[Paranoia IC] System Crash...

NotoriusBEN

The corridors of Alpha Complex are bustling with activity as members of all clearance go about their daily routines. From the INFRARED Masses working menial (but very rewarding) jobs in various sectors of the Complex, to the ULTRAVIOLETS in their highly trustworthy maintenance of The Computer's systems and subroutines. A chime rings out over the loud speaker as Benevolent Computer makes an Announcement.

MISSION ALERT

Attention Troubleshooter Team #346! You have been selected for a new and exciting mission. Report to Briefing Officer Dirk-Y-UCD in Briefing Room 41, immediately. Please review HPD&MC informational Booklet 'Your Guide To Safe Lifting and Handling' before the briefing.

Also, would Citizens: Timothy-SCA, Todd-PEG and Jared-OAT please report to HPD&MC sector UCD for daily 'Community Standards Excercises via Entusiastic Public Encouragement'

That is all.

Players

Pygmalion as Manuel-R-EXO-1
El Skid as Rice-R-ONI-1
Bandorr as Where-R-YOU-1
kuhlmeye as Kyle-R-XRU-1
Gandalf_the_Crazed as Nathan-R-PON-1
JaquesCousteau as Parastratiosphecomyia-R-BAD-1 (Paraty-R-BAD)

Play-by-Post Rules

This is my first PbP with this game so there will be a couple bumps to iron out when we reach them.

The GM is FAIR and JUST and ALWAYS RIGHT. The world the GM presents may NOT BE FAIR and JUST. Your trapped in an underground distopia with a deranged Computer, uncaring Higher-ups, dangerous mutations, psychotic societies, and paranoid NPCs and PCs with hair-trigger fingers. Adapt and Entertain or Die.

This game is heavy on secrecy! When my group plays this game at home, we burn through TONS of sticky-notes. Sometimes a sly interception occurs and that's part of the fun.

Interception of notes is hard in a forum with PMs, -therefore- ALL NOTES TO OTHER PLAYERS MUST BE PM'd TO THE GM (me) AS WELL. This is so that I can judiciously (or randomly) send interceptions of messeges to other players.

If you want to do something in secret, send me a PM of it and I'll add it to my GM update post for that round.
One thing to replicate the table top experience. EVERYONE WILL KNOW YOU PASSED A MESSAGE TO A PLAYER OR THE GM. Come up with your own conclusions to what was in the note...

To limit PM bombardment on everyone (especially me), everyone is allowed 1 secret player-to-player PM, and 1 secret action PM per GM update of the game.

I will keep a GM log of all actions, posts and what not that Ill post when we finish the mission so you'll finally figure out how you were bamboosled.

Posts in Plum are me dropping into OOC chat. You do not have to worry about ulterior motives or misinformation from NPCs when I post in this color. Players DO NOT have the luxury of dropping into OOC chat. You are constantly (maybe) monitored by the Computer and IntSec. Fear and Ignorance, baby.

PM FORMAT

Please put into the title of a PM whether it is a Secret Action or 'Message for Player' and the current Post# when you wrote it.

ex.
NotoriusBen: Secret Action, Post#11
Im gonna stab Patsy-R-DED in the back with my knife

NotoriusBen: Message for Patsy-R-DED, Post# 15
Get ready to shoot Decoy-R when he runs into the room.

REMEMBER! if you message a player, you also need to PM me so that your message can be factored into the story

GAME MECHANIC

The Principle Game Mechanic is to "Roll 1d20 UNDER your SKILL SCORE" ex. Energy Weapons = 10, you roll a 9, you hit.
Perversity Points alter the SKILL SCORE ex. Energy Weapons = 10, you spend +2 mod, Energy Weapons = 12 for this roll; if you spend -2 mod, Energy Weapons = 8
YOU CAN SPEND PERVERSITY TO INCREASE A SKILL OVER 20 OR BELOW 1 (good luck with the Player fallout of such decisions)

