girlfriend has cold sore... [Solved]

blue powder

So this girl I've been seeing has a cold sore. What's the deal with this? Will I inevitably contract herpes simplex even if I wait for it to go into the remission stage? From experience, is her having a cold sore a huge deal?

I really like the girl, so it's not an issue of if I should break up with her or that it's gross, I just really don't want to contract the virus. How long can I not kiss her, how often will this happen and how long does the infectious period last and things like that?

Thanks, guys!

Jeff210

I was in the same dilemma two and a half years ago, i had no idea what cold sores are and I immediatly thought WTF STDS AND SHIT. Turns out this girl got them when she was a child haha. Did some research, turns out tonnes of people have it. It is also possible to have it but not actually get coldsores.

They say that even when someone doesnt have a cold sore they still have traces of it in their saliva and it is possible to transmit. I have been with my girlfriend now for 2.5 years and I haven't contracted it. We just make sure not to kiss / drink out of the same things when she has one. She usually has it 2-4 times per year, for about a week or so each? I think thats about right. They are triggered by a number of things including stress.

Shawnasee

No head while she is showing.
No kissing while she is showing.
No sharing drinks while she is showing.
No pegging while....oh wait.

As long as there isn't an open sore, you should be alright. My wife and I have been married three years and she hasn't gotten it either.

Just be careful.

oldsak

Something like 85% of the global population have hsv-1. It's possible you actually have it but never have had any symptoms. It's also not something you can realistically completely prevent exposure to if you're going to be dating considering how many people have it.

I'd lay off kissing her while she has symptoms as she's more contagious then, but it's still possible to get it from her while in remission.

Kistra

Eh, something like 75% of people have HSV1. Most people never get cold sores. Shawnasee's advice is good and you should follow it. But at the same time you shouldn't freak out about it too much because it is highly likely you already have HSV1 and are simply one of the (majority of people) that never get cold sores.

Raggaholic

The advice here has been pretty good. Viral shedding (and likelihood of you getting it) is at its greatest when there is a sore showing. If she preforms oral sex on you while she has an outbreak, the chance of you contracting genital herpes is pretty much through the roof. Most people aren't aware that you can contract genital herpes from a cold sore.

SideAffects

Is it really 75%, or is that a bloated figure? I always figured that number was similar to the figures that suggest that "75% of people have cheated on their spouses". I'm just curious.

blue powder

Fantastic, you guys have helped me relax significantly! I actually work around bacteria etc. in my field, but this comes across as a sort of sinister virus to me, and it freaks me out!

Kistra

Raggaholic wrote: »

The advice here has been pretty good. Viral shedding (and likelihood of you getting it) is at its greatest when there is a sore showing. If she preforms oral sex on you while she has an outbreak, the chance of you contracting genital herpes is pretty much through the roof. Most people aren't aware that you can contract genital herpes from a cold sore.

Sort of.

It is possible to contract HSV-1 in your genitals. However, HSV-1 doesn't replicate very well in genital neurons and extremely rarely causes outbreaks unless the person is immunosuppressed in some way.

The normal genital herpes is HSV-2. This is a separate virus. HSV-2 can infect oral tissues. If you got genital herpes from oral sex most likely the person who gave you oral sex had genital herpes in their mouth.

Yes, about 75% of people have HSV-1. Between 20 and 25% of people have HSV-2. And HSV-2 is a bit more sinister than HSV-1. HSV-1 only causes serious problems in infants under 6 months old. HSV-2 can cause encephalitis and even death, extremely rarely in healthy people but more commonly in immunosuppressed people.

EDIT: Those numbers were established by looking for antibodies in blood samples. There have been multiple studies but I couldn't find any quickly that are freely available.

acidlacedpenguin

alternatively, you could just get it so you don't have to worry about getting it ever again. . .

Lurk

I know like 3 people who don't get cold sores. That shit is common.

Alphadouche

Still people shouldn't be so desperate that they'd make out with girls with open sores and shit. Just wait.

blue powder

yeah, that's pretty creepy.. i have no problem waiting, was just curious how manageable this whole situation is. so i guess i'll have no problem staying with her and not contracting herpes simplex if we're sensible and assuming the whole shedding thing won't get me.

if i were a carrier without any symptoms, is it possible i gave it to her? we only first hooked up like 2 weeks ago so i guess not.

Hedgethorn

On a related note, if your girlfriend doesn't use Abreva, recommend it to her. It's expensive as hell (~$15 for something like a 1/10th of an ounce), but it really does work. I start applying it as soon as I feel a cold sore coming on (my lip starts tingling a day or two before the sore is visible), and my outbreaks are half as long as they used to be: 3-5 days instead of 7-10 days.

Chanus

I know, I know, it's serious... (sorry, just what the title made me think)

If it's just on the mouth, there's not much too worry about... just don't get too fancy during an outbreak.

Abreva is a pretty great product for reducing their duration.

Topweasel

Hedgethorn wrote: »

On a related note, if your girlfriend doesn't use Abreva, recommend it to her. It's expensive as hell (~$15 for something like a 1/10th of an ounce), but it really does work. I start applying it as soon as I feel a cold sore coming on (my lip starts tingling a day or two before the sore is visible), and my outbreaks are half as long as they used to be: 3-5 days instead of 7-10 days.

I don't know if I am just over protective and as a guy if I don't shave for a bit it can itch anyways but there are several times where I have thought I was getting one, had a thing of abreva near by, that I have come out of it with out developing a sore.

So my word of wisdom. Even as expensive as it is, get thing of abreva and have you girl keep it in her purse its a lifesaver.

variant

Wait is that for real? You can get genital herpes from oral+cold sore?

Chanus

variant wrote: »

Wait is that for real? You can get genital herpes from oral+cold sore?

If the oral cold sore is from genital herpes (HSV-2), then yes.

tbloxham

Have you kissed people before? If yes, then you have HSV1, you can pretty much assume so, and if you don't and you are making out with someone who is you will inevitably get it. So, while you shouldn't kiss her while she has an outbreak, its because its kinda painful and wierd not because of the virus.

blue powder

yeah i've been around, so i probably do have this. okay cool, well thanks a lot for all of your help, guys! I really do appreciate all the life experience and knowledge you guys have to share!