I've paid real money for porn (he said to the surprise of no one).
I bought a friend of mine that Sarah Palin parody porn because he thought Sarah Palin was super hot. Apparently he decided to open the present in front of his dad and stepmom, since I had gotten it for him for Christmas. His dad thought it was the funniest shit in the world and his stepmom was significantly less than amused.
I don't find porn parodies terribly enthralling
Even if the pornstars in them are ones that I'm into
I dunno, it's weird
That doesn't really seem weird? I mean, porn parodies kind of emphasize the bad parts of porn (shitty acting, things that aren't porn) without even really adding a fetish component.
The chief virtue of porn parodies is the costuming. Which most of the talent don't seem to understand, because they can't hurry enough to strip it all off. And it's like, damn it, fully nude people banging is the single most abundant resource the Internet contains! Give me a little variety!
Unless that Wonder Woman outfit was rented, in which case they knew what they were getting into when they opened a Halloween store in Los Angeles, so just don't do anything too crazy, and dry clean that shit afterwards, and you'll get your security deposit back, I promise.
Desert Leviathan on
Realizing lately that I don't really trust or respect basically any of the moderators here. So, good luck with life, friends! Hit me up on Twitter @DesertLeviathan
The chief virtue of porn parodies is the costuming. Which most of the talent don't seem to understand, because they can't hurry enough to strip it all off. And it's like, damn it, fully nude people banging is the single most abundant resource the Internet contains! Give me a little variety!
The chief virtue of porn parodies is the costuming. Which most of the talent don't seem to understand, because they can't hurry enough to strip it all off. And it's like, damn it, fully nude people banging is the single most abundant resource the Internet contains! Give me a little variety!
You into that cfnm?
Not necessarily, the dudes can wear something fun too.
Realizing lately that I don't really trust or respect basically any of the moderators here. So, good luck with life, friends! Hit me up on Twitter @DesertLeviathan
I was on a date and she needed to get some formula on our way back so we went to Walmart.
We were looking around and talking when I saw a figure from a line I was collecting that was ripped apart on the shelf.
Out of context I said " Thats unfortunate"
What she heard was a response to " I decided my kids come first after my ex left"
It immediately clicked what had happened and I apologised profusely. Luckily she was used to collector nerds
I have a podcast now. It's about video games and anime!Find it here.
The first outing I ever went on with my wife, she tagged along as a third wheel while my friend and I bought an inflatable sheep called a Lovin' Lamb.
I'd suspect you were somebody I knew in real life, given the inflatable sheep thing, but he is less the "getting married" type and more the "still banging college girls" type.
When I was 14 I dated a 17-year-old for about 6 weeks. A large part of our relationship revolved around my poor social awareness and inability to read red flags and her willingness to make out with me.
Any specifics I get into would get too dark to be entertaining so let me just end it with "and that's why I didn't have another romantic relationship until I went to college out of state."
It was basically a, drop everything, move to Montreal and live with my then girlfriends family while going to school there while scrambling for a job and building up debt while only having a rudimentary grasp of French or
Stay where my friends and family are and where I have a stable financial situation while I acquire a teaching credential but part ways with someone who I could have seen myself one day marrying and have a family with.
I erred on the side of caution, and there is no real way for me to know how things would have played out had I chosen otherwise. Doesn't stop me from thinking about it, of course though.
I've been told Murphy's Oil Soap is the best thing to get blood out of...anything, by a friend of mine that is a janitor for a company that goes to funeral homes and mortuaries and stuff.