Even if you succeed on a roll, the closer to 20 it is, the greater chance of snafu (as decided by GM)

Rulings and Disputes

Unless you guys state the exact skill you are going to use, Im going to go on gut intuiton for skill checks.
If you feel like disputing a ruling:
1, DON’T EDIT THE POST before hand, ‘cuz that will auto-fail you
2, state your case (it’s the first Paranoia PbP game, so I’m willing to bend a bit for fuzzy definitions)

Definitions

Con Games vs. Chutzpah
Con Games is persuasion using spurious logic and fast talking (This pen is great because of this and that and that, etc.)
Chutzpah is persuasion using confident assertions, bluffing, and ballsy-ness (This is a great pen because it was given to me by an ULTRAVIOLET.)

That’s a lot of Secret Actions, NotoriusBen

Yea, I started thinking about how regular messages (like comments and game questions) would play into a real life game, since you don’t want to tip your hand sometimes, and Im going to just label all of that as a Secret Action to the GM. Hey, you guys don’t know what’s in the message. More suspicion for everybody!

NotoriusBEN

'Im kinda lost on how your Judging and Running this game NotoriusBEN...'

You curious little Troubleshooter.:x
Well, in Myth-Weavers, I linked you as an editor for your character sheet (a bit of trust I might add) so that I can make sure you can see the secret info on your sheet.

If you want to roll a certain skill, just mention it in your post in Game Mechanics Gray. If you amuse me enough with your post, I may add or subtract modifiers to your roll.

Ill be using IC to generate rolls, but GM modifiers will remain secret, cuz that's how I roll with this particular game. I cant have you knowing if you succeed/fail a sneak check because the setup is just too good.

Perversity Points

You may notice at the Bottom of your sheet that there is a Perversity Point counter on your character sheet. These points are yours, THE PLAYER, not your PC. These points can be spent to add or subtract modifiers from rolls (like gunfighting.) When you spend points, you need to also add why a certain modifier applies (ie. steam ducts burst -1 mod, Goon-G slips onto the ground in plain sight +2 mod).

To modify a roll with Perversity Points, you MUST post them in the IC thread, they CANNOT be secret.

The most points you can spend at one time, is 5 points/roll. (you better have a collossal reason for the bigger modifier as well)

You can earn points by spending points AND if you 'betray' yourself (like mention key words about your mutation, secret society, etc.) You dont have to go out and say "I am a communist!" cuz that will bring on The Computer. Be subtle about it, and if I pick up on it just by reading it, Ill put points on your sheet.

El Skid

Rice smiled happily at the announcement and quickly gathered his gear. An opportunity to server Friend Computer has arrived, and it was his duty- no his pleasure- to hurry to the assigned briefing room... if only he knew where that was. He also needed to get an informational booklet and read it while hurrying.

Friend Computer's enforced multitasking sure did force the sluggish citizens of Alpha Complex to multitask effectively, thus using their time in an efficient and productive way... He was so lucky to live here!

Bandorr

clicking his pen subconsciously he gathers up his equipment and booklet and looks around for what he is missing
*click* *click* *click* where did I put my pen? *click* I had it when I was writing notes in my booklet. *click*
*click* oh well guess I will find it later then. Maybe the computer has seen my pen *click*.

Gandalf_the_Crazed

Nathan-R-PON-1 practically leaped for joy. A mission from Friend Computer, to make the world a better place! He couldn't wait.

Grabbing a nearby copy of the HPD & MC briefing manual (for, of course, he serves in that very service group!), he skipped off toward the briefing room.

Pygmalion

Manuel walked carefully through the corridors toward the briefing room. He was careful not to run his hand along the side of the wall, as was the habit of others. The wall maintenance teams were not diligent enough and there were sometimes sharp pieces of jagged metal sticking out. He could be cut.

His pistol bounced lightly on his belt. It was reassuring. The Commies might be after him even as he walked. The briefing room loomed above, the simple sign portending naught. He walked inside and saw his fellow Operatives. He sat down without making eye contact. He sat straight and listened.

