I just had an interesting experience on OK Cupid. I messaged a few girls and then left the website open as I talked to a friend on Facebook, and eventually I noticed that a girl had IMed me. Score!
Well I look at her profile and the first thing I notice is that she has a lazy eye, which is apparent in all of her pictures. I feel like a dick, but I kind of don't want to respond based on that, but then my friend convinces me not to be such an asshole so I attempt a conversation. I ask her what she wants to talk about and she just parrots my question back. Oookaayyy...
So I try to talk about things on her profile and all the answers are basically "Uh huh" and "yeah." As this is happening I notice more things, like that she's somewhat serious about her religion (I don't mind if a girl has faith, but if she's serious about it we might not be a good match) and that we're 53% match and 38% enemy. I'm trying to figure out why she's messaging me.
My friend says I should ask about super powers; she's a particularly cool girl, this friend, but still a girl so I figure it can't be the worst lead in the world and decide to ask it.By the time I get back to this girl IMing me, though, she's said that she's tired of being sick. I ask what's wrong and she says it's complications from medication she has to take for her illness. I commiserate with her for a bit, resulting in more "uh huh", and then I ask her what super power she'd want, and her answer is that she'd want to always be healthy. How the fuck do I respond to that? "Oh! Mine is telekineses"?
On the body weight issue, I'm definitely overweight even though I'm lower than the average American male while being taller. I weep for this country, and can't even imagine what the south must look like given that I'm one of the fattest people I see in my area.
Colorado's obesity rate is higher now than Mississippi's 20 years ago.
Colorado is hovering around 17% last I checked...Are you sure?
I just had an interesting experience on OK Cupid. I messaged a few girls and then left the website open as I talked to a friend on Facebook, and eventually I noticed that a girl had IMed me. Score!
Well I look at her profile and the first thing I notice is that she has a lazy eye, which is apparent in all of her pictures. I feel like a dick, but I kind of don't want to respond based on that, but then my friend convinces me not to be such an asshole so I attempt a conversation. I ask her what she wants to talk about and she just parrots my question back. Oookaayyy...
So I try to talk about things on her profile and all the answers are basically "Uh huh" and "yeah." As this is happening I notice more things, like that she's somewhat serious about her religion (I don't mind if a girl has faith, but if she's serious about it we might not be a good match) and that we're 53% match and 38% enemy. I'm trying to figure out why she's messaging me.
My friend says I should ask about super powers; she's a particularly cool girl, this friend, but still a girl so I figure it can't be the worst lead in the world and decide to ask it.By the time I get back to this girl IMing me, though, she's said that she's tired of being sick. I ask what's wrong and she says it's complications from medication she has to take for her illness. I commiserate with her for a bit, resulting in more "uh huh", and then I ask her what super power she'd want, and her answer is that she'd want to always be healthy. How the fuck do I respond to that? "Oh! Mine is telekineses"?
Not the brightest crayon in the box... I'd keep it movin'.
So the girl I met in person by accident and prematurely isn't a ruined case yet. I messaged her,
Well that was just a little tiny bit awkward. O_O
But it was nice to meet you in person, however unexpected or ungraceful it may have been. ^_^
And she responded
I thought u looked familiar lol
So that was a favorable end to what could have been an awkward catastrophe. But how should I proceed?
The ice has basically already been broken; you've both seen each other in person. I think you're a "Go" for asking her out for coffee or tapas; your choice.
On the body weight issue, I'm definitely overweight even though I'm lower than the average American male while being taller. I weep for this country, and can't even imagine what the south must look like given that I'm one of the fattest people I see in my area.
Colorado's obesity rate is higher now than Mississippi's 20 years ago.
Colorado is hovering around 17% last I checked...Are you sure?
http://www.cdc.gov/obesity/data/trends.html
Lowest of the current list, but going by the map they've got on that site, it looks plausible at least (no data for Mississippi till 1990, then its in the 10-14% range. In 1991 they move up a bracket so probably very near the top of that range). Mississippi is currently leading the pack at 34.4%.
Lalilulelo: Sounds like time for an official meeting in person.
