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    Salvation122Salvation122 Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    So I'm pretty sure my mom thinks I'm gay

    I have developed an elaborate plot that ends with her walking in on me fapping to high-quality lesbian porn

    If nothing else I figure it'll at least get her to shut the fuck up about my sex life

    Salvation122 on
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    The CatThe Cat Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2007
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    My favorite is, "What do you want?"

    I hate that question, along with "what will you do after your course is finished"

    i don't fucking know

    something will come up

    something always comes up! meanwhile, I'm going to muck around and enjoy myself god damnit.

    The Cat on
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    JamesKeenanJamesKeenan Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    So I'm pretty sure my mom thinks I'm gay

    I have developed an elaborate plot that ends with her walking in on me fapping to high-quality lesbian porn

    If nothing else I figure it'll at least get her to shut the fuck up about my sex life

    That could backfire.

    *Mom walks in. Sees.*

    Mom says, "Oh my... son, you too?"

    JamesKeenan on
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    The CatThe Cat Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2007
    So I'm pretty sure my mom thinks I'm gay

    I have developed an elaborate plot that ends with her walking in on me fapping to high-quality lesbian porn

    If nothing else I figure it'll at least get her to shut the fuck up about my sex life

    Didn't she think you were suicidal for buying that threadless tee? I think you're way past the point where its worth giving a shit about her opinions.

    The Cat on
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    GimGim a tall glass of water Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    "I'm a lesbian trapped in a straight man's body."

    Gim on
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    JacobkoshJacobkosh Gamble a stamp. I can show you how to be a real man!Moderator mod
    edited September 2007
    Jesus god my wrists are killing me. I gave a backrub to this girl tonight and I think I've felt softer Rodins. And I like her a lot, too, but she gets through life and law school on a merry combination of Catholic guilt, antidepressants, and booze. I've worked very hard to carve out a zone of calm around myself and I have the feeling getting any more into this might jeopardize all that.

    Jacobkosh on
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    JacobkoshJacobkosh Gamble a stamp. I can show you how to be a real man!Moderator mod
    edited September 2007
    Also, Salv, don't sweat it. Until I took out a restraining order on her [1], my mom tried to sit me down for a Serious Conversation about my Sexual Confusion at least once every six months.

    [1] Long story.

    Jacobkosh on
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    Mojo_JojoMojo_Jojo We are only now beginning to understand the full power and ramifications of sexual intercourse Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Myself and a friend started talking to a pair of girls in a pub once. I got to see boobs, my friend got a lengthy lecture on why it's okay for him to be gay. Later we realised there must have been underage as we'd been buying the drinks but they were paying. That was nearly a very sticky situation.

    Mojo_Jojo on
    Homogeneous distribution of your varieties of amuse-gueule
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    MrBallbagginsMrBallbaggins Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Mojo_Jojo wrote: »
    Myself and a friend started talking to a pair of girls in a pub once. I got to see boobs, my friend got a lengthy lecture on why it's okay for him to be gay. Later we realised there must have been underage as we'd been buying the drinks but they were paying. That was nearly a very sticky situation.

    Were the boobs nice, at least?

    And bouncy?

    MrBallbaggins on
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    GimGim a tall glass of water Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    jacobkosh wrote: »
    Jesus god my wrists are killing me. I gave a backrub to this girl tonight and I think I've felt softer Rodins. And I like her a lot, too, but she gets through life and law school on a merry combination of Catholic guilt, antidepressants, and booze. I've worked very hard to carve out a zone of calm around myself and I have the feeling getting any more into this might jeopardize all that.

    So she's like the ultimate 50s Boston housewife?

    Gim on
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    Low KeyLow Key Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Heh, oh nostalgia thread.

    Good times

    Low Key on
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    Salvation122Salvation122 Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    The Cat wrote: »
    So I'm pretty sure my mom thinks I'm gay

    I have developed an elaborate plot that ends with her walking in on me fapping to high-quality lesbian porn

    If nothing else I figure it'll at least get her to shut the fuck up about my sex life

    Didn't she think you were suicidal for buying that threadless tee? I think you're way past the point where its worth giving a shit about her opinions.
    Jesus but you've got a good memory

    But yeah, she did. I wouldn't care except that it's no longer amusing watching her try to dance around my nonexistent homosexuality:

    Mom: "You need to stop smoking. Girls don't like smokers, it's harder to find a date. That is if you want a girlfriend. I'm not trying to pressure you into anything, that's totally your choice and it's up to you and really none of my business."