JacquesCousteau

The Trai- uh Loyal Citizen Paraty-R-BAD is in the Armed Forces mess when the announcement comes on over the loud speaker. Neatly putting away his dishes and the others left sitting around his table - including those still being used, he heads off to wash his hands.

And then (after checking his jumpsuit is spotless) he looks heads for the door, hoping Friend Computer will show him the way to Briefing Room... uh 41?

Pygmalion

The Briefing Room smelt to Manuel of boiled cabbage and old rag mats. As he awaited Friend Computer's guidance, he looked around at his fellow Operatives. He sized them up and wondered how many of them carried the weight of secrets about them. He suspected that one was a plant, ready to find out the secrets of the others.

His previous missions had been uneventful and rather dull. Manuel liked dull. Dull did not break the skin.

NotoriusBEN

Dont worry people, I am watching the thread. I am currently waiting for Kuhlmeye to post before moving the plot (haha, plot) forward. Dont forget, you guys are allowed to PM one secret action to me and one Player-to-Player PM for conspiratorital reasons. Just remember to send an additional copy of the message to me (or it doesnt count.)

kuhlmeye

A mission? How very excellent! Kyle jumped up from his bunk, ready to do his service. Troubleshooting was tough work, but he was up for it. As he readied his equipment, the only thought in his head was I hope we find some commies to eliminate!

After his equipment was packed, he left his room, making his way to the briefing room, the lifting and handling booklet in his hands while he walked. He felt it more efficient to read and walk, as you only really needed to look in front of you every 10 seconds or so. Can't wait to hear our mission! he thought, walking into the briefing room.

NotoriusBEN

Briefing Room 41 is relatively easy to find compared to many rooms in Alpha Complex. Manuel-R-EXO, Where-R-YOU, Paraty-R-BAD arrive in punctual manner to a small junior citizen classroom. Strewn throughout the classroom are various school supplies such as books, paper, protractors and their ilk. At the head of the room sits a dour looking, if impeccible Dirk-Y-UCD with a regulation haircut, in his regulation yellow jumpsuit, and regulation mission plan on his regulation teacher's desk.

Looking at his watch, Dirk grimaces even more as the remaining team members, Rice-R-ONI, Nathan-R-PON, and Kyle-R-XRU arrive at their own pace into the briefing room. "Hmm, yes. Well, I'm glad that *some* of you understand that time is a valuable commodity in this Complex. Care to explain why you three are late?"

Gandalf_the_Crazed has sent in a Secret Action.
Action and Personal PMs are refreshed.

Pygmalion

Hmm, I wonder what they could have been doing. I'll have to keep my eye on those of us who were on time.

Manuel tries to think up some secretive things to do, but decides to be a reactionary. He feels that this is in the best traditions of the service of the Computer.

Bandorr

/wonders angrily where those people are. Not only are they wasting friend computers time but mine also. As soon as this mission is over the sooner i can get to creating more inventions. Something that shocks people when they don't hurry sounds good.

El Skid

NotoriusBEN wrote: »

Looking at his watch, Dirk grimaces even more as the remaining team members, Rice-R-ONI, Nathan-R-PON, and Kyle-R-XRU arrive at their own pace into the briefing room. "Hmm, yes. Well, I'm glad that *some* of you understand that time is a valuable commodity in this Complex. Care to explain why you three are late?"

Rice beamed happily at Dirk, ignoring a smirk from one of the early troubleshooters: "I was ordered by Friend Computer to read the manual before I arrived at the briefing room. It would have been treasonous not to read it before I stepped through the door. Perhaps my fellow troubleshooters who arrived overly promptly were merely unbelievably quick readers who did not disobey Friend Computer's direct order and who did not ignore the very important manual and the valuable instructions contained inside?"

Pygmalion

Manuel listens as Rice makes friends and influences people by pulling them down into the shit with him and sighs.

