Buying a deep fat fryer. I really don't want to get fat, but the deliciousness....
Oh god the tasty things are calling me.
oh god yes
get some corndogs
We do not have corn dogs over here. Not that I've ever seen. I may have to investigate further. Tonight I think I shall make battered Cod and chips.
How?!
How what?
How can you not have corn dogs? Your life is a shadow of hppiness, a rickety, thrown-together semblance of order, a veneer waiting to be stripped away to expose the rot underneath.
We have jelly babies, jaffa cakes, pork pies, Yorkshire pudding...I can go on.
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Metzger MeisterIt Gets Worsebefore it gets any better.Registered Userregular
Really? Some spring shotguns I was looking at online claimed 350fps. Paintball guns arent allowed to shoot over 300 and generally you are shooting at 280fps incase your pressue spikes so you dont go over 300. And with a paintball gun at 280fps I definately shot over 20 feet. I guess since it's shooting three BBs at once it has shit accuracy or something though?
Oh well, guess I'll look into a different gun if I ever want to play airsoft.
Basically the FPS numbers that websites give you is horse-shit.
The best people to ask about that are people who actually own the guns and reviews by websites that aren't a store.
It's like researching paintball guns all over again. So many lies from companies.
"This longer barrel will make you shoot faster". No, you jackass. It won't. Everyone's paintballs are limited at the same FPS cap. So unless your gun is going to deny the laws of physics, you're full of shit. In fact, your longer barrel is hurting your Co2 efficiency and making your gun unwiedly. You want to know how to shoot further? Angle the gun up you gutter cunt.
I just want to go in there like fucking gangbusters and take my stuff back
here's what you do
go in there, get your stuff, throw a pipe and a bong on the ground, turn the stove on, leave a frying pan full of grease on there, then sprinkle some weed around that way it burns up and then knock your roommates out
you get your shit, you get vindication, and they're dead.
no big deal, right?
Dead Legend on
diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
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FrankoSometimes I really wish I had four feet so I could dance with myself to the drumbeatRegistered Userregular
edited June 2007
aight so this just happened today, I had to fucking tell someone and if I told me parents they would freak out more than I did today this thread looked like the place to do it.
So two weeks ago I moved to China to teach English, I live in this city called Wenzhou, economically it's a powerful city. Anyway today after playing a couple hours of ping pong with co-working english teacher here we met these 10 high school girls that were dying to talk to us. Even though they said they were 17, asian chicks that young are even younger looking, and not my style. My buddy on the other hand will take any oppurtunity presented to him to test out his chinese. The girls exclaimed it was fate they met us because they had their english exam the next day, and wanted us to come to their high school to help them study. I reluctantly agreed, since I figured it'd be good advertisement and the more students I get the more money I rake it (I already get paid 4 times as much as a University graduate). So we walk for 10minutes before we begin to near the school, at which point I see these huge forge like fires from behind the school concrete walls. I jokingly told my buddy they were probably 'smelting iron to make weapons'.
Than we got to the gate and I could make out these two tall asian guys in green camo army uniforms, and a third in a toll gate. The girls insist we come through and I started freaking out and looking around. Through the gate I see atleast 3 camoed trucks with army canopies about 20 troopers in battle camo and the type of foliage and trees you only see in movies about 'Nam. There is no turning back now, the girls are excited and urge us forth, my buddy keeps repeating we are teachers as we go through the gate. This city has 400,000 chinese people in it, me and the other teacher are the only white guys, when people see us on the street they smile and are excited. When the soldiers saw us they gave me the kind of look that made me want to shit my pants, which was extra bad because I have been having major diarrhea while trying to adjust to the food here.
So anyway, we start going up the stairs of the mian building, there are troops everywhere, all are wearing red communist arm bands and are buffed and tanned from their rigorous army drilling.
