Introverts at PAX?

baratron

PAX was unbelievably awesome and I definitely have to go again next year. As an extrovert, I love being surrounded by the energy of huge crowds and being able to chat to new people. But I think for the best experience, I'd like to persuade some of my friends to come over with me. The problem is, all of my local geek friends are introverted, meaning that they lose energy when they have to deal with other people.

How exactly do you convince introverted geeks that being in a crowd of 75,000 is a good thing?

FuriousJodo

Tell them they get to play a bunch of unreleased video games and that they get a bunch of free stuff.

angiek47

IMHO, I'd assure them that they'll all know at least each other so if they're not quite up to chatting with strangers then they'll have a built in network. Also, let them know that if the crowds ever get to be too much that you'll help them find quite places to chill and recover. (Also, be willing to go with them, even if it means missing a bit of swag or playing a game at that particular moment.) For me, as an introverted person, being able to find breathing room is important. And the only reason why I can come to PAX now is because I bring my husband with me. This year I talked to more people but I still needed the "safety" of knowing at least one other person in the room.

It's terrifying to talk to new people in that kind of environment, but in the two years I've been to PAX I've not met any true jerks. Everyone seems willing to at least say "hello".

PikaPuff

they're all as introverted as [you], so no worries about talking to anyone.

Azio

BYOC is great for chilling out when you need to recharge your social batteries. And it's a safe place to drop off your stuff so you don't have to carry it everywhere. It's like a quiet little gated community for PC gamers, safely and secretly hidden away at the top of our glorious mount.

Suzaku

I think the fact that PAX is full of a bunch of other geeks probably gives them a chance to come out of their shell a bit.

Royale Wih Cheese

Suzaku wrote: »

I think the fact that PAX is full of a bunch of other geeks probably gives them a chance to come out of their shell a bit.

This is not totally unrelated to being an introvert/extrovert, but your name makes me think of Eureka Seven endings, which is completely awesome :-) Was that the intent?

Suzaku

Actually, I got it from a character from Tenchu 2, years ago.

Every time a new character named Suzaku shows up in an anime or video game (which is fairly often), I always get asked about it. =P

Royale Wih Cheese

Lol, fair enough :-) I guess Eureka Seven is about that old now, 2 or 3 years, and they'd say it at the end of every episode . . . come to think of it, it was more like "suzuku" than with an "a". No idea what the difference is, but definitely a cool forum name!

Ticaldfjam

Your friend's would've fit right in and been comfortable within the first 30 mins being at PAX. That was my impression when I went on Friday. I was able to smile and say hello to a wide range of people with similar interests as our own. Cosplayers welcomed pictures when asked politely if they would like a picture to be taken of them. Most of the people were receptive if you looked them in the eyes and said "Hi".


Now meeting people outside of PAX..different story. I was at the Cheescake Factory eating at the bar area when four women came up and asked if they could sit with me. I was like Weee, extrovert time8-). As soon as I inquired to them about PAX and showed them my badge they immediately thought; "Oh cool, a nice nerd we can try and pry a free meal off of". Little did they know that I caught on to what they were up to and I loudly exclaimed to the waiter "I'll take one more beer for the road and close MY tab". They shortly then jetted off snobbishly. Kind of pissed me off for trying to get a free meal out of me:x, but I did'nt let that put a damper on the fun I had a PAX09. I went back to the convention center for the freeplay area.

Overall, brag to your friends about the AWESOMENESS you experienced and invite them along next year.

Buraisu

I would like to admit that I am an introverted nerd. I normally just keep to myself all of PAX except when my friends call me and get me to come hang out with them in the console freeplay area.

For midday, I normally just check out the demos, sights and sounds of the expo hall which is a lot more fun to do alone because it’s really crowded and hard to stay together for the most part unless you are just with one person. Expo hall is very crowed at times but the outside walls are normally less crowded unless there are booths against them.

The only time I really did any socializing alone at PAX was in the console freeplay area, it’s really nice to walk up and join multiplayer games. When tired, there are some nice spots in the handheld freeplay section of PAX, find a nice dark corner to hide in and play some DS. There are many great places to get away from the crowds; like schedule events that don’t have lines and a lot of open seating. A lot of great places to explore in and outside the convention center which is easy for me since I am a local and been visiting Seattle since I was young.

