I would like to have my body hoisted to the top of a tower of silence so my flesh can be eaten by vultures.
But I don't think my family would appreciate that much.
I don't know what a tower of silence is, but I am quite attracted to the idea of being fed to vultures. A vulture in flight is really quite a beautiful bird... and I like the idea of the physical stuff of my body being recirculated back into the ecosystem rather than being locked away underground or in a vault or whatever. The worst are those "eternity lifejewels" diamonds or whatever they're called. They freak me out.
Eh, I just want a bad ass party to remember the good times. For all I care, they could take my corpse and throw it into the ocean.
Fuck those expensive ass funerals.
Also - It'd be sweet if they stuffed my body with fire crackers, slid my body into a cannon and shot it into the sky and over several lines up monster trucks.
SkyGheNe on
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VariableMouth CongressStroke Me Lady FameRegistered Userregular
edited July 2007
ideally I'll be ground up and all my friends will smoke me.
The most economical funeral possible.
Without violating any laws, this means no speech, no party, a simple cremation and maybe an Urn so my relatives can take the ashes home. After that, they may dump it somewhere for all I care.
To quote Ambrose Bierce:
"FUNERAL, n.
A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.
The savage dies -- they sacrifice a horse
To bear to happy hunting-grounds the corse.
Our friends expire -- we make the money fly
In hope their souls will chase it to the sky."
Ferrus on
I would like to pause for a moment, to talk about my penis.
My penis is like a toddler. A toddler—who is a perfectly normal size for his age—on a long road trip to what he thinks is Disney World. My penis is excited because he hasn’t been to Disney World in a long, long time, but remembers a time when he used to go every day. So now the penis toddler is constantly fidgeting, whining “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? How about now? Now? How about... now?”
And Disney World is nowhere in sight.
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Zilla36021st Century. |She/Her|Trans* Woman In Aviators Firing A Bazooka. ⚛️Registered Userregular
I would like to have my body hoisted to the top of a tower of silence so my flesh can be eaten by vultures.
But I don't think my family would appreciate that much.
I don't know what a tower of silence is, but I am quite attracted to the idea of being fed to vultures. A vulture in flight is really quite a beautiful bird... and I like the idea of the physical stuff of my body being recirculated back into the ecosystem rather than being locked away underground or in a vault or whatever. The worst are those "eternity lifejewels" diamonds or whatever they're called. They freak me out.
You can wiki 'tower of silence.' It's basically a Zoroastrian tomb, only the bodies are laid along the outside to be, well, food for vultures.
Feral on
every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
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Golden YakBurnished BovineThe sunny beaches of CanadaRegistered Userregular
edited July 2007
Cremation and burial at sea. That's the ticket. They can have my organ meats if there are any still useable (I wouldn't count on it, you organ-less leeches), but the rest of me gets fried and spread wide. If by some chance your consciousness stays with your earthly remains, that'll be the best way to spend eternity. Just drifting far and wide, hanging out with all the marine life.
But yeah, funerals are mainly for the benefit of people left behind, not the person who died. That's why they always lie at them about how great a person the deceased was. No one wants to read 'Was a Total Jerk, Actually,' on a tombstone. Although, if I ever get one, I'd have a few choice words to engrave on it...
At my funeral, I don't really care if anyone tries to enforce their religion. I just want strippers. Strippers, moonshine served in mason jars, and a 40 in a paper sack stuck in my coffin so I can get my drink on if I'm wrong and rapture really happens. It would also rock if there was a live musical act. I want all of my friends and family to get absolutely trashed, and then they can think of a creative way to dispose of my body while they're shitfaced. Then when the morning comes, if my body is still intact, I want one of my friends to do a giant line of coke off of the coffin lid, and carry my coffin single handedly to the graveyard while the rest of the precession walks behind him singing the classic hits of Black Sabbath and Gwar.
Alternately, I wish my body to be loaded into a circus cannon and fired directly into an oncoming bus. Preferrably a british double-decker, loaded with every single enemy I have.
And lastly, instead of a headstone if I am buried, I want there to be a stripper pole cemented into the ground. That will be my legacy to the future generations trying to get lucky in the graveyard, and their source of inspiration.
I would like to have my body hoisted to the top of a tower of silence so my flesh can be eaten by vultures.
But I don't think my family would appreciate that much.
