Making cats get along

Bionic Monkey

She's quite young, probably only three or four months old, and fairly skinny, but that may just be because she's still a kitten. We're not really sure if she's a stray, or she just came to visit us, though she wolfed down some food we put out for her, and seems to have a respiratory infection (she snores quite loudly when sleeping, and we can hear some congestion while breathing).

We're keeping her outside for now, in case she runs off home, but have provided some food and water, and a carrying case with the door off and a blanket for her to sleep in. If she's still hanging around in a couple days, we'll put up some flyers around the neighborhood, and if we don't get any bites, then I guess she'll be ours.

The issue, if she does end up staying, is our other cat. He's been a single indoor cat for the last five years, so he's not all that great at socializing. That said, he wasn't aggressive at all towards her today, but kept his distance, and wouldn't stop staring at her. He's also been acting especially cold towards us, though we've been trying to show him quite a bit of attention while the kitten was around. He'll barely let me pet him, but he's completely ignoring my wife, and will slink away if she tries to pet him. I'm hoping this will pass as he gets used to the new cat, but would appreciate any perspective from people that have gone through similar situations.

And yes, it's a cat thread, and I know the rules.

TLDR Version: How do I make my current, indoor-only cat get along with potential outdoor-most-times cat?

UPDATE
Alright, so we kept the kitten outdoors for about a week, then ended up taking her to the vet, and checked out. Got some meds to take care of the cold she has, and got the okay to bring her inside.

We've been letting her have free roam when one of us is home, but locking her up in the spare bedroom when we're sleeping, or when we're at work (except for Friday, when she somehow managed to get out). She and the other cat seem to actually be getting along surprisingly well. They play quite a bit, and being that he's much, much larger than she is (he's a Maine Coon), usually backs off before it escalates to actual violence.

He is showing some behavior that I assume is trying to establish dominance. He'll start cleaning her back, then will bite down on her. We've been stopping this and seperating them as soon as we see it, but aren't really all that sure just how concerned we should really be about it.

I am happy to say he's stopped giving us the cold shoulder now though. All in all, he's handled the transition much, much better than either of us expected, and we've been trying to show him a lot of affection during the transition.

Also, new pic:

Buttcleft

If it is indeed a stray, I'd be careful of introducing parasites or disease form it to your other cat, even second hand.

Bionic Monkey

Yeah, disease is a concern and parasites are a concern. If we do end up keeping her, the first thing we'll be doing is introducing her to the vet.

FightTest

Make sure you wash up after handling the stray and do not let it interact with your other cat or use its food/water dishes. Stray kitten is adorable but your responsibility is to your existing cat and his health. Strays can have all sorts of contagious, fatal diseases and they're more easily passed on than human counterparts.

The sooner you make a choice and either get the kitten to the vet or sever ties the better.

ManonvonSuperock

once you get the stray doctored up, the generally accepted way of introducing a new cat to an old cat's environment is to lock the new cat in a room adjacent to a room the old cat is in for a few days. They will interact with each other through the crack under the door. After a few days, swap the rooms the cats are in, and they will get accustomed to each other's smells. After a few days of that, let them both have full reign of the area.

An older, cranky cat, and younger playful one will have some animosity between them anyway. According to our vet, there was no reason for us to break them up or be concerned unless it gets to the point of bloodshed. After a few weeks/months, they'll be fine.

KafkaAU

We recently adopted a new kitten to keep our previously outdoors-during-the-daytime-cat who became an indoors-all-the-time-cat company. We did the room thing for about 1 hr, with the kitten in the room first to get used to the smell of the other cat, then switched around. After they were in the same area there was a bit of hissing etc, and a few bites and scratches, but after a couple of days they were fine. I would also pat the new cat and get the smell on my hands then wipe it on my older cat, who would then hiss and bite at me, so I'm not sure if that was actually useful. Our older cat was similar to yours, previously quite friendly and always near us to sitting at a distance and no longer sleeping on the end of the bed. After a few days that was fixed though.

Cimmerii

It's generally recommended that you keep the new kitten in quarantine for a bit, when you know the new kitty has no transferable diseases switch bedding and stuff around. Make sure you don't stick new kitty in the current kitty's favoritest room. You may end up having to maintain separate litter boxes and so on.

Whatever you do, spend lots of time on your current kitty, even if he's pissy make him feel loved!

Also, you can use catnip on your cat, if it works on him. Lowering inhibitions and so on. :P

ascannerlightly

that's downright creepy. the cat in the first picture looks exactly like my current cat.

it's been my experience that you can't make cats get along. much like people, they'll like each other or they won't. when i was a kid i had a siamese that we nabbed as a stray at my grandmother's house. after we'd had her a few years i got to the age where i could have a pet of my own, and got a tuxedo cat from the local pound. while they eventually realized the other wasn't going away and the hostilities died down to a minimum, they never really became friends. we tried making them share a litter box, share a food bowl, etc. the siamese always seemed to hold a grudge against us after we brought in cat # 2, like she was being replaced by a newer model.

SwashbucklerXX

If you do the separate rooms introduction as detailed above, take it slowly, separate them quickly if they have a serious confrontation (not hissing or a bit of swatting, but really fighting), etc., the cats should at least learn to tolerate each other. They may or may not become good friends with time, so don't worry if they never get to the point where they're curling up together to sleep. If your current cat is more closely bonded to one member of your household, try having someone else spend the most time with the new cat as she adjusts to the household, so that they have different "primary" people. That's helped a lot to keep our cats (who have very different tempraments and will never be best buddies) from getting too jealous of each other.