Bandorr

The computer also ordered you to come to the room and be on time. Breaking one order to do another is still breaking an order *click*. Your mismanagement of time is not the computers concern. *click*.

of course i already read the book before i came here, i was hoping for more ideas for my designs. *click*.

Pygmalion

Pleased that somebody else can manage the situation, Manuel eyes Rice to see how he intends to respond.

Gandalf_the_Crazed

"I, for one, am unsure of where I was. I was instructed by Friend Computer to forget my previous mission, presumably for security reasons. While I would otherwise provide you with the relevant information, citizen, I have already dutifully forgotten it. It is possible that since your clearance is higher than mine, Friend Computer would provide you with an explanation if you were to fill out the requisite forms. However, it is equally possible that the mission's existence is above your security clearance as well. I would not know. Regardless, I arrived as quickly as possible, given Friend Computer's various directives, and can only hope Friend Computer will honor my loyalty."

Can I make some sort of Con Games or Chutzpah roll on this one?

kuhlmeye

Kyle puts the booklet into his pocket as he walks into the room. Hearing the other's responses, he responds as soon as they finish.

"Late? I was not aware that I was to be here any other time than immediately, and I am immediately here. Perhaps the other citizens rooms are located closer than mine, but I got here as quickly as possible. Despite my tardiness, I am ready to begin our mission for Friend Computer."

Pygmalion

"Late, early? What does it matter?" says Manuel. "I was here exactly on time. The most loyal doing of them all." He looks around, challenging anyone to dispute him. "Now, what does Friend Computer command, that I might obey in complete loyalty to the letter of the commandment. As I often do."

NotoriusBEN

You guys gonna take that undermining talk from Pyg/Manuel? Squabble among yourselves, and I'll update this on Thursday.

JacquesCousteau

Paraty ignores the beginning of the conversation as he grooms the other R-class citizens in the room, looking for any unHygenic uniforms. "Uh, yes. What may we do for Friend Computer?" he queries, kneeling to polish an invisible scuff from his shoe.

Gandalf_the_Crazed

Nathan turns to face Manuel, the corner of his mouth twitching.

"Exactly on time, you say? What time would that be, exactly?"

Pygmalion

"It's in the book," said Manuel. "First page. All meetings designated 'immediately' shall be held alternately at the first hour or the second hour after the daily breakfast and Friend Computer's Morning Announcements. This is an alternate day since yesterday was the beginning of the new half-month, so here I was then and here you are not then. It's very easy to understand if you don't lose your calendar or are too busy running around on personal errands to get an approved update from the servers."

He sniffs lightly at the foolishness of his so-called team member. He shoos Paraty away gently, worried about the sharp tines of the comb. "A visual inspection will suffice, I try to groom my own self as much as possible so as not to impose on the system."

Gandalf_the_Crazed

Am I allowed to call him on that? To what extent do we assume that such bullshit is legitimate?

Pygmalion

Manuel is infinitely confident that some combination of the dense verbage of the book can be so interpreted. And to imply that the Book is wrong in some way is more dangerous than to just make a counter-interpretation at a later date. He assumes either his erstwhile team member will drop this pointless line of argument or that she will be reprimanded by the Yellow.

It is my understanding that the game runs on pure bullshit/law of funny. I think your only defence is to generate your own bullshit screen. I assume the DM will fix it if anybody goes too far.

Gandalf_the_Crazed

Sounds good to me; just wasn't sure.

"My, you certainly are sharp on those regulations; you make your point quite strongly. However, I believe we can cut to the chase on this one. There is no need to needle one another or to be on edge. It is obvious that Friend Computer chose us with knowledge of our current locations, and everyone in this room seems keen to please Friend Computer. If you are prepared to accuse any of us of treasonous lying, citizen, please present your evidence. Otherwise, it seems that Friend Computer's directives are being obeyed.....

...even if we all may not have arrived precisely in the nick of time."

Nathan flashes a glinting smile of razor teeth at Manuel, before taking his assigned seat.

