A man walked into a bar, deeply depressed and in search for some meaning. Feeling a growing pain in his stomach, he asked the bartender for the cheapest meal he could give. In front of the man was laid a sickly looking sweet potato.
The man then sparked a bit of a conversation with the potato, which while it may seem impossible to an ordinary man is quite normal when you're as depressed and as hungry as he.
"Where did you come from?" Asked the man, still too sad to eat and yet too awake to stay quiet.
"A farm" Answered the potato.
The man began to sob.
"How similar we are. You, a potato, born to be devoured by men, and I, a man, born to be devoured by worms."
The potato shrugged.
"Eh, its not so bad. We all get eaten eventually. I've lived a good life. Met a good potato-girl who became my potato-wife, had a couple of taters."
"But," Said the man, "Don't you have regrets? I for one have lived my whole life in a mad scramble to extend my life. A cyclical dance of pointlessness."
"No," Said the potato, taking a drink from the mans glass of water, "I have no regrets. If I had built a tower, it would have fallen. If I had built a name, it would have been forgotten. I did what made me happy, and whatever I get in death is exactly what I deserve."
The man shook his head.
"No no, you've got it all wrong. I want to be important! I want to achieve! I want people to remember me!"
The potato smiled.
"You are, in your unimportance, important. Its because of the ant drones that the queen has any importance or means of survival at all. Contextually in society, you are, in your seemingly pointless life, the very essence of collective importance. Because of the boring people in society, we have the exciting people! Without the boring, then we'd all be exciting, which would become the new social norm. Therefore, because it would become common-place, it would in effect become the new "boring" of society, while the original boring would, in their rarety, become the new "exciting". You may think that the celebrities that lounge around lazily are the most important of people, but it is by your hard-work that they exist at all."
The man shook his head.
"I don't understand..."
The potato smiled again.
"Its simple. Society has social castes. Therefore, because of the existence of a lower caste, aka your caste, there exists an upper caste. Because of the "unimportant" men and women who work all day every day, we have the "important" achievers who are considered "rare". And remember, without the "common" there is no "rare". Contextually, you give them their very purpose of existence. You need each other, and therefore are of equal importance."
The man began to smile.
"So who... What, are you?"
The potato thought for a moment.
"You kill me, eat me, and I extend your life. I am food. I am a sacrifice."
The mans smile shrunk.
"But what are you? You're a living thing- You feel pain, you can communicate, you have a will to survive... What seperates you from me, a man? What are you?"
The sweet potato shrugged.
"I yam what I yam."
0
Options
Hi I'm Vee!Formerly VH; She/Her; Is an E X P E R I E N C ERegistered Userregular
Who has a day off tomorrow which means he has an opportunity to check in on [chat] for the first time in 4-5 days?
Me.
Hi [chat].
How's the re-instatement of your old job treating you?
So when they laid me off after the 3rd week in November, they gave me two weeks warning, which was fair given the circumstance. All the same, the reality is my mood and morale suffered, and I wasn't as productive or as efficient as I could have been. I still cared about the final product, but that's just a thing with me and food and separate from the job itself.
Now they bring me back, and I know I'm only there for 3 weeks, so I'm pretty much in that exact same mood, except this time surrounded by slightly crabbier coworkers because it is the Christmas rush season!
All in all though it's been pretty good (and very busy), and it is nice to be back with the guys and gals again. Thanks for asking!
How have you been doing since last I spied upon you here in chat? :P
0
Options
ThomamelasOnly one man can kill this many Russians. Bring his guitar to me! Registered Userregular
Who has a day off tomorrow which means he has an opportunity to check in on [chat] for the first time in 4-5 days?
Me.
Hi [chat].
How's the re-instatement of your old job treating you?
So when they laid me off after the 3rd week in November, they gave me two weeks warning, which was fair given the circumstance. All the same, the reality is my mood and morale suffered, and I wasn't as productive or as efficient as I could have been. I still cared about the final product, but that's just a thing with me and food and separate from the job itself.
