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The Man's Garden

eatmosushieatmosushi __BANNED USERS regular
edited November 2009 in Help / Advice Forum
In this thread we discuss manscaping.

It has come to my attention that there are too many hares in the carrot patch.

Shave? (yikes!)

Wax? (eegads, what?)



What are some of the least unpleasant methods for dealing with such issues both in the background and on the main events themselves?

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eatmosushi on

Posts

  • Monolithic_DomeMonolithic_Dome Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Are you in a relationship at present? Unless someone in particular has requested a scorched earth policy, I recommend maintenance rather than complete removal. In other words, buy a beard trimmer and buzz everything as short as possible. Painless, easy, and generally looks rather dashing.

    Monolithic_Dome on
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  • eatmosushieatmosushi __BANNED USERS regular
    edited November 2009
    Yeah, engaged. Good call on the buzz work, but what about ye olde' hardboiled eggs?

    eatmosushi on
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  • Richard_DastardlyRichard_Dastardly Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    eatmosushi wrote: »
    Yeah, engaged. Good call on the buzz work, but what about ye olde' hardboiled eggs?
    Just use a regular ol' shaving razor and pull the skin tight. If you're careful you shouldn't lose a ball.

    Richard_Dastardly on
  • BelruelBelruel NARUTO FUCKS Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    i have seen my man shave his stones many many times and have never seen him cut them. be careful, but just pull it tight like richard said and go in short strokes, making sure there is plenty of moisture.

    also obligatory: extra optical inch

    Belruel on
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  • RUNN1NGMANRUNN1NGMAN Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Whatever you do, don't use Nair.

    RUNN1NGMAN on
  • iglidanteiglidante Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    You can use a beard trimmer on the "eggs" too, as long as it has a built-in guard over the clipping part. Just a little piece to come between the gyrating metal and your skin. But honestly, even a little pinch isn't going to kill you - it shouldn't cut the skin any.

    iglidante on
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  • eatmosushieatmosushi __BANNED USERS regular
    edited November 2009
    RUNN1NGMAN wrote: »
    Whatever you do, don't use Nair.

    yeah, was considering it.

    glad you said that specifically.

    eatmosushi on
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  • eatmosushieatmosushi __BANNED USERS regular
    edited November 2009
    Belruel wrote: »
    i have seen my man shave his stones many many times and have never seen him cut them. be careful, but just pull it tight like richard said and go in short strokes, making sure there is plenty of moisture.

    also obligatory: extra optical inch

    I don't NEED an optical inch, thank you.

    (more like an optical foot, hiyo)

    eatmosushi on
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  • darkmayodarkmayo Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    I use a razor on the berries, never nicked myself. I dont pull the skin tight, not sure just works fine without doing that. Do it in the shower, shaving cream or other stuff (depends on what you like to use) and you will be fine, I use a 2 blade Bic, I dont need more than two blades touching the junk.

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  • t_catt11t_catt11 Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    I do this in the shower a couple times a week, no big deal (I use a Gilette fusion). As long as you continue this policy, you will be fine. Woe to the man who decided to stop shaving once he has started - the hair coming back is horribly itchy, and can ingrow quite easily.

    Also, stay the %$@* away from electric trimmers on the jewels, sir. They like to occasionally grab and pull the hairs, and this is quite unpleasant. Nope, regular razor is the way to go.

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  • RUNN1NGMANRUNN1NGMAN Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    How about that Norelco body groomer thing? Anyone have any experience with that?

    RUNN1NGMAN on
  • eatmosushieatmosushi __BANNED USERS regular
    edited November 2009
    This thread is going places.

    eatmosushi on
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  • EskimoDaveEskimoDave Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    What about us gentlemen with hairy legs? Where one area begins and ends is indistinguishable. I don't have the nickname 'Hobbit Feet' for no reason. Its like I'm wearing fur pants pulled up to my belly button.

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  • MoSiAcMoSiAc Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    I try to go from the bait and tackle out, giving a kind of layered effect. I've seen guys with hairy legs shave their whole pubic region and it looks terrible, and gross.

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  • kitchkitch Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Just gradually thin out where the legs meet the junk and it'll look fine.

    e: On second thought, hairy people would have to do something about their super hairy stomachs too.

    kitch on
  • ToefooToefoo Los Angeles, CARegistered User regular
    edited November 2009
    I have the Norelco Bodygroomer and it is amazing. I'm a hairy guy (well, used to be) but this thing trims the hairs nice and short. For downstairs I use the shortest guard and just go to town, looks nice and well-kept without that porn star look. Only $30 too at Best Buy, it's a steal.

