(psycho) exgirlfriend problem

xxhennersxx

alright, a few months back you may recall when I asked about how to get out of this crazy relationship with this girl I was in. well I recently finally got out of it. And now I'm seeing this other girl. And I really like this other girl. But my ex and this new girl know each other...and hate each other.

My ex girlfriend keeps talking to me, and keeps trying to be friends and stuff. Like, when I was going out for coffee with this new girl and my ex knew about it she went to the coffee shop we were going to. Luckily I had a feeling that was going to happen and cancelled the outting for coffee...

anyway, I want this girl out of my life. I mean, it'd be nice to have her as a friend still but she's fucking WEIRD. Like, besides being obsessivly inlove with my still, she's just flat out crazy. Like I was invited to visit her family for Christmas, so I came by her house with her present (katamari demacy) and a tray of cookies and I (being my dorky self) when she opened the door said "GREETINGS! I BRING GIFTS OF FRANKENSENCE AND MER!" and she, in a fake british accent says "Happy Christmas" and tell sme to put the stuff on the table.

she asks if I want to watch a movie i say 'okay' and she keeps talking in a fake accent. And I asked her about it and she was like 'what accent'. she's so WEIRD.

She keeps calling me and IMing me and stuff. I'm getting really tired of it. I don't want to be mean and say "leave me the fuck alone you psycho" but i mean, it's looking like that's the only way I can actually do it. I don't know what to do, how can I get this girl out of my life?

Feral

Tell her it's too soon after the breakup to be close friends and you need some time off. If she tries to call or IM you after that, tell her once that you specifically asked for time off and this means that you can't talk to her for a while. After that, just ignore her calls and IMs.

Man up and be firm.

tuscloud311

sounds like the other end of my thread...

My suggestion, is clearly based on my experience...and that is to not let this psycho ex-girlfriend have any influence on your current relationship.

Phase her out...if you want her to be your friend, and only your friend, then treat her like one. Refrain from having excessive amounts of communication, if any at all.

Always keep in mind, your current girlfriend is, and always will be, more important than any ex. Focus on her, and do what it takes to keep HER happy.

Grimm

Im confused. You want her out of your life but you go to her house on christmas?

Callius

This sounds somewhat like my last break up.

My ex was insane and also wanted to remain friends. I figured that wouldn't be too bad.

Well, fast forward a few months and I started up a relationship with my current lady friend. My ex went psycho mode. Calling, e-mailing with "cutesy" letters and generally being extremely passive aggressive (her character trait).

Basically, what's she's doing (I believe) is showing you that she's somehow "better" than your new girlfriend. She's trying to be cute and hit on a heart string of yours.

I finally got fed up with it and stopped talking to her altogether. Come to find out later, surprise, that she was insulting my girlfriend behind our backs.

Frankly put, I'm glad I got her out of my life. Trust me, you will too. Psychotic ex-girlfriends don't get magically sane when you break up.

Endomatic

When you break up with a woman, you CANNOT shift directly into friend mode, doubly so if she suggests it. Why the fuck do people always assume this is possible?

It usually takes several months of awkward ignorance, followed by a small period of time with mild social interaction. If that works, then you may be able to shift into a friendship.

xxhennersxx

Grimm wrote:

Im confused. You want her out of your life but you go to her house on christmas?

Well I agreed before I wanted her out of my life. and christmas was kind of the last straw.

ege02

Feral wrote:

Man up and be firm.

Callius

Yeah, if you're really in to this new girl you have to realize that this is only going to hurt this new relationship. And needlessly so.

Elessar Elfstone

Endomatic wrote:

When you break up with a woman, you CANNOT shift directly into friend mode, doubly so if she suggests it. Why the fuck do people always assume this is possible?

It usually takes several months of awkward ignorance, followed by a small period of time with mild social interaction. If that works, then you may be able to shift into a friendship.

Bingo. I was able to remain friends with my 2yr g/f from Highschool but not after pretty much nil contact for about 2 months, then some MSN chat, then hanging out. It was cool while it lasted but we both we our seperate ways when she finished College so we dont talk much now, but thats not due to any sort of harsh feelings.

Drez

Elessar Elfstone wrote:

Endomatic wrote:

When you break up with a woman, you CANNOT shift directly into friend mode, doubly so if she suggests it. Why the fuck do people always assume this is possible?

It usually takes several months of awkward ignorance, followed by a small period of time with mild social interaction. If that works, then you may be able to shift into a friendship.

Bingo. I was able to remain friends with my 2yr g/f from Highschool but not after pretty much nil contact for about 2 months, then some MSN chat, then hanging out. It was cool while it lasted but we both we our seperate ways when she finished College so we dont talk much now, but thats not due to any sort of harsh feelings.

When you transition out of any environment that has a secondary, temporary social atmosphere, you usually have to work to maintain your relationships with those people - like high school, college, a particular job, etc. It's pretty normal for people to drift apart unless there is really something bonding them together.