Later at night when it starts getting late, I just hang out with friends in the console freeplay or go solo in the PC freeplay area until the consort starts and then I find a nice relaxing place on the far side opposite of the entrance because it’s less crowded over there.

Also, this wallflower was even in Mc Frontalot’s Wallflower music video which happened after I worked up the courage to talk to the great father of nerdcore rap. Greatest wallflower, worse dancer. Ohhhh yeaaa.

So tell them that our kind can find fun in PAX and it's worth the trip. It was never a bore at PAX, worth every minute. Though, I didn't get to go this year because the tickets sold out and I didn't really have the money at any time before hand to buy any. Still worth it if it was anything like 2005-2008.

Marx

When it comes to people I don't know, I tend to be introverted as well. At PAX, it's different. Sure, most people there are strangers, but it's easy to walk up to and talk with them because you know right away that they share your same interests.

For example, I had no problem walking up to a group of people about to sit down and play a game in tabletop and ask if they were looking for players. Met some really cool people that way. It's a neat experience to feel so comfortable around people I don't even know.

chicazul

The key for introverts is having a buddy system. If you just have one introverted friend along, your options will be either to spend the entire weekend in their company (probably exhausting your friend with your extrovert pace, and making you feel restricted), or going and doing your own thing, making you happier but leaving your friend feel abandoned and shy and possibly heading back to the hotel room. Having more than one introvert along means they can hang out together even if you want to run off and talk to strangers.

Now, how to convince them to come?

Emphasize the cool things that your friends will be most interested in. Some people hardly ever leave the BYOC, others haunt the Expo hall playing all the demos; some love the tournaments, others are more interested in going to panels. List off all the amazing things that you could do at PAX until you find something they really want to do and explain how they could basically spend the weekend doing ONLY THAT.

Show some of the pictures and videos of amazing things they missed out on by not being here this year.

Point out that a significant proportion of those 60,000+ people are introverts, but PAX is so awesome that they don't mind the crowds. It's not quite like the normal introvert feeling of being surrounded by humans you have nothing in common with. People often don't believe that I'm an introvert when I meet them at PAX because I cosplay and start conversations with strangers and they perhaps don't see how after a few conversations I drift off to watch the Rock Band stage in solitude for half an hour.

Once you've managed to convince your friends that this thing sounds cool, here are a few tips for the care and feeding of introverts:

1. Invite a small group of people (2-4) who get along well and are likely to move at the same pace and want to do similar things. Larger groups will usually splinter into small groups like this as people follow their interests, but if you've only invited one tabletop gamer and no one wants to play with him/her, you're setting your friend up for a disappointing time.
   
2. Make a plan for contacting each other or reforming the group at a specific place, so if someone gets separated, they don't feel completely lost.
   
3. As mentioned by others, make sure your friends have a quiet place to retreat to. It might be worthwhile to stake out the convention centre on the first day to find good places for breathing room. These can double as your meeting points.
   
4. Possibly make some plans for eating together at least some of the time. I find the long lines for food exhausting and intimidating to enter alone, so I eat much better when a group of friends all head out for dinner. I do not know if this is a general introvert trait.
   
5. Introduce your new PAX friends to your friends from home! This will expand the social network and result in more opportunities for fun.

Shiggles

Marx wrote: »

When it comes to people I don't know, I tend to be introverted as well. At PAX, it's different. Sure, most people there are strangers, but it's easy to walk up to and talk with them because you know right away that they share your same interests.

For example, I had no problem walking up to a group of people about to sit down and play a game in tabletop and ask if they were looking for players. Met some really cool people that way. It's a neat experience to feel so comfortable around people I don't even know.

