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Strange & Embarassing Moments: The Finer Points of Cunnilingus on a Chalkboard

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    yalborapyalborap Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Aydr wrote: »
    Thanatos wrote: »
    Asiina wrote: »
    I convinced some guy that in Canada polar bears are a common occurrence and that there are polar bear ranches.

    Sometimes you'll see a polar bear wrangler walking down the street with one, but you shouldn't go near them. They're still wild, after all.
    I actually saw a guy walking a bobcat on a chain leash in Olympia once. Everytime I tell this story, people dont believe me and they're like, "really Brian? A bobcat? are you sure it wasn't just a normal cat?" Yes I'm sure because generally cats are not larger than dogs and dont come up to their owners waste while they walk them on a freaking chainlink leash.
    Unless you're talking about a small dog and a five-year-old owner, that wasn't a bobcat.

    I think he must be looking for "cougar".

    ...A guy had an attractive older woman on a leash?

    Kinky.

    yalborap on
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    MrMisterMrMister Jesus dying on the cross in pain? Morally better than us. One has to go "all in".Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Or mountain lion or some shit.

    Bobcats are definitely not waist-height though. Whatever that guy had leashed was even more intense than a bobcat.

    MrMister on
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    ThanatosThanatos Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    MrMister wrote: »
    Or mountain lion or some shit.

    Bobcats are definitely not waist-height though. Whatever that guy had leashed was even more intense than a bobcat.
    Mountain lions are cougars, city-boy.

    Thanatos on
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    MrMisterMrMister Jesus dying on the cross in pain? Morally better than us. One has to go "all in".Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Well, shit.

    MrMister on
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    FalxFalx Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    I got to pet a near fully grown male lion like a big dog once... that was fairly intense. Was a white lion... name was Whitey oddly enough. I didn't rub and nuzzle his huge-ass face with my own face like his crazy-ass owner was doing though.

    Later on a tiger explosively urinated from like 8 feet away and sprayed my aunt in her face. That was awesome.

    Falx on
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    Element BrianElement Brian Peanut Butter Shill Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Maybe a Linx, it looked a little too..scruffy to be a cougar, I dont know what it was then, but it wasnt my freaking Ki Ki back home.

    Element Brian on
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    DeciusDecius I'm old! I'm fat! I'M BLUE!Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    You sir, are a tribute to everything Australia is about. Which is of course, lies and falsehoods about our countries economy, hobbies, wildlife, major industries and modes of transport.

    Just another thing Canadians and Australians share in common. It's not unlike how the water in our toilets spins in the opposite direction of that of American toilets when flushed. It's a throwback to the old days of the British Empire, and the Commonwealth Flushing System. We have a strong sense of tradition (and are too lazy/apathetic to change it) so we just leave our toilets spinning clockwise.

    They actually have to import American toilets into the American embassy or consulate or whatever the hell it's called out in Ottawa (Asiina can verify this), so that the American ambassador can have a toilet that spins what they consider "normal" direction. Which brings me to another tale about crossing the Canadian border, but I'll save that for another time.
    so did I do good?

    Decius on
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    clsCorwinclsCorwin Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Wasn't that from The Simpsons? A Lisa lesson in sarcasm to Bart?

    clsCorwin on
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    ThanatosThanatos Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Maybe a Linx, it looked a little too..scruffy to be a cougar, I dont know what it was then, but it wasnt my freaking Ki Ki back home.
    ...

    A lynx is a bobcat.

    Thanatos on
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    AydrAydr Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Thanatos wrote: »
    Maybe a Linx, it looked a little too..scruffy to be a cougar, I dont know what it was then, but it wasnt my freaking Ki Ki back home.
    ...

    A lynx is a bobcat.

    To be fair, there are other kinds of lynx.

    Aydr on
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    ThanatosThanatos Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Aydr wrote: »
    Thanatos wrote: »
    Maybe a Linx, it looked a little too..scruffy to be a cougar, I dont know what it was then, but it wasnt my freaking Ki Ki back home.
    ...

