Shit. Usagi and I drove to SLC from Seattle and back for a weekend recently. That's about 14 hours each way. Through some really fucking boring landscape. Through the snow. Uphill, both ways. 10 hours ain't shit!
an excerpt from my travels across america into america's anus (michigan):
The journey home has been just that. A goddamned fiesta of weird and the injured, and late night carnie fuck-smell. A journey of boredom and short pangs of fear.
Matt and Lindsay dropped me off at a greasy bus stop. There were five people with various broken bones and limbs clad in casts and what have you. And there I met a crackhead named Thomas who had the neat idea of doing some crack before getting on a loaded bus. His decision was to put himself far away from the crackrocks by traveling cross country on his pop's dime to a hospital that may or may not treat him.
He wouldn't stop eyeing me the whole of a day. Naturally I did not sleep.
The night he left, we were past a bunch of transfers and went to get some hot food. We were at some bowling alley in bumfuck when after eating a burger one customer described as "Fuck you, I want my money back. This bun is stale and all you put on was a slice of old cheese", I headed out for a smoke. Captain Tank Top came out to greet me and the guy I bummed a few smokes to across the stops.
Captain Tank Top comes out. Apparently he is a regular of the bowling alley, constantly challenging teenagers to fistfights and succeeding while piss fucking drunk and mumbling. Uncle Fuck Mumble mumbled something to me about where we were from.
To which I replied "All over, man. Me, I'm coming from Northwest."
"Splah fichnin sum guhd schit?"
To which I thought he meant "Ya'll fixing fer some good shit?" I thought he was trying to sell me dope or something, so of course I wanted to see where this went.
He loudened his voice and spat out a more coherent phrase "Ya'll think you're hot shit?"
"Uhhhhh...what man?"
"yehh, i see that loog on yaface. you...you jaint nofin"
"Yeah. That's me. What do you do, man?"
"gime ah legtrishun. work ground here. me, i mag moneh. jew. jew ain nofin"
He starts stumbling closer and I start towards the bus looking back carefully while weighing out shithead options should I need to do something cruel to an angry drunk so I can get the fuck out of here in the least amount of time possible.
He extends his hand for a handshake. This went against everything my dad taught me about crazy drunks, but I had to do a thang. Shook his hand and smiled a crazed monkey smile at him, baring my teeth and bad road breath.
The jerk left, looking for other late night endeavours of the flaccid variety.
The following day was rather uneventful. My knees ached. I survived on gas station food, McDonalds, The Pogues and reading that Steinbeck novel Matt borrowed me.
Then two dudes got their dicks sucked simultaneously like an hour ago.
This black couple and this white couple were two sets of seats apart but apparently all on the same page. How someone could wrap their lips around a penis and extend it so greatly down the throat that there are audible spits and flecks of spittle hitting the ground amidst the smells of baby shit, a broken bus toilet and hearing the screams of their babies is beyond me. They need to bottle that shit and weaponize it.
The black girl's baby was sleeping when all of the sudden she woke up and started climbing feet first down the seat. She started strangling herself on accident when she slid down throat first into the elbow rest. I was listening to some Mastodon when I looked down and saw the baby doing some sort of cruel exercise routine. I yanked the elbow rest up and roused the mother from the blowjob, telling her that her kid nearly strangled herself.
couldn't switch with him cause he couldn't drive stick, I sang for him the whole way
Oh man, now I feel bad for being a bad driver unable to drive stick. That was an awesome road trip though. Beautiful scenery and good company, what more do you need?
couldn't switch with him cause he couldn't drive stick, I sang for him the whole way
Oh man, now I feel bad for being a bad driver unable to drive stick. That was an awesome road trip though. Beautiful scenery and good company, what more do you need?
Its easy! When the car sounds crank you change up a gear. When it stalls and you roll backwards you take note! And next time you're in a similar situation you gear down. Done.
It is not that easy really, but my driving lessons are going good, I will be ready for test soon.
It seems like a lot to think about! And I don't think I can handle using both my feet at once. I like to throw my car in drive and go on autopilot, leaving my right hand free to drum along to whatever I'm blasting on the radio
Raijin QuickfootI'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPAregular
edited March 2011
I was really nervous about it so we went out in the middle of nowhere where it wouldn't matter if I screwed up. I stalled it a few times then it just kind of flowed for me. After that it became second nature.
I much prefer driving an automatic 90% of the time but every now and then a stick is fun. Fuck driving a stick in the city though. Fuck that right off.
couldn't switch with him cause he couldn't drive stick, I sang for him the whole way
Oh man, now I feel bad for being a bad driver unable to drive stick. That was an awesome road trip though. Beautiful scenery and good company, what more do you need?