We get to the top where I can see in about 3 rooms where soldiers are chilling out, they look like they have been dug in for weeks, they are surrounded by shrink-wrapped skids of waterbottles and ration crates. Like 90% of the foreign teachers here in China, my friend and I are not exactly operating 'validly' so right about now all I can think of is how I don't want to be some asianman's bitch in a red chinese prison. The girls on the other hand are all happy and excited and are exclaim to us 'look at the soldiers, they are so strong, look at them, look'. I'm to freaked out to say anything but my buddy is trying in his manliest voice to say 'I do not want to look at soldier's I am your teacher, we must study, you have a test.' This one soldier comes up to us and starts yelling shit to advanced for me to understand, but he wants us the fuck out. The girls look all sad in some freakish anime way, but I'm ready to cry. We get escorted out and the girls are laughing and saying the troops only come to the school once every month and they didn't know theyd be there tonight, I called them fucking liars and than peaced out. The girls called us 2 hours later and said they wanted to be our wives.
So that's my story, I may not have told it well, but you try coming to a communist country and being unsuspectingly lead into an army training facility by school girls. Ya
FrankoSometimes I really wish I had four feet so I could dance with myself to the drumbeatRegistered Userregular
edited June 2007
That's all hearsay, but to be sure I do all my posting and porn watching from behind a proxy server
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RankenphilePassersby were amazedby the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderatormod
edited June 2007
every once in a while when I'm mostly asleep I'll scratch my ass and then put my hand next to my face and then it is all gah this hand smells like my ass
So yes, I did indeed get sent home with no pay. I shoved one of the douchebag coworkers I work with during lunch, had a meeting with the warehouse manager, and the Operations Manager and Asst. Manager.
It was something that had been building up for several weeks and I feel like a dick for snapping like that.
BUT.
After I clocked out and got my stuff the Operations Manager came up and said "Off the record, you are a smart kid, and we have a future for you here. Those two? Those two are shit. Think of this as vacation time, I'll make up the hours to you sometime. Know that if they continue to bring this shit on you, they'll both be gone."
So ouch, my back hurts but hey I know that they intend to keep me around and promote me to some sort of managerial position at some point.
So yes, I did indeed get sent home with no pay. I shoved one of the douchebag coworkers I work with during lunch, had a meeting with the warehouse manager, and the Operations Manager and Asst. Manager.
It was something that had been building up for several weeks and I feel like a dick for snapping like that.
BUT.
After I clocked out and got my stuff the Operations Manager came up and said "Off the record, you are a smart kid, and we have a future for you here. Those two? Those two are shit. Think of this as vacation time, I'll make up the hours to you sometime. Know that if they continue to bring this shit on you, they'll both be gone."
So ouch, my back hurts but hey I know that they intend to keep me around and promote me to some sort of managerial position at some point.
That's pretty damn sweet pep-talk.
And now your boss knows you got balls of steel.
I could be outside swimming or something. Actually doing something. Instead, I'm sitting at the computer waiting on an email from my dad to tell me whether he ordered my laptop or not.
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ButtersA glass of some milksRegistered Userregular
every once in a while when I'm mostly asleep I'll scratch my ass and then put my hand next to my face and then it is all gah this hand smells like my ass
There's been an ongoing history of bullshit between them and myself, originally starting because I make more money than one of them. [sidenote: Which they should not know because it's company policy not to discuss payrates with anyone except management or payroll, but since one of the gangsta's mom's worked in the main office up until a few weeks ago [fired for incompetance, go figure] she let is slip what my pay rate is.
During my lunch break I tend to just stick around in the shipping office I work in since it's got AC and a microwave, and I like to be able to listen to my music and check the forums in relative peace.
There are three stools in that office, one is the warehouse manager's since we share the office, the other is for whoever, and the last is one I use for when I'm processing orders or doing paperwork.
Douchebag A and B also go in there to eat so they can browse MySpace on a spare PC the warehouse guys use for checking item stock and whatnot.
Douchebag A will grab one stool and starts checking out his girlies. I have already put my food into the microwave and sat back down (the manager even suggest I clock out for lunch early since Douchebag B tends to take the seat while I'm clocking out, so as to avoid the problem entirely.)