I agree with Marx. It is easy to walk up to people you know share similar interests, even though they are strangers. This was my first PAX & I knew absolutely 0 people there (I couldn't convince my friends to go, but I have for next year ). So I tried to be as friendly & outgoing as I possibly could (which isn't a whole bunch on the outgoing, I really am very friendly), and as a result I mostly met a ton of badass people. Now I say mostly because there were a several people (out of well over 9000) I went up to and just started "shooting the breeze" with & they seriously acted very smug & didn't seem to have manners. I even had one guy at a community event, right after I introduced myself & asked how everyone was doing (like 5 people) in our small circle, say (and I quote), "I hate how you act like you know me, but you don't". Which sent me into a paradox since the reason for doing group events with PAX is to meet people and see stuff. If you didn't want to hangout with other nerds, geeks & gamers wouldn't you just go see stuff by yourself? I digress.

However, being a generally shy introvert after several hours each day (I did stuff from Wed-Sun) I literally felt drained (physically, from standing/walking for hours on end, & mentally/emotionally, from socializing for what seemed like great deals of time). So I would drive back home (Wednesday only), go to my hotel room (Thursday-Sunday) or brother's apartment (Sunday evening only) to hide away from the crowds and recover. Which is why I missed the Buttoneering Meetup, TS Meetup & Post-PAX Dinner (sorry Arco, I really wanted to go but by the end of Omegathon round 6 I had to withdraw from society for the night; I hear you guys had a blast though ).

Real quick tidbit, chicazul has some great points.

To answer your question baratron:

baratron wrote: »

How exactly do you convince introverted geeks that being in a crowd of 75,000 is a good thing?

I would say from my own perspective as an introvert (since I can't speak on behalf of anyone but myself) I enjoyed it because I went to immerse myself in the culture that I love & have a good time. Hanging out/Meeting with other people, getting swag, going to panels (Scott Kurtz was hilarious!), seeing cosplayers, being involved with the '09 PAX Prank & getting to play demos (I actually did only play 2 ) were just bonuses. The thing I liked most about PAX is you can wander for hours & still have fun just watching others have fun (rockband freeplay anyone? ). There really isn't any pressure (at least there wasn't for me) that you are forced to talk to people (well except maybe the showcasers for demo play :P).

As a first time PAXer I learned a several things (somewhat relevant to introverts).

1) If you do BYOC, bring a light computer (I was foolish and brought a full-sized Antec 1200 tower, I quote from Dave the Enforcer, "It's more like bring your own server" :P). You have a lot of carrying to do from and to the BYOC & after all the physically stressful activity of lugging around a computer & waiting in line (at least what I went through) your temper tends to shorten (so your extremely less likely to have a good time) & it takes some calming down & rest, away from the crowds to do.

2) Your hotel is a safe zone. Just because you've traveled near & far from your residence to go to PAX dosen't mean you have to try to see and do everything. If it ever got to much for me I didn't hesitate to excuse myself from the con for awhile (sometimes 15 minutes, other times several hours) to rest, recover & recoup. I know you may feel the need to see and do it all, but if it becomes more of a job than just going to hang out and have fun it's not PAX IMO.

3) Bring a DS/PSP/Twitter device. Any of these devices helped take me away from reality & knowing I'm surrounded my thousands of people. Majority of the time I spent there was on DS in picochat (aka dick-toe-chat) & playing some mario kart. Tweeting a I did a bit of, but without a decent phone with a twitter app it's kinda hard to do it successfully (I'll get an iPhone next year :P).

4) In addition to #3, bringing a mp3 player or similar music device wouldn't have been a bad idea for waiting in line & making the akward silence at times more akward than it had to be.

5) Go with friends! I wish I had convinced a least 1 of my friends to go. It would have been 10x more exciting than flying solo.

Edit: 6) Get on IRC & chat. This one seems kind of counter-intuitive for an introvert. You don't have to spam walls of text & chat with ever single person, just chime in when you feel comfortable. However, I can't count how many times people asked me, "Aren't you from the IRC channel?". There were some akward moments where it seemed like everyone (even first timers) knew everyone elses inside jokes. It seemed as though a lot of people would talk like they were BFFs, yet they were meeting IRL for the first time. I wish I had done at least a little IRC so I got to know most of the awesomely rad people I met there, before meeting them IRL. :P