So the girl I met in person by accident and prematurely isn't a ruined case yet. I messaged her,
Well that was just a little tiny bit awkward. O_O
But it was nice to meet you in person, however unexpected or ungraceful it may have been. ^_^
And she responded
I thought u looked familiar lol
So that was a favorable end to what could have been an awkward catastrophe. But how should I proceed?
You say "Well, since we've already met, want to get together for [activity/beverages]?"
I feel like that's a premature move.
I might be overly cautious..
Don't delay; just give her a message back. You already have met each other in person; she knows you're not full of it because you're basically looking for a gallery for your work - just do it.
As an aside, OKC scares the living daylights out of me for my region, there be some messed up people all up ins (seriously, almost all the females have 1+ children for my age bracket (mid-late 20s) wtf!
Yeah there's a lot of girls with kids... I saw one suggested match, 1 kid, dropped out of high school, makes less than I make (I'm barely cracking the 20k/year barrier). I don't think she even lived in my state. I was like, um... so... why is this a good thing? And her profile was hardly filled out so it wasn't even like i could say, 'well she seems nice.'
I'm Catholic, and it's great when OKC throws me matches that are 'Atheist and serious about it.' It's like, I'll go so far as agnostic but I don't know if an atheist is going to be the best match for me in any kind of long term relationship. We can be friends, but come on. I can see it now:
Me: I HATE THE WAY YOU MANIPULATE, AND YOU NEVER WANT TO DO THE THINGS I LIKE! Sometimes, I just want to play PLAYSTATION!
Her: Oh yeah? Well you believe in an invisible magic man who lives in the sky! All your traditions are borrowed from Pagan holidays!
I'm Catholic, and it's great when OKC throws me matches that are 'Atheist and serious about it.' It's like, I'll go so far as agnostic but I don't know if an atheist is going to be the best match for me in any kind of long term relationship. We can be friends, but come on.
Honestly, sometimes I have to wonder if people really know what box they're checking, because a lot of people in general don't seem to understand that "atheist" and "agnostic" are not the same thing at all. I bet plenty of people check the atheist box because they aren't particularly religious and don't know what the word implies to those who are.
I'm Catholic, and it's great when OKC throws me matches that are 'Atheist and serious about it.' It's like, I'll go so far as agnostic but I don't know if an atheist is going to be the best match for me in any kind of long term relationship. We can be friends, but come on.
Honestly, sometimes I have to wonder if people really know what box they're checking, because a lot of people in general don't seem to understand that "atheist" and "agnostic" are not the same thing at all. I bet plenty of people check the atheist box because they aren't particularly religious and don't know what the word implies to those who are.
If they don't know the difference then we really don't have anything to talk about. :?
I'm Catholic, and it's great when OKC throws me matches that are 'Atheist and serious about it.' It's like, I'll go so far as agnostic but I don't know if an atheist is going to be the best match for me in any kind of long term relationship. We can be friends, but come on. I can see it now:
Lali, it might be true that some people wouldn't be willing to date outside their faith, but that's not true of everyone. I'm an atheist, and I wouldn't mock a partner of mine for being religious. I'm a pretty serious atheist, not someone who just doesn't care (as mentioned a couple posts before mine). But I realize it's unacceptable to mock my partner for her religion. And I realize it'd be a little harder for someone religious to date an atheist than the other way (what with knowing they're going to hell and all) but it's not a deal breaker for everyone.
In your case, sure, you might never date an "Atheist and serious about it." But some "Catholic and serious about it"s would, and OKC isn't smart enough to pick out who it would work for and who it wouldn't.
Me: I HATE THE WAY YOU MANIPULATE, AND YOU NEVER WANT TO DO THE THINGS I LIKE! Sometimes, I just want to play PLAYSTATION!
Her: Oh yeah? Well you believe in an invisible magic man who lives in the sky! All your traditions are borrowed from Pagan holidays!