I didnt mind, I love driving.
That was a good drive and I cant wait to be state side again to hang out with all you folks.
Using both feet at once takes some getting used to, the right amount of pressure for holding on the balance and so on. But for me I just need a lot of practice.
That was a good idea, Raijin, you are probably a natural at driving by the sounds of it!
Liiya on
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Blake TDo you have enemies then?Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered Userregular
edited March 2011
I used to go up to Exmounth in one day (14 hours) with my family.
It's 1400kms or so and my father would do it as the only driver because my mother only drives her car within twenty kms of their home.
Raijin QuickfootI'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPAregular
edited March 2011
It really came down to me just not thinking so much about it. When I thought about it I was trying to balance the pressure with my feet and blah, blah, blah. I just kind of had to let it go.
I suck at long drives though. Once it gets dark I have the hardest time staying awake behind the wheel. The only thing that helps when I get like that is to keep drinking soda.
So, one time while driving from Florida to Indiana, I was pounding those little juice things called Hugs. It was after midnight and I was struggling.
I drank at least 10 of them in an hour because I really wanted to get through Atlanta before I stopped for the night. Halfway through I had to pee...I mean, I had to pee now. So I find an exit off of I-75 in the middle of Atlanta looking for a gas station.
There are no gas stations at this exit. Instead I stumble on what must be on of the wealthiest parts of the city. Palatial gated mansions all over the place.
I had reached my limit though so I pulled over and ended up pissing on some bushes in front of one of the biggest and nicest houses I've ever seen.
BaronSamediSame dude as yesterday.The AlamoRegistered Userregular
edited March 2011
I love long drives.
Made the trip from San Diego to Ft Worth on leave a couple of times. Now I make the trip from San Antonio to Ft Worth about once a month.
The only problem with long drives is how much the vehicle smells like an awful mix of coffee, farts and gas station snacks afterward (not so much on a 5 hour drive, but on a 20 hour one--holy fuck).
Best thing I have found to stay awake if you are traveling in pairs or a group is the name game. Works better than coffee.
BaronSamedi on
"Have you ever noticed that their stuff is shit, and your shit is stuff?"--George Carlin
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AnialosCollies are love, Collies are life!Shadowbrook ColliesRegistered Userregular
edited March 2011
Did the drive from Ft. Bragg, NC to Ft. Lewis, WA in four. Google tells me its 3,100 miles. Crazy thing is I drove back 4 days later. Then back again when we moved. I'm flying from now on.
Anialos on
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The GeekOh-Two Crew, OmeganautRegistered User, ClubPAregular
edited March 2011
I've never done a super duper long drive. Can't say as I have any desire to.
Man I love long drives. Never done a 10 hour one, my max is 6 in a day, but they're always fun. Get a good audiobook to listen to, some music to keep you active when you need a break from the book, and remember to stretch.
Posts
Seriously, my wife and I did 24 hours from Northern Virginia to Fort Hood, TX a few years ago.
also smoking a cig about every half hour
but i loooove long car rides anyway
cocaine. energy drinks
dont get your dick sucked unless you smoke afterwards
The journey home has been just that. A goddamned fiesta of weird and the injured, and late night carnie fuck-smell. A journey of boredom and short pangs of fear.
Matt and Lindsay dropped me off at a greasy bus stop. There were five people with various broken bones and limbs clad in casts and what have you. And there I met a crackhead named Thomas who had the neat idea of doing some crack before getting on a loaded bus. His decision was to put himself far away from the crackrocks by traveling cross country on his pop's dime to a hospital that may or may not treat him.
He wouldn't stop eyeing me the whole of a day. Naturally I did not sleep.
The night he left, we were past a bunch of transfers and went to get some hot food. We were at some bowling alley in bumfuck when after eating a burger one customer described as "Fuck you, I want my money back. This bun is stale and all you put on was a slice of old cheese", I headed out for a smoke. Captain Tank Top came out to greet me and the guy I bummed a few smokes to across the stops.
Captain Tank Top comes out. Apparently he is a regular of the bowling alley, constantly challenging teenagers to fistfights and succeeding while piss fucking drunk and mumbling. Uncle Fuck Mumble mumbled something to me about where we were from.
To which I replied "All over, man. Me, I'm coming from Northwest."
"Splah fichnin sum guhd schit?"
To which I thought he meant "Ya'll fixing fer some good shit?" I thought he was trying to sell me dope or something, so of course I wanted to see where this went.
He loudened his voice and spat out a more coherent phrase "Ya'll think you're hot shit?"