    A lynx is a bobcat.
    To be fair, there are other kinds of lynx.
    He's in Washington. A lynx is a bobcat. Or do the Canadian varieties make it this far down?

    Thanatos on
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    ElendilElendil Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Maybe it was a panther, Than.

    Maybe it was a panther.

    Elendil on
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    AydrAydr Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Thanatos wrote: »
    Aydr wrote: »
    Thanatos wrote: »
    Maybe a Linx, it looked a little too..scruffy to be a cougar, I dont know what it was then, but it wasnt my freaking Ki Ki back home.
    ...

    A lynx is a bobcat.
    To be fair, there are other kinds of lynx.
    He's in Washington. A lynx is a bobcat. Or do the Canadian varieties make it this far down?

    I'm not actually sure, though I don't think they do. But if it was being walked on a leash, that means it could easily be non-native.
    Elendil wrote: »
    Maybe it was a panther, Than.

    Maybe it was a panther.

    A panther is a cougar is a mountain lion!

    Maybe it was a puma?

    Aydr on
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    ThanatosThanatos Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Aydr wrote: »
    Elendil wrote: »
    Maybe it was a panther, Than.

    Maybe it was a panther.
    A panther is a cougar is a mountain lion!

    Maybe it was a puma?
    I hate you all so much.

    Thanatos on
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    yalborapyalborap Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Decius wrote: »
    You sir, are a tribute to everything Australia is about. Which is of course, lies and falsehoods about our countries economy, hobbies, wildlife, major industries and modes of transport.

    Just another thing Canadians and Australians share in common. It's not unlike how the water in our toilets spins in the opposite direction of that of American toilets when flushed. It's a throwback to the old days of the British Empire, and the Commonwealth Flushing System. We have a strong sense of tradition (and are too lazy/apathetic to change it) so we just leave our toilets spinning clockwise.

    They actually have to import American toilets into the American embassy or consulate or whatever the hell it's called out in Ottawa (Asiina can verify this), so that the American ambassador can have a toilet that spins what they consider "normal" direction. Which brings me to another tale about crossing the Canadian border, but I'll save that for another time.
    so did I do good?

    I tell these stories almost habitually.

    Like the one about Canadians having a government-mandated exercise regime where they fight a moose every morning, and a government-mandated health regime where they eat the same moose, raw and marinaded in its own blood, for dinner.

    yalborap on
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    AydrAydr Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    yalborap wrote: »
    Decius wrote: »
    You sir, are a tribute to everything Australia is about. Which is of course, lies and falsehoods about our countries economy, hobbies, wildlife, major industries and modes of transport.

    Just another thing Canadians and Australians share in common. It's not unlike how the water in our toilets spins in the opposite direction of that of American toilets when flushed. It's a throwback to the old days of the British Empire, and the Commonwealth Flushing System. We have a strong sense of tradition (and are too lazy/apathetic to change it) so we just leave our toilets spinning clockwise.

    They actually have to import American toilets into the American embassy or consulate or whatever the hell it's called out in Ottawa (Asiina can verify this), so that the American ambassador can have a toilet that spins what they consider "normal" direction. Which brings me to another tale about crossing the Canadian border, but I'll save that for another time.
    so did I do good?

    I tell these stories almost habitually.

    Like the one about Canadians having a government-mandated exercise regime where they fight a moose every morning, and a government-mandated health regime where they eat the same moose, raw and marinaded in its own blood, for dinner.

    That's not true? huh. Guess it's only an Alaska thing.

    Aydr on
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    ArgusArgus Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Decius wrote: »
    You sir, are a tribute to everything Australia is about. Which is of course, lies and falsehoods about our countries economy, hobbies, wildlife, major industries and modes of transport.