I'm Catholic, and it's great when OKC throws me matches that are 'Atheist and serious about it.' It's like, I'll go so far as agnostic but I don't know if an atheist is going to be the best match for me in any kind of long term relationship. We can be friends, but come on. I can see it now:
Lali, it might be true that some people wouldn't be willing to date outside their faith, but that's not true of everyone. I'm an atheist, and I wouldn't mock a partner of mine for being religious. I'm a pretty serious atheist, not someone who just doesn't care (as mentioned a couple posts before mine). But I realize it's unacceptable to mock my partner for her religion. And I realize it'd be a little harder for someone religious to date an atheist than the other way (what with knowing they're going to hell and all) but it's not a deal breaker for everyone.
In your case, sure, you might never date an "Atheist and serious about it." But some "Catholic and serious about it"s would, and OKC isn't smart enough to pick out who it would work for and who it wouldn't.
It's not necessarily a deal breaker for me. But my strongest relationships (not just S.O.s) involve being able to connect on as many levels as possible, especially some level of spirituality.
Me: I HATE THE WAY YOU MANIPULATE, AND YOU NEVER WANT TO DO THE THINGS I LIKE! Sometimes, I just want to play PLAYSTATION!
Her: Oh yeah? Well you believe in an invisible magic man who lives in the sky! All your traditions are borrowed from Pagan holidays!
As an aside, OKC scares the living daylights out of me for my region, there be some messed up people all up ins (seriously, almost all the females have 1+ children for my age bracket (mid-late 20s) wtf!
seriously dude, welcome to utah. except change that age bracket to early-mid 20s.
I'm Catholic, and it's great when OKC throws me matches that are 'Atheist and serious about it.' It's like, I'll go so far as agnostic but I don't know if an atheist is going to be the best match for me in any kind of long term relationship. We can be friends, but come on. I can see it now:
Lali, it might be true that some people wouldn't be willing to date outside their faith, but that's not true of everyone. I'm an atheist, and I wouldn't mock a partner of mine for being religious. I'm a pretty serious atheist, not someone who just doesn't care (as mentioned a couple posts before mine). But I realize it's unacceptable to mock my partner for her religion. And I realize it'd be a little harder for someone religious to date an atheist than the other way (what with knowing they're going to hell and all) but it's not a deal breaker for everyone.
In your case, sure, you might never date an "Atheist and serious about it." But some "Catholic and serious about it"s would, and OKC isn't smart enough to pick out who it would work for and who it wouldn't.
It's not necessarily a deal breaker for me. But my strongest relationships (not just S.O.s) involve being able to connect on as many levels as possible, especially some level of spirituality.
I understand. It's just another matter where OKC has to generalize, and can't be perfect at selecting your matches, all it can do is help out. There are lots of cases where I o_O at the matches I get. It seems to give me a lot of trannies and hardcore metal types (keep in mind, I'm a 9-5 office worker cube slave and I hate tattoos).
Also: Hahaha. Just saw this:
I'm more or less 18 and if you don't know what I'm implying, don't bother messaging me to ask. Also, don't message me if you're married or to ask if I "want an older man." I should think the age preference part of my "looking for" section implies the latter.
Read: "I'm 16 or 17 and looking for a pedo sugar daddy to whisk me away!"
I'm Catholic, and it's great when OKC throws me matches that are 'Atheist and serious about it.' It's like, I'll go so far as agnostic but I don't know if an atheist is going to be the best match for me in any kind of long term relationship. We can be friends, but come on. I can see it now:
Lali, it might be true that some people wouldn't be willing to date outside their faith, but that's not true of everyone. I'm an atheist, and I wouldn't mock a partner of mine for being religious. I'm a pretty serious atheist, not someone who just doesn't care (as mentioned a couple posts before mine). But I realize it's unacceptable to mock my partner for her religion. And I realize it'd be a little harder for someone religious to date an atheist than the other way (what with knowing they're going to hell and all) but it's not a deal breaker for everyone.
In your case, sure, you might never date an "Atheist and serious about it." But some "Catholic and serious about it"s would, and OKC isn't smart enough to pick out who it would work for and who it wouldn't.
That's just Christians. Other religions believe that God's not going to wait if you've pissed him off.
