As was foretold, we've added advertisements to the forums! If you have questions, or if you encounter any bugs, please visit this thread: https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/240191/forum-advertisement-faq-and-reports-thread/
Options
The Changing Of Majors
Et_tu?
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Annnnd, my parents won't allow it.
I'm in music performance, and I would like to change my major, but my parents won't allow it. And since they pay for schooling and what not, I don't feel like there's much I can do about it.
I have gotten into a ton of arguments and fights over it, and I have tried explaining things to them on various occassions.
I'm not happy though, and not doing well in college (and it's my first year of college too). I failed about 3 of my classes this first semester, and got low marks in all my others except for 2 of them. The teachers weren't helping much though either. This made me pretty depressed, and I'm starting to dislike music which is also making me sad becuase it's not one of those things I want to hate.
My parents basically told me I should stick with what I'm majoring in because it's what I decided to do when I started out. But that doesn't really make sense to me. I changed my mind, can't I change my major?
SO, I was wondering what everyone here thought and whether anyone had any advice on the matter.
Danke!
I'm in music performance, and I would like to change my major, but my parents won't allow it. And since they pay for schooling and what not, I don't feel like there's much I can do about it.
I have gotten into a ton of arguments and fights over it, and I have tried explaining things to them on various occassions.
I'm not happy though, and not doing well in college (and it's my first year of college too). I failed about 3 of my classes this first semester, and got low marks in all my others except for 2 of them. The teachers weren't helping much though either. This made me pretty depressed, and I'm starting to dislike music which is also making me sad becuase it's not one of those things I want to hate.
My parents basically told me I should stick with what I'm majoring in because it's what I decided to do when I started out. But that doesn't really make sense to me. I changed my mind, can't I change my major?
SO, I was wondering what everyone here thought and whether anyone had any advice on the matter.
Danke!
"Because, it's not really about you or me. It's about Wii. And together, Wii will change everything."
Et_tu? on
0
Posts
If they say yes, consider taking loans so you're not dependent on them. And after that, change your major to what you want to do.
Also, make sure you let them know that your decision to change your major will not make college take longer (which means they don't have to pay more than they do right now).
What I would like to change my major would still be just as useless really as music performance, but it would incorporate more of what I love thus making me happier. I don't completely want to drop music forever, I just want to incorporate more into it and not have music as a main thing. Taking up a minor is not an option, I looked into it. Doing a double major is even less of an option. (so I was thinking BA in Fine Arts so I could take private lessons still and take some music classes, along with other art classes)
If I do end up getting a loan I'm just going to end up moving and switching schools all together to a place I'd be far happier in, BUT since I'm 19 and have not established credit I can't get a loan on my own. My parents won't co-sign for a loan, and I can't find anyone to co-sign (I've looked).
Really if at all possible I'd like to avoid getting a loan for undergrad if at all possible. It's just too much money to be responsible for, for such a minor part of college (especially when it comes to the arts--where you go for grad school is what matters, so I plan on going somewhere better then and taking a loan out then if needed).
So first of all, you have to ask yourself: do you not like music because you do bad in it, or do you do bad in it because you don't like it?
If it's the former, your parents are right. If it's the latter, you have to explain it to them. Let them know in no uncertain terms that you welcome a challenge, as long as you have fun trying to tackle that challenge. And music does not fit the latter part.
You need to think like your parents do, and put yourself in their shoes. If they are normal parents, they wouldn't want you to keep doing something you don't like. However they also wouldn't want you to turn tail and run when you come across something difficult... and they can't tell you that without insulting you (i.e. hinting that you're a coward, or something).
My suggestion at this point is to really focus on your classes and try to do good in them. Next semester really put yourself into it, and let your parents see you try as hard as you can. At the end, when you get good grades, sit down with your parents and be like, "look guys, I can do this. I just don't want to." They should listen then.