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  • Sir CarcassSir Carcass I have been shown the end of my world Round Rock, TXRegistered User regular
    edited November 2009
    MoSiAc wrote: »
    I try to go from the bait and tackle out, giving a kind of layered effect. I've seen guys with hairy legs shave their whole pubic region and it looks terrible, and gross.

    Like Dave Attell said, it looks like a garbage fire broke out on your nutsack.

    Sir Carcass on
  • FiggyFiggy Fighter of the night man Champion of the sunRegistered User regular
    edited November 2009
    RUNN1NGMAN wrote: »
    Whatever you do, don't use Nair.

    Why not? I use "Nair for Men"

    Besides the smell, it works great.

    Figgy on
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  • xa52xa52 Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    EskimoDave wrote: »
    What about us gentlemen with hairy legs? Where one area begins and ends is indistinguishable. I don't have the nickname 'Hobbit Feet' for no reason. Its like I'm wearing fur pants pulled up to my belly button.

    Mom?!

    xa52 on
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  • SpongeCakeSpongeCake Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    iglidante wrote: »
    You can use a beard trimmer on the "eggs" too, as long as it has a built-in guard over the clipping part. Just a little piece to come between the gyrating metal and your skin. But honestly, even a little pinch isn't going to kill you - it shouldn't cut the skin any.

    It shouldn't.

    But it does.

    Use a razor.

    D:

    SpongeCake on
  • RUNN1NGMANRUNN1NGMAN Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Figgy wrote: »
    RUNN1NGMAN wrote: »
    Whatever you do, don't use Nair.

    Why not? I use "Nair for Men"

    Besides the smell, it works great.

    I'm just not comfortable with smearing hair-disolving chemicals all over my balls.

    RUNN1NGMAN on
  • SliderSlider Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    I will only trim with an electric razor and sometimes very carefully with a small pair of scissors, but I usually use both.

    The danger is just too great to warrant a straight razor.

    Slider on
  • GihgehlsGihgehls Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Slider wrote: »
    I will only trim with an electric razor and sometimes very carefully with a small pair of scissors, but I usually use both.

    The danger is just too great to warrant a straight razor.

    This is a straight razor. I don't think anyone is suggesting this thing.

    Gihgehls on
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  • CyvrosCyvros Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Gihgehls wrote: »
    Slider wrote: »
    I will only trim with an electric razor and sometimes very carefully with a small pair of scissors, but I usually use both.

    The danger is just too great to warrant a straight razor.

    This is a straight razor. I don't think anyone is suggesting this thing.
    Unless maybe you're the giant from Jack and the Beanstalk.

    Cyvros on
  • DelzhandDelzhand Registered User, Transition Team regular
    edited November 2009
    Cyvros wrote: »
    Gihgehls wrote: »
    Slider wrote: »
    I will only trim with an electric razor and sometimes very carefully with a small pair of scissors, but I usually use both.

    The danger is just too great to warrant a straight razor.

    This is a straight razor. I don't think anyone is suggesting this thing.
    Unless maybe you're the giant from Jack and the Beanstalk.

    Or the demon barber of Fleet St.

    Delzhand on
  • FiggyFiggy Fighter of the night man Champion of the sunRegistered User regular
    edited November 2009
    RUNN1NGMAN wrote: »
    Figgy wrote: »
    RUNN1NGMAN wrote: »
    Whatever you do, don't use Nair.

    Why not? I use "Nair for Men"

    Besides the smell, it works great.

    I'm just not comfortable with smearing hair-disolving chemicals all over my balls.

    When you describe it like that, it sounds awful and dangerous.

    But you could also describe the other way as "scraping a surgically sharp metal blade across a wrinkly, often hard to navigate part of my body, wherein happens to be a great deal of nerve endings."

    Figgy on
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  • Geek MagnetGeek Magnet Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    I agree on the trimming only advice if you're very hairy. Shaving looks freakish if it's the only bare spot on your body. Also, if there is much hair on your chest consider trimming it up a little keeping a soft carpet without the tangled mess. Word to the wise - if you go too short it feels prickly instead of tickly.

    Geek Magnet on
  • DelzhandDelzhand Registered User, Transition Team regular
    edited November 2009
    Figgy wrote: »
    RUNN1NGMAN wrote: »
    Figgy wrote: »
    RUNN1NGMAN wrote: »
    Whatever you do, don't use Nair.