"My, my. I seem to have grown a bit agitated there. I hope I have not expanded upon the matter too greatly and wasted our superior's time."

Pygmalion

Razor teeth, eh? A third-class citizen or a foolishly hidden mutant. Either way, it hardly matters. If he's willing to threaten for such a minor matter, he can't be trusted.
"Oh, I was not aware of your condition. Your designation was not clearly displayed. A registered mutant has his own difficulties. I withdraw my objection to his tardiness, Dirk-Y-UCD, but retain my wariness of mutation as is commanded by Friend Computer. As the team recorder, I have also put this into the record."

El Skid

Rice continued smiling, while watching the others get involved in accusations of treason. As things started to heat up, he took out an indistructable-looking notebook and began jotting down notes.

"I think that some of us are obviously starting to get unhappy with this line of thought- I detect sighing and other signs of unhappiness! We are all comr...patriots here, joined in our love of the computer and here to receive our assigned task in an efficient and overall happy way! There's no reason to frown, sigh and otherwise display unhappiness."

Continuing to wear a big smile, he looked up from his notes and asked: "May I ask, who is the happiness officer assigned to ensure that we are all free from displays of wanton unhappiness?"

Bandorr

while I know that I was on time. Infact I arrived first, so you can say I obeyed the computer the best. I...and those others.. love the computer the most since WE did we the computer wanted. I know that as team leader I will never be late to a meeting and I know that would never anger the computer by being late no matter what reasons were given.

This is why I was made team leader because I am always on time and YOU all are not. You should learn how to be on time like I am if you want to please the computer... oh hey i found my pen neat.

Gandalf_the_Crazed

"My....condition? I'm sorry, fellow citizen, but to what condition are you referring?"

Pygmalion

"Ah, a secret mutant with sharp deformed fangs of some imprudent razor sharpness. How do you expect to hide? I think you should be reported. Shameful, really. To hide your inhuman teeth away, ready to pull them out and attack. As is well known, this is the way that traitors operate. Fortunately, the team has found its first traitor, and we will be able to secure the briefing room and earn accolades of The Computer. Do you not agree, Dirk-Y-UCD?"
He looks over the pitiful mutant. "Oh, do you intend to bite me? Do you not see that this is all being recorded and that you have convicted yourself?" he continues, gesturing with his assigned recorder.

(Player note: I'm really only working with your description. One assumes that "razor teeth" counts as a mutation. Or at least a really weird thing to do to teeth. Anyways, making a hextuple double entendre threat is a commie style.)

Gandalf_the_Crazed

Honestly I was just trying for one more double entendre, it didn't occur to me that it would be seen as a description of mutation. I see where you're coming from, though, it was poor word choice on my part.

Nathan sits quietly for a moment, quizzical and stunned.

"Perhaps I have grown a bit differently from others, fellow citizen, but calling it a mutation is a bit of a stretch. Kindly refrain from making disparaging remarks concerning my teeth in the future. I grow tired of this. May we commence with the briefing, officer?"

Pygmalion

(whoops! Ok, let's walk it back. We're Paranoid, so any confusing word can cause escalation.)

"Yes, let's," Manuel says warily. "Perhaps you should be more careful in the future. Remember what Friend Computer says: We Are All Equal, Difference Is Treason."

Bandorr

If we were all equal we would all be the team leader. We aren't all the team leader, just i am the team leader. The computer has chosen me over you to lead the team.

Do you require a certain kind of toothpaste to brush those teeth?

Lets see.. i can program a bot to knock over a marble to slide down a funnel and pour some powder into a hole where a blender will swirl it around and then it will come out out as a nice paste. Of course this would require a lot of money, time, effort and you'd have to schedule appointments. Hows Tuesday at 3?

Pygmalion

"Our team leader is mumbling, but I can't make out what he's saying. I will record it so that we can play it back at a higher volume during a crisis," said Manuel.

