The friendzone is a myth perpetrated on emotionally vulnerable adolescent males that once you hit a particular duration of relationship with a female without trying to engage with her sexually that she stops viewing you as having a penis at all.
The friend zone is not that, it's the idea that given a period of time your friendship has strengthed to the point that you couldn't forsee yourself dating them in any way (it'd be too weird, it'd risk the friendship, etc etc)
And I've placed females firmly into friend zone territory, it's not a male-exclusive zone, however it's bitched about mostly by males
And mostly males who aren't in the position to bitch about a real friend zone
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RentI'm always rightFuckin' deal with itRegistered Userregular
And mostly males who aren't in the position to bitch about a real friend zone
I'm a bit confused by your statement
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FalloutGIRL'S DAYWAS PRETTY GOOD WHILE THEY LASTEDRegistered Userregular
edited October 2009
I think he is implying, in his mush-mouthed cadence, that males use the friend zone as an excuse for why they are not getting laid
I'm not sure how one could think that people aren't ever hesitant to move friendships into sexual relationships but uh hey I go outside so what do I know.
I think he is implying, in his mush-mouthed cadence, that males use the friend zone as an excuse for why they are not getting laid
I'm not sure how one could think that people aren't ever hesitant to move friendships into sexual relationships but uh hey I go outside so what do I know.
I'm pretty skeptical of that explanation. It's more for when one person wants something and is pretty sure the other person doesn't but is lying to themselves that the other person might too.
The "friend zone" means that she knows you well enough that she knows she doesn't want to sleep with you. It means it wasn't going to work out anyway. If she didn't know you, yeah, she might not have realized that in time, but it still wouldn't have worked out anyway.
most of the time it's men coming on to women, and that is at a place that women go to to get laid
Only if you aren't actually paying attention, or don't realize what you are seeing.
You see, women have learned that the quickest way into a man's pants is to let him think he's making all of the moves. If they make an overt move, they risk being seen as overly agressive, which turns many men off.
However, that glance across the room? That smile and twirling of the hair? All of those cues that give the guy the idea that they'll get somewhere with this particular woman? Guess what... those are all the ways a woman comes on to a man.
Hell, the woman is making her moves before she even leaves the house. How much leg do I show? Cleavage? Do I wear shoes with heels that accentuate my calves / butt or shoes that actually aren't going to hurt my feet & back?
If you can't recognize those as a woman "on the prowl" then I don't know that there's anything I can say.
The "friend zone" means that she knows you well enough that she knows she doesn't want to sleep with you. It means it wasn't going to work out anyway. If she didn't know you, yeah, she might not have realized that in time, but it still wouldn't have worked out anyway.
I think the OP needs to do one of two things:
1) Work out that he is not as awesome as he thinks he is and make some changes; or
2) Realise that the chicks he wants are girls that aren't his type and don't like him and reassess the types of girls he is going after.
Also, all your friend's GFs/Wives being nice to you is not a really good indicator of how awesome you are. It's nice, but they're going to be more liberal with their praise to a friend of their husband, assuming you are not a total jackass (i'll give you the benefit of the doubt).
From what I am gathering we have hit the problem where "The Friend Zone" means different things to different people.
We appear to have the first category, people who only talk to the opposite sex for the purposes of getting laid. If the first conversation does not get the desired response and the partner in question is willing to have subsequent conversations will continue on until either the person stops talking to them, or sleeps with them. This appears to coincide with the "ladder theory". Which is crap.
Then we have people like me who have friendships with the opposite sex and think of "The Friend Zone" as a quaint description of two people of opposite sexes who enjoy each others company without the need to insert some form of romance/sex into the equation.
We also have the "she knows it wouldn't work out anyway" definition. Heck there are probably going to be 8 more definitions by tomorrow night.
To the OP. If the problem your having is that you cannot seem to find someone who wants to be with you then the first step I can recommend is take and honest look at yourself and ask yourself the question "Why would a girl want to have sex with me." If the only answer you can come up with is pity, I would recommend dredging some cougar bars. If you come up with anything else try using those positive qualities on women outside your current social circle. Heck your existing friends may be sabotaging you. That hot girl you meet at the bar and bring back to the table who mysteriously leaves as soon as you get back from the bathroom. Yeah your friends told her about that thing you did.
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FencingsaxIt is difficult to get a man to understand, when his salary depends upon his not understandingGNU Terry PratchettRegistered Userregular
edited October 2009
Are people genetically unable to talk to their friends?
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And mostly males who aren't in the position to bitch about a real friend zone
I'm a bit confused by your statement
I'm not sure how one could think that people aren't ever hesitant to move friendships into sexual relationships but uh hey I go outside so what do I know.
I'm pretty skeptical of that explanation. It's more for when one person wants something and is pretty sure the other person doesn't but is lying to themselves that the other person might too.
Get it away.
EDIT: Well, that's not fair, i'm not a mod.
I should say ladder theory has no place in healthy ideas about relationships or in society as a whole.
Guys who are maybe only tentatively aquaintances with a girl who they creepycrush on
Only if you aren't actually paying attention, or don't realize what you are seeing.
You see, women have learned that the quickest way into a man's pants is to let him think he's making all of the moves. If they make an overt move, they risk being seen as overly agressive, which turns many men off.
However, that glance across the room? That smile and twirling of the hair? All of those cues that give the guy the idea that they'll get somewhere with this particular woman? Guess what... those are all the ways a woman comes on to a man.
Hell, the woman is making her moves before she even leaves the house. How much leg do I show? Cleavage? Do I wear shoes with heels that accentuate my calves / butt or shoes that actually aren't going to hurt my feet & back?
If you can't recognize those as a woman "on the prowl" then I don't know that there's anything I can say.
I think the OP needs to do one of two things:
1) Work out that he is not as awesome as he thinks he is and make some changes; or
2) Realise that the chicks he wants are girls that aren't his type and don't like him and reassess the types of girls he is going after.
Also, all your friend's GFs/Wives being nice to you is not a really good indicator of how awesome you are. It's nice, but they're going to be more liberal with their praise to a friend of their husband, assuming you are not a total jackass (i'll give you the benefit of the doubt).
We appear to have the first category, people who only talk to the opposite sex for the purposes of getting laid. If the first conversation does not get the desired response and the partner in question is willing to have subsequent conversations will continue on until either the person stops talking to them, or sleeps with them. This appears to coincide with the "ladder theory". Which is crap.
Then we have people like me who have friendships with the opposite sex and think of "The Friend Zone" as a quaint description of two people of opposite sexes who enjoy each others company without the need to insert some form of romance/sex into the equation.
We also have the "she knows it wouldn't work out anyway" definition. Heck there are probably going to be 8 more definitions by tomorrow night.
To the OP. If the problem your having is that you cannot seem to find someone who wants to be with you then the first step I can recommend is take and honest look at yourself and ask yourself the question "Why would a girl want to have sex with me." If the only answer you can come up with is pity, I would recommend dredging some cougar bars. If you come up with anything else try using those positive qualities on women outside your current social circle. Heck your existing friends may be sabotaging you. That hot girl you meet at the bar and bring back to the table who mysteriously leaves as soon as you get back from the bathroom. Yeah your friends told her about that thing you did.