The new forums will be named Coin Return (based on the most recent vote)! You can check on the status and timeline of the transition to the new forums here.
The Guiding Principles and New Rules document is now in effect.
Friends doing something pretty rude.
EliteLamer
__BANNED USERS regular
__BANNED USERS regular
I moved to another city and they just called me up and told me they were going to come over tommorow. I said I had homework and other plans to which they just responded they I wait to the last min and play video games all the times. So they are just going to pop up anyways. This pisses me off..
My house is Trashed. I have plans to go see a movie later. I have home work and I can't possible make time for them. I would feel really rude if when they get here to tell them to go away. I am 150 miles away.
My house is Trashed. I have plans to go see a movie later. I have home work and I can't possible make time for them. I would feel really rude if when they get here to tell them to go away. I am 150 miles away.
SEGA
EliteLamer on
0
This discussion has been closed.
Posts
Isn't they a pretty good way to ruin a friendship. When they are from out of town and I know if I do this they will be pretty pissed off.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6G86ZhyVHAM
Call them up, tell them in no uncertain terms that if they came it would be to watch you do homework. Be assertive in what you say and make sure they understand the position. It's not you being the asshole, it's them.
Nothing's forgotten, nothing is ever forgotten
If they're really your friends, they wouldn't be this willfully ride to you and/or would respect a firm no.
I've had to tell good friends no before. I've told a guy I couldn't be his best man because his fiancee' cheated on him and couldn't be trusted so he shouldn't marry her. He was upset, but I wasn't a dick about it and we're still friends (they got divorced).
Now if you give a "friend" a rational no and they don't respect your wishes, are willfully rude, and purpously ignore a reasonable request then I don't see how they're really your friends.
Or you are friends and just need to put your foot down and stop being Safety Monkey.
Margaret Thatcher
"No man I have homework and.."
"Haha dude whatever we're coming to play some Halo, dawg!"
"Man.. but I have homework.."
vs
"No man I have homework and.."
"Haha dude whatever we're coming to play some Halo, dawg!"
"Look man I have shit to do, if you show up you're sitting outside a locked door. Sorry but tomorrow is not the time. Do not fucking come out here."
Probably this.
These are some of the best years of your life. Your friends aren't always going to be around. Try to get your homework done, and before they leave to go home, tell them to call you a little bit more in advanced next time.
You friends aren't going to care if your place is messy or not. Get your homework done and have a good time with them. Seems like you play the shut-in a lot and your friends want to help break you of this despite yourself, hence their insistence.
H/Aers with memories are douchebags. j/k
And forcing themselves on you when you've told them you're not up to hang is a good way to maintain a friendship?
Tell them no and leave it at that. They already know your situation, if they don't respect that then they're not very good friends. Even if they know you well enough to say you'll just procrastinate to the last minute, they should at least expect the fact that you're trying to do better. Either way, they're the ones being rude. You telling them no and not letting them in is what they deserve.
Face Twit Rav Gram
Of course, if they are rich with lots of spare time, and you have staunchly refused, do not open the door. If you're weak enough to succumb to their pleading, do your work in the library so you don't have to hear it. Show them that your word actually stands for something. They can't be expecting tours of the city from you every time they're out of things to pass Sundays with.
Dude much has went down in two weeks. I am pretty much part of a frat here and the only reason I am not in it is because am not enrolled in the university here. I am no shut in I assure you.
Hence the reason I am back at 6am from a party.
I'm not entirely sure if you have your priorities straight.
That is what I think. I told them I already had plans this weekend and it would just not be a good week for me but they should come down next week. Fuck anytime after Monday would be ok but just not this one day really. Besides I assure you they are not coming down here just for me but you know living 5 miles away from the top beaches and clubs might have something to do with it.
OK, sorry, was kinda silly of me to assume they were that nice.
I'd go with the closed door approach, really.
Sometimes friendships require sacrifices. That is... if you care about these friends.
Haven't you guys ever had those friends that everyone calls dbags because of the way the act? Some people are just that way.
I don't see what the problem is here. Either you don't hang out with your friends or you do.
But that's not the problem here, is it. You didn't come here asking how to handle this so much as which of these two decisions you should make.
And that is exactly why your friends are completely ignoring your protests. You're spineless. YOU went to a party because someone else told you to and you didn't have the spine to get out of it. YOU didn't clean your apartment because nobody told you to. And now YOU have friends coming down because YOU never made a decision in your life and they figure they'd better come see YOU, otherwise YOU will just continue to sit on your fat, stupid ass and stare at the internet.
Frankly, your friends are better off without you. Don't be home on the day they come visit. There are plenty of people on earth to make your decisions for you and making them drive 150 miles to do it is just a horrible thing to do.
I went to a party because I planned to go to a party as I usually do on the weekend. I planned to party then take Sunday off. Had a great time last night. Why would I want to turn down a part??? Fat people who sit on the internet all the time would not be booked with social events until Nov.
You can't seriously expect us to believe that. Really, you were just bitching about having to clean your place and going to watch a movie and having friends who complain about you sitting on your fat ass playing video games until the last minute and now you're booked solid for the next two weeks?
All of that is beside the point. The point is that you don't want to hang out with your friends and they're better off without you anyway. So I'm going to reiterate; what the fuck is the problem here? If you really don't have the spine to effectively tell them to not come visit you, then don't be home on the day that they do. It might be the shitty thing to do, but at least it's less shitty than keeping them on the back burner until you decide you want to do something with them.
I didn't complain about cleaning my place. I just said it was a mess and didn't want anyone to see it right now.. Spine HAHAH... you say that until you have them over at your place and they destroy your shit drunk. Have fun getting that money brotato because I have seen them do it to other people before. They are jackasses but they are my friends none the less. They treat each other this way too. Sorry I sometimes have a hard time dealing with people like this. I honestly don't have any other problems with any other friend I have ever had in my life.
people trying to come visit you and you possibly not wanting to see them or not having an open calender to make time for them is going to be one of those things that is going to happen all the fucking time in your life. assuming you're not a friendless basement dwelling loser you will run into conflicting social schedules. dealing with that in a mature way is what people do. all of them. all the people. every day.
Like has been said before, you either make the time, clear your schedule and hang out with your friends, or you tell them no and if they don't listen you don't open the door for them.
otherwise it'll play out like this:
"ok finally time to sit down and do this homework I strangely scheduled far in advance at the same time as my friends are coming to visit me, even though I told them I have homework to do"
::doorbell rings::
"I wonder who that could be"
[It is your friends]
"aww guys! I told you that I had homework to do!"
friend: "DUDE. we just drove 150 MILES to come see you!!! GET UP, WE'RE GOING CLUBBING"
"oh no! you have sucesfully overpowered my pathetic will, let's go"
Actually, this all just sounds like an elaborate excuse to yourself to get out of doing homework and feel justified about it.
Each time you respond to me, you make yourself to look like either a bigger liar or a bigger chump. Now are you really worried about ruining a "friendship" where people just invite themselves over to your place and wreck your shit or are you just trying to cover up that you're a fat, lazy fuck who can't clean up his place, get his homework done, and make time for his friends?
hahaha - i lurk here often but just decided to create an account because metalbourne, you are full of win.