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Mormons are fucking prompt

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    HarrierHarrier The Star Spangled Man Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    lostwords wrote: »
    some of the mormon ladies i encountered in high school were pretty smoking hot though, to be fair. and all of them married by the time they were 19 and started popping out kids asap.
    so then they turn into milfs

    Harrier on
    I don't wanna kill anybody. I don't like bullies. I don't care where they're from.
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    QuirkQuirk Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Quirk wrote: »
    The Jehova's witnesses who bother me on occasion have got wise to my tendency to slam doors on people and have started sending round the combination of old women who remind me of my nan and small children, who I feel too bad to slam the door on most of the time.

    Crafty bastards

    Tell them you'll call the cops if they keep on harassing you. Worked for me.

    Mostly I figure that this way is more work for them, plus they only come round once every couple of months. Also that seems like a bit of an overreaction, they are WAY less annoying than fucking cold callers and their ilk

    Quirk on
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    FlyingmanFlyingman Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Quirk wrote: »
    Quirk wrote: »
    The Jehova's witnesses who bother me on occasion have got wise to my tendency to slam doors on people and have started sending round the combination of old women who remind me of my nan and small children, who I feel too bad to slam the door on most of the time.

    Crafty bastards

    Tell them you'll call the cops if they keep on harassing you. Worked for me.

    Mostly I figure that this way is more work for them, plus they only come round once every couple of months. Also that seems like a bit of an overreaction, they are WAY less annoying than fucking cold callers and their ilk

    See, in Australia, it's illegal for those faggots to call you unless you are on a list.

    Flyingman on
    PAsig-1.gif
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    QuirkQuirk Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Flyingman wrote: »
    Quirk wrote: »
    Quirk wrote: »
    The Jehova's witnesses who bother me on occasion have got wise to my tendency to slam doors on people and have started sending round the combination of old women who remind me of my nan and small children, who I feel too bad to slam the door on most of the time.

    Crafty bastards

    Tell them you'll call the cops if they keep on harassing you. Worked for me.

    Mostly I figure that this way is more work for them, plus they only come round once every couple of months. Also that seems like a bit of an overreaction, they are WAY less annoying than fucking cold callers and their ilk

    See, in Australia, it's illegal for those faggots to call you unless you are on a list.

    I'm fairly sure that's meant to be the case here as well, but it stops nothing

    Quirk on
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    Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    my friend brought his church group around trying to get me to go to church with him.

    i didn't want to let them in the house because it was a mess but instead we all stood outside while they were talking to me and the mosquitos were eating them up because they were wearing shorts and i was wearing jeans and i was like "oh yes, yes" and the pastor or whatever was like "well you have very interesting views on the lord and i think you should come to church and get them straightened out" and i was like "yeah, sometime, boss."

    the next day at school everybody heard ole DL refused to let his buddies' church group in cause he was drinking beer and blah blah blah.

    what a bunch of fags

    Dead Legend on
    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
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    FlyingmanFlyingman Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    My school was weird as fuck, all the good Christian kids were popular and shit. Everyone that took up smoking, drinking and general tomfoolery was an outcast.

    True story.

    Flyingman on
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    redfenixredfenix Aka'd as rfix Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Monkeyfeet wrote: »
    You have created 115 threads. Who do you think you are? Shoe?

    apparently i've made 144

    redfenix on
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    Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    also if anybody has the other part of the red phone to a supreme being, i would like for you to ask why they ripped off my grandma's roof with powerful winds several nights before she's going in to get her cancer operated on again and the insurance company proves they're the fucking devil and say people in oklahoma who lost their homes to tornadoes are more important

    and with that said i'm going to austin to spend time with my mom waiting on my grandma's surgery.

    Dead Legend on
    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    MY GOD HAS A HAMMER

    Weaver on
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    MrMonroeMrMonroe passed out on the floor nowRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    "more important?"

