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My comic

VargasVargas Registered User
edited October 2009 in Artist's Corner
I'm making a comic for my university, it's usually about stuff that happens there but when there isn't anything fun to draw I make weird stuff like this. I find the weird ones without any real meaning more fun to make aswell as watch.

Anyways, might upload more when I get to it (need to translate them into english and stuff). Pointers are very welcome.

rymd.gif

Vargas on

Posts

  • MagicToasterMagicToaster JapanRegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    This is terrible.

    MagicToaster on
  • srsizzysrsizzy Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    what

    srsizzy on
    BRO LET ME GET REAL WITH YOU AND SAY THAT MY FINGERS ARE PREPPED AND HOT LIKE THE SURFACE OF THE SUN TO BRING RADICAL BEATS SO SMOOTH THE SHIT WILL BE MEDICINAL-GRADE TRIPNASTY MAKING ALL BRAINWAVES ROLL ON THE SURFACE OF A BALLS-FEISTY NEURAL RAINBOW CRACKA-LACKIN' YOUR PERCEPTION OF THE HERE-NOW SPACE-TIME SITUATION THAT ALL OF LIFE BE JAMMED UP IN THROUGH THE UNIVERSAL FLOW BEATS
  • bombardierbombardier Moderator mod
    edited October 2009
    You guys win for most helpful posts ever in the AC.

    bombardier on
    ?username=bombardactyl&theme=dark
  • JimpyJimpy Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    I don't think anyone can give you help on this it... there isn't anything to judge. The art is okay though. Post something else.

    Jimpy on
  • TamTam Le Buggeur Risible Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    I have general ideas on advice to give you Vargas, but could you post some more work, please?

    Tam on
  • srsizzysrsizzy Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    what = the joke doesn't make any sense; there's a reason as to why this comic makes no sense but without the context of other comics that in itself makes no sense = probably should've posted a lump of comics instead of one that doesn't make any sense

    srsizzy on
    BRO LET ME GET REAL WITH YOU AND SAY THAT MY FINGERS ARE PREPPED AND HOT LIKE THE SURFACE OF THE SUN TO BRING RADICAL BEATS SO SMOOTH THE SHIT WILL BE MEDICINAL-GRADE TRIPNASTY MAKING ALL BRAINWAVES ROLL ON THE SURFACE OF A BALLS-FEISTY NEURAL RAINBOW CRACKA-LACKIN' YOUR PERCEPTION OF THE HERE-NOW SPACE-TIME SITUATION THAT ALL OF LIFE BE JAMMED UP IN THROUGH THE UNIVERSAL FLOW BEATS
  • bombardierbombardier Moderator mod
    edited October 2009
    Sorry, what does not equal that. Better luck next time.

    bombardier on
    ?username=bombardactyl&theme=dark
  • srsizzysrsizzy Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    what

    srsizzy on
    BRO LET ME GET REAL WITH YOU AND SAY THAT MY FINGERS ARE PREPPED AND HOT LIKE THE SURFACE OF THE SUN TO BRING RADICAL BEATS SO SMOOTH THE SHIT WILL BE MEDICINAL-GRADE TRIPNASTY MAKING ALL BRAINWAVES ROLL ON THE SURFACE OF A BALLS-FEISTY NEURAL RAINBOW CRACKA-LACKIN' YOUR PERCEPTION OF THE HERE-NOW SPACE-TIME SITUATION THAT ALL OF LIFE BE JAMMED UP IN THROUGH THE UNIVERSAL FLOW BEATS
  • Guy BellGuy Bell Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Vargas, your biggest problem is the fonts you used. Try a looser more comic book style font or hand letter it to fit with your drawing style.

    Guy Bell on
  • earthwormadamearthwormadam ancient crust Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    I would say that by no means could the fonts used be the biggest problem.

    That dude with a gerbil farm inside the arms of his spacesuit is the biggest problem. No scratch that, the biggest problem with this comic is that it has the audacity to waste a sixth of its panels on one that says the end. Maybe don't do that next time, cause it's pretty obvious where the end of a comic usually is.

    As a sequence of events, it leaves a lot to be desired. There's no payoff, or buildup for that matter. Also the linework looks sketchy and unconfident. Backgrounds are just a blurry mess.

    The colors at least look alright.

    earthwormadam on
  • MagicToasterMagicToaster JapanRegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    bombardier wrote: »
    You guys win for most helpful posts ever in the AC.

