Real Ultimate Power: The Movie

The Geek

The Official Ninja Thread


Hi, this thread is all about ninjas, REAL NINJAS. This thread is awesome. My name is The Geek and I can't stop thinking about ninjas. These guys are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4pEKQ_zUBo

Facts:

1. Ninja movies are shown on large screens
2. Ninja movies show ninjas fighting ALL the time.
3. The purpose of the ninja movie is to flip out and kill other movies.

So yeah, there's this ninja movie. It looks so wonderfully and shamelessly gratuitous. You should probably all go see this movie. If you succeed, everybody will be like “Holy Crap!”







You may ask, "Hey The Geek, is this movie really gonna be that totally sweet?"

To which I would reply, "Fuck you. NINJAS."





If you don't believe that ninja movies have REAL Ultimate Power you better get a life right now or they will chop your head off!!! It's an easy choice, if you ask me.

Ninjas are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants. I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart. These guys are totally awesome and that's a fact. Ninjas are fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet. I can't wait to start yoga next year. I love ninjas with all of my body (including my pee pee).


http://ninja-assassin-movie.warnerbros.com/

Kazhiim

yes

but can they do SPIIIDAAHH WARK-U, or traverse THE WAR-UPED WALL?

Staxeon

Uh, wasn't that website cool like, 10 years ago?

natek

woah

this brings me all the way back to middle school

Dee Kae

So ninjas aren't assassins? This shatters everything I know.

Linksville

Geek put this in the OP:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtR2m20C2YM

natek

you have the wrong facts, sir

Facts:

1. Ninjas are mammals.
2. Ninjas fight ALL the time.
3. The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.

The Geek

Dee Kae wrote: »

So ninjas aren't assassins? This shatters everything I know.

They are, but see, it's called Ninja Assassin because it's about a guy that assassinates ninjas.



He is also a ninja.

natek

The Geek wrote: »

They are, but see, it's called Ninja Assassin because it's about a guy that assassinates ninjas.

THIS IS IMPOSSIB-

The Geek wrote: »

He is also a ninja.

oh okay

natek

oh

I found a bit of the leaked script

Scene 1:

Dark smoke fills the scene and pump up music slowly gets louder. The audience sees a ninja and his girlfriend eating at a super expensive restaurant. The girlfriend is so hot that steam is coming out of her mouth or hair. Some old idiot is sitting by the couple. The idiot is giving the girlfriend "the eye" and popping like 16 boners. But the ninja sees the boners and the music really pumps up. The audience knows this guy is dead meat for sure. But out of nowhere, the old idiot pulls off his jacket to show that he is a pirate with lasers and everything. The ninja is like yeah right who cares and then pops the biggest boner ever, bigger than the biggest blackest boner alive. The ninja's boner smashes the entire restaurant. Every single one of the pirate's boners explodes while making a whistling sound. The ninja looks back at his girlfriend. She smiles and they pork.

Robcham

A NINJA ASSASSIN WHO ASSASSINATES NINJAS? WHAT ABOUT NINJA ASSASSINS ASSASSINS? ARE THERE NINJA ASSASSINS ASSASSIN NINJAS?

Druhim

ninjas are pretty lame

UnbreakableVow

I'm holding out for The Alphabet of Manliness: The Movie.

The Geek

Ninjas have been dispatched to Druhim's location and have killed him.

Any further posts from his account are the ninjas pretending to be him as to not arouse suspicion.

Staxeon

natek wrote: »

oh

I found a bit of the leaked script

Scene 1:

Dark smoke fills the scene and pump up music slowly gets louder. The audience sees a ninja and his girlfriend eating at a super expensive restaurant. The girlfriend is so hot that steam is coming out of her mouth or hair. Some old idiot is sitting by the couple. The idiot is giving the girlfriend "the eye" and popping like 16 boners. But the ninja sees the boners and the music really pumps up. The audience knows this guy is dead meat for sure. But out of nowhere, the old idiot pulls off his jacket to show that he is a pirate with lasers and everything. The ninja is like yeah right who cares and then pops the biggest boner ever, bigger than the biggest blackest boner alive. The ninja's boner smashes the entire restaurant. Every single one of the pirate's boners explodes while making a whistling sound. The ninja looks back at his girlfriend. She smiles and they pork.

Wait, is his boner black because...its stealthy?

Druhim

durrrr I'm ooooold

No Great Name

Druhim wrote: »

ninjas are pretty lame

gunna need you to commit seppuku

here is your frisbee and butter

Druhim

durrrr I like otters

#pipe

wait this movie isn't based on that kids movie scripts at all

where are the giant robot pirates?
where are the titties?
where are the guitar solos?

#pipe

Druhim wrote: »

durrrr I'm ooooold

uncanny

Staxeon

Everyone knows the wicked guitar riffs are held in reserve for when someone gets hurt at a pivotal point of the plot.

And you forgot a car chase.

STATE OF THE ART ROBOT

Druhim you are dumb.

Blake T

Druhim

durrrr I like 2 talk about fud

Darmak

this isn't where I parked my car

Peter Ebel

Hmm, a Ninja movie without a white guy as the main lead?

Brass balls, brass fucking balls.

#pipe

hey dru, how do you feel about this

Druhim

durrrrr I like to put things in my butt and also I r dumb

TheBlackWind

Raaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiinnnnnn

Calamity Jane

#pipe wrote: »

hey dru, how do you feel about this

r rated or uncut

TankHammer

I once registered on the Real Ultimate Power forums when I was in high school. They were mean to me when all I was trying to do was play along with their silly ninja fantasies. They suggested I kill myself with a frisbee.

Druhim

Anjin-San wrote: »

#pipe wrote: »

hey dru, how do you feel about this

r rated or uncut

why the fuck would you watch an R rated version of a porn flick?

#pipe

Druhim wrote: »

Anjin-San wrote: »

#pipe wrote: »

hey dru, how do you feel about this

r rated or uncut

why the fuck would you watch an R rated version of a porn flick?

for the story!

it's about pirates!

Druhim

#pipe wrote: »

Druhim wrote: »

Anjin-San wrote: »

#pipe wrote: »

hey dru, how do you feel about this

r rated or uncut

why the fuck would you watch an R rated version of a porn flick?

for the story!

it's about pirates!

I'm imagining your avatar saying that as he exposes himself

Calamity Jane

Druhim wrote: »

Anjin-San wrote: »

#pipe wrote: »

hey dru, how do you feel about this

r rated or uncut

why the fuck would you watch an R rated version of a porn flick?

i know

what sort of asshole wants to live in that world?

Crashmo

ninja dance

Calamity Jane

i think the best part about pirates is the ladies filling in for characters

just playing on the fact dudes want to fuck captain jack sparrow but need a socially acceptable way to say it

L|ama

wasn't stoya in pirates 2

Robcham

weren't pirates in stoya?

L|ama

you missed the tw-

ohhhh

Defender

This movie looks like balls. It's neither realistic historical-fiction type stuff, nor holy shit crazy Ninja Gaiden stuff. Plus the dude may as well be white, he's fucking Korean.