You're in first year, so it's absolutely understandable for you to want to switch majors or know that it isn't really right for you. And being taught by profs you dislike will make you hate playing (which seems to be happening). Tell your parents about how this is really making you hate music, practising and performance, and tell them you can learn and practise independently. Make a commitment to them about practise, and then follow through with it to gain their trust.
Wow, this is nearly the opposite problem my sister had, when she wanted to go to uni for percussion.
Switch: SW-7603-3284-4227
My ACNH Wishlists | My ACNH Catalog
But really, I don't think you should have to prove to your parents that you're unhappy...
The whole "not likeimg music as mushc as I used to" thing started actually before my first semester, but I just blew it off and assumed I was just being a nervous pansy about it.
I'm really just not into it as much as I used to be. Performing cab be grate and all--hell, I've done it for the last 8 years--but my heart's just not all in it.
I've missed doing a lot of other things because all I've had time to do it music as of late, which has made me rather melancholy. And the skills I had in other areas (like drawing and sculpting) are even starting to degrade since I've stopped (duh) and I don't like seeing that happen. Really I'd like to be able to incorporate everything along with music (as I mentioned in my second post) so I can keep all of my skills sharp. I don't want to completely DROP music, I just want to have a broader range of studies. I explained all of this to my parents too, and they still wouldn't budge.
I'm really not just running away from music because it's too hard for me to do. I know I can do all of it, and they know it as well.
The reason I did poorly in a lot of my classes was because I wasn't really intersted in some of them and in others I had horrible teachers. When I'm not interested in something or see something as a waste of time, I start to slack off (I really don't mean to--I've tried motivating myself in such classes many times, but it never seems to work) and not do some things until the last minute. As far as the teachers went, a couple of them couldn't teach the subject. Literally, they weren't certified to teach the course and thus did a poor job of explaining things. In one class we had 60% of the class fail.
tZsetrek: They already know I already do redally well in the fine arts.
Although, the summer school classes might not be idea. Whether or not my parents would pay for that is another matter.
tSilverWind: My mother is a musician so that might be playing a role in this. And actually I could still learn from my main violin professor even if I changed majors, and my parents understand that that isn't a problem.
I have also been discussin this situation with my violin professor and she said if my heart is not 100%, I should really quit while I'm ahead.
You see, it's neat and all to do everything you like in equal amounts, but that's not getting you anywhere, unless you're a Homo Universalis, but lets assume you are but a mere mortal.
They're probably thinking that you can spend times on your other interests later on.
What they fail to understand is that not everyone is going to college to become filthy rich or incredibly good at something, a lot (you too?) of people go to college to have a fun time and learn what you are interested in. I mean, getting a job is still far off and specialized professions are kind of old anyways.
Try proving that you can not grow better at the music thing in this situation?
PS: I'm mostly guessing, in case you haven't noticed.
When I say it could work, I mean only that it should be okay so far as the school is concerned. It only delays the issues with the parents rather than resolving them, so it might not be a good solution.
And music majors have a shitload of courses they have to do as it is. It's not like other majors.
Most people that double major, double major in things that overlap. Those that don't, often regret it.
That said, music performance is something that it's only worth doing if you not only love it but want to do pretty much just that. I've known a lot of people that loved music but once they got to school for it, they just couldn't do it. It burned them out. I think it's silly to force you to stay with something that you don't want to, and encourage you to change your major if you feel that's what you want to do. College isn't about getting a degree and getting a job, it's about learning what you love and making the friends and connections to do well at that (or anything else) once you get out. Sure, you need a college degree to flip burgers nowadays, but it doesn't matter too much what that degree is. So go for it, change your major, and do well at it. You'll enjoy college a lot more, I'll guarantee you that.
Out of curiosity, if you don't mind my asking, what school?
Aldo- My mother, having been a music performance major herself back in the day, knows that it will be hard to make any money at all in this profession (unless I somehow make it big, which considering I am a violinist is highly unlikely). So that shouldn't even be an issue anyway. And I can't NOT grow any better at music if I'm practicing over 5 hours a day, and doing it efficiently. Plus, if I were to slack off on that on purpose to make it look like I can't progress, my private professor would give me a bad grade because making progress is part of my grade in studio.