Bionic Monkey

Alright, so we kept the kitten outdoors for about a week, then ended up taking her to the vet, and checked out. Got some meds to take care of the cold she has, and got the okay to bring her inside.

We've been letting her have free roam when one of us is home, but locking her up in the spare bedroom when we're sleeping, or when we're at work (except for Friday, when she somehow managed to get out). She and the other cat seem to actually be getting along surprisingly well. They play quite a bit, and being that he's much, much larger than she is (he's a Maine Coon), usually backs off before it escalates to actual violence.

He is showing some behavior that I assume is trying to establish dominance. He'll start cleaning her back, then will bite down on her. We've been stopping this and seperating them as soon as we see it, but aren't really all that sure just how concerned we should really be about it.

I am happy to say he's stopped giving us the cold shoulder now though. All in all, he's handled the transition much, much better than either of us expected, and we've been trying to show him a lot of affection during the transition.

Also, new pic:

Kalkino

Your Maine Coon is quite the handsome devil

ricko

edit: it's been solved...i should have read the thread. >.<

Bionic Monkey

ricko wrote: »

edit: it's been solved...i should have read the thread. >.<

I could still use any advice on the dominance behaviors the older cat it showing.

SkyCaptain

Eh, it's fine as long as he doesn't draw blood. imo. Though I'm no cat expert. Just personal experience.

Inquisitor77

It's fine. Cats play quite roughly. If he hurts the other cat, she'll let him know real quick, either by freaking out and running away or screeching/hissing and fighting back.

My cats would basically pretend to claw the shit out of each other without actually drawing any blood or doing any real damage. Then they'd sit down and lick each other when they got tired.

Bionic Monkey

There is occasionally some hissing and laid back ears from the kitten when the older cat will get her cornered. Could this still be play behavior?

SkyCaptain

Have you never owned two cats at once? They love to fight and wrestle. My parents two cats will grab each other by the neck and smack the crap out of the other cats head with their back paws.

Bionic Monkey

SkyCaptain wrote: »

Have you never owned two cats at once? They love to fight and wrestle. My parents two cats will grab each other by the neck and smack the crap out of the other cats head with their back paws.

I really haven't. It's a brand new experience for me. And under normal circumstances, I'd let them go at it, and let god sort 'em out, but when there's a 21.5 pound difference between the two animals, I just want to make sure she survives to adulthood.

SkyCaptain

I wouldn't worry so much. If she were a really tiny kitten then yeah, but she looks like she's at least three to five months old. She also looks like my two kittens I just got yesterday. Twins from the same litter. There is only one tiny difference in their markings that are easily noticeable. I have trouble telling them apart and they're too young for collars just yet.

SkyCaptain

Kitties! Athena and Artemis are their names.

Inquisitor77

If it's a permanent thing, as in the larger cat always attacks the younger one, and the younger one always hides/runs/hisses at the older cat, then it might be an issue. But if it's just the occasional thing, and they do stuff like cuddle together or groom each other, then it's not a problem at all.

fadingathedges

One thing I'd recommend is a product called Feliway (sp?), it's a little pricey but you can get it at most pet stores. There is a spray, the plug-in thingy is what I'd suggest. It puts a smell in your house that makes it smell to your cats like they have rubbed their face on everything, i.e. marked as friendly space. It's great for calming cats in general - especially in new situations like a new animal or a new house. Helps with cats who tend to pee in places you don't want them to as well.

Humans can't smell it (at least I never have) and 1 plug-in per floor will last you a good many weeks without needing a refill. In general, we didn't ever need refills - everything was familiar to everybody by the time it ran out.

Deathwing

I could still use any advice on the dominance behaviors the older cat it showing.

As has been said somewhat, there's not a whole lot you can force there - they have to work it out for themselves. As long as they're not actually slashing eachother, they'll be okay, you can always step in and separate them by loudly clapping your hands or somesuch.

Our house has sort of the opposite age situation - a large, younger male cat, and a smaller, older female. Every once in a while they'll have rolling wrestling matches with lots of hissing and bunny-kicking of heads, but generally there's plenty of space, and we even catch them cuddling or cleaning eachother sometimes when they think we're not looking.

The boy will sometimes do the same thing with deciding to chomp down while cleaning, but usually our girl reacts with "WTF, you're annoying" and runs away rather than being submissive - I have a feeling the kitten will probably show more independence in that situation as she gets older, unless the older cat gets exceptionally mean, which it sounds like he's not. The Feliway definitely couldn't hurt to try, we use one of the diffusers from time to time, and it does seem to smooth things out a bit.

Our kittahs:

They're Siberians - like Maine Coons, except (obviously) Russian, and somewhat shorter & stockier.

Nikki -



Tasha -



Momentarily getting along -

Asiina

My cats play together all the time. I usually break it up if one starts hissing. A few differences between playing and fighting

a) Playing cats don't usually hiss, only when one goes too far.
b) They'll almost never draw blood while playing.
c) The chaser and chasee will change. If you notice your older cat is always "winning" these fights or at least always the one instigating them, then that might be bullying instead of playing.

Other than that, it's kinda hard to tell the difference. My cats absolutely love each other and one will still tackle the other and give him some kicks to the head while holding him down. Cats play rough.

Blake T

Cats play rough as someone pointed out.

When they start growling they are usually trying to assert dominance. Keep in mind this isn't a bad thing, there is alway one dominate person in every relationship.

The biting is fine as long of the smaller cat doesn't yowl. The yowling is basically them saying back off I'm not having fun and if they don't stop clap your hands to break it up or move in if it is still going on.