Now they bring me back, and I know I'm only there for 3 weeks, so I'm pretty much in that exact same mood, except this time surrounded by slightly crabbier coworkers because it is the Christmas rush season!
All in all though it's been pretty good (and very busy), and it is nice to be back with the guys and gals again. Thanks for asking!
How have you been doing since last I spied upon you here in chat? :P
Average these days.
That's unfortunate that they're not bringing you on full-time, duder. I think you should open a B & B. I've decided this is the thing you should do.
BeNarwhalThe Work Left UnfinishedRegistered Userregular
As a post-script to my life update, I may be receiving my "tip-out" at the company christmas party, which is a little exciting because it should be huge, given that I was pretty much the one-man operator of the golf course pub for the last 2+ months of the season.
Or rather, there was a second guy, but he bailed when the season ended because he was scared to work either in banquets or on the line of our high-end restaurant, so fuck him and give me all the money.
The male pronouns (he, him, his) are used
throughout this book. We hope this won't be interpreted
by anyone as an attempt to exclude females
from the game or to imply their exclusion.
Centuries of use have made these pronouns neutral,
and we feel their use provides for clear and
concise written text.
I like when books actually just alternate he and she
seems better than doing this disclaimer
I like using "they".
Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment.
Who has a day off tomorrow which means he has an opportunity to check in on [chat] for the first time in 4-5 days?
Me.
Hi [chat].
How's the re-instatement of your old job treating you?
So when they laid me off after the 3rd week in November, they gave me two weeks warning, which was fair given the circumstance. All the same, the reality is my mood and morale suffered, and I wasn't as productive or as efficient as I could have been. I still cared about the final product, but that's just a thing with me and food and separate from the job itself.
Now they bring me back, and I know I'm only there for 3 weeks, so I'm pretty much in that exact same mood, except this time surrounded by slightly crabbier coworkers because it is the Christmas rush season!
All in all though it's been pretty good (and very busy), and it is nice to be back with the guys and gals again. Thanks for asking!
How have you been doing since last I spied upon you here in chat? :P
Average these days.
That's unfortunate that they're not bringing you on full-time, duder. I think you should open a B & B. I've decided this is the thing you should do.
It's a golf course, I knew what I signed up for when I joined them in the spring .
But I have all sorts of options, though opening a place of my own is not among them! That would be my mother's dream, however, and she'd likely finance that experiment in failure. But I do not have the confidence nor skill nor experience to be trying anything crazy like that.
Instead, I shall apply at the big hotels downtown and get a job in their big lazy kitchens and get rich with their unionised pay, or I may sit on my ass for a few months and wait for the next golf season.
I mean what I SHOULD do is obvious, but what's easier and lazier is the dumb idea.
thatassemblyguyJanitor of Technical Debt.Registered Userregular
Why you getting down on yourself? I mean I can respect someone that can see, "I don't have the organizational skills for this." However, with your quick wit here, I doubt that's the case. Just keep it in your mind as you gain more experience.
Posts
No. I think a lot of us got it but were too busy curled up in balls in the corner to comment.
Probably not. I've been drinking a lot of diet soda. :P
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
you're a terrible dad you haven't fed us in five days
https://twitter.com/Hooraydiation
and drink more fluids
Drink some H2O, dooder.
dude I think I heard my granddad tell this one once
You fuckers need to learn how to provide for yourselves!
Spread your wings and fly, my children.
How's the re-instatement of your old job treating you?
Luxury.
The man then sparked a bit of a conversation with the potato, which while it may seem impossible to an ordinary man is quite normal when you're as depressed and as hungry as he.
"Where did you come from?" Asked the man, still too sad to eat and yet too awake to stay quiet.
"A farm" Answered the potato.
The man began to sob.
"How similar we are. You, a potato, born to be devoured by men, and I, a man, born to be devoured by worms."
The potato shrugged.
"Eh, its not so bad. We all get eaten eventually. I've lived a good life. Met a good potato-girl who became my potato-wife, had a couple of taters."
