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[Bad Jokes]

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    darleysamdarleysam On my way to UKRegistered User regular
    Syphyre wrote: »
    May 18
    He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

    Pretty good, that. I wonder who said it first...

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    Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    knitdan wrote: »
    Rhesus how many times a week does someone grab your necktie, hold you up, and just start slapping you forehand and backhand

    Why do you think I have to tell all my jokes in a forum now?

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
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    DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    December 31-

    "You went to work and labored to earn money and you took that money wrung from the sweat of your brow and used it to purchase this shitty calendar."

    -Mark Twain to Winston Churchill

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    destroyah87destroyah87 They/Them Preferred: She/Her - Please UseRegistered User regular
    DaMoonRulz wrote: »
    December 31-

    "You went to work and labored to earn money and you took that money wrung from the sweat of your brow and used it to purchase this shitty calendar."

    -Mark Twain to Winston Churchill

    I think December 31st will just be an ad for the 2016 Joke a Day Calendar.

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    DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    DaMoonRulz wrote: »
    December 31-

    "You went to work and labored to earn money and you took that money wrung from the sweat of your brow and used it to purchase this shitty calendar."

    -Mark Twain to Winston Churchill

    I think December 31st will just be an ad for the 2016 Joke a Day Calendar.

    That would be pretty ballsy after the previous 364 days

    3basnids3lf9.jpg




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    Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    DaMoonRulz wrote: »
    DaMoonRulz wrote: »
    December 31-

    "You went to work and labored to earn money and you took that money wrung from the sweat of your brow and used it to purchase this shitty calendar."

    -Mark Twain to Winston Churchill

    I think December 31st will just be an ad for the 2016 Joke a Day Calendar.

    That would be pretty ballsy after the previous 364 days

    New 2016 calendar! Now with humour!

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
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    pimentopimento she/they/pim Registered User regular
    DaMoonRulz wrote: »
    DaMoonRulz wrote: »
    December 31-

    "You went to work and labored to earn money and you took that money wrung from the sweat of your brow and used it to purchase this shitty calendar."

    -Mark Twain to Winston Churchill

    I think December 31st will just be an ad for the 2016 Joke a Day Calendar.

    That would be pretty ballsy after the previous 364 days

    New 2016 calendar! Now with humour!*

    *For certain values of 'humour'.

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    Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    "Humour in question is black bile."

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
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    KaplarKaplar On Google MapsRegistered User regular
    I assumed it would just say "Happy new year. Fuck you"

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    The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    DaMoonRulz wrote: »
    DaMoonRulz wrote: »
    December 31-

    "You went to work and labored to earn money and you took that money wrung from the sweat of your brow and used it to purchase this shitty calendar."

    -Mark Twain to Winston Churchill

    I think December 31st will just be an ad for the 2016 Joke a Day Calendar.

    That would be pretty ballsy after the previous 364 days

    It would be a pretty great joke, though.

    BLM - ACAB
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    KaplarKaplar On Google MapsRegistered User regular
    edited May 2015
    IoOdupv.jpg

    Kaplar on
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    see317see317 Registered User regular
    Looks like their burgers aren't the only things getting flame grilled.

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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    Kaplar wrote: »
    IoOdupv.jpg

    There's no way that's real, right

    That can't be real

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    see317see317 Registered User regular
    Kaplar wrote: »
    IoOdupv.jpg
    There's no way that's real, right
    That can't be real
    Anyone could pick the name "Burger King Tralee" and post whatever they want using it.
    Doesn't mean it's actually coming from a BK employee, let alone anyone authorized to speak on behalf of BK.

    Kind of like that Nihilist Arby's twitter.

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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    Sorry guys, for a second there I was transported back to 1995

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    KaplarKaplar On Google MapsRegistered User regular
    You were, josh. You were.

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    see317see317 Registered User regular
    Sorry guys, for a second there I was transported back to 1995

    I hope you took the time to track me down and kick my ass. 15 year old me had it coming.

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    Desert LeviathanDesert Leviathan Registered User regular
    edited May 2015
    Kaplar wrote: »
    IoOdupv.jpg

    There's no way that's real, right

    That can't be real

    I've been piecing together the timeline on The Google.

    Early February 2014, the Burger King Tralee account opens. It spends its first couple weeks answering questions about wait times and gluten-free menu items in a professional manner. If it's a fake, then it's a well-constructed fake, showing a greater degree of patience and communication skills than I'd expect. Then this post happens around Feb 17th. The post, as well as the comment that prompted it, are quickly deleted, but not until after screenshots have gone viral.

    First, they claim to have been "hacked". Then, they claim it was a rogue employee. Then they apologize and offer a pancake breakfast to the community, to anyone who reposts their apology message. Then, the franchise owner pipes up to say "Hey, we don't have an official facebook page for that location in the first place! We have no idea who the hell that is."

    Based on this, what I think happened is that the store's general manager or somebody made a facebook page without jumping through all the hoops with corporate, it was briefly accessed by a rogue employee, and rather than own up to it the owners used the unverified status as a deniability shield. Then they told the manager, or whoever the architect of the Pancake Breakfast was, that they were overreaching their role re: PR, and needed to just play along with the new story.