I don't know what a tower of silence is, but I am quite attracted to the idea of being fed to vultures. A vulture in flight is really quite a beautiful bird... and I like the idea of the physical stuff of my body being recirculated back into the ecosystem rather than being locked away underground or in a vault or whatever. The worst are those "eternity lifejewels" diamonds or whatever they're called. They freak me out.
You can wiki 'tower of silence.' It's basically a Zoroastrian tomb, only the bodies are laid along the outside to be, well, food for vultures.
So, you ZOROASTRIAN, trying to CONVERT us good solid atheists by SNEAKING your SUPERSTITIOUS BELIEFS into our thread, huh???
I would like to have my body hoisted to the top of a tower of silence so my flesh can be eaten by vultures.
But I don't think my family would appreciate that much.
I don't know what a tower of silence is, but I am quite attracted to the idea of being fed to vultures. A vulture in flight is really quite a beautiful bird... and I like the idea of the physical stuff of my body being recirculated back into the ecosystem rather than being locked away underground or in a vault or whatever. The worst are those "eternity lifejewels" diamonds or whatever they're called. They freak me out.
You can wiki 'tower of silence.' It's basically a Zoroastrian tomb, only the bodies are laid along the outside to be, well, food for vultures.
So, you ZOROASTRIAN, trying to CONVERT us good solid atheists by SNEAKING your SUPERSTITIOUS BELIEFS into our thread, huh???
Persoanlly, I would want something akin to a Speaker for the Dead and to have it all transcribed and stored somewhere. As a historian, it just makes the most sense to me. As to everything else, well thats my loved ones business, not mine.
A great barrier to correct thinking is language itself, which, because it has a name for death, may suggest that death (being dead) is something a person can experience and hence deserves to be feared.
We aren't troubled by the years before we were born, so why be troubled by the ones that will pass after our death? Of course, I don't completely follow that, as I certainly don't want to die. However, it's somewhat poetic and well in the line of comforting eulogy.
A great barrier to correct thinking is language itself, which, because it has a name for death, may suggest that death (being dead) is something a person can experience and hence deserves to be feared.
We aren't troubled by the years before we were born, so why be troubled by the ones that will pass after our death? Of course, I don't completely follow that, as I certainly don't want to die. However, it's somewhat poetic and well in the line of comforting eulogy.
Limed because I know I quit worrying a lot about death once (I think) my mother suggested this idea to me.
I don't really get it. I don't get why someone would care what their funeral was like, particularly an atheist. I mean, it isn't really for the dead guy. It is so the people who knew them. If having a guy in a robe say some words over 150 lbs of decaying meat will help comfort those people, then who am I to say it shouldn't happen?
Now, in my personal case, those words would just fall of deaf ears, so I doubt it would happen, but if I felt it would make a diffrence and actually had funeral plans draw up, they would include something along those lines.
I'm an atheist, and my first instinct is to say "keep religion away from my funeral!" but really it doesn't matter what they do. They could ship my body to some creepy necrophiliac for all I care.
I don't really care what happens at my funeral as long as it's known that I don't necessarily approve of any of it.
and oh god don't let Yar see this thread
Why, what does Yar think about funerals? I'm having trouble coming up with an opinion on this that would be radical enough to get him notoriety like that.
Wasn't Yar the one who said that he wanted his skull put on a spring and place in a chest so when future archaeologists opened it would scare the shit out of them?
A great barrier to correct thinking is language itself, which, because it has a name for death, may suggest that death (being dead) is something a person can experience and hence deserves to be feared.
We aren't troubled by the years before we were born, so why be troubled by the ones that will pass after our death? Of course, I don't completely follow that, as I certainly don't want to die. However, it's somewhat poetic and well in the line of comforting eulogy.
That would be pretty cool - but if you can get Epicurus to read something at your funeral, why do you really need a funeral in the first place?
You can transplant anything that's still usable and chuck the rest in the incinerator. Spend anything you would have spent on a funeral on a damn good piss-up instead.
Alternatively, I will put a bunch of completely ludicrous stipulations in my will along the lines of "everyone must attend in drag" or maybe "you've got to wear your shoes on the wrong feet". After the funeral, my solicitor will play a video of me shouting "Haha, you fuckers! Try and get me back for that."