+2
Options
VivixenneRemember your training, and we'll get through this just fine.Registered Userregular
long before I came to Australia, my coworkers and I once rebelled against a shitty boss who called us back into work on a Thursday night, even though he wouldn't be back in until the following Monday to review our work anyway
put simply, someone had to go to the hospital to get stitches in her forehead, I had to be carried out of the building while unconscious, and when I got back to work the next morning the carpets were being washed
long before I came to Australia, my coworkers and I once rebelled against a shitty boss who called us back into work on a Thursday night, even though he wouldn't be back in until the following Monday to review our work anyway
put simply, someone had to go to the hospital to get stitches in her forehead, I had to be carried out of the building while unconscious, and when I got back to work the next morning the carpets were being washed
what
+26
Options
StraightziHere we may reign secure, and in my choice,To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered Userregular
long before I came to Australia, my coworkers and I once rebelled against a shitty boss who called us back into work on a Thursday night, even though he wouldn't be back in until the following Monday to review our work anyway
put simply, someone had to go to the hospital to get stitches in her forehead, I had to be carried out of the building while unconscious, and when I got back to work the next morning the carpets were being washed
what
rather than work when we got called back in on 9 pm on a Thursday night - again, to prepare a presentation that our boss wouldn't actually review until Monday because he didn't work Fridays - some folks in the office brought in vodka and pizza, and everyone was on board because we were fucking pissed off
it was a lot of vodka and not a lot of pizza
at some stage during the night, one person had to go to hospital because she tripped over someone who was passed out on the floor and smashed her forehead against the edge of a desk
MachwingIt looks like a harmless old computer, doesn't it?Left in this cave to rot ... or to flower!Registered Userregular
edited September 2016
I spent four and a half years getting a degree in Architectural Engineering. After the first two years, I realized Architectural Engineering is not Architecture (to be fair, the first two years were all GEs and classes shared with the architecture majors). A year later, I started hating my major. I spent a lot of nights the year after that crying on the couch when my housemate wasn't home. Eventually, I went to therapy and figured out that I needed to take care of myself, rather than try to become what my parents wanted me to be. Funny thing was, my parents were completely supportive of the idea of me switching majors or schools. It came up pretty often! I had a completely warped idea of what people wanted from me. You could tell me what your expectations were straight to my face and I'd assume you were lying if they weren't "Be perfect, or you're a waste of oxygen."
So I went back to school and now I work on video games. I'm a mere thirty five thousand dollars in debt, but I'm paying that off at a good pace.
Machwing on
+4
Options
MrMonroepassed outon the floor nowRegistered Userregular
MrMonroepassed outon the floor nowRegistered Userregular
I am now over $190k in the hole on that one because I don't pay the full amount (they want $1900/month if I'm not on IBR) and they capitalize the accrued interest.
I accepted being miserable and hating myself for twenty years before seeking professional help with that.
Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204
+1
Options
VivixenneRemember your training, and we'll get through this just fine.Registered Userregular
edited September 2016
I got a Finance degree to please my parents, worked briefly in the field, bounced around to different jobs that I absolutely hated (see: the one referenced earlier in this thread), was in an emtotionally manipulative and potentially abusive relationship for way too long
escaped to Perth, supported only by my boyfriend and my savings for upwards of 6 months, and was only able to go back to uni with help from my parents
I've been asked by my game design major, college roommates, my family, and just recently the area marketing manager for Dave & Buster's why I never went to school for game design.
I'm still pretty sure that would have been a path to agony and self-hatred. I'm mostly confident that I made the right call for myself by not following the siren song of perpetual crunch time, Metacritic, and dehumanizing conditions.
I just wish people would stop making me think I would have enjoyed it and been successful. They're clearly being absurd.
it is pretty amazing how much dumb bullshit a human being can endure and still end up pretty okay
+10
Options
AuralynxDarkness is a perspectiveWatching the ego workRegistered Userregular
I'm not sure it's 100% in line with what everyone else had to share, but:
When I was 12 or so, maybe a little younger, there were some other kids over during what was, now that I think about it, literally the last time my parents made any effort to entertain other adult people in the house who weren't related to us.
Somehow, in an escalating series of bad ideas, I crammed myself into a Cozy Coupe:
I was not a super-big kid but I definitely did not fit properly in the Cozy Coupe. I had my knees up towards my chest and my head crammed, more or less, into the roof.