    Why not? I use "Nair for Men"

    Besides the smell, it works great.

    I'm just not comfortable with smearing hair-disolving chemicals all over my balls.

    When you describe it like that, it sounds awful and dangerous.

    But you could also describe the other way as "scraping a surgically sharp metal blade across a wrinkly, often hard to navigate part of my body, wherein happens to be a great deal of nerve endings."

    I really hope I'm not some sort of genetic freak, but my sack isn't very sensitive. The oats in the tote, sure, but the actual skin of the sack not so much.

    Delzhand on
  • syndalissyndalis Getting Classy On the WallRegistered User, Loves Apple Products, Transition Team regular
    edited November 2009
    If I don't keep it trim down there, it looks downright frightening.

    I have moderate body hair, so I don't go bald, but a good 3 guard gets the job done for the area above the equipment, and I shave the strays off of the twig and berries.

    Looks good IMO, and it does add "the optical inch" in my case, where left unchecked I have a forest.

    syndalis on
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  • FiggyFiggy Fighter of the night man Champion of the sunRegistered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Delzhand wrote: »
    Figgy wrote: »
    RUNN1NGMAN wrote: »
    Figgy wrote: »
    RUNN1NGMAN wrote: »
    Whatever you do, don't use Nair.

    Why not? I use "Nair for Men"

    Besides the smell, it works great.

    I'm just not comfortable with smearing hair-disolving chemicals all over my balls.

    When you describe it like that, it sounds awful and dangerous.

    But you could also describe the other way as "scraping a surgically sharp metal blade across a wrinkly, often hard to navigate part of my body, wherein happens to be a great deal of nerve endings."

    I really hope I'm not some sort of genetic freak, but my sack isn't very sensitive. The oats in the tote, sure, but the actual skin of the sack not so much.

    I take it you've never knicked your scrotum with a razor before?

    Terrible.

    Figgy on
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  • trentsteeltrentsteel Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    I've been completely bald for over a decade. Never going back. In fact the sight of pubic hair now causes me to gag.

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  • kitchkitch Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Cyvros wrote: »
    Gihgehls wrote: »
    Slider wrote: »
    I will only trim with an electric razor and sometimes very carefully with a small pair of scissors, but I usually use both.

    The danger is just too great to warrant a straight razor.

    This is a straight razor. I don't think anyone is suggesting this thing.
    Unless maybe you're the giant from Jack and the Beanstalk.

    I think we're more on the topic of the beanstalk from Jack and the Beanstalk.


    :winky:

    kitch on
  • Perfectly CromulentPerfectly Cromulent Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    EskimoDave wrote: »
    What about us gentlemen with hairy legs? Where one area begins and ends is indistinguishable. I don't have the nickname 'Hobbit Feet' for no reason. Its like I'm wearing fur pants pulled up to my belly button.

    Pfft. I look like I'm wearing fur overalls.

    Perfectly Cromulent on
  • KotenkKotenk Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    This thread has made my day. Thank you.

    Kotenk on
  • KivutarKivutar Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Figgy wrote: »
    Delzhand wrote: »
    Figgy wrote: »
    RUNN1NGMAN wrote: »
    Figgy wrote: »
    RUNN1NGMAN wrote: »
    Whatever you do, don't use Nair.

    Why not? I use "Nair for Men"

    Besides the smell, it works great.

    I'm just not comfortable with smearing hair-disolving chemicals all over my balls.

    When you describe it like that, it sounds awful and dangerous.

    But you could also describe the other way as "scraping a surgically sharp metal blade across a wrinkly, often hard to navigate part of my body, wherein happens to be a great deal of nerve endings."

    I really hope I'm not some sort of genetic freak, but my sack isn't very sensitive. The oats in the tote, sure, but the actual skin of the sack not so much.

    I take it you've never knicked your scrotum with a razor before?

    Terrible.

    Yea, I can no longer mentally handle having a razor anywhere near my sack.

    Electric trimmer works fine with the 1/8" guard, I've never nicked anything that way.

    Kivutar on
  • iglidanteiglidante Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Kivutar wrote: »
    Electric trimmer works fine with the 1/8" guard, I've never nicked anything that way.

    Yeah, that's what I use, and the worst I ever get is a tiny pinch every now and then if I'm not careful enough.

    iglidante on
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