Wasn't Yar the one who said that he wanted his skull put on a spring and place in a chest so when future archaeologists opened it would scare the shit out of them?
"It is every citizen's final duty to go into the tanks."
My mom wants the song "Think of Me" from phantom of the opera played at her funeral (the original version), and I believe she wants her ashes scattered along the beach where she grew up back in Australia. She misses her home so much. Just thinking about that makes my eyes water a bit.
but in reference to the recycling, I must recommend the book Stiff by Mary Roach. It's quite funny and it explores what happens to a dead body both in present times and in the past. For example - bodies that are donated to science are: sent to decay on a farm in Virgina to teach detectives about forensics, used as 'real' crash dummies (helping to develop safer and more effective seat belts and such), and used as practice for plastic surgeons and other doctors.
Also, when a body is embalmed it is preserved for a couple of weeks, then it begins to decay anyway.
I'm interested in what I think is a swedish method. The body is deep frozen with liquid nitrogen, then blasted into tiny pieces by sound waves. It can either be scattered a la ashes but without the pollutants from cremation, which include mercury from fillings. Another option is to use the remains to fertilize some kind of 'memorial plant.' I find this a profound way to exit the world - to become permanantly part of nature once again, to return to the basic materials that created us.
I love that " We aren't troubled by the years before we were born, so why be troubled by the ones that will pass after our death" idea. When I say that to people they think I'm suggesting that we shouldn't care about future generations or some shit, which is missing the point by a mile.
I'm an atheist, and my first instinct is to say "keep religion away from my funeral!" but really it doesn't matter what they do. They could ship my body to some creepy necrophiliac for all I care.
I don't really care what happens at my funeral as long as it's known that I don't necessarily approve of any of it.
and oh god don't let Yar see this thread
Why, what does Yar think about funerals? I'm having trouble coming up with an opinion on this that would be radical enough to get him notoriety like that.
Wasn't Yar the one who said that he wanted his skull put on a spring and place in a chest so when future archaeologists opened it would scare the shit out of them?
I always liked the idea this guy in Britain had, that I read a news story on a couple months back. He had a date planned for his living-funeral so that he could be there and enjoy it with his friends. sadly, he died like a week before it happened.
KungFu on
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FalloutGIRL'S DAYWAS PRETTY GOOD WHILE THEY LASTEDRegistered Userregular
edited July 2007
When I die my family can do whatever makes them happiest.
And lastly, instead of a headstone if I am buried, I want there to be a stripper pole cemented into the ground. That will be my legacy to the future generations trying to get lucky in the graveyard, and their source of inspiration.
Meh, I'm getting a statue of Darth Vader doing the force choke thing pointed in the general direction of the closest Jesus statue.
I'm an atheist, and my first instinct is to say "keep religion away from my funeral!" but really it doesn't matter what they do. They could ship my body to some creepy necrophiliac for all I care.
I don't really care what happens at my funeral as long as it's known that I don't necessarily approve of any of it.
and oh god don't let Yar see this thread
Why, what does Yar think about funerals? I'm having trouble coming up with an opinion on this that would be radical enough to get him notoriety like that.
From the title of the thread I'm still expecting him to burst in and shout "aha! further proof atheism is just another religion!"
You can transplant anything that's still usable and chuck the rest in the incinerator. Spend anything you would have spent on a funeral on a damn good piss-up instead.
Maybe it's a Scottish thing, but this pretty accurately describes every funeral I've ever experienced.
Posts
"Hey. Psst. Kids.
I've got treasure in here."
"The secret files are in the ARRRARARAGGGHHHHH *thump*"
Here be buried treasure
ladies
But I don't think my family would appreciate that much.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
Into Soylent Green, perhaps.
I don't know what a tower of silence is, but I am quite attracted to the idea of being fed to vultures. A vulture in flight is really quite a beautiful bird... and I like the idea of the physical stuff of my body being recirculated back into the ecosystem rather than being locked away underground or in a vault or whatever. The worst are those "eternity lifejewels" diamonds or whatever they're called. They freak me out.
I'll still get a burial plot, though. But instead of all that room being taken up by a coffin, I'll just have a giant statue of me there.
Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
Fuck those expensive ass funerals.
Also - It'd be sweet if they stuffed my body with fire crackers, slid my body into a cannon and shot it into the sky and over several lines up monster trucks.