    Desert Leviathan on
    Realizing lately that I don't really trust or respect basically any of the moderators here. So, good luck with life, friends! Hit me up on Twitter @DesertLeviathan
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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    Well it's more plausible than I expected that somebody at that location actually typed that out.

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    PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Yeah ZestRegistered User regular
    Sorry guys, for a second there I was transported back to 1995

    Next time you go, tell me not to sell all my dual lands for $5 each and instead buy way more for $5 each.

    Thanks.

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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    What do you call an Italian sex worker?
    A pasta-tute.

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    PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Yeah ZestRegistered User regular
    What do you call an Italian sex worker?
    A pasta-tute.

    What do you call a gassy Italian sex worker?!

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    GarthorGarthor Registered User regular
    Pinfeldorf wrote: »
    What do you call an Italian sex worker?
    A pasta-tute.

    What do you call a gassy Italian sex worker?!
    A pasta-toot.

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    SyphyreSyphyre A Dangerous Pastime Registered User regular
    May 19
    Employee Evaluation: "He's been working with glue too much."

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    DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    Syphyre wrote: »
    May 19
    Employee Evaluation: "He's been working with glue too much."

    Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines.

    3basnids3lf9.jpg




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    GreenGreen Stick around. I'm full of bad ideas.Registered User regular
    HOW DOES THAT IN ANY WAY CONSTITUTE A JOKE

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    Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    I've been reading this really engrossing book on glue lately

    I can't put it down

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    Green wrote: »
    HOW DOES THAT IN ANY WAY CONSTITUTE A JOKE
    AlanF5 wrote: »
    "Oh, Calendar! That's not a joke! Do you even know what a joke is?" We said it so often that a seed of doubt grew in me. Does the Calendar know something I don't? Perhaps I don't know what a joke is. Thus, as in many moments of uncertainty, I turned to Google.

    noun: joke; plural noun: jokes
    1. a thing that someone says to cause amusement or laughter, especially a story with a funny punchline.
      synonyms: funny story, jest, witticism, quip, pun, play on words
    2. a trick played on someone for fun.
      synonyms: trick, practical joke, prank, lark, stunt, hoax, jape, spoof
    3. a person or thing that is ridiculously inadequate.
      synonyms: laughingstock, object of ridicule, stooge, butt

    Oh.

    Oh.

    I think... this calendar may be the most complete joke of all time.

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    DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    Green wrote: »
    HOW DOES THAT IN ANY WAY CONSTITUTE A JOKE

    It's a sly way of saying he must be high from sniffing glue. It's not A material, but is is a joke.

    3basnids3lf9.jpg




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    GizzyGizzy i am a cat PhoenixRegistered User regular
    edited May 2015
    May 13
    Ie2MFWlm.jpg

    May 14
    UFj1CkYm.jpg

    May 15
    FHvFIafm.jpg

    May 16/17
    B3t4bQLm.jpg

    May 18
    hZ0rrffm.jpg

    May 19
    9EqLqtmm.jpg

    Gizzy on
    Switch Animal Crossing Friend Code: SW-5107-9276-1030
    Island Name: Felinefine
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    Jacques L'HommeJacques L'Homme BAH! He was a rank amateur compared to, DR. COLOSSUS!Registered User regular
    Why was the mathematician late for work?
    She took the rhombus that day.

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    SyphyreSyphyre A Dangerous Pastime Registered User regular
    May 20
    Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

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    destroyah87destroyah87 They/Them Preferred: She/Her - Please UseRegistered User regular
    Syphyre wrote: »
    May 20
    Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

    Because it steals the letters of other words, making them shorter, to prolong its cursed unnatural existence.

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    darleysamdarleysam On my way to UKRegistered User regular
    Syphyre wrote: »
    May 20
    Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
    darleysam wrote: »
    Syphyre wrote: »
    May 15
    Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

    And who thought 'dyslexia' was a good name for the condition?
    And why is 'abbreviate' such a long word?

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    ProlegomenaProlegomena Frictionless Spinning The VoidRegistered User regular
    edited May 2015
    darleysam wrote: »
    Syphyre wrote: »
    May 15
    Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

    And who thought 'dyslexia' was a good name for the condition?
    And why is 'abbreviate' such a long word?

    Well, now we know who wrote this thing.

    Prolegomena on
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    Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    A fine line by darleysam

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
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    darleysamdarleysam On my way to UKRegistered User regular
    It's like Buffy: when a Slayer dies, a new one appears.
    So, any requests for 2016?

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    TomantaTomanta Registered User regular
    darleysam wrote: »
    Syphyre wrote: »
    May 15
    Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

    And who thought 'dyslexia' was a good name for the condition?
    And why is 'abbreviate' such a long word?

    Well, now we know who wrote this thing.

    Unless....

    the calendar is using this thread for inspiration.

    Quick, someone call SCP!

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    DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    darleysam wrote: »
    It's like Buffy: when a Slayer dies, a new one appears.
    So, any requests for 2016?

    Puppies!

    3basnids3lf9.jpg




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    DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    Snug-a-day Calendar

    3basnids3lf9.jpg




This discussion has been closed.