The next step was, of course, to push the Cozy Coupe down the street we lived on, which was a mild incline. I should, at worst, have gotten out of this with bruises and banged against a parked car... except that clearly I'd go in a straight line right down the sidewalk.
So I don't entirely remember what ensued - pretty sure it got about a third of the way down the road, jumped the curb, and flipped on its front - but I ended up with my head gashed open, the roof of the Cozy Coupe painted red with the resulting fluids, and a concussion.
I'm sort of surprised I got out of adolescence without ever breaking anything but I sure did whack my head a lot. That was probably the second or third concussion I managed to get before getting out of high school.
Once upon a time I was set on getting into the Navy. Had an ASVAB score of 98 in General and high in pretty much every category. I was a shoe-in for sure. However, they wanted my medical records to clear up that a surgery I had on my wrist a couple years ago would not be detrimental. So I went to Kaiser, got a copy of my medical records, and handed it to the recruiter. Only I didn't just give them the records relating to that one surgery, I gave them EVERYTHING. And there was a nice bullet in there with my name on it.
When I was in elementary school I had been diagnosed with ADD. I saw a psychiatrist pretty often during this time period and sometime around junior high finally learned how to mentally handle myself to the point that I no longer consider myself as having ADD aside from caffeine calming me down instead of hyping me up. Anyway. Those psychiatrist visits were in there, only they'd been mislabeled as something else. Wasn't ADD as the reason, it was AD. Nevermind how that doesn't really make much sense, military looks for any reason to cut before MEPS and they saw the word "depression" and that was the hammer of the pistol being pulled back.
They were hesitant to let me go by that point though, as I'd also aced the Nuke test for the Navy and had expressed interest in becoming one. So they scheduled me for a psychiatric visit of their own down at MEPS. Over the course of the visit the military psychiatrist learned that I didn't do drugs, didn't drink alcohol, and my interests were writing and playing video games. However, that's not what he stuck on the most. Nope. One of his questions were "How sexually active are you?" And me being me, I responded truthfully by saying I had no interest in sex or a romantic relationship at any point. That's when he ended the interview, thanked me for my time, and the next day I got the official rejection.
So basically because of my bonehead error I caused the military to question if I was suffering from depression which led to them learning I was asexual and apparently that's just a little too much for them to accept as mentally healthy.
Of course by the time this was all resolved I'd spent years chasing various recruiters, had gone to MEPS no less than three times prior to this, and even got a letter from my congressman saying he'd tried contacting the Surgeon General of the Navy but their decision remained the same. During that time I'd gone to college and gotten an Associates in Computer Graphics, which I'd chosen because hey I only need an AA in the military to qualify for some stuff so let's pick an easy one. When military didn't pan out I was left with an Associates I sucked at and little idea of what to do next. I liked computers, so I started to do some research on a Bachelors in IT. Guess where I ended up in my podunk little town where only one university offered such a thing.
University of Phoenix. Also known as probably the next school to fall under the hammer of the DoE if there is justice in the world. Several years after that I had a Bachelors, hadn't learned anything that would be applicable to a tech job because Phoenix focuses more on how tech applies to business instead of things like tech specs or troubleshooting, and was now $30,000 in debt in a job that puts me just barely above the poverty line. I'm still paying for my series of choices years later with no sign of breaking the surface of the waves any time soon.
The only time I've ever had an awkward interaction with a girl I liked was my freshman year of high school, when I asked a girl out on the last day of school and she responded with a basic "Uhhhh, I have to go my mom is here." Which should have been a massive hint that she was not fucking interested, but thathe didnt stop me from calling her weeks later, in front of a few friends, to find out that she in no uncertain terms was not into me.