Without violating any laws, this means no speech, no party, a simple cremation and maybe an Urn so my relatives can take the ashes home. After that, they may dump it somewhere for all I care.
To quote Ambrose Bierce:
"FUNERAL, n.
A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.
The savage dies -- they sacrifice a horse
To bear to happy hunting-grounds the corse.
Our friends expire -- we make the money fly
In hope their souls will chase it to the sky."
And Disney World is nowhere in sight.
http://www.last.fm/music/Harvey+Danger/_/Flagpole+Sitta :P
You can wiki 'tower of silence.' It's basically a Zoroastrian tomb, only the bodies are laid along the outside to be, well, food for vultures.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
But yeah, funerals are mainly for the benefit of people left behind, not the person who died. That's why they always lie at them about how great a person the deceased was. No one wants to read 'Was a Total Jerk, Actually,' on a tombstone. Although, if I ever get one, I'd have a few choice words to engrave on it...
Alternately, I wish my body to be loaded into a circus cannon and fired directly into an oncoming bus. Preferrably a british double-decker, loaded with every single enemy I have.
And lastly, instead of a headstone if I am buried, I want there to be a stripper pole cemented into the ground. That will be my legacy to the future generations trying to get lucky in the graveyard, and their source of inspiration.
I'd like a swing set over my grave, for those women who have suspension kinks.
So, you ZOROASTRIAN, trying to CONVERT us good solid atheists by SNEAKING your SUPERSTITIOUS BELIEFS into our thread, huh???
Well, I'm ONTO YOU, buddy!!!
Lots pf different cultures have practiced it. There are even a few Neolithic long bones with canid tooth marks on them, suggesting defleshing by wolves or domestic dogs.
It better be legal. At least until after I've been offered to the vultures and ravens.
We aren't troubled by the years before we were born, so why be troubled by the ones that will pass after our death? Of course, I don't completely follow that, as I certainly don't want to die. However, it's somewhat poetic and well in the line of comforting eulogy.
Limed because I know I quit worrying a lot about death once (I think) my mother suggested this idea to me.
Now, in my personal case, those words would just fall of deaf ears, so I doubt it would happen, but if I felt it would make a diffrence and actually had funeral plans draw up, they would include something along those lines.
Wasn't Yar the one who said that he wanted his skull put on a spring and place in a chest so when future archaeologists opened it would scare the shit out of them?
I'm going to ask for a viking funeral in my will.
That would be pretty cool - but if you can get Epicurus to read something at your funeral, why do you really need a funeral in the first place?
Alternatively, I will put a bunch of completely ludicrous stipulations in my will along the lines of "everyone must attend in drag" or maybe "you've got to wear your shoes on the wrong feet". After the funeral, my solicitor will play a video of me shouting "Haha, you fuckers! Try and get me back for that."
That is a fucking awesome idea.
"It is every citizen's final duty to go into the tanks."
My mom wants the song "Think of Me" from phantom of the opera played at her funeral (the original version), and I believe she wants her ashes scattered along the beach where she grew up back in Australia. She misses her home so much. Just thinking about that makes my eyes water a bit.
but in reference to the recycling, I must recommend the book Stiff by Mary Roach. It's quite funny and it explores what happens to a dead body both in present times and in the past. For example - bodies that are donated to science are: sent to decay on a farm in Virgina to teach detectives about forensics, used as 'real' crash dummies (helping to develop safer and more effective seat belts and such), and used as practice for plastic surgeons and other doctors.
Also, when a body is embalmed it is preserved for a couple of weeks, then it begins to decay anyway.
I'm interested in what I think is a swedish method. The body is deep frozen with liquid nitrogen, then blasted into tiny pieces by sound waves. It can either be scattered a la ashes but without the pollutants from cremation, which include mercury from fillings. Another option is to use the remains to fertilize some kind of 'memorial plant.' I find this a profound way to exit the world - to become permanantly part of nature once again, to return to the basic materials that created us.
If so, Yar just became about 10X awesomer.
Meh, I'm getting a statue of Darth Vader doing the force choke thing pointed in the general direction of the closest Jesus statue.
I'm not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
From the title of the thread I'm still expecting him to burst in and shout "aha! further proof atheism is just another religion!"
Maybe it's a Scottish thing, but this pretty accurately describes every funeral I've ever experienced.