Today I got up to get my food out of the microwave and Douchebag B take the stool.
I bring my food back to my desk and ask him for the seat back.
"No."
Again, please may I have the seat back, I only got up to get my food.
"Naw man, this seat is anybody's seat."
Again, annoyed. Please. Get. Out. Of. My. Seat.
"Man, yo, piss off n' junk."
I grab the bottom of the stool to pull it out from under him, yank it, while at the same time he sits up quickly. I go flying backwards, landing on my back, hard.
He picks the stool up, sits back down, laughing.
I tell him to give me the fucking stool.
He picks it up and moves it to the left of his buddy, I shoved him to make a grab for it. He immediately stops and goes off to tell the Asst. Operations Manager.
I'm not proud of what I did, it was stupid immature bullshit but it's been happening almost since I started working there and I've tolerated it for months. I told my side of the story in a meeting with the various managers, clocked out, spoke with the operations manager, then came home.
Posts
We have jelly babies, jaffa cakes, pork pies, Yorkshire pudding...I can go on.
that's not a decision: that's a fucking granted wish.
Or enjoy a blowjob. Did his beard tickle?
and no it didnt.
Just a lucky guess.
now when people jokingly call me a whore i will smile on the inside, knowing the truth.
graves i gotta say i can respect a man so brazen as to get paid for receiving a blowjob
i've been paid for sex before, but i've never been paid for basically receiving a service
the whole business seems so bizarro
it's like going to a mechanic's and having them pay you for the privelage of working on your car
I've been accidentally hilarious a few times.
It's like researching paintball guns all over again. So many lies from companies.
"This longer barrel will make you shoot faster". No, you jackass. It won't. Everyone's paintballs are limited at the same FPS cap. So unless your gun is going to deny the laws of physics, you're full of shit. In fact, your longer barrel is hurting your Co2 efficiency and making your gun unwiedly. You want to know how to shoot further? Angle the gun up you gutter cunt.
/rant
how topical.
Man I don't wanna get fired.
what did he do?
I dunno, I may have to go have a meeting with my manager and the Assistant Operations manager.
What a day
it took six months of fairly heavy revision
but i made it
and oh lord i am relieved
here's what you do
go in there, get your stuff, throw a pipe and a bong on the ground, turn the stove on, leave a frying pan full of grease on there, then sprinkle some weed around that way it burns up and then knock your roommates out
you get your shit, you get vindication, and they're dead.
no big deal, right?
So two weeks ago I moved to China to teach English, I live in this city called Wenzhou, economically it's a powerful city. Anyway today after playing a couple hours of ping pong with co-working english teacher here we met these 10 high school girls that were dying to talk to us. Even though they said they were 17, asian chicks that young are even younger looking, and not my style. My buddy on the other hand will take any oppurtunity presented to him to test out his chinese. The girls exclaimed it was fate they met us because they had their english exam the next day, and wanted us to come to their high school to help them study. I reluctantly agreed, since I figured it'd be good advertisement and the more students I get the more money I rake it (I already get paid 4 times as much as a University graduate). So we walk for 10minutes before we begin to near the school, at which point I see these huge forge like fires from behind the school concrete walls. I jokingly told my buddy they were probably 'smelting iron to make weapons'.
Than we got to the gate and I could make out these two tall asian guys in green camo army uniforms, and a third in a toll gate. The girls insist we come through and I started freaking out and looking around. Through the gate I see atleast 3 camoed trucks with army canopies about 20 troopers in battle camo and the type of foliage and trees you only see in movies about 'Nam. There is no turning back now, the girls are excited and urge us forth, my buddy keeps repeating we are teachers as we go through the gate. This city has 400,000 chinese people in it, me and the other teacher are the only white guys, when people see us on the street they smile and are excited. When the soldiers saw us they gave me the kind of look that made me want to shit my pants, which was extra bad because I have been having major diarrhea while trying to adjust to the food here.