On a totally unrelated note, on the day we arrived in LA, I had been holding in pee for hours while driving so that we could make it to an apartment showing. I got the moving truck and trailer parked and told my girlfriend and our roommate to go on ahead and meet the building manager. I decided that since it would be awkward to ask to use the bathroom first thing at a showing (this was my first time apartment hunting), I would just do my business in a cup while in the truck. I ended up spilling a portion of the cup's contents onto my pants while exiting the truck. I had to go to the showing with urine all over the front of my pants. Luckily it was very hot and sunny that day, and I had parked a decent ways away so it had a chance to dry, but it was super awkward for me. I had constant paranoia that everyone could tell I had essentially wet my pants. Nobody ever brought it up though, so maybe I was in the clear?
Posts
That doesn't really seem weird? I mean, porn parodies kind of emphasize the bad parts of porn (shitty acting, things that aren't porn) without even really adding a fetish component.
This will be here until I receive an apology or Weedlordvegeta get any consequences for being a bully
Unless that Wonder Woman outfit was rented, in which case they knew what they were getting into when they opened a Halloween store in Los Angeles, so just don't do anything too crazy, and dry clean that shit afterwards, and you'll get your security deposit back, I promise.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAA
Steam ID - VeldrinD | SS Post | Wishlist
You into that cfnm?
Not necessarily, the dudes can wear something fun too.
We were looking around and talking when I saw a figure from a line I was collecting that was ripped apart on the shelf.
Out of context I said " Thats unfortunate"
What she heard was a response to " I decided my kids come first after my ex left"
It immediately clicked what had happened and I apologised profusely. Luckily she was used to collector nerds
I'd suspect you were somebody I knew in real life, given the inflatable sheep thing, but he is less the "getting married" type and more the "still banging college girls" type.
Any specifics I get into would get too dark to be entertaining so let me just end it with "and that's why I didn't have another romantic relationship until I went to college out of state."
I spent an entire semester at college blowing off class to go play arcade games
I didn't take care of my blood presssure and ruined my kidneys
-Indiana Solo, runner of blades
In late January.
During a snap-blizzard.
I moved to Montreal
At least you'll have time to get used to it?
I drove there overnight in a snowstorm in a car with difficult-to-read kilometer conversions.
I'm pretty sure the border guards assumed I was either stupid or running drugs but he wasn't getting out of his heated box to see.
It is unclear if this was a goof or not.
It was basically a, drop everything, move to Montreal and live with my then girlfriends family while going to school there while scrambling for a job and building up debt while only having a rudimentary grasp of French or
Stay where my friends and family are and where I have a stable financial situation while I acquire a teaching credential but part ways with someone who I could have seen myself one day marrying and have a family with.
I erred on the side of caution, and there is no real way for me to know how things would have played out had I chosen otherwise. Doesn't stop me from thinking about it, of course though.
I mistook fried okra for popcorn chicken
put simply, someone had to go to the hospital to get stitches in her forehead, I had to be carried out of the building while unconscious, and when I got back to work the next morning the carpets were being washed
what
This but 100% serious
I don't really like pornography for its overt nature, so I'm all about goofy porn parodies
it was a lot of vodka and not a lot of pizza
at some stage during the night, one person had to go to hospital because she tripped over someone who was passed out on the floor and smashed her forehead against the edge of a desk
the person who was passed out on the floor?
GUESS WHO
So I went back to school and now I work on video games. I'm a mere thirty five thousand dollars in debt, but I'm paying that off at a good pace.
christ what a fucking moron
what
a
fucking
moron
I just try to avoid any situation where I have to own up to them because that will damage my reputation as the most best perfect human ever
escaped to Perth, supported only by my boyfriend and my savings for upwards of 6 months, and was only able to go back to uni with help from my parents
I'm still pretty sure that would have been a path to agony and self-hatred. I'm mostly confident that I made the right call for myself by not following the siren song of perpetual crunch time, Metacritic, and dehumanizing conditions.
I just wish people would stop making me think I would have enjoyed it and been successful. They're clearly being absurd.
When I was 12 or so, maybe a little younger, there were some other kids over during what was, now that I think about it, literally the last time my parents made any effort to entertain other adult people in the house who weren't related to us.
