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Mormons are fucking prompt

FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
edited February 2009 in Social Entropy++
So yesterday at like 1:00 in the afternoon my friend and I check his mail, and he got this Lamb of God DVD he ordered from a mormon infomercial late at night

We call the number in the packet to ask for a free book of mormon, have a nice long conversation with the hip mormon operator who is all using young people slang and stuff. "God is sweet, dude!" so anyway he says something about how there are mormons in our area and he'll send them over with the bible sometime this week.

So we forget about it, our buddy comes over with two cases of pbr, and my two friends proceed to drink like ten beers each at 3:00 in the afternoon. they continue drinking until like 7:00, at this point we've just gotten some pot and completely forgotten about the mormons, and then comes a knock, a rat-tat-tat-tat at my chamber door

And so I open the door with a cigarette hanging out of my mouth, and there are those motherfuckers, with a book of mormon, three of 'em all dressed up and trying to save us

Everyone behind me sort of scrambles to drunkenly hide sketchy things while the mormon and i stare at each other

They're coming back tonight to talk more

Apparently if you call salt lake city you can have a crack squad of mormons at your door in less then six hours

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Fandyien on
«13456762

Posts

  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    great, now they know where you live and will keep perstering you till you convert or die. enjoy that.

    lostwords on
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  • Bloods EndBloods End Blade of Tyshalle Punch dimensionRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    So what you are saying is that you have nothing better to do than get plastered at 3 in the afternoon.

    Bloods End on
  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I would appreciate it if you would make the daily Fandy thread a little earlier.

    I can't really function when I get to work until I read whatever it is you feel the need to start a new thread about every morning.

    NotASenator on
  • MonkeyfeetMonkeyfeet Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    PBR. Sweet dude

    Monkeyfeet on
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  • Lucky CynicLucky Cynic Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Fandyien wrote: »
    Apparently if you call salt lake city you can have a crack squad of mormons at your door in less then six hours

    They are like plumbers.


    This time refuse to put on pants.

    Lucky Cynic on
  • FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I wasn't drinking

    Fandyien on
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  • FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    NotACrook wrote: »
    I would appreciate it if you would make the daily Fandy thread a little earlier.

    I can't really function when I get to work until I read whatever it is you feel the need to start a new thread about every morning.

    Man it has been several days since I made a thread

    Fandyien on
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  • sponospono Mining for Nose Diamonds Booger CoveRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM :whistle:

    spono on
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  • SomestickguySomestickguy Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Did somebody say Mormon?

    Somestickguy on
  • MonkeyfeetMonkeyfeet Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    So what happened to me this morning was I went to work and mentioned how my throat felt a little sore and they sent me home. It might be the bird flu so better not take any chances

    Monkeyfeet on
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  • Run Run RunRun Run Run __BANNED USERS regular
    edited February 2009
    Fandyien wrote: »
    So yesterday at like 1:00 in the afternoon my friend and I check his mail, and he got this Lamb of God DVD he ordered from a mormon infomercial late at night

    We call the number in the packet to ask for a free book of mormon, ...

    Why would you do such things? No good can come from it.

    Run Run Run on
    kissing.jpg
  • Run Run RunRun Run Run __BANNED USERS regular
    edited February 2009
    lostwords wrote: »
    great, now they know where you live and will keep perstering you till you convert or die. enjoy that.

    Also this. What the hell were you guys thinking?

    Run Run Run on
    kissing.jpg
  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    this morning, i locked my keys in my car, with the engine running, and had to call triple a. i felt like a dumbass

    lostwords on
    rat.jpg tumbler? steam/ps3 thingie: lostwords Amazon Wishlist!
  • MonkeyfeetMonkeyfeet Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    You have created 115 threads. Who do you think you are? Shoe?

    Monkeyfeet on
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  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    No, you don't understand, Fandy.

    I'm saying you should create more threads.

    Whenever you want to post, instead of replying, just start a new thread.

    NotASenator on
  • Lucky CynicLucky Cynic Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    lostwords wrote: »
    this morning, i locked my keys in my car, with the engine running, and had to call triple a. i felt like a dumbass

    Did the guy give you a look too?

    Lucky Cynic on
  • FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    itt people don't like this thread

    Fandyien on
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  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    lostwords wrote: »
    this morning, i locked my keys in my car, with the engine running, and had to call triple a. i felt like a dumbass

    Did the guy give you a look too?

    who cares? just open my door, jerk

    lostwords on
    rat.jpg tumbler? steam/ps3 thingie: lostwords Amazon Wishlist!
  • SomestickguySomestickguy Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Fandyien wrote: »
    itt people don't like this thread

    Actually I'm kind of intrigued

    Somestickguy on
  • FlyingmanFlyingman Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Fandyien wrote: »
    So yesterday at like 1:00 in the afternoon my friend and I check his mail, and he got this Lamb of God DVD he ordered from a mormon infomercial late at night

    We call the number in the packet to ask for a free book of mormon, have a nice long conversation with the hip mormon operator who is all using young people slang and stuff. "God is sweet, dude!" so anyway he says something about how there are mormons in our area and he'll send them over with the bible sometime this week.

    So we forget about it, our buddy comes over with two cases of pbr, and my two friends proceed to drink like ten beers each at 3:00 in the afternoon. they continue drinking until like 7:00, at this point we've just gotten some pot and completely forgotten about the mormons, and then comes a knock, a rat-tat-tat-tat at my chamber door

    And so I open the door with a cigarette hanging out of my mouth, and there are those motherfuckers, with a book of mormon, three of 'em all dressed up and trying to save us

    Everyone behind me sort of scrambles to drunkenly hide sketchy things while the mormon and i stare at each other

    They're coming back tonight to talk more

    Apparently if you call salt lake city you can have a crack squad of mormons at your door in less then six hours

    Man, you would love Australia. Flyingman's typical day itt

    Flyingman on
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  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Don't be ridiculous.