"But," Said the man, "Don't you have regrets? I for one have lived my whole life in a mad scramble to extend my life. A cyclical dance of pointlessness."
"No," Said the potato, taking a drink from the mans glass of water, "I have no regrets. If I had built a tower, it would have fallen. If I had built a name, it would have been forgotten. I did what made me happy, and whatever I get in death is exactly what I deserve."
The man shook his head.
"No no, you've got it all wrong. I want to be important! I want to achieve! I want people to remember me!"
The potato smiled.
"You are, in your unimportance, important. Its because of the ant drones that the queen has any importance or means of survival at all. Contextually in society, you are, in your seemingly pointless life, the very essence of collective importance. Because of the boring people in society, we have the exciting people! Without the boring, then we'd all be exciting, which would become the new social norm. Therefore, because it would become common-place, it would in effect become the new "boring" of society, while the original boring would, in their rarety, become the new "exciting". You may think that the celebrities that lounge around lazily are the most important of people, but it is by your hard-work that they exist at all."
The man shook his head.
"I don't understand..."
The potato smiled again.
"Its simple. Society has social castes. Therefore, because of the existence of a lower caste, aka your caste, there exists an upper caste. Because of the "unimportant" men and women who work all day every day, we have the "important" achievers who are considered "rare". And remember, without the "common" there is no "rare". Contextually, you give them their very purpose of existence. You need each other, and therefore are of equal importance."
The man began to smile.
"So who... What, are you?"
The potato thought for a moment.
"You kill me, eat me, and I extend your life. I am food. I am a sacrifice."
The mans smile shrunk.
"But what are you? You're a living thing- You feel pain, you can communicate, you have a will to survive... What seperates you from me, a man? What are you?"
The sweet potato shrugged.
"I yam what I yam."
Get a nicer place with more than one bathroom, you hippie.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
Oh sure, you can afford it, 1%-er.
Tee-hee. I'm way too stupid to be posting right now.
31
Damnit
because Thom is like the old man with the Betty Grabel reference
that is Thom in this scenario.
So when they laid me off after the 3rd week in November, they gave me two weeks warning, which was fair given the circumstance. All the same, the reality is my mood and morale suffered, and I wasn't as productive or as efficient as I could have been. I still cared about the final product, but that's just a thing with me and food and separate from the job itself.
Now they bring me back, and I know I'm only there for 3 weeks, so I'm pretty much in that exact same mood, except this time surrounded by slightly crabbier coworkers because it is the Christmas rush season!
All in all though it's been pretty good (and very busy), and it is nice to be back with the guys and gals again. Thanks for asking!
How have you been doing since last I spied upon you here in chat? :P
So why aren't you making me my money?
no shit?
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
Average these days.
That's unfortunate that they're not bringing you on full-time, duder. I think you should open a B & B. I've decided this is the thing you should do.
Or rather, there was a second guy, but he bailed when the season ended because he was scared to work either in banquets or on the line of our high-end restaurant, so fuck him and give me all the money.
I like using "they".
It's a golf course, I knew what I signed up for when I joined them in the spring
But I have all sorts of options, though opening a place of my own is not among them! That would be my mother's dream, however, and she'd likely finance that experiment in failure. But I do not have the confidence nor skill nor experience to be trying anything crazy like that.
Instead, I shall apply at the big hotels downtown and get a job in their big lazy kitchens and get rich with their unionised pay, or I may sit on my ass for a few months and wait for the next golf season.
I mean what I SHOULD do is obvious, but what's easier and lazier is the dumb idea.
That should be your catchphrase.
https://twitter.com/Hooraydiation
It is, verbatim, a phrase I used when having a conversation with one of my sous-chefs regarding year-end tip-out.
He nodded sagely and then laughed. I can only assume that that is a good sign!
I was totally excited for that when it came out
It has stuck in my head for years. Every once and awhile I think IT'S TIME TO SLAY THE DRAGON