El Skid

"Our illustrious team leader is right- under Friend Computer, we are all happily unequal. We are set up in our various service areas and concentrate on various skills so that we can all be useful to Alpha Complex as a whole, but Friend Computer has seen to it that we are joyously different- we have various security clearances and hierearchies within our team that ensure that we can never be truly equal."

Still smiling, Rice looked over at Manuel. "It is a terrible thing to think about an Alpha Complex where everyone is equal and we all work for the good of each other instead of happily doing our duty to Friend Computer- which is the most important thing ever- and spending so much time killing each other in a search for Commie traitors, wouldn't you agree?"

Pygmalion

"We are all equal in loyalty to Friend Computer, that's for sure!" Manuel says cheerfully, sidestepping the loaded question and trying to remember if high-fives are treasonous this week. "Huh? Huh?"

NotoriusBEN

Dirk-Y blinks and shuffles through his papers at Rice-R’s mention of the ‘Guides to Safe Lifting and Handling’, “Hmm, yes, so you have retrieved those guides as stated in the mission briefing.” Further putting off Dirk-Y, Nathan-R makes his excuse to which Dirk-Y begins looking up corroborrating records (Yes, Computer did make Nathan-R forget his previous mission with medication, No Dirk-Y, that mission is beyond your clearance).

During Dirk-Y’s data searching, an argument erupted between team members about ‘supposed mutations’ but before anything of great substance could be stated, Dirk-Y-UCD presses a button on his desk. Taser tethers shoot out from the ceiling, walls, and even Paraty’s boots and give everyone a mild jolt to attention. Mild by Alpha Complex standards, anyway. Everyone convulses and flop like fish in a hot griddle.

“Well, let’s not be late again shall we? Here is your mission plan:
1) Your assignment is to transport the Cargo from the UCD R&D Facility to Room 542.
2) Collect necessary equipment from the local PLC Outfitting Office
3) Report to R&D Facility to collect the Cargo.
4) Ensure that no unauthorised individuals obtain, examine, tamper with, damage, interfere with, observe, sabotage, remove, touch, open, scan, or otherwise interact with the Cargo.
5) Place the Cargo in Room 542 and await further instructions.
That is all.”

By the way, Manual-R, the regulations about "immediate arrival times" have been amended 15minutes ago. All immediate arrival times are now 5 minutes after the beginning of the announcement that... announced... the need for immediate arrival. Which means you were also late by 4.31 seconds. Manual-R, Nathan-R, Rice-R, and Kyle-R: please pay the fine of 2 credits at the PLC Outfitting Office in UCD sector. Have a pleasant day!

POST # 14 El Skid/Rice Roll vs. Moxie +1 (pre-emptive guess about Dirk’s demeanor) = 8 PASS!
POST # 18 Gandalf/Nathan Roll vs. Chutzpah +1 (ok related phrase) = 2 PASS!
POST # 19 Kuhlmeye/Kyle Roll vs. Chutzpah (no modifiers) = 13 PASS!
POST # 24 Pyg/Manuel Roll vs. Con Games +1 (ok related phrase) = 7 FAIL!
El Skid has sent in a Secret Action
Gandalf has sent in a Secret Action
Bandorr has sent in a Secret Action
Perversity Points have been doled out. (Cant exceed 30 Perversity, by the way)

More uh..I guess ‘house rules and kinks’ added to POST #1

NotoriusBEN

All secret messages and secreat Actions have been refreshed.
All posts #39 and lower CAN NOT be edited. Multicorder and Loyalty notes, canon, etc...
Yea, Pyg is right, this game is based on an incredible amount of BS. As the previous post has shown, I like to roll dice and if you pass, Ill allow it, if not, eh, Computer makes them right if I'm stumped for ideas. And thanks in advance for being such good sports! We might have our own little 'house rules' book when this is all over.

kuhlmeye

After the Computer's announcement, Kyle turns to the rest of the team. "Well then, we have a job to do! Let's get to it then!" And then, slightly lower in volume, as if musing to himself, "Perhaps while in the UCD sector I can pay that fine."