    Just another thing Canadians and Australians share in common. It's not unlike how the water in our toilets spins in the opposite direction of that of American toilets when flushed. It's a throwback to the old days of the British Empire, and the Commonwealth Flushing System. We have a strong sense of tradition (and are too lazy/apathetic to change it) so we just leave our toilets spinning clockwise.

    They actually have to import American toilets into the American embassy or consulate or whatever the hell it's called out in Ottawa (Asiina can verify this), so that the American ambassador can have a toilet that spins what they consider "normal" direction. Which brings me to another tale about crossing the Canadian border, but I'll save that for another time.
    so did I do good?

    So, what's up with the toilet flow? Do they actually spin in the opposite direction, and why?

    Argus on
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    Nakatomi2010Nakatomi2010 Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    American toilets are the only ones that flush in the direction Americans are familiar with, there's no real reason for it, it's just how they're manufactured, and they don't export toilets, it confiuses some folks when they cross the border into Canada since the toilets do indeed flush in the copmlete opposite direction as the American toilets, but it is in fact the American toilets which don't flush like everyone elses... It's kinda like how everyone uses the Metric system for measurements and speeds, but the Americans use the Imperial system, its just another one of those differences...

    Nakatomi2010 on
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    KoolaidguyKoolaidguy Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    During a class I started to ask a question only for my voice to suddenly go all high. Damm you negetive puberty.

    Koolaidguy on
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    MidshipmanMidshipman Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    American toilets are the only ones that flush in the direction Americans are familiar with, there's no real reason for it, it's just how they're manufactured, and they don't export toilets, it confiuses some folks when they cross the border into Canada since the toilets do indeed flush in the copmlete opposite direction as the American toilets, but it is in fact the American toilets which don't flush like everyone elses... It's kinda like how everyone uses the Metric system for measurements and speeds, but the Americans use the Imperial system, its just another one of those differences...

    Lots of modern toilets don't actually drain in either clockwise or counter fashion. They either just have a relatively straight-shot purge, or they have a double vortex caused by a venturi (eductor-jet) pump.

    Anyways, I'm highly skeptical that anyone cares enough about which way that their toilet flushes that they'd order special toilets.

    Midshipman on
    midshipman.jpg
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    AydrAydr Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Midshipman wrote: »
    American toilets are the only ones that flush in the direction Americans are familiar with, there's no real reason for it, it's just how they're manufactured, and they don't export toilets, it confiuses some folks when they cross the border into Canada since the toilets do indeed flush in the copmlete opposite direction as the American toilets, but it is in fact the American toilets which don't flush like everyone elses... It's kinda like how everyone uses the Metric system for measurements and speeds, but the Americans use the Imperial system, its just another one of those differences...

    Lots of modern toilets don't actually drain in either clockwise or counter fashion. They either just have a relatively straight-shot purge, or they have a double vortex caused by a venturi (eductor-jet) pump.

    This is a man who knows his way around a toilet.

    Aydr on
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    UltimaGeckoUltimaGecko Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Unlike that one episode of the Simpsons, the Coriolis effect plays a very minor (i.e. nonexistent) role in the way which toilet water spins. Like Nakatomi notes, the way the toilet is manufactured has a far greater impact on spin direction (if there is any).

    Although, really, who is observing their toilet water that closely? I didn't notice any difference when I went to Germany... But that might have been because some of the toilet's are designed all crazy like where your crap sits on a pedestal in the middle of the toilet instead of going right into a 'bowl' of water and I was focused a bit more on the fact that smells travel much easier through air than through water. I'm guessing there's water saving going on, but the trade-off is a fun set of smells until you flush.


    ITT: More about international toilets than you ever cared to know.

    UltimaGecko on
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    TeeManTeeMan BrainSpoon Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Decius wrote: »
    You sir, are a tribute to everything Australia is about. Which is of course, lies and falsehoods about our countries economy, hobbies, wildlife, major industries and modes of transport.