I'm Catholic, and it's great when OKC throws me matches that are 'Atheist and serious about it.' It's like, I'll go so far as agnostic but I don't know if an atheist is going to be the best match for me in any kind of long term relationship. We can be friends, but come on.
Honestly, sometimes I have to wonder if people really know what box they're checking, because a lot of people in general don't seem to understand that "atheist" and "agnostic" are not the same thing at all. I bet plenty of people check the atheist box because they aren't particularly religious and don't know what the word implies to those who are.
functionally I wouldn't say they're very different, especially to a religious person
I'm Catholic, and it's great when OKC throws me matches that are 'Atheist and serious about it.' It's like, I'll go so far as agnostic but I don't know if an atheist is going to be the best match for me in any kind of long term relationship. We can be friends, but come on. I can see it now:
Lali, it might be true that some people wouldn't be willing to date outside their faith, but that's not true of everyone. I'm an atheist, and I wouldn't mock a partner of mine for being religious. I'm a pretty serious atheist, not someone who just doesn't care (as mentioned a couple posts before mine). But I realize it's unacceptable to mock my partner for her religion. And I realize it'd be a little harder for someone religious to date an atheist than the other way (what with knowing they're going to hell and all) but it's not a deal breaker for everyone.
In your case, sure, you might never date an "Atheist and serious about it." But some "Catholic and serious about it"s would, and OKC isn't smart enough to pick out who it would work for and who it wouldn't.
That's just Christians. Other religions believe that God's not going to wait if you've pissed him off.
You're right. And other religions wouldn't care at all. I misused "religious" when I meant "Christian."
I'm Catholic, and it's great when OKC throws me matches that are 'Atheist and serious about it.' It's like, I'll go so far as agnostic but I don't know if an atheist is going to be the best match for me in any kind of long term relationship. We can be friends, but come on.
Honestly, sometimes I have to wonder if people really know what box they're checking, because a lot of people in general don't seem to understand that "atheist" and "agnostic" are not the same thing at all. I bet plenty of people check the atheist box because they aren't particularly religious and don't know what the word implies to those who are.
functionally I wouldn't say they're very different, especially to a religious person
I find the two distinct.
Anyway.
still mulling over this whole thing. Money is tight now so I'm not in a position to go out at the moment. Guess I should just bide my time.
I'm Catholic, and it's great when OKC throws me matches that are 'Atheist and serious about it.' It's like, I'll go so far as agnostic but I don't know if an atheist is going to be the best match for me in any kind of long term relationship. We can be friends, but come on.
Honestly, sometimes I have to wonder if people really know what box they're checking, because a lot of people in general don't seem to understand that "atheist" and "agnostic" are not the same thing at all. I bet plenty of people check the atheist box because they aren't particularly religious and don't know what the word implies to those who are.
functionally I wouldn't say they're very different, especially to a religious person
I find the two distinct.
Anyway.
still mulling over this whole thing. Money is tight now so I'm not in a position to go out at the moment. Guess I should just bide my time.
Ask her to meet up for a beverage of some sort. Surely you can scrape together a few bucks for a drink. Sounds like you're way overthinking/worrying this, just give it a shot, you have nothing to lose.
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thatassemblyguyJanitor of Technical Debt.Registered Userregular
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still mulling over this whole thing. Money is tight now so I'm not in a position to go out at the moment. Guess I should just bide my time.
Ask her to meet up for a beverage of some sort. Surely you can scrape together a few bucks for a drink. Sounds like you're way overthinking/worrying this, just give it a shot, you have nothing to lose.
Fortune favors the bold, sir. Like Pellaeon suggests, get 4 or 5 dollars together (pan handle, what ever you must) and just be like, "Hey, want to go to <insert local coffee house> and get a drink." The longer you delay, the weirder it becomes. Get to it!
Yeah, you can just go for coffee and a walk or something. In fact, I think if you don't ask her out, you'd be sending a pretty loud "I'm not really interested after having seen you" message.
Yeah, you can just go for coffee and a walk or something. In fact, I think if you don't ask her out, you'd be sending a pretty loud "I'm not really interested after having seen you" message.