    It doesn't fucking matter what other people's problems are. If your shit is insured you gotta get that paper

    MrMonroe on
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    Run Run RunRun Run Run __BANNED USERS regular
    edited February 2009
    Late punishment for sins committed in the womb. God was busy and only just caught up.

    Run Run Run on
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    Lucky CynicLucky Cynic Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    and then the next table in the hall way we have some environmentalist kids who are handing out condoms because having "Unnecessary children leads to additional consumption and pollution."
    .

    That's pretty awesome. Not the environmental part, but people passing out free condoms. Nice kids.

    Oh that's nothing actually. The environmentalists only did it like twice. There is this HIV awareness group that does it like once a week. 8-)

    Lucky Cynic on
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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I first read the thread title as "morons are fucking prompt" but hey it works either way

    Weaver on
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    Run Run RunRun Run Run __BANNED USERS regular
    edited February 2009
    Oh that's nothing actually. The environmentalists only did it like twice. There is this HIV awareness group that does it like once a week. 8-)

    Your school seems to be pretty awesome. :^:

    Run Run Run on
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    SomestickguySomestickguy Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Huh.

    I would have thought someone might have claimed that Jesus lives on mars or something by now.

    To be honest I'm kind of dissapointed. :)

    Somestickguy on
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    ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I should go to grad school at Brigham Young and swipe me a 19-year-old wife. My apartment is a mess.

    Butters on
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    Fire TruckFire Truck I love my SELFRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Man, I like mormons. Some of my best friends in high school were latter-day saints. And one time, my sister and her husband were painting their house when two mormon missionaries showed up. She exasperatedly said she didn't have time to talk about anything, since she was painting. The mormons said alright and left. The next day they showed back up in work clothes with paint and brushes and helped her finish the job, free of charge.

    They didn't even try to convert her or anything.

    Fire Truck on
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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    celestial marriage

    Weaver on
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    ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I really don't like Mormons but that was awfully nice of them. Why didn't Jehova's witnesses that showed up when I was paining my dad's house lend me a hand? Fucking assholes.

    Butters on
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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    My step-sons biological father claims to be a jehovah witness and that dude is always losing jobs and being way behind on child support.

    Weaver on
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    Darkness MundusDarkness Mundus Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I only new two mormons in high school
    One was a girl, and the other was a guy who went mormon to try to score that ass (he failed)

    That's the extent of my mormon experiences.

    Darkness Mundus on
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    KrunkMcGrunkKrunkMcGrunk Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Fact: Prince is a Jehova's witness. As part of his religious contract, he has to go door-to-door and convert people, just like everyone else. He brings two body guards with him.

    KrunkMcGrunk on
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    NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I always talk to them and offer them some water or something, because they are walking around all day, mostly getting doors slammed on them by assholes.

    But I also explain my perspective on things and put it in the plainest terms possible that I don't believe in what they would like me to believe in. If you explain it logically, it makes sense to most people. "To join your church, I would have to believe that what is written in the Book of Mormon is true, correct? Ok, well, I don't meet that pre-req, would you like some orange juice?"

    NotASenator on
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    SomestickguySomestickguy Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Wasn't MJ a Jehovas witness?

    Somestickguy on
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    ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Fact: Prince is a Jehova's witness. As part of his religious contract, he has to go door-to-door and convert people, just like everyone else. He brings two body guards with him.

    Don't forget two chicks named Diamond and Pearl.

    Butters on
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    ObiFettObiFett Use the Force As You WishRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    NotACrook wrote: »
    I always talk to them and offer them some water or something, because they are walking around all day, mostly getting doors slammed on them by assholes.

    But I also explain my perspective on things and put it in the plainest terms possible that I don't believe in what they would like me to believe in. If you explain it logically, it makes sense to most people. "To join your church, I would have to believe that what is written in the Book of Mormon is true, correct? Ok, well, I don't meet that pre-req, would you like some orange juice?"


