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On Untangling Lives
AnonProblematic
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
So, it's been over two years since my previous thread in H/A.
In short, two years ago I was a helpless alcoholic who was miserable and rudderless in the face of change.
I quit drinking a year and a half after that post, in January '08. Best thing I've ever done. The girl in question and I stayed together, spent some time apart while we dealt with our first post-grad year, and then moved back in together last summer.
Now, over the course of the last 4-5 years we (my partner and I) have been living together, and as such we have ended up with a number of "shared belongings" to whom ownership isn't abundantly clear. I'm not concerned with "getting my half" or "milking as much as possible" from a potential split, but we may or may not be ending the relationship for numerous, personal reasons.
This isn't really a relationship thread. I haven't come to any decision concerning the relationship, but I am interested in any advice people may have in regards to splitting up a shared household. Are there any tricks or tips on how to avoid arguments (which will, most likely, be inevitable)?
To illustrate, we have things like our television ($600) our Wii ($200) and countless household items that we've split costs for, and would potentially need to be "fairly" divided. I recall when we first bought the television it was put on her credit card and she made a joking comment about how if we ever split, my name was no where on the purchase even though I handed her $300. I'm not concerned about "getting my money back", because if she wants the TV, it's hers, but I'm wondering if others have had similar experiences, in general, and how the best way to avoid screaming and yelling would be.
Any separation would be "amicable", but I want to prepare myself for the big "if".
Thank you.
In short, two years ago I was a helpless alcoholic who was miserable and rudderless in the face of change.
I quit drinking a year and a half after that post, in January '08. Best thing I've ever done. The girl in question and I stayed together, spent some time apart while we dealt with our first post-grad year, and then moved back in together last summer.
Now, over the course of the last 4-5 years we (my partner and I) have been living together, and as such we have ended up with a number of "shared belongings" to whom ownership isn't abundantly clear. I'm not concerned with "getting my half" or "milking as much as possible" from a potential split, but we may or may not be ending the relationship for numerous, personal reasons.
This isn't really a relationship thread. I haven't come to any decision concerning the relationship, but I am interested in any advice people may have in regards to splitting up a shared household. Are there any tricks or tips on how to avoid arguments (which will, most likely, be inevitable)?
To illustrate, we have things like our television ($600) our Wii ($200) and countless household items that we've split costs for, and would potentially need to be "fairly" divided. I recall when we first bought the television it was put on her credit card and she made a joking comment about how if we ever split, my name was no where on the purchase even though I handed her $300. I'm not concerned about "getting my money back", because if she wants the TV, it's hers, but I'm wondering if others have had similar experiences, in general, and how the best way to avoid screaming and yelling would be.
Any separation would be "amicable", but I want to prepare myself for the big "if".
Thank you.
AnonProblematic on
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I would try to sit down with her and explain that if you two work together, this could really be a painless activity, but if neither of you wants to compromise it'll just drag on.
I think this is your best avenue. Don't think of stuff as "The TV" and "The Wii and PS3." Think of it as "That's $600" and "That's $200" and "That's $400" and try to divvy up stuff equally.