facebook Group
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    BrainleechBrainleech 機知に富んだコメントはここにあります Registered User regular
    I have seen swans rough up some Canada geese so they get a pass in my book.

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    Bad-BeatBad-Beat Registered User regular
    edited April 2015
    Swans are total assholes

    One of them literally attacked a friend of mine and chased him to his car and then tried to GET IN HIS CAR when he tried to get in and close the door

    So Swans are descended from the Dilophosaurus, is what you're saying?

    Bad-Beat on
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    AbdhyiusAbdhyius Registered User regular
    I don't really have a lot of exes I could have severed all contact with if I wanted to. I don't live in a huge city so running into them, and having mutual friends with almost everyone I meet is practically unavoidable.

    I have had great results with just not talking to each other even when sat at the same table, though. I can recommend that it works great.

    ftOqU21.png
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    FAQFAQ Registered User regular
    edited April 2015
    now watching a youtube compilation about swan attacks

    FAQ on
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    tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Yeah black swans have always seemed pretty benign to me.

    There's a (lamentation? Drift? ...family) of (white) swans living in the river inlet outside my apartment. To be honest I don't interact with them much so I can't swear to them being assholes all the time. But they're definitely dicks to the kids who try to feed them.

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    KakodaimonosKakodaimonos Code fondler Helping the 1% get richerRegistered User regular
    Swans killed a guy in Chicago a few years ago. He was working for a company that provides swans to keep geese away and he went out on the pond in a kayak and the swans got him flipped over and he drowned.

    http://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local/Wife-of-Man-Killed-After-Swan-Attack-Files-Suit-255566771.html

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    AbdhyiusAbdhyius Registered User regular
    The shore I grew up by has always been inhabited by swans

    or, well, they live on the small islet out there. So I've always considered the shore neutral territory. Some people are terrified of swans. But I'm onto their bullshit. They're all bluster and a lot of feathers and a mean-ass hiss.

    Swans try to scare me away, I hiss back. Come on you feathery fuck. I ain't scared of your bullshit. My body mass greatly exceeds yours as I am not capable of flight and don't have hollow bones.

    Also I have these grabby things and you have that long grabbable neck. You ain't want no piece of this.


    and then they back off.

    ftOqU21.png
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    AbdhyiusAbdhyius Registered User regular
    I back off when they've got kids though. I can respect that.

    But when they're just grazing and go all "hiss hiss fuck off"?

    this is municipal land, bird! Free to all! I ain't backing down!

    ftOqU21.png
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    AbdhyiusAbdhyius Registered User regular
    furthermore the everyman's right granted by the Outdoor Recreation Act states that we all have equal right to access the ouch ouch stop biting me

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    OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    He was working for a company that provides swans to keep geese away

    This seems like a bad idea, because you're just replacing your goose problem with a swan problem.

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

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    Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    The black swans in perth are pretty chill dudes.

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    Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    Maybe the white swans are dicks because they are white.

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    OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    I dunno, that seems a bit humo-centric to project our flaws on other species.

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

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    FAQFAQ Registered User regular
    edited April 2015
    Would you French kiss a swan for 500 dollars?

    FAQ on
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    ChincymcchillaChincymcchilla Registered User regular
    FAQ wrote: »
    Would you French kids a swan for 500 dollars?

    what

    I have a podcast about Power Rangers:Teenagers With Attitude | TWA Facebook Group
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    HermanoHermano Registered User regular
    It's a little pricey but sure I'd pay it


    PSN- AHermano
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    VeldrinVeldrin Sham bam bamina Registered User regular
    Would you pay $500 to punch a swan in the neck?

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    AbdhyiusAbdhyius Registered User regular
    Veldrin wrote: »
    Would you pay $500 to punch a swan in the neck?

    I'd pay $1000 if I could grab it by the neck and use the swan to club other swans

    ftOqU21.png
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    Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    Blake T wrote: »
    The black swans in perth are pretty chill dudes.

    The white swans in Northam can be pretty aggressive. If they come at you though, a quick slap upside the head sorts them out right sharpish.

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    crwthcrwth THAT'S IT Registered User regular
    FAQ wrote: »
    Would you French kiss a swan for 500 dollars?
    in a new york minute

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    BrainleechBrainleech 機知に富んだコメントはここにあります Registered User regular
    crwth wrote: »
    FAQ wrote: »
    Would you French kiss a swan for 500 dollars?
    in a new york minute


    If it was Zeus as his sweet talking swan though?

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    FAQFAQ Registered User regular
    *wild animals can be dangerous do not attempt to kiss them*

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    FAQFAQ Registered User regular
    the last thing my ol pa ever said to me

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    JayKaosJayKaos Registered User regular
    Didn't follow his own advice, huh.

    Steam | SW-0844-0908-6004 and my Switch code
This discussion has been closed.