God- No, that wouldn't work--I already mentioned that. it would be impossible to double major since I'm in music performance since it already takes up all of my time. I'm suppose to practice about 5 hours a day, and then considering other rehearsals I have to go to (like quartet and Symphony), and then how many credit hours I would be taking, I wouldn't have any time to do any work for some other major. Especially since nothing overlaps well with music performance other than music education which I really REALLY do NOT want to get into at all.
FunkyWaltDogg- read above response to God.
For the Future- exactly.
Zifnab- You kind of told me to do what I'm asking how to do. If you read my first post again, you'll see that my parents basically aren't allowing me to change my majors. And I'm trying to figure out how to either 1)Change their minds, or 2) get around them somehow without loosing too much finacial support (which feels highly unlikely at this ponint). Also check your PMs.
Hell, mine used to pressure me that I was pushing myself too hard because I got C's in AP classes (which effectively count as A's, and I didn't feel like pushing myself more than that at the time). This is really a hard question to answer.
You seem to have skills in all sorts of art, with music being your focus. Honestly, if you want to be able to make money in such a field (and assuming this is what your parents are worried about), you'd need to work your way up into an astounding skill level and join an orchestra or some sort, or else you'd need to focus on all of your skills and try to become a music teacher or maybe even an art teacher (since you've got the talent to do more than just music, maybe you could teach art and music classes at a local school if you got a degree in the proper field).
If any of that sounds appealing to you, I'd suggest you talk to your parents about your specific plans for the future. If you talk to them and you have a solid plan of going to school, getting such and such degree, getting internships, and doing all such things required to form a career for yourself, they would probably be more likely to listen. If you're telling them that your school schedule is just ruining your love for music and that you don't want to do it any more (without some alternative plans), they may think you're just being immature and making a snap-decision based upon some frustration from your first semester at school.
Now, if you've talked with them about career plans if you do something else and stuff like that, and they still won't yield (saying you have to do music no matter what), then I suggest you try to get some professors to endorse your views. Get someone else's opinion to your parents, see if you can't use numbers to change their minds.
A lot (A WHOLE lot) of students end up changing their majors at least once, and graduating in 4 years is a major accomplishment for most people by itself (to say nothing of GPA or major). Not everybody can just pick what they want going into college and roll with it like it was their plan all along. Hell, I went into college with EU (Engineering Undeclared) as my major because I honestly had no idea what the heck I was going to do with my life. See if your school has a program like that you can subscribe to (they're usually scaled down in course difficulty with a regular number of credit hours and a wide variety of subjects, and there's seminars and special advisors for you so you can focus in on your real interests and find what fields relate to those interests, be it education, orchestra, or what have you), it's usually called FYC or first year college.
I went to a few different meetings for different engineering majors and decided to go with Civil Engineering because, based upon one 45 minute meeting, I was thoroughly interested by and felt I was capable of doing everything related to the field. About four semesters later and I've got a career path for myself now, a ladder leading through various engineering positions at a major concrete formwork company in the southeast which works on large steel & concrete buildings. I start with an internship this summer.
I think what you need is some variety of experience like this. It helps to fill in on experiences that you might've missed when you were younger so you can really figure out what it is that you really want to do with your life. If I hadn't done the program myself, I would've been stuck learning Computer Science related stuff right now. I realize now that Comp Sci is REALLY not what I wanted to do, even though it was my initial interest (and my current major is related, I'm just building something else on a slightly larger scale
This is all just my opinion and based upon my experience. If you want to talk to me more just PM me!
I'm about to graduate, and although I wound up graduating in what I came into college declaring, I definitely dabbled enough to know that it was what I wanted. This meant that it's taken me nearly an extra year to graduate, but I consider it well worth it.