    Being LDS myself and having been "one of those guys in ties", I can attest that this is a quality way to handle this situation. Cuz honestly if someone says the above, there's not too much else to say seeing as they already know about the Book of Mormon and have apparently tried to figure out if its true or not. Game. Set. Match.

    ObiFett on
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    MeizMeiz Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    NotACrook wrote: »
    I always talk to them and offer them some water or something, because they are walking around all day, mostly getting doors slammed on them by assholes.

    But I also explain my perspective on things and put it in the plainest terms possible that I don't believe in what they would like me to believe in. If you explain it logically, it makes sense to most people. "To join your church, I would have to believe that what is written in the Book of Mormon is true, correct? Ok, well, I don't meet that pre-req, would you like some orange juice?"

    Why not offer them something usefull like clozapine.

    Meiz on
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    Dublo7Dublo7 Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Wait

    you're not talking about the band, Lamb of God, right?

    Dublo7 on
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    FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    No I am talking about a DVD the church of latter day saints will send ya

    Fandyien on
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    Dublo7Dublo7 Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I'm still at a loss as to why the fuck you ordered the DVD. Unless of course, you are a mormon.

    Man, I'm so confused. I should go to bed.

    Dublo7 on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    Wrench N RocketsWrench N Rockets Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    A friend and I have both have/had Mormon roommates. Last time he was in town we compared or respective Mormons.

    Mine basically subsisted on only Cottage cheese and Salsa, though that probably had less to do with him being a Mormon then him just being an idiot.

    Wrench N Rockets on
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    DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    My personal experience: Stay the fuck away from Mormonism. Unless you like large, organized cults. Sorry if I offend other Mormons out there, but I'm one of you until I send in my fucking papers or find a cool way to get excommunicated.

    Doobh on
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    WezoinWezoin Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Everytime Jehovah's witnesses come to my door and ask to speak to my mom or dad I say "sorry, my dad is busy taking care of my mom, she just had a blood transfusion" and it usually gets rid of 'em quick smart. Apparently their religion is opposed to medical procedures or something.

    Wezoin on
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    ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Dublo7 wrote: »
    I'm still at a loss as to why the fuck you ordered the DVD. Unless of course, you are a mormon.

    Man, I'm so confused. I should go to bed.

    He was high.

    Butters on
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    Dublo7Dublo7 Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    aaaahh.

    Now it all makes sense.

    Dublo7 on
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    FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    do mormons have orgies

    Faricazy on
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    FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I didn't order the DVD, my jackass friend did.

    CAN'T YOU PEOPLE READ

    Fandyien on
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    ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Faricazy wrote: »
    do mormons have orgies

    No they just assign a different adolescent wife a day of the week for banging.

    Butters on
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    NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    ObiFett wrote: »
    NotACrook wrote: »
    I always talk to them and offer them some water or something, because they are walking around all day, mostly getting doors slammed on them by assholes.

    But I also explain my perspective on things and put it in the plainest terms possible that I don't believe in what they would like me to believe in. If you explain it logically, it makes sense to most people. "To join your church, I would have to believe that what is written in the Book of Mormon is true, correct? Ok, well, I don't meet that pre-req, would you like some orange juice?"


    Being LDS myself and having been "one of those guys in ties", I can attest that this is a quality way to handle this situation. Cuz honestly if someone says the above, there's not too much else to say seeing as they already know about the Book of Mormon and have apparently tried to figure out if its true or not. Game. Set. Match.

    My dad had a crisis of faith for a while and converted. I took in all of it I could, learned everything about it and in the end didn't believe a word of it.

    So, yeah, I don't want to waste their time, but I don't think that gives me any cause to be rude.

    NotASenator on
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    NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Butters wrote: »
    Faricazy wrote: »
    do mormons have orgies

    No they just assign a different adolescent wife a day of the week for banging.

    In this way, it's actually like a really slow, drawn-out orgy.

    NotASenator on
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