Somehow, in an escalating series of bad ideas, I crammed myself into a Cozy Coupe:
I was not a super-big kid but I definitely did not fit properly in the Cozy Coupe. I had my knees up towards my chest and my head crammed, more or less, into the roof.
The next step was, of course, to push the Cozy Coupe down the street we lived on, which was a mild incline. I should, at worst, have gotten out of this with bruises and banged against a parked car... except that clearly I'd go in a straight line right down the sidewalk.
So I don't entirely remember what ensued - pretty sure it got about a third of the way down the road, jumped the curb, and flipped on its front - but I ended up with my head gashed open, the roof of the Cozy Coupe painted red with the resulting fluids, and a concussion.
I'm sort of surprised I got out of adolescence without ever breaking anything but I sure did whack my head a lot. That was probably the second or third concussion I managed to get before getting out of high school.
When I was in elementary school I had been diagnosed with ADD. I saw a psychiatrist pretty often during this time period and sometime around junior high finally learned how to mentally handle myself to the point that I no longer consider myself as having ADD aside from caffeine calming me down instead of hyping me up. Anyway. Those psychiatrist visits were in there, only they'd been mislabeled as something else. Wasn't ADD as the reason, it was AD. Nevermind how that doesn't really make much sense, military looks for any reason to cut before MEPS and they saw the word "depression" and that was the hammer of the pistol being pulled back.
They were hesitant to let me go by that point though, as I'd also aced the Nuke test for the Navy and had expressed interest in becoming one. So they scheduled me for a psychiatric visit of their own down at MEPS. Over the course of the visit the military psychiatrist learned that I didn't do drugs, didn't drink alcohol, and my interests were writing and playing video games. However, that's not what he stuck on the most. Nope. One of his questions were "How sexually active are you?" And me being me, I responded truthfully by saying I had no interest in sex or a romantic relationship at any point. That's when he ended the interview, thanked me for my time, and the next day I got the official rejection.
So basically because of my bonehead error I caused the military to question if I was suffering from depression which led to them learning I was asexual and apparently that's just a little too much for them to accept as mentally healthy.
Of course by the time this was all resolved I'd spent years chasing various recruiters, had gone to MEPS no less than three times prior to this, and even got a letter from my congressman saying he'd tried contacting the Surgeon General of the Navy but their decision remained the same. During that time I'd gone to college and gotten an Associates in Computer Graphics, which I'd chosen because hey I only need an AA in the military to qualify for some stuff so let's pick an easy one. When military didn't pan out I was left with an Associates I sucked at and little idea of what to do next. I liked computers, so I started to do some research on a Bachelors in IT. Guess where I ended up in my podunk little town where only one university offered such a thing.
University of Phoenix. Also known as probably the next school to fall under the hammer of the DoE if there is justice in the world. Several years after that I had a Bachelors, hadn't learned anything that would be applicable to a tech job because Phoenix focuses more on how tech applies to business instead of things like tech specs or troubleshooting, and was now $30,000 in debt in a job that puts me just barely above the poverty line. I'm still paying for my series of choices years later with no sign of breaking the surface of the waves any time soon.
I'll tell my France story instead, many lessons to be learned from that.
http://www.fallout3nexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=16534
On a totally unrelated note, on the day we arrived in LA, I had been holding in pee for hours while driving so that we could make it to an apartment showing. I got the moving truck and trailer parked and told my girlfriend and our roommate to go on ahead and meet the building manager. I decided that since it would be awkward to ask to use the bathroom first thing at a showing (this was my first time apartment hunting), I would just do my business in a cup while in the truck. I ended up spilling a portion of the cup's contents onto my pants while exiting the truck. I had to go to the showing with urine all over the front of my pants. Luckily it was very hot and sunny that day, and I had parked a decent ways away so it had a chance to dry, but it was super awkward for me. I had constant paranoia that everyone could tell I had essentially wet my pants. Nobody ever brought it up though, so maybe I was in the clear?