Bottom line: there is plenty of time to get on the 'work-for-money-doing-something-you-hate' track after you graduate. I know a lot of people who were in something like your situation, and wound up majoring in something they weren't passionate about for the sake of success later. Not worth it. College is maybe the one chance you have to do and learn things you're passionate about, and you should take it.
What I would tell your parents is this: you've been in music performance for a number of years, and you're realizing that you're not happy with it in college and you think you'd rather pursue something else. You still want to play, and plan on continuing with your instrument, just not in the academic or professional setting. Assuming your school isn't a conservatory or something, take a couple other classes so that you can give them concrete ideas about what you'd like to major in. You want to convince them that you'll get more value out of something other than music; paying for your education is useless if you don't like it or think you'll use it.
Your counselor or major advisor (if you have one at this point) might be able to help you with this, whether it's just through advice or by talking fto your folks directly. Even though they're often tools (particularly the ones assigned to freshmen), it's work looking into.
If you believe your parents can't be convinced, you have a tough path ahead. One option is biting the bullet and finishing in music. Not my reccomendation, as you might've guessed.
You're going to have a very difficult time self-financing your education, period. You don't say where you live, but I'm going to guess the U.S. Paying for postsecondary education's harder than it's ever right now. Depending on what the new Congress does and what state you live in, you may have to declare yourself independent of your parents (for tax purposes; this will help you on your FAFSA), and probably work while you go to school part time. Having some outside scholarship money helps as well, and it's easier to get than you think if you spend some time applying for everything you can find.
Here again, your school's financial aid office can probably help, at least by giving you some direction.
Finally, you shouldn't be too afraid of student loans. Even as fucked as the student loan system in the U.S. is right now, the rates are low compared to basically any other type of loan, and you probably have more time than you think to pay them off.
Good luck!
Pluto was a planet and I'll never forget
Also, it might be a matter of just flat-out telling your parents that it's your life and your going to do what makes you happy. If they can't get behind that then you might be stuck taking out loans, but at least you won't be miserable out in the real world doing something you hate (instead you'll just be frantically trying to pay back a fuckton of money)
I think you misunderstood me. I suggested a double major as a wink wink nudge nudge single major. You know, the part where I mentioned you not take any more music performance classes, since I assumed you would be doing that anyway, wanting to change majors away from music performance and all.
My major is philosophy. And by that I mean that I checked some box next to philosophy online, my advisor is a philosophy professor, and I take a lot of philosophy classes that will let me graduate with a philosophy degree. But, let's say that I didn't want to do philosophy anymore but wanted to switch to Biology, and my parents wouldn't allow it. I thought a clever solution would be to "double major" (click the biology box and not uncheck the philosophy one), switch my advisor to someone else, and stop taking philosophy classes and take biology ones instead. So, in four years, I would have myself a degree in biology without ever having switched out of Philosophy (on paper, at least).
How involved are your parents in this, anyway? Do they look over your transcripts? Do you run your schedules by them? Why wouldn't this work?
FERPA laws prohibit the college from giving out anything related to you - they can't even acknowledge that you attend that university - no matter who is footing the bill. Even if you're under 18 and a minor, without a release of information form they can't find out jack shit.
Underhanded, but if that's what you have to do then that's what you have to do.
The Apocalypse Has Never Been More Fun
Secret Satan Wishlist!! Thinkgeek Wish List
There's nothing to prevent his parents from saying, for example, "show us your grades/transcript" and then discovering that he has changed majors. Sure, he could refuse to show it to them, but then they can just stop paying for his education. Secondly, college educations aren't exactly cheap; how do you think his parents are going to feel when they find out they paid for his under false pretenses? Maybe I'm just old fashioned, but I think I'd take out loans (or continue trying to convince my parents to see reason) rather than effectively stealing tens of thousands of dollars from them.
make a fake one?
See how lies suck ass? Tell one lie nad you got to pile a 100 more on top.
If they're gonna be complete dicks about it, they need to be taught a lesson.
But yes, taking out loans and/or grants would be better, anyway.