    Just another thing Canadians and Australians share in common. It's not unlike how the water in our toilets spins in the opposite direction of that of American toilets when flushed. It's a throwback to the old days of the British Empire, and the Commonwealth Flushing System. We have a strong sense of tradition (and are too lazy/apathetic to change it) so we just leave our toilets spinning clockwise.

    They actually have to import American toilets into the American embassy or consulate or whatever the hell it's called out in Ottawa (Asiina can verify this), so that the American ambassador can have a toilet that spins what they consider "normal" direction. Which brings me to another tale about crossing the Canadian border, but I'll save that for another time.
    so did I do good?

    I think its an unwritten rule here that if you hint at a story that could be potentially strange and/or embarrassing, you're morally obliged to divulge it ;-)
    Although, really, who is observing their toilet water that closely? I didn't notice any difference when I went to Germany... But that might have been because some of the toilet's are designed all crazy like where your crap sits on a pedestal in the middle of the toilet instead of going right into a 'bowl' of water

    God, yes. Why is that? What reason is there to not have the poo go directly into the bowl, but instead on an "Inspection ledge"?

    Some European countries need to clean up their diet if they need to check it every time.

    TeeMan on
    steam_sig.png
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    yalborapyalborap Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    TeeMan wrote: »
    Decius wrote: »
    You sir, are a tribute to everything Australia is about. Which is of course, lies and falsehoods about our countries economy, hobbies, wildlife, major industries and modes of transport.

    Just another thing Canadians and Australians share in common. It's not unlike how the water in our toilets spins in the opposite direction of that of American toilets when flushed. It's a throwback to the old days of the British Empire, and the Commonwealth Flushing System. We have a strong sense of tradition (and are too lazy/apathetic to change it) so we just leave our toilets spinning clockwise.

    They actually have to import American toilets into the American embassy or consulate or whatever the hell it's called out in Ottawa (Asiina can verify this), so that the American ambassador can have a toilet that spins what they consider "normal" direction. Which brings me to another tale about crossing the Canadian border, but I'll save that for another time.
    so did I do good?

    I think its an unwritten rule here that if you hint at a story that could be potentially strange and/or embarrassing, you're morally obliged to divulge it ;-)
    Although, really, who is observing their toilet water that closely? I didn't notice any difference when I went to Germany... But that might have been because some of the toilet's are designed all crazy like where your crap sits on a pedestal in the middle of the toilet instead of going right into a 'bowl' of water

    God, yes. Why is that? What reason is there to not have the poo go directly into the bowl, but instead on an "Inspection ledge"?

    Some European countries need to clean up their diet if they need to check it every time.

    It made sense in the old days, when health inspection wasn't as tight and there were more points of potential infection in just about every part of the system.

    These days, not so much.

    yalborap on
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    MightyMighty Omeganaut '15 '16 '17 NebraskaRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    canadian-lynx.jpg

    bobcat.jpg
    Those don't look the same to me.
    Perhaps it was.... an ocelot?
    5000821.JPG
    RevolverOcelot.png

    Mighty on
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    ArgusArgus Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Only difference to me is slightly different color coats and the fact that the winter pic one has a much thicker coat, :?:.

    Argus on
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    MightyMighty Omeganaut '15 '16 '17 NebraskaRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Argus wrote: »
    Only difference to me is slightly different color coats and the fact that the winter pic one has a much thicker coat, :?:.

    this says they are different
    http://www.saskschools.ca/~gregory/animals/bobc_lynx.html

    Mighty on
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    Element BrianElement Brian Peanut Butter Shill Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Thanatos wrote: »
    Aydr wrote: »
    Elendil wrote: »
    Maybe it was a panther, Than.

    Maybe it was a panther.
    A panther is a cougar is a mountain lion!

    Maybe it was a puma?
    I hate you all so much.

    Whatever it was, this was it.

    Maybe it was like a mix between a cougar and a bobcat, like a Liger.