As an aside, OKC scares the living daylights out of me for my region, there be some messed up people all up ins (seriously, almost all the females have 1+ children for my age bracket (mid-late 20s) wtf!
seriously dude, welcome to utah. except change that age bracket to early-mid 20s.
Pfft I live in Albuquerque and it seems everyone has a child here even the crazy women
As for religion I keep my mouth shut about it since I really don't care but the loud mouths do annoy me I did not fill out the box at all
My money is quite tight so I do go on dates when I can afford to which is not that often. I do like dating but since last summer I have not been on one nor does it look like it's going to change
Yeahhh well, what can I say? ^_^
Since that's out of the way I guess the ice is (unexpectedly) broken, would you like to meet somewhere for coffee/tea/whatever? You know, at a time and place of our choosing? :P
SixCaches Tweets in the mainframe cyberhexRegistered Userregular
edited April 2011
Don't be so wishy washy. Ask her out to do something specific, at a specific place, at a specific time. You're asking her to do all the work, which is annoying.
If she's going to say no to that, she's going to say no (or give a half answer/half rejection) to what you wrote.
"Want to get coffee at [specific place] on [specific day]?"
And maybe I'm just old, but enough with the emoticons. I know it's trying to be cute, but to me they reek of trying to hard and being insecure. I know I've had girls view messages form me in a much poorer light because I used one smiley.
Edit: I've never picked a specific place to go without knowing we were going to go somewhere. Picking a place isn't hard I just usually ask a girl if she wants to go anywhere first. That's been pretty effective up to this point. But I get what you're saying, and naming a day was a good point-- dunno why I neglected that. Also the 'time and place of our choosing' was a joke in reference to the fact that I ran into her accidentally for the first time while I was out gallery hunting. It was awkward and graceless (and funny) for everyone involved.
Posts
3+ is 4000
4+ is 6000
5 is 8000
And she responded
So that was a favorable end to what could have been an awkward catastrophe. But how should I proceed?
Well I look at her profile and the first thing I notice is that she has a lazy eye, which is apparent in all of her pictures. I feel like a dick, but I kind of don't want to respond based on that, but then my friend convinces me not to be such an asshole so I attempt a conversation. I ask her what she wants to talk about and she just parrots my question back. Oookaayyy...
So I try to talk about things on her profile and all the answers are basically "Uh huh" and "yeah." As this is happening I notice more things, like that she's somewhat serious about her religion (I don't mind if a girl has faith, but if she's serious about it we might not be a good match) and that we're 53% match and 38% enemy. I'm trying to figure out why she's messaging me.
My friend says I should ask about super powers; she's a particularly cool girl, this friend, but still a girl so I figure it can't be the worst lead in the world and decide to ask it.By the time I get back to this girl IMing me, though, she's said that she's tired of being sick. I ask what's wrong and she says it's complications from medication she has to take for her illness. I commiserate with her for a bit, resulting in more "uh huh", and then I ask her what super power she'd want, and her answer is that she'd want to always be healthy. How the fuck do I respond to that? "Oh! Mine is telekineses"?
Colorado is hovering around 17% last I checked...Are you sure?
Not the brightest crayon in the box... I'd keep it movin'.
The ice has basically already been broken; you've both seen each other in person. I think you're a "Go" for asking her out for coffee or tapas; your choice.
Lowest of the current list, but going by the map they've got on that site, it looks plausible at least (no data for Mississippi till 1990, then its in the 10-14% range. In 1991 they move up a bracket so probably very near the top of that range). Mississippi is currently leading the pack at 34.4%.
Lalilulelo: Sounds like time for an official meeting in person.
You say "Well, since we've already met, want to get together for [activity/beverages]?"
I feel like that's a premature move.
I might be overly cautious..
Don't delay; just give her a message back. You already have met each other in person; she knows you're not full of it because you're basically looking for a gallery for your work - just do it.
As an aside, OKC scares the living daylights out of me for my region, there be some messed up people all up ins (seriously, almost all the females have 1+ children for my age bracket (mid-late 20s) wtf!
