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How do I escape these feelings
Zombies Tossed My Salad!
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Yes this is kinda a girl thread.
So my girlfriend and I broke up on sunday, and this has honestly been the worst week of my life. We dated for almost a year and a half and I was very much in love with her. I had honestly never felt that way about another person in my entire life.
I'm 22 and have had my fair share of breakups so I know what a normal one feels. It sucks and hurts yes.
But this is much much different. There is a empty soul crushing sadness that is all pervasive. I have never felt this way in my entire life.
Everything reminds me over. Literally everything. From every song that I hear on the radio, to being at work, to even going to the bathroom. There is nothing I can do that doesn't do it.
What the fuck do I do here? How the fuck do I deal with this shit? I'm not a depressed person. I barley eat, I sleep 12-14 hours a day. What do I do here? This is bull shit.
So my girlfriend and I broke up on sunday, and this has honestly been the worst week of my life. We dated for almost a year and a half and I was very much in love with her. I had honestly never felt that way about another person in my entire life.
I'm 22 and have had my fair share of breakups so I know what a normal one feels. It sucks and hurts yes.
But this is much much different. There is a empty soul crushing sadness that is all pervasive. I have never felt this way in my entire life.
Everything reminds me over. Literally everything. From every song that I hear on the radio, to being at work, to even going to the bathroom. There is nothing I can do that doesn't do it.
What the fuck do I do here? How the fuck do I deal with this shit? I'm not a depressed person. I barley eat, I sleep 12-14 hours a day. What do I do here? This is bull shit.
Zombies Tossed My Salad! on
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That's pretty much all you can do. It does get easier though. The most important thing is to get out of the house and stay very busy. Start a new hobby. Anything to take your mind off it.
Or, conversely
"The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else"
I'd try A first.
Eliminate all contact with her. Facebook, e-mail, phone, skype. Everything.
Gather some friends and go out for a night on the town. You probably don't feel like it, but you'll feel much better after doing it. Friends are there for situations like this.
Start working out, if you don't. Takes your mind off of it.
Stay busy. Read, take up a new hobby, learn guitar. Do something.
Sorry to hear about the break up dude.
Yeah I forgot this. This a thousand times. Seriously, do it and don't look back.
so keep distracted
I may throw my self at guitar. Might go amp shopping tomorrow
Also, things could be worse. At least you don't work with her (I assume). Seeing your ex at work, all happy and acting like nothing is wrong, while you want to crawl into a hole an die? Not fun.
XBL |Steam | PSN | last.fm
Always works for me. Make sure you get a loud one.
I went through exactly what you described many years ago. Something that you can lose yourself in will be a huge help. For me it was music, so I think you are on the right track with going amp shopping. It could be a good emotional outlet for you. Other than that, time is the only thing that makes it more bearable. Hell, I'm happily married with a kid, and she still pops up in my dreams occasionally over two decades later.
What helped me:
Exercise
Sexing someone else
Exercise
Using my new found free time to get back into the music scene
Pot
Some of these may or may not apply to you, but EXERCISE, man, it will make you feel better at least temporarily.
I broke up with my ex a month ago, we met through WoW and happened to live a county away from each other; I had known her as a guildie and friend for 2 years before we started dating in April, after she broke up with a long term bf who lives in Sweden.
Things were great, we talked all the time, we visited each other at least once a month and everything was peachy until around mid July.
She started blanking me and refusing to skype/webcam, became withdrawn and eventually told me (after a month of this shit) that she just didn't feel the same way.
She has just faction transferred and is now Horde on my server, which for some reason makes me feel really bad whenever I see her ingame.. like jealousy (grass is greener!) and regret. I really need to get out and exercise, get a job, after 10 months of unemployment I need to do something with my life.
Doesn't help that I still talk to her mum and have her on msn/facebook/skype, but I'm not sure if I could bring myself to delete her just yet.
This thread has encouraged me to finally get off my ass and do something. Exercise starts tomorrow!
EDIT: What really hit home for me here is ZTMS mentioned love. Until the breakup I really did have strong feelings for her and it was totally crushing to find that it wasn't returned.
those feelings go away after some time, but they're truly soul crushing at first
meet friends, got out. this will fill your head with other things
keep busy. delete them off of EVERYTHING. you think you won't see their name in your phone because you never go through there? you will, you'll find a reason subconsciously to go through your contact list, and there is good old edna or agatha and oh, don't you miss her, and so forth.
don't forget places like online games that you both might play, if you did that sort of thing. you would be surprised to find out the kind of things that can set you off.
<3s, ben. you'll find another lady who will appreciate you forever and ever.
go go music!
I was googling a word on my iPhone, and it autocorrected to my ex's name. It's not a common name, and I'm assuming it was in the dictionary because I had typed it on there before, but despite the word and the name being only one letter apart I had never made the connection. It wasn't a good moment.