    Element Brian on
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    RentRent I'm always right Fuckin' deal with itRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Oh ooh I got one this just happened today
    So me and this friend of mine went to see the new Underworld movie right. He had just broken up with his fiancee of a year and a half the night before and hadn't divulged any of the details of why. It was really sudden-one day they're fine, the next-poof, they're broken up. (Minor note: Me and my friend, we're both in the Army, thus he's in Oklahoma whilst his (now ex) fiancee's in Ohio getting a degree)
    So as we're leaving the movie his ex-fiancee's mom calls him on the phone. He proceeds to have an extremely loud and angry conversation on the ride home with this person.
    From what I can gather his fiancee had been cheating on him the whole time she was up in Ohio. As a matter of fact, she got her lover's name tattooed on her thigh.
    Her lover's name was Jessie.
    Short for Jessica
    Yeah
    Or, as my friend so eloquently put it, "THAT FAT COW DIKE"

    Rent on
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    mtsmts Dr. Robot King Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    that bobcat prefers another name

    funny-pictures-bobcat-prefers-to-be-called-robert.jpg

    mts on
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    AydrAydr Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Mighty wrote: »
    Argus wrote: »
    Only difference to me is slightly different color coats and the fact that the winter pic one has a much thicker coat, :?:.

    this says they are different
    http://www.saskschools.ca/~gregory/animals/bobc_lynx.html

    A "Canada lynx" is just one kind of lynx. A bobcat is another kind. There's two more in Eurasia, I believe.

    Aydr on
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    Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Thanatos wrote: »
    Aydr wrote: »
    Elendil wrote: »
    Maybe it was a panther, Than.

    Maybe it was a panther.
    A panther is a cougar is a mountain lion!

    Maybe it was a puma?
    I hate you all so much.

    Whatever it was, this was it.

    Maybe it was like a mix between a cougar and a bobcat, like a Liger.

    A bouger?

    Rhesus Positive on
    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
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    MrIamMeMrIamMe Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Rent wrote: »
    Oh ooh I got one this just happened today
    So me and this friend of mine went to see the new Underworld movie right. He had just broken up with his fiancee of a year and a half the night before and hadn't divulged any of the details of why. It was really sudden-one day they're fine, the next-poof, they're broken up. (Minor note: Me and my friend, we're both in the Army, thus he's in Oklahoma whilst his (now ex) fiancee's in Ohio getting a degree)
    So as we're leaving the movie his ex-fiancee's mom calls him on the phone. He proceeds to have an extremely loud and angry conversation on the ride home with this person.
    From what I can gather his fiancee had been cheating on him the whole time she was up in Ohio. As a matter of fact, she got her lover's name tattooed on her thigh.
    Her lover's name was Jessie.
    Short for Jessica
    Yeah
    Or, as my friend so eloquently put it, "THAT FAT COW DIKE"

    Why would the ex-fiance's mother call him? Seriously, I'd just hang up and not say a word.

    MrIamMe on
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    Nakatomi2010Nakatomi2010 Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    I'dve let her know that the other chick could join us...:winky:

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    RentRent I'm always right Fuckin' deal with itRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    MrIamMe wrote: »
    Rent wrote: »
    Oh ooh I got one this just happened today
    So me and this friend of mine went to see the new Underworld movie right. He had just broken up with his fiancee of a year and a half the night before and hadn't divulged any of the details of why. It was really sudden-one day they're fine, the next-poof, they're broken up. (Minor note: Me and my friend, we're both in the Army, thus he's in Oklahoma whilst his (now ex) fiancee's in Ohio getting a degree)
    So as we're leaving the movie his ex-fiancee's mom calls him on the phone. He proceeds to have an extremely loud and angry conversation on the ride home with this person.
    From what I can gather his fiancee had been cheating on him the whole time she was up in Ohio. As a matter of fact, she got her lover's name tattooed on her thigh.
    Her lover's name was Jessie.
    Short for Jessica
    Yeah
    Or, as my friend so eloquently put it, "THAT FAT COW DIKE"