"Uhhhhh...what man?"
"yehh, i see that loog on yaface. you...you jaint nofin"
"Yeah. That's me. What do you do, man?"
"gime ah legtrishun. work ground here. me, i mag moneh. jew. jew ain nofin"
He starts stumbling closer and I start towards the bus looking back carefully while weighing out shithead options should I need to do something cruel to an angry drunk so I can get the fuck out of here in the least amount of time possible.
He extends his hand for a handshake. This went against everything my dad taught me about crazy drunks, but I had to do a thang. Shook his hand and smiled a crazed monkey smile at him, baring my teeth and bad road breath.
The jerk left, looking for other late night endeavours of the flaccid variety.
The following day was rather uneventful. My knees ached. I survived on gas station food, McDonalds, The Pogues and reading that Steinbeck novel Matt borrowed me.
Then two dudes got their dicks sucked simultaneously like an hour ago.
This black couple and this white couple were two sets of seats apart but apparently all on the same page. How someone could wrap their lips around a penis and extend it so greatly down the throat that there are audible spits and flecks of spittle hitting the ground amidst the smells of baby shit, a broken bus toilet and hearing the screams of their babies is beyond me. They need to bottle that shit and weaponize it.
The black girl's baby was sleeping when all of the sudden she woke up and started climbing feet first down the seat. She started strangling herself on accident when she slid down throat first into the elbow rest. I was listening to some Mastodon when I looked down and saw the baby doing some sort of cruel exercise routine. I yanked the elbow rest up and roused the mother from the blowjob, telling her that her kid nearly strangled herself.
you are so goddamn adorable
I also give hella road head (just ask NaS)
y'all step off
It's a 4 hour drive. There are two exits the whole time. It's almost entirely straight and there's vast, open fields on either side of the highway.
People crash there because crashing is more exciting than driving on that road.
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
eat shit
he had time to spare and everything
including Cairns to Brisbane 21 hours non-stop
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
i ought to hide the thing, it's like fucking lifetime television for women on this shit
This sounds like the most fun.
Though I think that if I actually did this I would have to spend long stretches of time playing my gameboy and not talking to anyone.
oke now we definately have to meet up sometime dude :-)
I'm still scraping stuff off the dashboard.
Oh man, now I feel bad for being a bad driver unable to drive stick. That was an awesome road trip though. Beautiful scenery and good company, what more do you need?
Its easy! When the car sounds crank you change up a gear. When it stalls and you roll backwards you take note! And next time you're in a similar situation you gear down. Done.
It is not that easy really, but my driving lessons are going good, I will be ready for test soon.
I wanna take a ride on yo disco stick
EDIT: oooh, good luck liiya!
Probably! But I don't have the confident for it haha
So stick is probably not for me!
I much prefer driving an automatic 90% of the time but every now and then a stick is fun. Fuck driving a stick in the city though. Fuck that right off.
I didnt mind, I love driving.
That was a good drive and I cant wait to be state side again to hang out with all you folks.
Steam
That was a good idea, Raijin, you are probably a natural at driving by the sounds of it!
It's 1400kms or so and my father would do it as the only driver because my mother only drives her car within twenty kms of their home.
Satans..... hints.....
I suck at long drives though. Once it gets dark I have the hardest time staying awake behind the wheel. The only thing that helps when I get like that is to keep drinking soda.
So, one time while driving from Florida to Indiana, I was pounding those little juice things called Hugs. It was after midnight and I was struggling.
I drank at least 10 of them in an hour because I really wanted to get through Atlanta before I stopped for the night. Halfway through I had to pee...I mean, I had to pee now. So I find an exit off of I-75 in the middle of Atlanta looking for a gas station.
There are no gas stations at this exit. Instead I stumble on what must be on of the wealthiest parts of the city. Palatial gated mansions all over the place.
I had reached my limit though so I pulled over and ended up pissing on some bushes in front of one of the biggest and nicest houses I've ever seen.
You should see me hit the apex on the way to work.
I go up the footpath.
Satans..... hints.....
Made the trip from San Diego to Ft Worth on leave a couple of times. Now I make the trip from San Antonio to Ft Worth about once a month.
The only problem with long drives is how much the vehicle smells like an awful mix of coffee, farts and gas station snacks afterward (not so much on a 5 hour drive, but on a 20 hour one--holy fuck).
Best thing I have found to stay awake if you are traveling in pairs or a group is the name game. Works better than coffee.
Most I've done is about 5 hours.
One day, two drivers, a van full of girls
PSN - MicroChrist
I'm too fuckin' poor to play
WordsWFriends - zeewoot