So anyway, we start going up the stairs of the mian building, there are troops everywhere, all are wearing red communist arm bands and are buffed and tanned from their rigorous army drilling.
We get to the top where I can see in about 3 rooms where soldiers are chilling out, they look like they have been dug in for weeks, they are surrounded by shrink-wrapped skids of waterbottles and ration crates. Like 90% of the foreign teachers here in China, my friend and I are not exactly operating 'validly' so right about now all I can think of is how I don't want to be some asianman's bitch in a red chinese prison. The girls on the other hand are all happy and excited and are exclaim to us 'look at the soldiers, they are so strong, look at them, look'. I'm to freaked out to say anything but my buddy is trying in his manliest voice to say 'I do not want to look at soldier's I am your teacher, we must study, you have a test.' This one soldier comes up to us and starts yelling shit to advanced for me to understand, but he wants us the fuck out. The girls look all sad in some freakish anime way, but I'm ready to cry. We get escorted out and the girls are laughing and saying the troops only come to the school once every month and they didn't know theyd be there tonight, I called them fucking liars and than peaced out. The girls called us 2 hours later and said they wanted to be our wives.
So that's my story, I may not have told it well, but you try coming to a communist country and being unsuspectingly lead into an army training facility by school girls. Ya
Yep.
I'm home.
What happened?
I mean isn't it censored to the point that you saying what you just said is gonna get you raped?
This is all very funny to me.
muh.
It was something that had been building up for several weeks and I feel like a dick for snapping like that.
BUT.
After I clocked out and got my stuff the Operations Manager came up and said "Off the record, you are a smart kid, and we have a future for you here. Those two? Those two are shit. Think of this as vacation time, I'll make up the hours to you sometime. Know that if they continue to bring this shit on you, they'll both be gone."
So ouch, my back hurts but hey I know that they intend to keep me around and promote me to some sort of managerial position at some point.
That's pretty damn sweet pep-talk.
And now your boss knows you got balls of steel.
muh.
Everybody does that. It's an intriguing smell.
I work with a pair of suburban gangstas.
There's been an ongoing history of bullshit between them and myself, originally starting because I make more money than one of them. [sidenote: Which they should not know because it's company policy not to discuss payrates with anyone except management or payroll, but since one of the gangsta's mom's worked in the main office up until a few weeks ago [fired for incompetance, go figure] she let is slip what my pay rate is.
During my lunch break I tend to just stick around in the shipping office I work in since it's got AC and a microwave, and I like to be able to listen to my music and check the forums in relative peace.
There are three stools in that office, one is the warehouse manager's since we share the office, the other is for whoever, and the last is one I use for when I'm processing orders or doing paperwork.
Douchebag A and B also go in there to eat so they can browse MySpace on a spare PC the warehouse guys use for checking item stock and whatnot.
Douchebag A will grab one stool and starts checking out his girlies. I have already put my food into the microwave and sat back down (the manager even suggest I clock out for lunch early since Douchebag B tends to take the seat while I'm clocking out, so as to avoid the problem entirely.)
Today I got up to get my food out of the microwave and Douchebag B take the stool.
I bring my food back to my desk and ask him for the seat back.
"No."
Again, please may I have the seat back, I only got up to get my food.
"Naw man, this seat is anybody's seat."
Again, annoyed. Please. Get. Out. Of. My. Seat.
"Man, yo, piss off n' junk."
I grab the bottom of the stool to pull it out from under him, yank it, while at the same time he sits up quickly. I go flying backwards, landing on my back, hard.
He picks the stool up, sits back down, laughing.
I tell him to give me the fucking stool.
He picks it up and moves it to the left of his buddy, I shoved him to make a grab for it. He immediately stops and goes off to tell the Asst. Operations Manager.
I'm not proud of what I did, it was stupid immature bullshit but it's been happening almost since I started working there and I've tolerated it for months. I told my side of the story in a meeting with the various managers, clocked out, spoke with the operations manager, then came home.