    Why would the ex-fiance's mother call him? Seriously, I'd just hang up and not say a word.
    From what I could tell his fiancee's mom disapproved of the decision.
    Now that I think about it the conversation was really strange as well
    It was him yelling about how much he hated her interspersed with talking as if nothing happened
    Sorta like this: "THAT FAT COW DIKE GODDAMN I HATE HER...so yeah, I'm going on leave in a week or two. Oh hey, is your job hiring? Because I got this friend of mine and she wants a new job..."
    Yeah, that last line actually happened for reals. He tried to get another female friend of his (who I think he was trying to bang) a job at his ex-fiancee's mom's work.
    Fucking weird as fuck

    Rent on
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    ArgusArgus Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Rent wrote: »
    MrIamMe wrote: »
    Rent wrote: »
    Oh ooh I got one this just happened today
    So me and this friend of mine went to see the new Underworld movie right. He had just broken up with his fiancee of a year and a half the night before and hadn't divulged any of the details of why. It was really sudden-one day they're fine, the next-poof, they're broken up. (Minor note: Me and my friend, we're both in the Army, thus he's in Oklahoma whilst his (now ex) fiancee's in Ohio getting a degree)
    So as we're leaving the movie his ex-fiancee's mom calls him on the phone. He proceeds to have an extremely loud and angry conversation on the ride home with this person.
    From what I can gather his fiancee had been cheating on him the whole time she was up in Ohio. As a matter of fact, she got her lover's name tattooed on her thigh.
    Her lover's name was Jessie.
    Short for Jessica
    Yeah
    Or, as my friend so eloquently put it, "THAT FAT COW DIKE"

    Why would the ex-fiance's mother call him? Seriously, I'd just hang up and not say a word.
    From what I could tell his fiancee's mom disapproved of the decision.
    Now that I think about it the conversation was really strange as well
    It was him yelling about how much he hated her interspersed with talking as if nothing happened
    Sorta like this: "THAT FAT COW DIKE GODDAMN I HATE HER...so yeah, I'm going on leave in a week or two. Oh hey, is your job hiring? Because I got this friend of mine and she wants a new job..."
    Yeah, that last line actually happened for reals. He tried to get another female friend of his (who I think he was trying to bang) a job at his ex-fiancee's mom's work.
    Fucking weird as fuck

    He's just trying to keep it cool

    Argus on
    pasigsizedu5.jpg
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    Bruce ForsythBruce Forsyth Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    I'dve let her know that the other chick could join us...:winky:

    You'd want a threesome with a fat cow dyke?

    Bruce Forsyth on
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    MalkorMalkor Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Exin wrote: »
    I'dve let her know that the other chick could join us...:winky:

    You'd want a threesome with a fat cow dyke?

    That's probably better than no threesome.

    Malkor on
    14271f3c-c765-4e74-92b1-49d7612675f2.jpg
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    Nakatomi2010Nakatomi2010 Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Malkor wrote: »
    Exin wrote: »
    I'dve let her know that the other chick could join us...:winky:

    You'd want a threesome with a fat cow dyke?

    That's probably better than no threesome.

    I'd think of it as more of a shoe in threesome than anything, I mean apparently that door opens both ways, so if you let her know that you don't object to her sleeping with other women so long as you can join her, I don't see how that wouldn't be win...

    But that's neither here nor there...

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    AydrAydr Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Malkor wrote: »
    Exin wrote: »
    I'dve let her know that the other chick could join us...:winky:

    You'd want a threesome with a fat cow dyke?

    That's probably better than no threesome.

    I'd think of it as more of a shoe in threesome than anything, I mean apparently that door opens both ways, so if you let her know that you don't object to her sleeping with other women so long as you can join her, I don't see how that wouldn't be win...

    But that's neither here nor there...

    Maybe the part where she's cheating on him, and may well have actually been the one to leave him? Particularly based on the tattoo.

    Aydr on
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