The Apocalypse Has Never Been More Fun
Secret Satan Wishlist!! Thinkgeek Wish List
oh, i'm not saying that you did, ut if it ever came down to them asking for his transcript or whatever he could be trapped into more lying. Hell, not tellling somebody some is basically lying
Mindstorm - I took a whole bunch of AP and dual-enrollment classes while I was in high school, and I actually managed to get all of my general credits (like math, english, and science, etc) out of the way before going into college. So really, I could actually graduate early right now as it is. So I tried to explain to them that even if I changed majors I could graduate within four years (as long as I changed my major now, or in the third semester).
I actually was planning on joining a symphony of some sort. I was also planning on joining the Musician's Union which would help greatly in getting a job. However, I am really, REALLY not into the whole teaching thing, unless it's private teaching--and even then I'm not completely into the idea.
I did indeed talk to them about the career goals I have in mind, but they basically just sqaushed it and told me to get a practical degree instead (and somehow they counted music performance as a practical degree and won't let me switch to anything else unless it's business. Woo).
Dyscord - I agree with you about the "work-for-money-doing-something-you-hate" thing can come after college, but this is a time to expand the learning process and take advantage of what's being offered.
I considered just finishing music and then going back to school for what I'd really like to do while doing some performance gigs to help pay for it (like playing in weddings, and possibly playing in a sym[hony of some sort), but I don't know if student loands would be available then, and I find it kind of a waste of time to do womething like that, as well as being wasteful with money.
I'll definitely look into the possibility of declaring myself independant and just braking off completely from my parents.
DevryGuy - Basically everything I was taking was major-related since I got all of my general studies out of the way during high school. Although I did take a few classes that weren't required (like an art history class).
I might end up having to do that last part though. Although I hate the idea of using loan money for undergrad right now. I'd really rather just save the loans for grad school.
God - No, I understood, but I kind of ignored it. Sorry. I don't know how your school works, but if I declare a double major in my school I'd actually HAVE to take courses in both the areas of the majors I declared. if I didn't, I wouldn't graduate, and I'd be in danger of loosing my scholarship. Also, before I can just check of the boc for a double major and just sign up for classes, I would have to petition to the board of directors that I can handle a double major and that I really need it, etc. This is because double-majoring with music is just in general a really bad idea.
That's basically the number one reason as to why that wouldn't work. And my parents are indeed fairly involved in it because they pay for all of it. Thus they see it as their right to basically know everything.
Kewop Decam - I'm not going to lie about what I'm doing in college. I've found that lying always comes back to bite me hard in the ass. While it may be easier at first, hell will break out later.
Cogliostro - Read above statement. Also, if I did that, my parents would evetually find out and be outraged. Then I can kiss any financial help from then goodbye. I do also think of "not saying anything" as a form of lying. It's just a little more underhanded.
Clipse - exactly how I feel about that.
So, get your degree in music performance and figure out what the hell you want to do afterward. Nothing but time and money stops you from getting a second degree or a job in a different field. OK, so you may not get a job as CEO of a major bank with a bachelors in trumpeting, but you won't really be much worse off than someone with an MBA.
All that really matters nowadays is that you have A degree...which one is sorta unimportant. This does depend on the job you are looking to get, but I would just go ahead and get through without changing gears and then going back to whatever it is you think you might want when you are done. You really won't know what you want to do with your life until you are 21/22 anyway, nearing the end of college, and unless you want to be a lawyer, doctor, or dentist, you can make your decision then anyway.
So they pay the bills, so what? You can get loans or a job to pay your own way if you need to. You are an adult now, and you should start making your own life decisions. If your parents can't handle that, then you need to go out on your own.
Wow that sounds like WAY too many classes. I would definitely put a cap at four. Not everyone can handle a huge courseload, you might just need to take fewer classes and spend a little more time getting your degree. My husband got into this trap—family expectations ridiculously high + too many classes = 20 years to get a BS. It's much better in the long-run to just take fewer classes.
Here is what I think (continued):
They cast a shadow like a sundial in the morning light. It was half past 10.