    You're right, we should always make an effort to always have constructive criticism.

    The colors at least look alright.

    See, what I first noticed was the colors, but if this is for a college newspaper, those colors will not look like that. Usually, metallic or electric colors like that shocking blue in the energy trail left by the ship or the bright green on the grass don't translate too well to CMYK. They end up looking muddy and dull.

    Also, why did you save this as a GIF? The color pallet is very limited and you get that horrible index color artifacting. I hope this is not for print.

    MagicToaster on
  • iglidanteiglidante Registered User
    edited October 2009
    The first three panels, to me at least, convey a pretty clear story. I like that, and it's easy to follow. The first two panels, shaky linework aside, really aren't that bad. I actually kind of like the pacing. Third panel, bad perspective, but it still gets the point across.

    But the "joke" here just doesn't do it for me. I understand you're trying to turn the whole "visitor from another planet" schtick on its head with dorky dialog, but the dialog doesn't work. Honestly, scrap the "the end" panel and remove the alien's "sup?" and you've got a stronger strip already.

    Basically, it's like this:

    Funky thing in space.
    Oh, cool, it's heading for the planet. This seems familiar.
    Ah, but it's the ALIENS watching the thing land.
    Human acts retarded.
    Aliens stare open-mouthed in confusion.

    iglidante on
  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    iglidante wrote: »
    The first three panels, to me at least, convey a pretty clear story. I like that, and it's easy to follow. The first two panels, shaky linework aside, really aren't that bad. I actually kind of like the pacing. Third panel, bad perspective, but it still gets the point across.

    But the "joke" here just doesn't do it for me. I understand you're trying to turn the whole "visitor from another planet" schtick on its head with dorky dialog, but the dialog doesn't work. Honestly, scrap the "the end" panel and remove the alien's "sup?" and you've got a stronger strip already.

    Basically, it's like this:

    Funky thing in space.
    Oh, cool, it's heading for the planet. This seems familiar.
    Ah, but it's the ALIENS watching the thing land.
    Human acts retarded.
    Aliens stare open-mouthed in confusion.

    I knew you had it in you

    Metalbourne on
  • 2 Marcus 2 Ravens2 Marcus 2 Ravens Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    iglidante wrote: »
    The first three panels, to me at least, convey a pretty clear story. I like that, and it's easy to follow. The first two panels, shaky linework aside, really aren't that bad. I actually kind of like the pacing. Third panel, bad perspective, but it still gets the point across.

    But the "joke" here just doesn't do it for me. I understand you're trying to turn the whole "visitor from another planet" schtick on its head with dorky dialog, but the dialog doesn't work. Honestly, scrap the "the end" panel and remove the alien's "sup?" and you've got a stronger strip already.

    Basically, it's like this:

    Funky thing in space.
    Oh, cool, it's heading for the planet. This seems familiar.
    Ah, but it's the ALIENS watching the thing land.
    Human acts retarded.
    Aliens stare open-mouthed in confusion.

    This would at least have it make some kind of sense. But he should definitely change that "Hai gais" bit. What the fuck is that? Use words god dammit.

    Actually, just scrap the dialogue completely. That'd also fix his terrible font problem.

    2 Marcus 2 Ravens on
  • iglidanteiglidante Registered User
    edited October 2009
    iglidante wrote: »
    The first three panels, to me at least, convey a pretty clear story. I like that, and it's easy to follow. The first two panels, shaky linework aside, really aren't that bad. I actually kind of like the pacing. Third panel, bad perspective, but it still gets the point across.

    But the "joke" here just doesn't do it for me. I understand you're trying to turn the whole "visitor from another planet" schtick on its head with dorky dialog, but the dialog doesn't work. Honestly, scrap the "the end" panel and remove the alien's "sup?" and you've got a stronger strip already.

    Basically, it's like this:

    Funky thing in space.
    Oh, cool, it's heading for the planet. This seems familiar.
    Ah, but it's the ALIENS watching the thing land.
    Human acts retarded.
    Aliens stare open-mouthed in confusion.

    This would at least have it make some kind of sense. But he should definitely change that "Hai gais" bit. What the fuck is that? Use words god dammit.

    Actually, just scrap the dialogue completely. That'd also fix his terrible font problem.

    Yeah, I think the face that guy is making pretty much says "durr" without having to actually write it out.

    iglidante on
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