I'm Catholic, and it's great when OKC throws me matches that are 'Atheist and serious about it.' It's like, I'll go so far as agnostic but I don't know if an atheist is going to be the best match for me in any kind of long term relationship. We can be friends, but come on. I can see it now:
Me: I HATE THE WAY YOU MANIPULATE, AND YOU NEVER WANT TO DO THE THINGS I LIKE! Sometimes, I just want to play PLAYSTATION!
Her: Oh yeah? Well you believe in an invisible magic man who lives in the sky! All your traditions are borrowed from Pagan holidays!
Me: ;_;
Honestly, sometimes I have to wonder if people really know what box they're checking, because a lot of people in general don't seem to understand that "atheist" and "agnostic" are not the same thing at all. I bet plenty of people check the atheist box because they aren't particularly religious and don't know what the word implies to those who are.
If they don't know the difference then we really don't have anything to talk about. :?
Lali, it might be true that some people wouldn't be willing to date outside their faith, but that's not true of everyone. I'm an atheist, and I wouldn't mock a partner of mine for being religious. I'm a pretty serious atheist, not someone who just doesn't care (as mentioned a couple posts before mine). But I realize it's unacceptable to mock my partner for her religion. And I realize it'd be a little harder for someone religious to date an atheist than the other way (what with knowing they're going to hell and all) but it's not a deal breaker for everyone.
In your case, sure, you might never date an "Atheist and serious about it." But some "Catholic and serious about it"s would, and OKC isn't smart enough to pick out who it would work for and who it wouldn't.
It's true, that is how we argue.
It's not necessarily a deal breaker for me. But my strongest relationships (not just S.O.s) involve being able to connect on as many levels as possible, especially some level of spirituality.
Really? I was just drawing a caricature. :P
seriously dude, welcome to utah. except change that age bracket to early-mid 20s.
I understand. It's just another matter where OKC has to generalize, and can't be perfect at selecting your matches, all it can do is help out. There are lots of cases where I o_O at the matches I get. It seems to give me a lot of trannies and hardcore metal types (keep in mind, I'm a 9-5 office worker cube slave and I hate tattoos).
Also: Hahaha. Just saw this:
Read: "I'm 16 or 17 and looking for a pedo sugar daddy to whisk me away!"
That's just Christians. Other religions believe that God's not going to wait if you've pissed him off.
functionally I wouldn't say they're very different, especially to a religious person
You're right. And other religions wouldn't care at all. I misused "religious" when I meant "Christian."
I find the two distinct.
Anyway.
still mulling over this whole thing. Money is tight now so I'm not in a position to go out at the moment. Guess I should just bide my time.
Ask her to meet up for a beverage of some sort. Surely you can scrape together a few bucks for a drink. Sounds like you're way overthinking/worrying this, just give it a shot, you have nothing to lose.
Fortune favors the bold, sir. Like Pellaeon suggests, get 4 or 5 dollars together (pan handle, what ever you must) and just be like, "Hey, want to go to <insert local coffee house> and get a drink." The longer you delay, the weirder it becomes. Get to it!
Good point, everyone. O_O
Pfft I live in Albuquerque and it seems everyone has a child here even the crazy women
As for religion I keep my mouth shut about it since I really don't care but the loud mouths do annoy me I did not fill out the box at all
My money is quite tight so I do go on dates when I can afford to which is not that often. I do like dating but since last summer I have not been on one nor does it look like it's going to change
If she's going to say no to that, she's going to say no (or give a half answer/half rejection) to what you wrote.
"Want to get coffee at [specific place] on [specific day]?"
And maybe I'm just old, but enough with the emoticons. I know it's trying to be cute, but to me they reek of trying to hard and being insecure. I know I've had girls view messages form me in a much poorer light because I used one smiley.
Edit: I've never picked a specific place to go without knowing we were going to go somewhere. Picking a place isn't hard I just usually ask a girl if she wants to go anywhere first. That's been pretty effective up to this point. But I get what you're saying, and naming a day was a good point-- dunno why I neglected that. Also the 'time and place of our choosing' was a joke in reference to the fact that I ran into her accidentally for the first time while I was out gallery hunting. It was awkward and graceless (and funny) for everyone involved.