Fuck. Fucking fuck.
I go to put on my shoe. I untie the laces. Then, a twitch of movement: fucking cockroach peeping out, its antennae all a-waving. I let out this gasp of terror/disgust, and flick the shoe off my foot, which lands upside-down a couple metres away. I sit still for a second to breath out, then walk over to the shoe. I gently turn it over with my toe, and there's the roach. It's trapped in my laces, squirming around trying to get out.
I go and grab the insect spray, and give the fucker a liberal dose. Much to my satisfaction it starts writhing in terror/pain (hopefully a lot of both). It's trying to flee, but it's got itself stuck in there and can only flail about helplessly. But then it gets its footing, and starts to scramble.
Spoilered for the squeamish types:
The thing pulls. It pushes. Then, the motherfucker tears itself in half trying to escape. Such a sight was not meant for mortal eyes. Its abdomen is left behind with one of its legs, while the rest of it finally breaks this grey string of gooey innards which is all that's left holding it together.
With its remaining five legs it scuttles off the shoe, then rolls over and twitches to death.
I'm standing there in horror.
God damn.
I think I'll buy a new pair of shoes.
Tell us your traumatic ordeals with things that have more than four legs.
Posts
they are the worst things ever
One time this centipede was in the house
I sprayed it with window cleaner then hit it with a broken umbrella
then i had my mom carry it outside because ewwwwww
Bug thread.
Awesome.
I still wonder what the family that had walked by me during this all were thinking though.
Once there was one hanging from my ceiling, above my front door. Just waiting to drop on my head should I try to leave. I was afraid to spray it for fear of it letting go of the ceiling and falling to the floor in some unpredictable arc which might intersect my person.
for every one roach you see, there's a thousand more
who says that
they have to die
I got stung by two hornets when I was 8. Bear in mind please that nothing serious has ever happened to me other than this and getting my wrist fractured (earlier that year, god that year sucked.)
I was running in a field practically located on the border between Washington and Idaho while visiting some family friends. I was running to grab some juice or something, not important. I ran cause I was a kid and it was what I did. While doing my kid thing, I zoomed past this blade of grass that had what looked like a pair of flies sitting on it, but I was clearly very wrong.
I don't remember how much it hurt, I more than twice that age now but for years you could still see tiny pin pricks in my skin where they got me, right above that "armpit" on the other side of your elbow and somewhere on my thigh.
While I'm screaming my lungs out and holding onto my arm and my thigh and jumping about like a freak or somethin, my mom's screamin at everyone to calm down, I've never been stung by even a bee before that and she was trying to see if I was swellin up. I was fine, just in a lot of pain so they made up this miracle concoction of baking soda and water and spread the past on the sting sites. I spend the rest of the day there annoyed watching that movie where dogs eat spaghetti.
I have a phobia of things that go buzz buzz now.
man-o-wars, bees
Fuck those guys
I started to realise when I saw little tiny common ones scuttling about at random. They'd just apear and then disappear from table to table.
There was a water feature with goldfish in it centered in the middle back of the 1st floor. I was delivering food to some ladies at their table when I saw 2 cockroaches scuttling along the edge of the pond. I distracted the ladies with idle chatter and luckily both of them slipped down the side of the pond and the goldfish ate them. God it was right on time, because the ladies turned when they heard the splosh of the goldfish on the surface.
Things got worse, later in the week a group came in and ordered a banquet. One lady pointed out that there was "Something moving in the salad" sure enough there were two large fuckers prancing about the greens. I stood there shocked, the whole table just looked in awe. Thank fuck I did not put the plates down or have to deal with them.
Now to the worst part. The boss finally realised that there was a roach problem, but not to it's full extent. He saw them scurrying about here and there.
I came in and looked about, being a chef I know where to look. I banged hard on dishwasher and the bench around it (Cockroaches like warm dark areas) and sure enough a nest fell in the diameter of a tennis ball and scattered everywhere. I continued to bang my hand along the edge and even more dropped. This was fucking Starship Troopers shit.
Eventually the boss gave in and I told him I could fix the problem, I went down the road, got some decent sprays and baits and proceded to get every nook and cranny of the entire kitchen. Half an hour later the floor was covered in the corpses of cockroaches, I could say easily 50-80 per square meter lay dead. Walking through them actually made a thick crunching sound.
The boss came to realise shit was going down and had the place fumigated, I ( when I was 20) had to teach a 34 year old restaraunt owner how to look after his own god damn kitchen.
I'm surprised its still open to be honest. Anyone who lives near Fremantle Western Australia, I'm willing to tell you which restaraunt and where if you PM me.
Tumblr
Oh my GOD. Best/worst story ever
There is no way I was going to pick up a shoe which had a cockroach in it. Same rule for spiders. If that thing starts running about, odds are it'll wind up on my hand which I do not want. The spray works. The spray is golden. You spray, they die, they stop moving, then you can dispose of it.
Probably a bumblebee or a wasp... Honey bees will only sting in defense of the hive.
The spray is for goddamn pussies.
Hell, you could've just kicked it outside and dealt with it there.
now that you've posted that story I'm going to spray this place down tomorrow
I mean, I was planning on doing it anyway, and I've already bought the various supplies, but that is disgusting
Dammit evolution, did you really need insects?
in 2050 I am suggesting a bill
Transmogrifying all bugs into cute puppies
I wouldn't mind so much if I found six or seven puppies in my apartment
I'm for it
I Raided that shit HARD.
i thought it was a fly and crushed it with the side of my head
and the stinger just ripped into me
I hear putting up fake wasp nests will actually deter a colony from trying to establish itself.
the side of your head
i just imagine you doing the night at the roxbury thing and then bam
something like that
only i was angry at it so i crushed it, then grinded it in for a while
after 3 seconds of smashing it deeper i was like "ow what the hell?"
turns out it wasn't a fly at all
Tumblr
worst as in most disgusting
I hate bugs.
Tumblr
i opened it but the picture hadn't loaded yet, so i closed it again
then i opened it because hug didn't really make sense and goddamn
Jesus I just about had a heart attack
My own damn fault for clicking the spoiler, but still