XBL |Steam | PSN | last.fm
exercise
I myself have recently left the lingering emotions of being dumped behind, and I would say it took about six months. For that early period where you are really feeling like shit, nothing will help more than proper strenuous exercise.
For the longer term, I would say one of the things that helped me the most was having my life moving in a new direction. I recently moved out, started hanging out with a group of my friends more and got a new job. Also I'm going overseas soon.
If your life is just the same as it was, but minus 'her', moving on can be really hard. Because you aren't really moving. If you are moving in a direction, the distance between you and your feelings will seem further.
Don't expect things to change too quickly.
https://medium.com/@alascii
Pick up a musical instrument. Some of the best music has heartbreak as the inspiration. Guitar and drums are both really good for letting out frustration.
Alternatively, throw yourself into an art medium. I enjoy drawing a lot, and after my last break-up, I started drawing a lot, and ended up feeling a lot better without realizing the drawing was helping.
Current Games I Own: http://sirchrissypoo.tadalist.com/lists/1763135/public
Things I'm Interested In: http://sirchrissypoo.tadalist.com/lists/1763272/public
I also did everything I could think of that my ex-girlfriend hated that I enjoyed to do.
If it ends up being a long list it can be pretty satisfying.
Satans..... hints.....
I broke up with my last real serious GF (of 3 years) about 5 years ago and for the first YEAR I was totally in a hole, super depressed, moping around, turned into a complete hermit, stopped taking care of myself and lost touch with a lot of acquaintances and friends, and generally just started to rot. And the only thing that brought me back into the land of the living was my friends, liberal doses of alcohol and the ensuing hijinx. If there was ever a time to take comfort in the company of good friends and drink, this is it.
And that might not be your thing, and it's fine if it's not. It doesn't matter what you do as long as you DO it and don't let yourself stagnate. This is NOT the end of the world. This is only a drill.
This, right fuckin here. I broke up with my last serious GF (of 3 years) a year and a half ago and had issues until recently, when I started just going out on random adventures.
If you are down for random adventures and in the San Diego/LA area any time soon, gimmie a call bud.
This. I am still discovering things that I forgot I liked to do or was 'forbidden' to do while with my ex.
And I'll throw in a vote too for exercising, but I found that I had to keep it interesting and mostly outdoors otherwise my mind definitely would dwell where I didn't want to go.
Hugs dude, hope you're doing ok
It's been over 6 years, and it still kinda hurts when I think about her.
In all seriousness, though, bitches aren't shit but hoes and tricks.
oh well, I still got part of the semester break to get over her.
Get together with your friends, and fuckin'...do stuff. Anything! Watch some shitty B-horror movies. Get trashed (but be careful, and don't make this a habit. Only bad things can come of that.), talk about stuff, hike, bike, run, whatever. Just do it with people. It helps. A lot.
Another thing is to listen to some metal or angry music and just fuckin'... rock the hell out. Get mad, get angry, and wail on your pillow or a punching bag or something (try not to actually break anything...or hurt anyone. This is important, haha), but it helps to get all the pent up anger out with out damaging you or anything around you.
Check out my art! Buy some prints!
Best of luck, man. It really does start getting better, it just takes time.
Face Twit Rav Gram
:winky:
it aint your soulmate if you two split
it'll all work out!
darkest before the dawn, and such
I dated this girl for about 7 (closer to 8) months and we ended up breaking up a little over a month ago. She kept calling and telling me she loved me, but couldn't be with me. I kept getting more and more upset. We ended up seeing eachother, I tried to seduce her, and then we didn't talk for 3 or 4 weeks. During that time I was very close to moving on. Then because I -hadn't- deleted her on facebook I saw she had a picture of her cuddling up with a guy she had started hanging out with a week or two before we broke up from her work (which extra sucks cause we work for the same company) and I freaked out and called her and asked to see her again. She ended up asking to hang out on my birthday, I hadn't made new plans because of the fact that originally my plans were with her anyway, made the mistake of saying yes. We hung out, she confirmed she was fucking this new guy on a fairly consistant basis, but stated that she still had feelings for me, and didn't feel the same way for him. At the end of the night we made out a bit, she freaked out. Then we had sex, and she freaked out during and quickly dismounted the whole thing, yelled at me quite a bit and stormed out of my house.
Why am I ranting about this? Because seriously delete this girl from your phone, and delete her from social networking sites, because if you don't you will regret it. I'm in more pain than I was when we actually broke up, because I didn't allow myself to recover.
Regardless, I've gotten a shit ton better at my job at work and I'm getting in really good shape because I devote a lot of my time to that sort of thing now. Do that, it'll help.
Watch this episode.
a month and a half later I am smoking a joint and listening to frank zappa and meetin' ladies and it's really way better then being tied down in an ass-backwards relationship
it struck me a few weeks ago
freedom
and you will be hit by the same revelation