    Deliberate double-entendre response: "Eh, it's not even the nicotine so much anymore, I just feel weird if I don't have something in my mouth."

    Mom: shifty panic eyes and an abrupt change of topic

    Funny the first dozen times, irritating the rest. Not to mention that it's kinda depressing when your game is so bad your mom has come to the conclusion that you're gay.

    Salvation122 on
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    JacobkoshJacobkosh Gamble a stamp. I can show you how to be a real man!Moderator mod
    edited September 2007
    Gim wrote: »
    jacobkosh wrote: »
    Jesus god my wrists are killing me. I gave a backrub to this girl tonight and I think I've felt softer Rodins. And I like her a lot, too, but she gets through life and law school on a merry combination of Catholic guilt, antidepressants, and booze. I've worked very hard to carve out a zone of calm around myself and I have the feeling getting any more into this might jeopardize all that.

    So she's like the ultimate 50s Boston housewife?

    Yep, gin + valium fizzys and all. It's a shame, because she's really smart and cool, but literally does not know how to relax. At all. Her back needed a fucking jackhammer taken to it. I'm like "take deep breaths and slowly exhale" and she's like "why?"

    Jacobkosh on
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    Salvation122Salvation122 Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    jacobkosh wrote: »
    Also, Salv, don't sweat it. Until I took out a restraining order on her [1], my mom tried to sit me down for a Serious Conversation about my Sexual Confusion at least once every six months.

    [1] Long story.
    My mom is a southern baptist who converted to Catholicism. I guarantee you that even if I were in fact gay, she would never broach that topic unless I did first, and it would probably end in tears.

    Salvation122 on
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    The CatThe Cat Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2007
    *snerk*

    that line is gold, but I can see where it would start to drag after a while. At least my parents knocked off the reproachful are-you-coming-back-to-the-door-knockin'-fold-soon nonsense after a while...

    The Cat on
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    JamesKeenanJamesKeenan Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    You're gonna feel like an ass if you turn out to be gay.

    JamesKeenan on
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    JacobkoshJacobkosh Gamble a stamp. I can show you how to be a real man!Moderator mod
    edited September 2007
    Deliberate double-entendre response: "Eh, it's not even the nicotine so much anymore, I just feel weird if I don't have something in my mouth."

    Mom: shifty panic eyes and an abrupt change of topic

    100% worth it

    Jacobkosh on
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    The CatThe Cat Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2007
    jacobkosh wrote: »
    Also, Salv, don't sweat it. Until I took out a restraining order on her [1], my mom tried to sit me down for a Serious Conversation about my Sexual Confusion at least once every six months.

    [1] Long story.
    My mom is a southern baptist who converted to Catholicism. I guarantee you that even if I were in fact gay, she would never broach that topic unless I did first, and it would probably end in tears.

    So I may be jumping to conclusions here, but would she hilariously overcompensate for ingrained racism if you brought an ethnic chick home? That can be awesome.

    The Cat on
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    JamesKeenanJamesKeenan Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Better yet, starting making friends with a lot of big, black guys specifically. Bring them all over at once, often. Demand privacy.

    JamesKeenan on
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    JacobkoshJacobkosh Gamble a stamp. I can show you how to be a real man!Moderator mod
    edited September 2007
    Jeez, Cat, that's evil genius xtreem. remind me never to get on your bad side.

    Jacobkosh on
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    GimGim a tall glass of water Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    A long day of madness tomorrow and I've been up for too long.

    Nighty night.

    Gim on
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    JacobkoshJacobkosh Gamble a stamp. I can show you how to be a real man!Moderator mod
    edited September 2007
    Have a good one man.

    Jacobkosh on
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    Shazkar ShadowstormShazkar Shadowstorm Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I'm not sleeping tonight. It's 4:20.
    AM!

    I am programming.. badly.
    Now I know why you're supposed to plan shit out before you start coding.

    Shazkar Shadowstorm on
    poo
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    Salvation122Salvation122 Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    The Cat wrote: »
    jacobkosh wrote: »
    Also, Salv, don't sweat it. Until I took out a restraining order on her [1], my mom tried to sit me down for a Serious Conversation about my Sexual Confusion at least once every six months.