    Nobody loves Australia.

    NotASenator on
  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Ho! Ho! Ho! Drink Coke!Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    spono wrote: »
    DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM :whistle:

    Tell us more about the story of Joseph Smith!

    Centipede Damascus on
  • FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Two of my brothers friends in high school tried to do this same thing and both ended up getting converted

    Fandyien on
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  • MeizMeiz Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I hate Illinois nazisImean Mormons.

    Meiz on
  • Lucky CynicLucky Cynic Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    NotACrook wrote: »
    Don't be ridiculous.

    Nobody loves Australia.

    Man not even Australians are living in Australia.

    Lucky Cynic on
  • Lucky CynicLucky Cynic Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Fandyien wrote: »
    Two of my brothers friends in high school tried to do this same thing and both ended up getting converted

    That's like playing with a lighter/matches and then burning down the house.

    Lucky Cynic on
  • trentsteeltrentsteel Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    These fucking guys would NOT leave me alone. Eventually they told us they were bringing in a 'specialist' that 'specialized' in talking to people like us.

    People like us being hip, intelligent cats I guess. That's when I put a stop to it.

    trentsteel on
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    I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!

  • Serenity RoseSerenity Rose Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited February 2009
    Some Mormons came to my apt a couple of weeks ago. I pretended I wasn't there but was looking out my peephole the entire time. They were actually kinda cute but I dare not let them in. They attached to the door under the clippy thing the apt mgr put up to leave notes and such on, a little post card thing with some huge Mormon church on it with preachy stuff on the back. I have not taken it down. I leave it there so next time they come by, they will just think no one lives there.

    Serenity Rose on
    I'm not a narcissist. I simply like to watch myself exist.
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  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    some of the mormon ladies i encountered in high school were pretty smoking hot though, to be fair. and all of them married by the time they were 19 and started popping out kids asap.

    lostwords on
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  • MrMonroeMrMonroe passed out on the floor nowRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Fandyien wrote: »
    Two of my brothers friends in high school tried to do this same thing and both ended up getting converted

    That's like playing with a lighter/matches and then burning down the house.

    more like playing with matches and then burning yourself down.

    MrMonroe on
  • MrMonroeMrMonroe passed out on the floor nowRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    lostwords wrote: »
    some of the mormon ladies i encountered in high school were pretty smoking hot though, to be fair. and all of them married by the time they were 19 and started popping out kids asap.

    that's such a fucking shame

    MrMonroe on
  • trentsteeltrentsteel Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Some Mormons came to my apt a couple of weeks ago. I pretended I wasn't there but was looking out my peephole the entire time. They were actually kinda cute but I dare not let them in. They attached to the door under the clippy thing the apt mgr put up to leave notes and such on, a little post card thing with some huge Mormon church on it with preachy stuff on the back. I have not taken it down. I leave it there so next time they come by, they will just think no one lives there.

    Hmm. Not a bad idea.

    trentsteel on
    http://www.botsnthings.com/
    I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!

  • MeizMeiz Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    lostwords wrote: »
    some of the mormon ladies i encountered in high school were pretty smoking hot though, to be fair. and all of them married by the time they were 19 and started popping out kids asap.

    I hate sheeple.

    Meiz on
  • Lucky CynicLucky Cynic Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    lostwords wrote: »
    some of the mormon ladies i encountered in high school were pretty smoking hot though, to be fair. and all of them married by the time they were 19 and started popping out kids asap.

    That's how most religions get the ball rolling. If each family consists of 10 children, then they'd get numbers to reckon with soon enough.


    My community college is actually pretty fucking awesome actually. On one table we have Mormons or whatever and then the next table in the hall way we have some environmentalist kids who are handing out condoms because having "Unnecessary children leads to additional consumption and pollution."


    Tell me that's not fucked up.

    Lucky Cynic on
  • MrMonroeMrMonroe passed out on the floor nowRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Fucked up?

    That's wonderful

    MrMonroe on
  • FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    that is not particularly fucked up

    Fandyien on
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  • QuirkQuirk Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    The Jehova's witnesses who bother me on occasion have got wise to my tendency to slam doors on people and have started sending round the combination of old women who remind me of my nan and small children, who I feel too bad to slam the door on most of the time.

    Crafty bastards

    Quirk on
  • Run Run RunRun Run Run __BANNED USERS regular
    edited February 2009
    and then the next table in the hall way we have some environmentalist kids who are handing out condoms because having "Unnecessary children leads to additional consumption and pollution."
    .

    That's pretty awesome. Not the environmental part, but people passing out free condoms. Nice kids.

    Run Run Run on
    kissing.jpg
  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Ho! Ho! Ho! Drink Coke!Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Meiz wrote: »
    lostwords wrote: »
    some of the mormon ladies i encountered in high school were pretty smoking hot though, to be fair. and all of them married by the time they were 19 and started popping out kids asap.

    I hate sheeple.

    ahahahahaha

    Centipede Damascus on
  • Run Run RunRun Run Run __BANNED USERS regular
    edited February 2009
    Quirk wrote: »
    The Jehova's witnesses who bother me on occasion have got wise to my tendency to slam doors on people and have started sending round the combination of old women who remind me of my nan and small children, who I feel too bad to slam the door on most of the time.

    Crafty bastards

    Tell them you'll call the cops if they keep on harassing you. Worked for me.

    Run Run Run on
    kissing.jpg
This discussion has been closed.