    [1] Long story.
    My mom is a southern baptist who converted to Catholicism. I guarantee you that even if I were in fact gay, she would never broach that topic unless I did first, and it would probably end in tears.

    So I may be jumping to conclusions here, but would she hilariously overcompensate for ingrained racism if you brought an ethnic chick home? That can be awesome.
    Eh, I dunno. I think it'd be more that she's like cloyingly polite than anything else, but she's always like that when I first bring girls around the house, so.

    Salvation122 on
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    ElkiElki get busy Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited September 2007
    Low Key wrote: »
    Heh, oh nostalgia thread.

    Good times

    Indeed.

    Elki on
    smCQ5WE.jpg
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    Salvation122Salvation122 Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    The Cat wrote: »
    *snerk*

    that line is gold, but I can see where it would start to drag after a while. At least my parents knocked off the reproachful are-you-coming-back-to-the-door-knockin'-fold-soon nonsense after a while...
    It was really bad for about two months and then I'm pretty sure my dad told her to knock it the fuck off.

    Salvation122 on
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    The CatThe Cat Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2007
    oh man i want to go out and no one else is and i hate going out alone argh

    need more booze

    The Cat on
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    ElkiElki get busy Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited September 2007
    I wonder if we can sacrifice nubs to bring back golden oldies. Worth a shot, is it not?

    Elki on
    smCQ5WE.jpg
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    JacobkoshJacobkosh Gamble a stamp. I can show you how to be a real man!Moderator mod
    edited September 2007
    Who...who did you have in mind?

    Jacobkosh on
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    SamiSami Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    The Cat wrote: »
    oh man i want to go out and no one else is and i hate going out alone argh

    need more booze

    Cat let's stay in and drink together over the internet.

    You.

    Me.

    Cheeks stained with the bitter tears of loneliness and shame.

    Sami on
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    ElkiElki get busy Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited September 2007
    The Cat wrote: »
    oh man i want to go out and no one else is and i hate going out alone argh

    need more booze

    I thought none of my friends wanted to do anything, so I went back home for today, and once I'm an hour away I start getting calls because they want to go out. Jerks.

    Elki on
    smCQ5WE.jpg
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    ElkiElki get busy Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited September 2007
    jacobkosh wrote: »
    Who...who did you have in mind?

    Not one of my favorites. :o

    The chat thread is full of them, though. Full!

    Elki on
    smCQ5WE.jpg
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    ElkiElki get busy Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited September 2007
    Damn, it's almost four; I should get to bed.

    Elki on
    smCQ5WE.jpg
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    Shazkar ShadowstormShazkar Shadowstorm Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    more like its 5:15AM

    Shazkar Shadowstorm on
    poo
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    Low KeyLow Key Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    The Cat wrote: »
    oh man i want to go out and no one else is and i hate going out alone argh

    need more booze

    Come out to radelaide. We're having a party.

    Low Key on
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    LindenLinden Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Elki wrote: »
    I wonder if we can sacrifice nubs to bring back golden oldies. Worth a shot, is it not?

    D:

    Linden on
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    The CatThe Cat Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2007
    Low Key wrote: »
    The Cat wrote: »
    oh man i want to go out and no one else is and i hate going out alone argh

    need more booze

    Come out to radelaide. We're having a party.

    Is it a toga party? cos i got one of those tomorrow and i don't want to miss it

    i have more booze, and it turns out i make a rad nicoise salad

    go me

    The Cat on
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    Low KeyLow Key Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I went to a toga party once. The togas did not last long. They are a bitch to keep on.

    Have you heard of the Paper Scissors carts?

    Low Key on
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    Shazkar ShadowstormShazkar Shadowstorm Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Am I the only person in my time zone around
    cuz that would make sense

    Shazkar Shadowstorm on
    poo
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    The CatThe Cat Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2007
    Low Key wrote: »
    I went to a toga party once. The togas did not last long. They are a bitch to keep on.

    Have you heard of the Paper Scissors carts?

    I have not, but i am pale and squinty and socially isolated due to my long long days in the lab. are tehy good?

    and don't say that about the toga, now i'm even more paranoid about boobful shots of me turning up on facebook :P

    The Cat on
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